Previous 1
Topic: lucky or very unlucky?
Atlantis75's photo
Wed 02/03/10 06:28 PM
Edited by Atlantis75 on Wed 02/03/10 06:31 PM
You know..I always here it on this site that "how glad" many are because they divorced from a marriage and they would never marry again.

I have never been married so I don't really know what it's like. I had a g/f for 4 years once, that's the longest relationship I have ever been with the same person.

On the other side, what I hear (constantly and endlessly) from my relatives and mother, friends, I'm somehow cursed or very "unfortunate" that I am still not married.

I know for fact, that my mothers' heart is broken because she wanted to see grandchildren really bad...she loves kids.

Personally, I want kids and I know, it's even a miracle to find a date, let alone to find someone who would actually stay for longer than a few years, and it's almost impossible to find women who are single and want kids. I kinda got that, that I'm looking for the impossible, or basically I will have to look elsewhere to find that, definitely not around here.

So what do you think? Am I fortunate that I have never got married and I'm nearly 35, or am I unfortunate and struck with bad luck?

dnc4Him's photo
Wed 02/03/10 06:34 PM
You are lucky you haven't married the wrong one and you will be even luckier when you marry the right one. I know that is over simplified, but it is what popped in my mind. I may add a more analytical answer later, maybe more what you are looking for.

motowndowntown's photo
Wed 02/03/10 06:36 PM
Lucks got nothing to do with it.

no photo
Wed 02/03/10 06:37 PM
All that really matters is what YOU think!
You gotta play the hand you've been dealt my brother.No need dwelling on what could be.

no photo
Wed 02/03/10 06:39 PM
I'm never getting married, so I don't think you're unlucky at all.

Atlantis75's photo
Wed 02/03/10 06:52 PM
Edited by Atlantis75 on Wed 02/03/10 06:53 PM

You are lucky you haven't married the wrong one and you will be even luckier when you marry the right one. I know that is over simplified, but it is what popped in my mind. I may add a more analytical answer later, maybe more what you are looking for.


But you see, I don't even know if I want to marry someone or not marry. Even if I find someone, I have no idea anymore what I should be aiming for. frustrated

To say in another way, I have no clue what women really wants anymore..so I have no clue of what to expect .

dnc4Him's photo
Wed 02/03/10 06:56 PM


You are lucky you haven't married the wrong one and you will be even luckier when you marry the right one. I know that is over simplified, but it is what popped in my mind. I may add a more analytical answer later, maybe more what you are looking for.


But you see, I don't even know if I want to marry someone or not marry. Even if I find someone, I have no idea anymore what I should be aiming for. frustrated

To say in another way, I have no clue what women really wants anymore..so I have no clue of what to expect .


Aim for peace and happiness. A person can't give you that. Being married or not can't give you that either.

dnc4Him's photo
Wed 02/03/10 07:00 PM
Okay, one more thing....more than what you are aiming for, ask yourself WHY?

no photo
Wed 02/03/10 07:01 PM


...LOL...luck i laugh at luck..ha ha..i was born on friday the 13th i have never been married and i have a son ...i was in a relationship for 14 years and i have never been married..i have raised my son for the last 7 years by myself..so you see .. luck has NOTHING to do with it...smokin

TheShadow's photo
Wed 02/03/10 07:16 PM
I don't think your lucky or unlucky as far as marrage goes. People seem to think that just because you have a signed document that marrage is different then being in a relationship. It don't matter if you married or not. You still have to learn how to grow with each other if you want the relationship to actually go anywhere. Just from what I have experience, people tent to think since your married these days. I own younoway and out of the blue this different personality comes out. Um, what happen to the person you met. Was it all a lie.


This is just me thinking out load and wondering if it would be woth even ever getting married again.

Ruth34611's photo
Wed 02/03/10 07:26 PM
You don't need marriage to have a long term relationship or children. I don't understand what the purpose of marriage is.

no photo
Wed 02/03/10 07:37 PM

You don't need marriage to have a long term relationship or children. I don't understand what the purpose of marriage is.


The pretty dress, the beautiful cake, the flowers, the presents, the party, the big diamond ring, the fancy dinner, calling yourself mr. and mrs. (blank). And when he dies you get all of his property, cash and other possessions, plus people actually feel sorry for you and list you in the obituary. Perhaps I should be looking for a husband?huh

Ruth34611's photo
Wed 02/03/10 07:49 PM


You don't need marriage to have a long term relationship or children. I don't understand what the purpose of marriage is.


The pretty dress, the beautiful cake, the flowers, the presents, the party, the big diamond ring, the fancy dinner, calling yourself mr. and mrs. (blank). And when he dies you get all of his property, cash and other possessions, plus people actually feel sorry for you and list you in the obituary. Perhaps I should be looking for a husband?huh


It's not worth it. Trust me.

no photo
Wed 02/03/10 07:51 PM



You don't need marriage to have a long term relationship or children. I don't understand what the purpose of marriage is.


The pretty dress, the beautiful cake, the flowers, the presents, the party, the big diamond ring, the fancy dinner, calling yourself mr. and mrs. (blank). And when he dies you get all of his property, cash and other possessions, plus people actually feel sorry for you and list you in the obituary. Perhaps I should be looking for a husband?huh


It's not worth it. Trust me.


Eh, I might do it anyway, just to say I did. I'm all about crappy experiences, you know. And if I'm lucky, he'll die first and I can be the merry widow. Now all I have to do is get out of WV so I can find a viable victim, er, candidate.....

Lynne47's photo
Wed 02/03/10 08:04 PM
If there is true love,who needs marriage? If you both are destined to be,then neither one will feel the desire to leave. Let alone,divvy up property. Or worse,divvy up children. Livin for the minute is ok sometimes, but never lose sight of the future. And what you need and want.

Ruth34611's photo
Wed 02/03/10 08:05 PM

If there is true love,who needs marriage? If you both are destined to be,then neither one will feel the desire to leave. Let alone,divvy up property. Or worse,divvy up children. Livin for the minute is ok sometimes, but never lose sight of the future. And what you need and want.

drinker

Gossipmpm's photo
Wed 02/03/10 08:24 PM
Well I got married cause I loved the man, wanted to have children with him and be together forever

my wedding was beautiful everything I dreamed of. I was a princess for a day

I don't think I could have ever had children without marriage. Not because of religous beliefs but because I believe they need a good start. Jmo but that's another thread

but it didn't last. It just didn't

But I do hope my four daughters. Fall in love. Have the weddings of thier dreams and I can only pray it lasts forever

Atlantis

I wouldn't call it lucky or unlucky

I just think it hasn't come for you yet!:heart:

EquusDancer's photo
Wed 02/03/10 10:08 PM

You know..I always here it on this site that "how glad" many are because they divorced from a marriage and they would never marry again.

I have never been married so I don't really know what it's like. I had a g/f for 4 years once, that's the longest relationship I have ever been with the same person.

On the other side, what I hear (constantly and endlessly) from my relatives and mother, friends, I'm somehow cursed or very "unfortunate" that I am still not married.

I know for fact, that my mothers' heart is broken because she wanted to see grandchildren really bad...she loves kids.

Personally, I want kids and I know, it's even a miracle to find a date, let alone to find someone who would actually stay for longer than a few years, and it's almost impossible to find women who are single and want kids. I kinda got that, that I'm looking for the impossible, or basically I will have to look elsewhere to find that, definitely not around here.

So what do you think? Am I fortunate that I have never got married and I'm nearly 35, or am I unfortunate and struck with bad luck?



Don't know what to tell you. My brother and I are taking flack from the relatives because we aren't married with kids. Apparently we're abnormal or something. My grandmother actually pulled out the spinster comment. WTH?!?!?

We're living longer and longer now, for the most part. Who wants to settle early and be unhappy? I'm rather saddened at the truly bitter older women who were married 20-30 years and are now divorced. I can certainly understand their upset, but still, it's really depressing.


Gossipmpm's photo
Wed 02/03/10 10:15 PM
I agree!!

Sometimes the bitterness is overwhelming to me

yea we split but why carry bitterness around

that's one emotion that shows quite clearly to others

I picked myself up. Wished him nothing but the best and went on

if I bottled it and became bitter I think just everyday life would be hell ya know!!

EquusDancer's photo
Wed 02/03/10 10:25 PM

I agree!!

Sometimes the bitterness is overwhelming to me

yea we split but why carry bitterness around

that's one emotion that shows quite clearly to others

I picked myself up. Wished him nothing but the best and went on

if I bottled it and became bitter I think just everyday life would be hell ya know!!


I totally agree!

Previous 1