Topic: your thoughts
mikkie65's photo
Fri 05/14/10 09:53 PM
I am divorced and just ended a relationship in which I was very much in love but it wasn't working. My family (mom) thinks I should be out dating again. I would love to fall in love. I need that bit of spark or butterflies in my tummy for him to be the right guy. My mom says that at my age (44) it won't ever happen and that I should be looking for someone who treats me good and is financially stable. That I'm to old to be wanting that feeling when looking for someone. That I should just settle for a good friend. I disagree with her. I belive that you can fall in love at any age....am I wrong?

thewaterbearer's photo
Fri 05/14/10 10:01 PM
You can fall in love at any age, you just got to make sure in your heart it is the right one, now since you just ended a relationship I would wait awhile before you go looking for the right one, and just make friends for now, in time you will know when it is right no matter what your age, anything is possible

IndnPrncs's photo
Fri 05/14/10 10:05 PM
You're never to old to have to settle.. Never to 'ANYTHING' to have to settle... Hold out for what you want, what makes you happy.. It can be a long lonely road but if your heart wants it then it's worth it in the end...

mikkie65's photo
Fri 05/14/10 10:26 PM
That's exactely what I was thinking. At first I thought that maybe I shouldn't be looking for love because it is to hard if it doesn't work. I thought that maybe at my age I should be looking for that guy that will "take care of me" as my mom put it. Dating at this age is tough...all the rules have changed...

IndnPrncs's photo
Fri 05/14/10 10:28 PM

That's exactely what I was thinking. At first I thought that maybe I shouldn't be looking for love because it is to hard if it doesn't work. I thought that maybe at my age I should be looking for that guy that will "take care of me" as my mom put it. Dating at this age is tough...all the rules have changed...



What never changes is the value we put on ourselves.. Believe me I listened to Mom when I got married and well love her but she was sooooooooooo wrong!!!

rla2010's photo
Fri 05/14/10 10:36 PM
just came through a long term friendship that turned into something more (and less) than friendship. my advice is to tell yourself 'i love me' and let it sink in for days and weeks. it sounds like a person believing love is possible is who you want to be. - nice, naive, would rather get hurt than give up

mikkie65's photo
Fri 05/14/10 10:36 PM
....my mom doesn't believe in love. I do, strongly. I also belive that there has to be some type of attraction to the other person...butterflies in my tummy kind of feelings

IndnPrncs's photo
Fri 05/14/10 10:41 PM

....my mom doesn't believe in love. I do, strongly. I also belive that there has to be some type of attraction to the other person...butterflies in my tummy kind of feelings



I grew up knowing that one always loves more than the other.. Knowing the the women usually run the relationship but what I want for me is something that is a compromise for us both, to love each other with the same passion and faith... I've been single for a long time and may be for the rest of my life but I'm ok with that b/c I'm not ok with settling...

Mikkie, no offense but 'forget' your mom.. You will not be truly happy unless you find what makes you truly happy.. Sure there are some things we should consider overlooking b/c some things are superficial but the things that mean a lot to us we must no accept less than what we need/want...

mikkie65's photo
Fri 05/14/10 10:50 PM
I thought about what she said a lot and came to the conclussion that I am NOT taking her advice. I would rather be single than being in a false relationship

IndnPrncs's photo
Fri 05/14/10 10:52 PM

I thought about what she said a lot and came to the conclussion that I am NOT taking her advice. I would rather be single than being in a false relationship



:thumbsup:

freeonthree's photo
Fri 05/14/10 11:09 PM
You could easily fall in love again, but don't worry about it. Just enjoy your friends, and if one of them is right for you, it will work itself out. Personally, I fel that if two people want to be together, they should be, but I don't think being married makes it any better. If anything, it just makes it more difficult to seperate, in case it doesn't work out. Dennis

msharmony's photo
Sat 05/15/10 12:44 AM

I am divorced and just ended a relationship in which I was very much in love but it wasn't working. My family (mom) thinks I should be out dating again. I would love to fall in love. I need that bit of spark or butterflies in my tummy for him to be the right guy. My mom says that at my age (44) it won't ever happen and that I should be looking for someone who treats me good and is financially stable. That I'm to old to be wanting that feeling when looking for someone. That I should just settle for a good friend. I disagree with her. I belive that you can fall in love at any age....am I wrong?



I believe you can fall in love at any age,, I just believe as we get older we have to be more realistic about how far that tingle will take a commitment,,,,,,or how quickly it happens,,,nothing wrong with finding those good friends,,some 'tingle' can happen there just as easily as anyplace else...

s1owhand's photo
Sat 05/15/10 03:09 AM
there is no reason why you should not have BOTH.

one can fall in love at any age. it is a documented fact.
also, you can fall in love with someone who is stable,
secure, level-headed, fun, financially sound, healthy,
artistic, kind, smart and incredibly sexy.

bigsmile

your can have it all. but the most important quality is
kindness. fall in love with someone kind, fun, sexy and smart.

twinight's photo
Sat 05/15/10 08:09 AM
Hay I think its great you have not been gadded my your mums out look.
So many people as they get older start talking negatively about there chances and what they can expect and all that.
It’s really just down to you,
If you settle then you have to except you settled.
If you stay true to what you want then if you succeed or fail it’s down to you.
The risks are really the same settling means you will have someone to share moments with, but not a true connection, Staying true means you maybe alone forever or you may find that tingle, that spark we all hunt for Is the chance with the risk
Only really thing I would say is if you settle and then find the one what then?
I personally will stay true to myself, yes I may never find what I’m hoping to find but in the end its that chance that keeps me going!


Jeremysg's photo
Sat 05/15/10 11:48 AM
No she is wrong you reap what you sew, if you put love out there it will come back, you mother gives you any crap just tell her 40s are the new 20s.:banana: rofl :banana:

unsure's photo
Sat 05/15/10 03:16 PM
Sometimes I wonder if our parents settled? I truly believe that they were so into being parents that they didn't focus on a relationship. Plus IF our parents ended up in a divorce, they were always looking for someone who could take care of them.
Whatever happened to your parents telling you to stand on your own two feet? I remember when I was younger, my mom always told me to go for money. Now that my mom realizes that I don't NEED a man in my life, she would like to see me be with someone for company.
To answer your question...I think anyone can fall IN love at any age. You just have to be open and willing to let yourself fall. I think you need to be free of all past feelings for anyone though, take some time for YOU!!
Good Luck flowerforyou

sweetsimplesassy's photo
Sat 05/15/10 09:18 PM
falling in love isnt an age thing, but the tingly butterfly affect is also unrealistic, if thats what you go by in deciding to date a guy or not. You may be missing out on the opportunity to fall in love with a great guy if thats what you are looking for as your sign.

Goofball73's photo
Wed 05/19/10 07:42 PM
It amazes me how family (even parents) still want to tell us (when we are adults) what they feel is best for us. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the advice and the love and care they have. But you have to live your life the way that YOU want to. Trust me. You can't make everyone happy. I tried that once, and it nearly killed me, lol.

Anyways, I was watching the movie UP about two weeks ago. Yes, it is a kids film, and it is funny. However, I was reminded of what true love really is all about. The boy and girl from the beginning of the movie became best friends, then they married, went through life together (all the ups and downs) but through it all, they loved one another. Funny how an animated film can remind you of something like that. Alot of people don't feel you can ever have love like those two did. I disagree. If you paid attention to the film, then you understood how and why they stayed together. When he is looking at her scrap book, and he looks at the things that she wanted to section, it was all pictures of him and her. It didn't matter what they did. All that mattered was that they were together.

What good is having a person who is financially stable if you don't really want to be with that person? What good is having a friend if that friendship won't develop into something more? Sorry, but your Mom sounds vindictive about love, and while she may think she knows what is best for you, truth is happiness is found by doing what you feel lead to do. What you believe in....ya know what I am saying?

Ok, so I have been sappy and now I must end this. I wish you luck. And don't allow someone to tell you something doesn't exist. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there.

newarkjw's photo
Wed 05/19/10 08:01 PM
Edited by newarkjw on Wed 05/19/10 08:01 PM
Damn! Goofs got his Dr. Phil hat on today...laugh

Goofball73's photo
Wed 05/19/10 08:18 PM
laugh laugh laugh

Trust me....I hate doing it. Damn morals! laugh laugh