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| Topic: All We've Become | |
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Edited by
FearandLoathing
on
Sun 06/06/10 02:52 AM
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The beat reverberates in my head,
Like a minnow in a mellow stream, Ticking like a shallow bellow of hate, To tame the mainstream bait of what we make, Sake, for hallow wake, and forgive sake, Shake, we break, hello, peaceful berate, Forsaken past taken raping the making of the packing, Shaking, the baby, break the maybe, and replace the sanctity, Like a drone possessed by the melt down of the proximity drone, Bake and stake, simulate the replacing rate of triangulated mating, Save the place because it is all we bait because that is what the minority stipulates, Brake, and shake, hoping for what we take, but always say, pray, God forgave, Forsaken past taken raping the making of the packing, Shaking, the baby, break the maybe, and replace the sanctity, The compose shows what we hold together full-fold and in complete control, We head the same blow with a shallow bow and keep-sake mold break the toe, Shape the throne from the hold and beat the completly whole to take the glow, The light breaks the show and makes the blow to take the call in a sense we all know, Forsaken past taken raping the making of the packing, Shaking, the baby, break the maybe, and replace the sanctity, Forsaken past taken raping the making of the packing, Shaking, the baby, break the maybe, and replace the sanctity, Forsaken and completly shaking with a sense of breaking the capitivity we've become, Like a prison to a baby just born, shaking and hating and raping all that we've become, All that we've become, All that we've become... |
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Brava! Brava!
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"Bake and stake, simulate the replacing rate of triangulated mating,"
Win. Very well done, man. A very eerily mellow start for a poem that proceeds to jab you in the soul 80 times. Much enjoyed. |
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Edited by
RowBaby
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Sun 06/06/10 10:28 AM
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I think it is very emotional and special. I enjoyed reading it Fear
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Thank you very much, everyone.
 
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Edited by
Shasta1
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Tue 06/15/10 12:58 AM
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Something of it reminds me of TsElliot.
I don't know what yet esp in the beginning. If you're not acquainted with his work, think you would like it. The more you read him, the more his depth. |
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The beat reverberates in my head, Like a minnow in a mellow stream, Ticking like a shallow bellow of hate, To tame the mainstream bait of what we make, Sake, for hallow wake, and forgive sake, Shake, we break, hello, peaceful berate, Forsaken past taken raping the making of the packing, Shaking, the baby, break the maybe, and replace the sanctity, Like a drone possessed by the melt down of the proximity drone, Bake and stake, simulate the replacing rate of triangulated mating, Save the place because it is all we bait because that is what the minority stipulates, Brake, and shake, hoping for what we take, but always say, pray, God forgave, Forsaken past taken raping the making of the packing, Shaking, the baby, break the maybe, and replace the sanctity, The compose shows what we hold together full-fold and in complete control, We head the same blow with a shallow bow and keep-sake mold break the toe, Shape the throne from the hold and beat the completly whole to take the glow, The light breaks the show and makes the blow to take the call in a sense we all know, Forsaken past taken raping the making of the packing, Shaking, the baby, break the maybe, and replace the sanctity, Forsaken past taken raping the making of the packing, Shaking, the baby, break the maybe, and replace the sanctity, Forsaken and completly shaking with a sense of breaking the capitivity we've become, Like a prison to a baby just born, shaking and hating and raping all that we've become, All that we've become, All that we've become... great write....xoxo |
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Loved it.
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Thanks, haha, I really didn't care for this one...I'm a perfectionist, haha!
But really, thank you, awesome that you enjoyed it. |
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