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| Topic: How long distance dating is a gamble now | |
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Tue 07/20/10 10:19 PM
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There are always people say, that "do what your heart tells you to do" or "if you like someone, just move there" and so on.
Ok, so let's go back to planet Earth now and be realistic. Probably 3-4 years ago, or before, it wasn't such a hassle really. You liked someone 3-4 states away you moved there and tried to have a life. Getting a "whatever job" for a starters, was no problem. Things have changed and jobs are not so easily available anymore. You can't just move around anymore, otherwise you will be risking a lot. Nowadays, getting a job is like playing the lottery. Your chances are probably 10:1, or states which still have more job opportunities..you are probably still around 5:1, meaning that at least 5 people are competing for each job opening and you gonna need a lot of luck. The only ways possible would be to have a job ready - meaning, that you got a sure-thing place to go, when you move to someone, you found to be worthy to keep. The other way is, that one of them has enough wealth to keep the other around if he or she can't get a job, and that would be a rare thing now..especially off a dating site. You also got to be very sure if it's gonna work out. If you ask me, there are no guarantees like that anyway..and most likely what's gonna happen is that you gonna end up unemployed and to top it off, your relationship didn't work out, so it is one thing not having a job, but by moving somewhere and giving up a location - possibly even a job- you are not only gonna risk of your relationship not working out, but you also lost whatever you had before, save the stuff you might have moved with you. And to have the "other" type of long distance relationship, when you only get to see someone 2-3 times a year..or let it be once a month - if you ask me - that's not a relationship at all. That is no different than being single and having a date here and there, except the LDR cost more and offers less freedom. So there you have it, my thoughts for the night. |
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Nothing is guaranteed....anything good is worth taking a risk for. Life without risk is not really living.
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i would never move from here no matter what its a photographers dream here tons of slide shows on youtube
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Tue 07/20/10 10:44 PM
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Nothing is guaranteed....anything good is worth taking a risk for. Life without risk is not really living. I wouldn't call it a "risk" Many people risk a lot when they get into a relationship and that's normal. Taking a risk, would be trying out something new and not knowing if it's gonna work or not. It is not "taking a risk" when someone gives up his job, moves somewhere else into the uncertainty and possible unemployment, while there are bills to pay. Risk taking comes with a certain percentage of having a chance of winning too. When someone gives up his only job and sells off whatever he had, just to move to someone who is possibly also struggling, it's not risk, it's stupidity and being irresponsible. |
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Nothing is guaranteed....anything good is worth taking a risk for. Life without risk is not really living. I wouldn't call it a "risk" Many people risk a lot when they get into a relationship and that's normal. Taking a risk, would be trying out something new and not knowing if it's gonna work or not. It is not "taking a risk" when someone gives up his job, moves somewhere else into the uncertainty and possible unemployment, while there are bills to pay. Risk taking comes with a certain percentage of having a chance of winning too. When someone gives up his only job and sells off whatever he had, just to move to someone who is possibly also struggling, it's not risk, it's stupidity and being irresponsible. I'm walking (driving) away from here and moving..leaving it all behind. I'm doing it for me, not meeting up with anyone..I'm not stupid! I'm taking a risk to be where I want to be. **** responsibility..I'd rather be happy than responsible. My needs are simple..I'd rather be happy with 'less' than unhappy with 'more'! |
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Yes it is hard to have a LDR.... I realize it is your opinion that when you don't see each all the time, "isn't a relationship" but do you feel that is the way a person who joins the military and gets shipped out or an OTR trucker isn't in a relationship because of the time they are apart?
Risk taking comes with a certain percentage of having a chance of winning too. When someone gives up his only job and sells off whatever he had, just to move to someone who is possibly also struggling, it's not risk, it's stupidity and being irresponsible. And what about when it works? That is better than winning the lottery...(nobody bugging you for money  )
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Everything is a risk and life is full of them I agree with Eileena9 on this one.
If it works awesome if it doesn't well at least you learned something right? |
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*Comes in , Waves Hello , Reads post then walks out*
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Eileen and I have put our hearts on the line. It could be me, but I think thats more of a risk than money, cars, houses, or jobs.
In the beginning, both of us were afraid, but as time has passed, both of us know what we have. It truly does feel like winning the lottery, and I tell her all the time how blessed I am. |
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Eileen and I have put our hearts on the line. It could be me, but I think thats more of a risk than money, cars, houses, or jobs. In the beginning, both of us were afraid, but as time has passed, both of us know what we have. It truly does feel like winning the lottery, and I tell her all the time how blessed I am. Aw.. I love to hear success stories! You 2 are very lucky to have a meet each other and have each other by your side. 
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Eileen and I have put our hearts on the line. It could be me, but I think thats more of a risk than money, cars, houses, or jobs. In the beginning, both of us were afraid, but as time has passed, both of us know what we have. It truly does feel like winning the lottery, and I tell her all the time how blessed I am.     
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Eileen and I have put our hearts on the line. It could be me, but I think thats more of a risk than money, cars, houses, or jobs. In the beginning, both of us were afraid, but as time has passed, both of us know what we have. It truly does feel like winning the lottery, and I tell her all the time how blessed I am. Aw.. I love to hear success stories! You 2 are very lucky to have a meet each other and have each other by your side. You DON'T have to have money to be rich What Capt and Eileen have , That makes them rich
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You can still follow your heart, and not lose. If she loves you, and you go to a McDonald's burgerflap job from being a Big Executive in Toronto, then your lowered earning potential will be ignored.
Once there, and she loves you, because you both listened to other people on this website who kept saying "love will find a way", and you can't get a job, don't despair. If the love was really there, she'll support you for life. You seem to be completely obsessed with risk. "Risk... risking... riskotec... risking..." Remember, a risk is a gamble: Those who don't gamble, or don't buy a ticket, never win. "Aki mer, az nyer." And what happens when you both are there in south Arizona or northwest Georgia, jobless, penniless, with a heart condition and a beergut? Then you're screwed. You'll wish you'd still be back in the socialist paradise of the Canadian workers, and Hungarian workers, and be kept by the state: fed, housed, clothed, and your diseases taken care of. Heck, even your funeral will be paid for by the state if you play you cards just so. So if you think that that risk of losing free medical service is beyond the tolerance level of your risk tolerance, then talk her into moving to Toronto. The smog will kill you, the traffic will kill you, the cops will kill you, the pushers will kill you, the weather will kill you, the racial tensions will kill you, your children will kill you, your parents will kill you, but still, it's a hundred times better than living in the 'States. You could even travel with a Canadian passport, and not face the barrage of bullets that speed toward you like when you travel with a USA passport. In some badder parts of the world. |
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I'm walking (driving) away from here and moving..leaving it all behind. I'm doing it for me, not meeting up with anyone..I'm not stupid! I'm taking a risk to be where I want to be. Haha!! I did the same 3 months ago. I escaped from Toronto to London, Ontario. The smog, the s*it that goes on in there is abhorable. Even the hores are getting up, honorable. |
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I love my life, job, home and the fact that all my friends and family are here. I don't think there's a guy on this planet that I would move for. Sorry guys.
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For a romantic like me, the situation in question is a no brainer.
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Chat Global-Date Local.
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Chat Global-Date Local. ditto... 
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There are always people say, that "do what your heart tells you to do" or "if you like someone, just move there" and so on. Ok, so let's go back to planet Earth now and be realistic. Probably 3-4 years ago, or before, it wasn't such a hassle really. You liked someone 3-4 states away you moved there and tried to have a life. Getting a "whatever job" for a starters, was no problem. Things have changed and jobs are not so easily available anymore. You can't just move around anymore, otherwise you will be risking a lot. Nowadays, getting a job is like playing the lottery. Your chances are probably 10:1, or states which still have more job opportunities..you are probably still around 5:1, meaning that at least 5 people are competing for each job opening and you gonna need a lot of luck. The only ways possible would be to have a job ready - meaning, that you got a sure-thing place to go, when you move to someone, you found to be worthy to keep. The other way is, that one of them has enough wealth to keep the other around if he or she can't get a job, and that would be a rare thing now..especially off a dating site. You also got to be very sure if it's gonna work out. If you ask me, there are no guarantees like that anyway..and most likely what's gonna happen is that you gonna end up unemployed and to top it off, your relationship didn't work out, so it is one thing not having a job, but by moving somewhere and giving up a location - possibly even a job- you are not only gonna risk of your relationship not working out, but you also lost whatever you had before, save the stuff you might have moved with you. And to have the "other" type of long distance relationship, when you only get to see someone 2-3 times a year..or let it be once a month - if you ask me - that's not a relationship at all. That is no different than being single and having a date here and there, except the LDR cost more and offers less freedom. So there you have it, my thoughts for the night. OMG.  For once I totally GET your post AND further more, and even more shocking, I TOTALLY agree. I live in CO. Our UI rate is @ 8% for May and June. Jury's still out for July.   No one in their right mind would relocate for me at this time.  Not that I'm asking ......... Just sayin.  |
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Eileen and I have put our hearts on the line. It could be me, but I think thats more of a risk than money, cars, houses, or jobs. In the beginning, both of us were afraid, but as time has passed, both of us know what we have. It truly does feel like winning the lottery, and I tell her all the time how blessed I am. Aw.. I love to hear success stories! You 2 are very lucky to have a meet each other and have each other by your side. You DON'T have to have money to be rich What Capt and Eileen have , That makes them rich Try paying with that in Stop&Shop or tell that to the IRS or the electric when they send the bills. Obviously most people here are biased. If you got internet and posting away, paying for the mobile service and so on, must be holding onto a job. Wait until you loose it. The problem is, that those who lost it already, they can't come here and tell you how it is, since many most likely given up on dating, since it's not No1 priority anymore, or perhaps they don't have the money to pay for Internet in the first place, because they are struggling to pay their rent. But as usual, if you don't hear about it, it must have never happened, it doesn't exist. |
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