They scare me to only because it makes me feel they aren't capable of having a relationship for a long amount of time. I'd like a guy that is willing to get married but knows we don't have to.

Everybody is crying to me about the damn marriage, I hear nothing but bad bad bad.. I have never been married and I never had kids.

Here is the deal.

The majority of the population on this planet are married, you like it or not. Most of them have kids, you like it or not. Most are also happy you like it or not.

Of course, we won't hear about them, even though they are the majority, since they wouldn't be on a dating site.

So anyone reading this..just take it as it is..it's dissatisfied, divorced singles who continuously make it look like the marriage and/or having kids is the end of the world, worse than hell itself.

..Meanwhile the 9/8th of the world population continues to live happily married ever after, and the continuous bashing of marriage and family leaves a mark by making any other singles question themselves, whether they would making a good decision by getting married or to have kids.

Hi Joy!

Agreed There is no rhyme or reason why people are successful or why they divorce. The amount of time we know someone is not always the key. Above all else, I look for people skills, problem solving skills and respect. If we vibe in those areas then we have the best chance for a lifetime together.

"They" say relationships are hard work - and I say "NO" - with the right person relationships are effortless. Everyone has hurdles but HOW we face those problems and solve them is the benchmark of a solid relationship. Reduce mountains into molehills and move forward.

As long as I don't fall in love with a drama king then I will be fine.

I don't understand that if you're so in love with someone, why doesn't their word count?

Example; If someone says, "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you."

You can't trust them and take them for their word until you're married? They have to "declare their commitment" thru a cermony that realistically doesn't have a very good success rate.

You can't really love someone until you trust them.

~ Bottom line.

Well i have never been married i don't plan on it and i am pregnant so does this make me the spawn of satan?

I liked being married

I loved it the first time

not so much the second,,(wrong person)

yes of course

That's your own option. You don't get married then you won't, none of my business.

I'm just telling all those people who are reading this thread, that take this as the opinion of singles on a website.

This "marriage is hell" topic comes up at least once a day, especially here on mingle.

I agree that trust is major; however, if he isn't willing to step up then he is not the guy for me. I want to meet someone that has the same goals.

I don't spend any time worrying about this anyway. Life is too short with too much to accomplish.

Considering every war fought in the last decade has been because of religion...I would have to say it matters pretty highly to a great number of people.

I think when you find that someone special making a lifetime commetment to one another is a very magical thing.

So is saying "i love you" that's supposed to be magical and eternal but it's not..

I've known a LOT of married people in my life, and less than 10% of them were what I would call "happy." Resigned, chagrined, beaten down, indoctrinated, reluctantly accepting of their fates, etc., but not happy. Consider the divorce rate is something like 50% and then consider the number who stay married due to "obligations," who would prefer to get the hell out of there if they believed it was at all possible.

Are you familiar with the Ann Landers survey of some years back? She asked her readers who had kids if they would do it over again, given the chance. She was shocked when something like 75% of the replies said they would never have had kids if given a chance to do things over.

I've been married and would never do it again. And I never had kids because I had glimpses of the whole "parental" thing when I was younger and dated women who had kids.

It's preventative medicine, if anything, for me.

I would absolutely still get married for love. For me, it is not about the possible benefits that you get from it.

Others may find it just to be a piece of paper, which works for them. I do know that I would want to be sure that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him if I chose to get married.

Wow, there are a lot of bitter people here. That's pretty sad.

I'm sorry marriage didn't work out for so many of you, but that doesn't mean it's a horrible thing. I know many happy married couples. My parents just recently celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary and I have several friends whose parents are still married as well. Obviously it doesn't work for some, but it works well for others.

Benefits? Such as having someone to snuggle with every night?

what I meant by benefits would be financial gain, social circles...things of that nature.

having someone to snuggle with every night would be amazing

My parents were married for 45 years and only death ended the relationship. They never even thought of divorcing ever and loved each other to the last second.
They were not married for artificial benefits such as money and wealth so I see them as a good example that it can work, as long as both love each other mutually.

Marriage is the way you find out if the other person is telling the truth.

It is easy to say, "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you" when life is pleasant, but life isn't always pleasant.

Plenty of times a woman has heard "I love you" coming from a man; then as soon as trouble comes (such as an unexpected pregnancy) the man disappears.