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Topic: Emotional Infidelity & Mental Adultery!
MyLastGroom's photo
Sun 11/07/10 12:29 AM
She is married 15yrs to same guy and they have 3 kids. She confesses to having no emotional feelings whatsoever during all the years of sex with her hubby. She always imagined her high school sweetheart incarnating hubby if at all she wanted to "enjoy" sex with hubby. She get's energized to ecstasy when this happens and would become a tigress in the bedroom for the duration. Is that emotional infidelity?

A different hubby confesses to having this sexual crush on a popular Hollywood star. He sees her wife's face transform to the actress during coitus and that's how his libido outlasts viagra power. Mental adultery?

Of course both marriages crumbled and the couples are back to the "market"

msharmony's photo
Sun 11/07/10 12:34 AM

She is married 15yrs to same guy and they have 3 kids. She confesses to having no emotional feelings whatsoever during all the years of sex with her hubby. She always imagined her high school sweetheart incarnating hubby if at all she wanted to "enjoy" sex with hubby. She get's energized to ecstasy when this happens and would become a tigress in the bedroom for the duration. Is that emotional infidelity?

A different hubby confesses to having this sexual crush on a popular Hollywood star. He sees her wife's face transform to the actress during coitus and that's how his libido outlasts viagra power. Mental adultery?

Of course both marriages crumbled and the couples are back to the "market"



from a strictly 'christian' point of view, thinking of another is having lust in ones heart already,,,,

from a humane point of view, there is very little in a marriage that is not sexually acceptable if it pleases both parties and harms noone

no photo
Sun 11/07/10 12:41 AM
is this from "devil's advocate"? pachino was awesome in that one

RKISIT's photo
Sun 11/07/10 12:45 AM
whatever happened to the way it use to be



First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the empty skies, my love,
To the dark and the empty skies.

The first time ever I kissed your mouth
And felt your heart beat close to mine
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command, my love
That was there at my command.

And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last till the end of time my love
It would last till the end of time my love

The first time ever I saw your face, your face,
your face, your face


MyLastGroom's photo
Sun 11/07/10 12:48 AM


She is married 15yrs to same guy and they have 3 kids. She confesses to having no emotional feelings whatsoever during all the years of sex with her hubby. She always imagined her high school sweetheart incarnating hubby if at all she wanted to "enjoy" sex with hubby. She get's energized to ecstasy when this happens and would become a tigress in the bedroom for the duration. Is that emotional infidelity?

A different hubby confesses to having this sexual crush on a popular Hollywood star. He sees her wife's face transform to the actress during coitus and that's how his libido outlasts viagra power. Mental adultery?

Of course both marriages crumbled and the couples are back to the "market"
[/quote

from a strictly 'christian' point of view, thinking of another is having lust in ones heart already,,,,

from a humane point of view, there is very little in a marriage that is not sexually acceptable if it pleases both parties and harms noone



Thanks for your thought-provoking response.1. You mean having sexual fantasies of another means the intent is established - as Christians believe. Well, don't you think in law that will be kind of lopsided to condemn a person based on criminal intent alone? In criminal law, you can't convict unless the mens rea (criminal intent) is followed by the actus reus (criminal act) - unless you mean to say the fantasy is the mens rea while the sexual act with the spouse can be reasoned as the criminal act with the imagined fella. Kudos
How about watching porn - how would u apply this principle?
2. yes, I agree with you that a marriage lacking a sex altar should be dissolved.

LilOlMeFromSD's photo
Sun 11/07/10 12:48 AM
If two people are truly in love (using 'love' in it's purest sense of the word) then there is no reason for these fantasies of others.


A friend told me the other day, "Everything man(kind) does is either an expression of love or a cry for love." It's as simple as that. If love is being used in its purest form, then emotional infidelity and mental adultery don't exist, right?

Of course, if these couples were truly in 'love', there would be no need or desire to fantasize about anyone else.

MyLastGroom's photo
Sun 11/07/10 01:07 AM

If two people are truly in love (using 'love' in it's purest sense of the word) then there is no reason for these fantasies of others.


A friend told me the other day, "Everything man(kind) does is either an expression of love or a cry for love." It's as simple as that. If love is being used in its purest form, then emotional infidelity and mental adultery don't exist, right?

Of course, if these couples were truly in 'love', there would be no need or desire to fantasize about anyone else.



yep...yours is a perfect submission. I totally agree. However, while "perfect love" is the ideal, reality is that we live in an imperfect world where the true meaning of love is lost in the gamut. What then?

no photo
Sun 11/07/10 01:18 AM
balance my friend. what you think is an imperfect world is actually quite balanced. indeed one need not search long or hard to find a chitty relationship. yet each and everyone of us knows of a relationship that is so perfect, it outshines the bad ones many times over. this relationship is the one that gives us the hope that no matter how many times we have tried and failed to have one like it, we continue on the quest to find the one true love we can call our own.

LilOlMeFromSD's photo
Sun 11/07/10 01:34 AM


If two people are truly in love (using 'love' in it's purest sense of the word) then there is no reason for these fantasies of others.


A friend told me the other day, "Everything man(kind) does is either an expression of love or a cry for love." It's as simple as that. If love is being used in its purest form, then emotional infidelity and mental adultery don't exist, right?

Of course, if these couples were truly in 'love', there would be no need or desire to fantasize about anyone else.



yep...yours is a perfect submission. I totally agree. However, while "perfect love" is the ideal, reality is that we live in an imperfect world where the true meaning of love is lost in the gamut. What then?


The true meaning of love is never lost. You say, "Reality is that we live in an imperfect world." I say, "Reality is that I live in a perfect world."

It's all in how you look at it, MLG. Love is Unconditional. It's not Hollywood, it's not abusive, it's not racist, and it's not about possessions.

It IS to accept all that is around you (in your reality) just the way it is. You can alter your reality (if you don't like it) but you can't alter Love. You can walk away from Love or attempt to convince the world that something else is love but that doesn't last for long.

For example, you can have sex and call it love...but, that's not love. You can love your abusive partner but they are not in love with you because the abuse is present....that person has drifted away from love by believing 'to control or lash out at another' is love. But, surely, you know that's not love, that's an abuse of power.

Love is about accepting that there is a place for everyone/everything and that each of these things/people/etc. exist in the perfect place at the perfect moment.

So, if YOU think that you live in an imperfect world, when do you think you will fall back into love again?

LoveAlina's photo
Sun 11/07/10 02:11 AM
"Is that emotional infidelity"? Yes it is emotional infidelity, and it can be devastating to a person, marriage or partnership as physical intimacy or unfaithfulness - if not more so, however most people don’t plan to be emotionally unfaithful until it becomes a definite emotional bond.

The best thing to do to avoid being involved with this type of situation is to trust and be honest with your partner, remind yourselves what bought you both together. Do fun and exciting things, and let's not forget romance never dies, find ways to romance each other.

Alina




fireflysgirl's photo
Sun 11/07/10 06:24 AM

balance my friend. what you think is an imperfect world is actually quite balanced. indeed one need not search long or hard to find a chitty relationship. yet each and everyone of us knows of a relationship that is so perfect, it outshines the bad ones many times over. this relationship is the one that gives us the hope that no matter how many times we have tried and failed to have one like it, we continue on the quest to find the one true love we can call our own.


^this & when you find "the one", no one else compares and fantasy land has no place because reality is not dull! You mentioned both relationships ended, so what does that tell you?

TxsGal3333's photo
Sun 11/07/10 06:59 AM
If one truly finds the one they are in-love with then fantasizing about another would not be a issue for it would not even imply. Those that fantasize about someone else when they are with another is not truly happy.

When you look into anothers eyes and the only person you see is the one standing before you then you know your where you are truly meant to be..... Fantasy to some but reality to others.

Only those that truly know how to love will find that kind of love.... :heart:

no photo
Sun 11/07/10 07:10 AM

is this from "devil's advocate"? pachino was awesome in that one


ya I kinda wondered where this guy gets this stuff

either scenario takes not only a vivid imagination , but a detachment from reality that is borderline mental illness - jmho

TxsGal3333's photo
Sun 11/07/10 08:43 AM


is this from "devil's advocate"? pachino was awesome in that one


ya I kinda wondered where this guy gets this stuff

either scenario takes not only a vivid imagination , but a detachment from reality that is borderline mental illness - jmho


Does it really matter where or from whom the questions come from as long as they in fact give others something to think about instead. whoa

The mind is a beautiful thing and knowledge is power. Regardless of the knowledge when one continues to seek it keeps the mind alive.... bigsmile

no photo
Sun 11/07/10 08:48 AM
I am entitled to my opinion, and yes I do think it matters becasue I think the OP is prolly a troll post anyway, so it's kind of a w/e

you can like it & that's fine

but I can see things my way and that's fine toowhoa

I guess I'm not quite that desparate for things to think aboutwhoa rofl

TxsGal3333's photo
Sun 11/07/10 08:57 AM
True all is allowed and opinion as long as it does not in fact go against the Forum Rules......... whoa



1) Do not attack/slam/insult others. You can discuss the message or topic, but not the messenger - NO EXCEPTIONS. If you are attacked by another user, use the Report Post link within that post. If you reciprocate instead, YOU will also be subject to the same consequences as the attacker. Defending yourself, defending a friend, etc. are NOT excuses. Violations of this rule are taken very seriously and may result in being banned without warning!

no photo
Sun 11/07/10 09:05 AM

True all is allowed and opinion as long as it does not in fact go against the Forum Rules......... whoa



1) Do not attack/slam/insult others. You can discuss the message or topic, but not the messenger - NO EXCEPTIONS. If you are attacked by another user, use the Report Post link within that post. If you reciprocate instead, YOU will also be subject to the same consequences as the attacker. Defending yourself, defending a friend, etc. are NOT excuses. Violations of this rule are taken very seriously and may result in being banned without warning!


is asking where the idea for a post came from an attack on the op?

TxsGal3333's photo
Sun 11/07/10 09:11 AM
To answer your question esebulldog. No it is not but as the Forum Rules sight insults towards another member is.

no photo
Sun 11/07/10 09:29 AM
I don't think anyone attacked anyone, but I do feel threatened now


markecephus's photo
Sun 11/07/10 10:06 AM

Derailing a topic, questioning the validity of another member on the forum boards is, most definitely violating site rules. Please return to the topic.

Thanks.

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