by: Victoria Carrella

While living apart is not your ideal way to have a relationship, sometimes that is something that is out of your control. If this happens to be your situation then you need to make the most of a rough patch in your relationship. Maintaining your relationship is difficult even if you are living together, living a long distance from each other just adds a whole other dimension to it.

Long distance relationships require a lot of trust from both partners. Being faithful is the key to keeping a relationship alive. If you find the need to be unfaithful then you should really reevaluate the relationship. Don't hurt someone just because you have needs they are unable to fulfill at the moment. If your needs are that important then tell them. There might be a way for you to see each other if you just work at it.

Feeling lonely is one of the key factors that can cause a long distance relationship to end. Just hearing the other person's voice can help chase away those lonely feelings. Plan a time to talk often, without interruptions so that you can really pay attention to your partner. Also a phone call out of the blue just to say "I'm thinking of you" can also make your partners day.

In society today just about everyone has a computer and of course if they have a computer they have internet. Find time to spend together that doesn't always involve the phone. There are plenty of things you can do together that are fun such as playing an online game together. Maybe the two of you enjoy cards, scrabble or one of those multiplayer online gaming communities. Whatever it is that excited the two of you, do it! Having fun together, while being apart is key to maintaining your relationship.

Another great thing that you can do over the internet is to get a webcam. This way the two of you can still really see each other. Seeing the expressions on your loved ones face can be just the thing you need to keep going.

Long distance relationships are hard but making them last is possible if you both are willing to work at it. Maintaining your long distance relationship will take a little more effort but you will reap the rewards of it soon enough if you just stick with it and dedicate yourself to making it last....


"true or false"?
"agree or disagree"?

I quit taking advice from people giving me advice years ago, and it is surprisingly working out quite well...my suggestion? Do the same before Mingle swallows your soul!

lol.....

Look, Mingle already swallowed my soul...I'm just trying to help out.

People seem to make it work sometimes. As far as the webcam is concerned I doubt the use of it is to see one anothers smiling face but I digress. Sure would beat living with them........

Yes, they can work. It all depends on the people. Would they work for everyone? No. But like so many have said in other threads, you have to be willing to relocate eventually or its pretty pointless. I'm in one myself and would I move, for sure, I don't have a chain anchoring me to the ground here, but she's moving up here once the school years over for her kids. People say you can't get to know someone properly long distance, I was married 10yrs and even after 10yrs I still didn't know my exwife. lol Before the internet there wasn't much choice but to meet people locally, I think its cool to have so many more options. I know quite a few people who met their spouse long distance and eventually met and are happily married. I think we've all had our bad experiences online so it does tend to make people wary, which isn't a bad thing.
Its always better to be cautious going into any relationship, be it local or long distance.
You always have to keep in mind, some people are just into online relationships and not actually wanting to meet someone in person. To each their own I say. Do whatever works for you.

Um, didn't this topic already exist? There was some good stuff there.

Personally, I'm the kind of person that will try to make it work, but it takes two to tango. You have to find a way to meet halfway. As has been brought up before, trust is key. Honesty is a prerequisite for trust. An LDR is not for the faint-hearted because it requires discipline and patience. It will test you in a thousand different ways. Even then, the meeting may disappoint you.

Bottom line: If you have commitment issues, don't even think about an LDR.

Long distance relationship is not 4 d boy's but 4 d men, bco'z it's another world entirely, it takes only those that can dance 2 d rhythm of life 2 adapt to it, it takes the fear of God, Care, Trust, self discipline, all this are the secret behind a distance relationship. from thomlerry d great.

I have seen LDR's take good men/women down... There is no special manual how to make these things work. It takes a lot out of two people to keep the love alive. And the light at the end of the tunnel that they will soon be together..... As well as a lot of trust and traveling......

Not everyone is cut out for this kind of relationship... it robs them from being with each other face to face in order to see the real person within....

Then when they do move it still takes time in order for them to know that person the way they thought they knew them.....

this is correct

For sure but there can be deception in any relationship, some people are just that good at it. I know my exwife was. Love can blind you whether its long distance or right in front of your nose. I guess its like anything else in life, sometimes you have to be willing to take the risk. I think any relationship is a crapshoot. For me, so long as the person is willing to seriously move or have me move to give it a shot, I'll take the risk, when you look at it, what is there really to lose? We only live once so may as well go all in once in awhile. lol If it doesn't work out well, just another chapter in the book of life and you move on.

True at times even those you get to see on a daily bases at times pull the wool over ones eyes...But there is a lot more at stake when your talking one of them has to uproot and leave everything their family friends ect.... It is not all that easy..... if you live in the same area then they don't feel as if they gave up everything to be with someone and then it don't work out. The one that moved is the one that is left hanging... unless they are smart enough to make sure they are prepared for those things....

If one has kids how does one choose who moves and leaves their kids behind.... To many times many do not think ahead of all the party's involved for all they see is stars.

If kids are little the one that has custody can not just pick up and leave unless the ex is okay with that.... For in the state of Texas as it is in many states you leave the state where the other parent does not have full access to the kids you could actually have them taken away from you.

It is a tough call and many times both do not think ahead of all the problems then when they finally see reality it hits them like a brick wall....

Definately you're right, if you've got lots of family etc and child custody issues its way way harder. If thats the case, for sure I wouldn't even consider it. I think thats the first thing anyone should look at before even considering a LDR, if it gets to that point, can I and will I move. If the answer to either is no then yeah you shouldnt even think about it. I think most places you have to have the ex's permission even if you do have full custody which I think is how it should be, sadly these days its amazing how many ex's dont care though.
And you're right, too many don't think ahead. They get too caught up in the moment.

but i don't think my hoopie would make it across the country

The part about when you move. That to me is where you really have to work together. No one will ever really know anyone, but moving in weather its a LDR or not will make or brake the relationship. Hopefully, it will make the relationship. One thing I have found out for myself. It's not the trust, or how you may feel about the other or how committed you may be to the other. It's hopping that the one you're with is being honest to themselves in what they want and willing to work together in the relationship.


So, if you really want to find out if the relationship will work out or not. Try moving in together.

Yeppers!....and when the LDR persons are not who they say they are, there's a whole lot of challenges that arise....

imagine having someone travel a gazillion miles to finally be with the one they feel is custom made for them....and when they get there, they are not even remotely similar to who they projected themselves to be.....the person collecting them from the airport waiting, waiting, waiting, having them in their home amongst their people, now have an imposter/ fake 'not who they said they were' person there...what to do?...

The obligation for the other person is huge....someone travelled to them....but they are NOTHING like who they said they were!


HONESTY peoples.....if you are moving to commit to a relationship that will one day be cohabitating...then be freakin honest!...that means warts and all, peoples...all the flaws...otherwise it WILL end in heartache.

Warts But I don't want to show my warts

i think some long distance relationships do work out and some don't, i had one there when i was younger we try to keep it going but it was very hard, so at the end we did what was best and we still talk on yahoo a lot

Funny thing I've found is, failed LDRs often turn into friendships. Not always, but more often than I would have thought.