It drifts into a pointless exercise in semantics at that juncture. If one is stressing the positive, one is also necessarily minimizing the negative. My issue is that this moves more towards wishful thinking and a certain degree of self-delusion than it does to reality, per se.

There is an inherent implication (in the cliche) that full = good and empty = bad. What if the glass is half full of sulphuric acid? Absent finding a productive use for said acid, which I'm sure some people could do, for me, the cliche flip-flops and the empty half of the glass is more "positive" than the full.

And none of it matters anyway. I'm talking about the prevalence of cliches here, and not about attempts to justify or validate the use of those cliches.



Either way, the person still has sickle cell, and whether he/she views it positively or negatively, it doesn't change the underlying fact that the condition is present.

I'm thinking that the people who put "I like to see the glass as half full" in their profiles are trying to say "I like to take a positive view of things" -- but there are better ways to say it than by using a trite and hackneyed cliche which actually only ends up saying "I'm either not creative enough or interested enough to say anything more than what everyone else says."

And I suppose, for most people, none of it matters as long as they've got a good cleavage shot as their profile pic.

No problem. I see it as just shorthand for "There is obviously something wrong with YOU" -- and I don't believe Dating Site Forum Psychologists are generally in any position to make that sort of all-encompassing statement anyway.

Each one of us is the "common denominator" in everything that happens in our own individual lives. How you can extrapolate universal blanket generalities from that seems like sheer laziness to me.

I think this is similar to the whole "everyone is unique bit". At the basic level, we are, but really speaking, with umpteen billion people on this planet, there's going to be plenty of similarities within groups of people. Thoughts, likes, dislikes, politics, religion etc. I don't know of any one truly unique person.

Geesh...I'm trying NOT to look for a mate...Because "It will happen when I least expect it" Yeah sure! LOL

Yes, exactly! I can't tell you how many profiles (OK, it's 13,887,562,803) I've read where there is a line like "I'm unique because I wear shoes that have laces" or something comparably inane.

Part of this is because some sites, in their profile guidelines, will say "Be sure to talk about what makes you unique," and apparently no one has ever run into the word before, so they don't actually know what it means.

I don't know of any one truly unique person, either; I suspect someone like that probably couldn't function well in society.

But there's a real difference between "I'm unique because I put ketchup on my cereal" and "I'm unique because I love my friends and family."

It's not exactly a proactive strategy.

Look, I've had it happen that way -- I'm not looking, and then someone just sort of falls into my lap out of nowhere.

But that's rare, and the more common scenario is I'm not looking and no one is looking for me, either. It's hard to make a lot of progress under those conditions.

So, to sit around, completely convinced that "It will show up as soon as I stop looking" is a little bit like standing on the railroad tracks with your eyes closed because you know the train can't hit you if you don't see it.

Personally I don't care what anybody thinks of my profile.
Most of the people that I am friends with have known me more from the forums and then we started chatting through emails.
To me thats really how you get an insight on what the person is like.Even then you can be very fooled.

Isn't the OP just another bad cliché?
Rather than looking at the situation as half-full, (which it is), he wants us to look at it half-empty, (which it is also).

It's just a difference of attitude. Optimistic? or Pessimistic?.

Be positive.
It's a more attractive quality.

Reflection upon ones self is always healthy. As long as we do it pragmatically there is no harm.
It does no good to ignore our faults and lay all the blame elsewhere.
Nor is it healthy to lay all the blame on ourself.

There must be a million and one reasons why one person leaves another.
That does not mean there is something terrible wrong with either.
What irritates one prospective mate, might be just what another is looking for.

What would be wrong would be trying to change the other person or yourself just to make a fit.
Dragging the relationship on to an inevitable end.
Sometimes people just aren't compatible.

Me, myself, and I hate pretentious people.

Be yourself and one day you will meet the one you're meant to be with.
Be pretentious and they'll never recognize you are their soul mate, or they'll be fooled and think you are when you're not.
They'll either keep on walking by,
or stay just to find the real you later,
and not like what they see.

So, you go ahead and look at your glass half-empty if you choose, and I'll go on looking at mine half-full.

Wrong, I don't WANT anybody to do ANYTHING with it, except discard the whole concept and come up with something more original and informative. I'm just pointing out the problem with trying to "promote" it one way or the other.



Not if it's based solely on inertia, reflex, plagiarism, and an inability to come up with something interesting on one's own. I hardly see any of that as attractive.



Exactly, which is why the whole "the common denominator in all your failed relationships is YOU" mentality is invalid. It avoids the whole introspection angle in favor of "It's always all your fault, you're just a bad person."



Again, which is why "the common denominator in all your failed relationships is YOU" doesn't hold up.



I've been asking myself that question since I started getting into relationships. I still don't have an answer. All I know is, everyone I end up with tries to change me into my opposite.



A lot of that could be avoided if they were honest about what they wanted from Day One.



That's another cliche we need to do away with. Show me some stats in support of that one.

Who decides who we're "meant" to be with? As far as I'm concerned, outside of myself (not the best judge of this sort of thing, in any case), there isn't anyone else QUALIFIED to say who I'm "meant" to be with. "Meant" implies someone or something to determine the meaning -- again, I need more than just a cliche on that.

Hey, I've been myself all along -- and all anyone wants from me is to change me into a cardboard cutout of Ward Cleaver. Is that what's "meant" for me? I don't think so, but I'm not going along with it regardless.



"Soul mate" is another cliche. I'm seeing a pattern here.



OK, have fun with the long walks on the beach while you're at it.

This all sounds very convincing, but you are the one who saw fit to make a topic out of this.


Always!
Noone wants to be with a pessimists.
Haven't you ever heard that a woman looks for confidence in a man?

How can you be confidant with a pessimistic attitude?



Here we agree.



Again, here we agree.



Me too.
Women and men do this,
I guess it's human nature.


Agreed.




Don't give up Lex.
Be confidant.
One day you will find some one your happy with.



I like who I am.
I find it easy to enjoy long walks on the beach, or through the mts., by myself.

If you don't like yourself how can you ever expect to be happy with someone else?

In Mississippi, on the Gulf Coast, the women told me to relax and find myself I need to take long walks on the beach.

They told me, instead of walking east/west or west/east, to walk south.

Right, my topic is based on the premise that cliches are stupid and useless. If you want to dispute my topic by coming in and throwing MORE cliches at me, I think you're just proving my point.

BTW, "I like to see the glass as half empty" is not a cliche. Yet. I've never seen it in a profile. It's just as BAD as a cliche, because it's built on the bones of one.



You say "pessimistic," I say "realistic." Whatever. I have no problems with confidence.



I don't know -- I've never tried to change any of my partners, other than to get them to understand why I don't want them trying to change me.

I mean, here's the thing -- if I like someone, if I like them the way they are, if I like them enough that I WANT a relationship with them, then it seems to me that there's no point in my trying to change them. If I felt they needed changing, I would avoid a relationship.

Apparently, I'm the only one who thinks this way.



I did, but she has/had a lot of other issues, and we've gone into this weird cycling in-and-out relationship for the past 10 years. Nobody else interests me. Not saying I wouldn't like to meet someone else -- I would! -- but it's not going to happen the way things are now.



I like who you are, too. You're not afraid to say what's on your mind.

And, hey, I like myself too. A lot. Too much, some people think. (Not my problem!)

It isn't about liking myself, and it isn't about confidence. It's about finding someone who appeals to me, somebody who interests me, someone who can talk about something beyond babies and booze. I don't run into those people.

Keep on Trucking Lex you'll be fine.

Peace brother!

JMO but;

To find another woman, one needs let go of the present one.

In the past, I wouldn't get out of one relationship unless I had another one I could step right into.

Not one of 'em ever lived up to the standards of my fantasy woman.

hi lex, merry christmas


i can tell you of all the profiles that i've read, there are only a small handful who stray from the typical and overused phrases.

i've always tried to create a unique profile when i'm seriously looking to date as i want to disclude as many as possible prior to their wasting my (and their) time by writing.

invariably, i always get email that indicates they haven't read a word i've written.

all it leads me to believe is that most people really aren't interested in anything i have to say and just want to look at the photos and think a small compliment such as 'you're hawt' will leave me panting at their feet.

So you gave it thorough thought,? The image you wanted to portray, rather than just write what came to mind?

Way to go.
I didn't think like that or
I might have been a 6'4" buff Astronaut
with a PHD in Physics.

for me?

of course i gave it thorough thought. i mean we are talking about meeting a life-long partner here, not just a 5 minute conversation with a never-to-be-heard-from-again stranger.

words flow from me, especially when i'm typing. i don't have to 'make up' things. by being thorough, one isn't necessarily portraying an image, it's allowing the facets of their character to be shown.

i've seen people fill out profiles with 'idontknowwhattowritehere' over and over and over, just to fill out space. gee, just the type of guy i want to date - one who can't even put a tidbit of effort forth.

I also think
The clichés we use kinda define us,
who we are and where we come from.

Kinda like old wives tales and
home remedies.

Often I've found
they change according to family traditions,
class society,
and race.

All of which can give you clues about the
possible failure or success
of a relationship with that person.

I don't like pretensions.

Say what it is
and how it is.

Facades of personality
are only as thick as
the effort used to maintain it.