Topic: Mommas Smashing Little Boy's Bananas
krupa's photo
Sat 02/05/11 07:31 PM
?????


No they aint!

:)

krupa's photo
Sat 02/05/11 07:35 PM
Excellent!

I got a a Polish bannanna!


uhhhh....I hope you like your bannannas circumsized.

IndnPrncs's photo
Sat 02/05/11 07:38 PM

Risking going out on a limb here...

In response to Iam4u,

I see what you are saying here, and I agree. In another thread, I played Devil's Advocate in defense of the OP because his post was met with scorn and belittlement. I wasn't very happy with how people treated my post there either. To reject and dismiss the OP shuts down the discussion by causing the OP to tune out rather than maybe receive advice or help with his or her problem.

In another thread, I noticed the OP had a dilemma but was afraid to bring it up in the Forums because she was a bit shy. So, I talked to her outside the Forums by on-site email. There she explained everything, and together we solved the problem that she was seeking help on.

On the other hand, I'm not sure this thread was that hostile yet, but like you, I saw it heading in that direction until Krupa stepped in and brought it under control again. I almost posted twice since my last post, but deleted it each time. I thought it best to stay away for a bit to see what happened.


Opinions are belittling? I didn't see anyone attack her.. I saw people stating their take on things.. If no one can state their opinion unless it's in agreement then they might as well stop posting...whoa

krupa's photo
Sat 02/05/11 07:42 PM


Excellent!

I got a a Polish bannanna!


uhhhh....I hope you like your bannannas circumsized.


Is there a banana slicer?

I like pickles.

But prefer bananas.

I wont make you get married tho. Thats too too scary.


Sooooo...if I am reading this correctly....we should probably screw.
(God it is sooo easy to be a guy)

actionlynx's photo
Sat 02/05/11 07:54 PM


Risking going out on a limb here...

In response to Iam4u,

I see what you are saying here, and I agree. In another thread, I played Devil's Advocate in defense of the OP because his post was met with scorn and belittlement. I wasn't very happy with how people treated my post there either. To reject and dismiss the OP shuts down the discussion by causing the OP to tune out rather than maybe receive advice or help with his or her problem.

In another thread, I noticed the OP had a dilemma but was afraid to bring it up in the Forums because she was a bit shy. So, I talked to her outside the Forums by on-site email. There she explained everything, and together we solved the problem that she was seeking help on.

On the other hand, I'm not sure this thread was that hostile yet, but like you, I saw it heading in that direction until Krupa stepped in and brought it under control again. I almost posted twice since my last post, but deleted it each time. I thought it best to stay away for a bit to see what happened.


Opinions are belittling? I didn't see anyone attack her.. I saw people stating their take on things.. If no one can state their opinion unless it's in agreement then they might as well stop posting...whoa


Therefore, by that reasoning, I should stop posting....hence my point. At least that's a vibe I've been getting lately in a few threads. I find it rather sad.

IndnPrncs's photo
Sat 02/05/11 08:00 PM



Risking going out on a limb here...

In response to Iam4u,

I see what you are saying here, and I agree. In another thread, I played Devil's Advocate in defense of the OP because his post was met with scorn and belittlement. I wasn't very happy with how people treated my post there either. To reject and dismiss the OP shuts down the discussion by causing the OP to tune out rather than maybe receive advice or help with his or her problem.

In another thread, I noticed the OP had a dilemma but was afraid to bring it up in the Forums because she was a bit shy. So, I talked to her outside the Forums by on-site email. There she explained everything, and together we solved the problem that she was seeking help on.

On the other hand, I'm not sure this thread was that hostile yet, but like you, I saw it heading in that direction until Krupa stepped in and brought it under control again. I almost posted twice since my last post, but deleted it each time. I thought it best to stay away for a bit to see what happened.


Opinions are belittling? I didn't see anyone attack her.. I saw people stating their take on things.. If no one can state their opinion unless it's in agreement then they might as well stop posting...whoa


Therefore, by that reasoning, I should stop posting....hence my point. At least that's a vibe I've been getting lately in a few threads. I find it rather sad.


so you're saying that people find you belittling when you state your opinion? I'm a but confused b/c your statement that I quoted seemed to say that those making statements not of the OP's opinion were belittling...

no photo
Sat 02/05/11 08:05 PM
Not saying I felt that here,,just that it was a bit much,,
through the op's second reply,,'she said' she felt be-littled.
So thats why I wrote,,,and Your right Indn,,ALL opinions can and should be expressed,,,in response to a post...good and bad..
it was just more a me thing to ask,,,here..
And Action,,I appreciate the feed back man,,but also know that limbs
break easy,,,,,lol,,,I thank you for the understanding my thoughts.
But many times I've felt them limbs bust off,,and me fall,lol.
When also trying to intervene,,,I just try to have fun here, with
everyone and their honest feelings DO matter much to me.
I am probably the most out-there guy on here,,lol,who believes
this site can serve as many functions to everyone here..
including their hearts and their pains and joys..
It might sound a cliché,,but I just try to keep it real..
And I type slow,,,lol,,my post was started on page one,,lol,sorry

IndnPrncs's photo
Sat 02/05/11 08:07 PM
Edited by IndnPrncs on Sat 02/05/11 08:07 PM


On the other hand, I'm not sure this thread was that hostile yet, but like you, I saw it heading in that direction until Krupa stepped in and brought it under control again. I almost posted twice since my last post, but deleted it each time. I thought it best to stay away for a bit to see what happened.



so you're saying that people find you belittling when you state your opinion? I'm a but confused b/c your statement that I quoted seemed to say that those making statements not of the OP's opinion were belittling...


he was sayin it was headed toward hostileville.


Oh I get it.. slaphead But I didn't think it was hostile, maybe I didn't read all the posts...

no photo
Sat 02/05/11 08:07 PM



I know Baby.

Smooches.

P.S...I still hit the thrift stores that I got all my clothes and toys from....they feel like home.

:)


cool - ya same

me & my 16 yo are hittin the second hand music store this weekend - at one point I knew their inventory better than they didflowerforyou


When he gets into porn..let me know...I can save you a few bucks and send him a box or two of the raunchiest stuff legally available in the states. Glad to help baby.


that's OK Mr K

I can say with all confidence that his knowlwdge there is, and will stay limited - very - for quite some time to come

but luv ur generous spirit all the same - porn? heck it's educational

no photo
Sat 02/05/11 08:09 PM
Edited by sweetestgirl11 on Sat 02/05/11 08:09 PM

Risking going out on a limb here...

In response to Iam4u,

I see what you are saying here, and I agree. In another thread, I played Devil's Advocate in defense of the OP because his post was met with scorn and belittlement. I wasn't very happy with how people treated my post there either. To reject and dismiss the OP shuts down the discussion by causing the OP to tune out rather than maybe receive advice or help with his or her problem.

In another thread, I noticed the OP had a dilemma but was afraid to bring it up in the Forums because she was a bit shy. So, I talked to her outside the Forums by on-site email. There she explained everything, and together we solved the problem that she was seeking help on.

On the other hand, I'm not sure this thread was that hostile yet, but like you, I saw it heading in that direction until Krupa stepped in and brought it under control again. I almost posted twice since my last post, but deleted it each time. I thought it best to stay away for a bit to see what happened.


ur a very thoughtful man, action

Gwendolyn2009's photo
Sat 02/05/11 08:15 PM

I actually blame my entire sex, myself included, for the emasculating men, and then expecting them to remember what their role is in the relationship.


Ya know, women have received too much of the blame since Eve and Pandora! I don't blame the entire male sex for the way my ex behaved, nor do I blame all men for the injustices done to women for centuries. Things are rarely, if ever, so black and white.



Im very sad to read this. I hope you find your way.


Ditto.

The only belittling I saw here was from the OP. I sense a great deal of anger and it may well be with good reason.

To blame a group however for another groups behavior(particularly in the realm of human rights) is inappropriate and insulting. If members, or sympathizers of the members of a group are under attack, then they are equally welcome to post a reply.


I really didn't see any belittling of the OP, although I have a suspicion that my posts were probably suspect by the person who spoke of belittling.

The OP stated her point; some of us rebutted. Mine was based on what the OP said--one can only go by the evidence in what is written, eh?



actionlynx's photo
Sat 02/05/11 08:24 PM
Gwen, I've read enough of your posts to understand where you are coming from, and to know you have good intentions. Granted, you can be a bit rough in how you come across.

However, lately I've been seeing some threads where others come in, see a certain tone in the conversation, and jump in until it's like a pack of piranha in a frenzy. It's like because one person is a bit rougher in language or tone, others take it as free license to be rude or dismissive.

I'm not sure where things are going, but I hope the trend doesn't continue. Especially if this site receives an influx of people because of Facebook. There are a lot of people who are only brave when behind a computer screen.

Gwendolyn2009's photo
Sat 02/05/11 08:32 PM
Gwen, I've read enough of your posts to understand where you are coming from, and to know you have good intentions. Granted, you can be a bit rough in how you come across.


I am blunt and honest. Like everyone else, all I have are opinions (unless I quote empirical facts and stats).

Truthfully, though, I don't see my responses as "rough"--not unless I am giving back what I receive!

Many people express themselves online as they would never do in person; anonymity gives them a false boldness, but I am the same woman offline and online.

But there is a huge difference between the twain, and that is in "real" life, people usually understand that my bluntness is tempered with kindness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pvGh5R0KbE

Gwendolyn2009's photo
Sat 02/05/11 08:38 PM

Gwen, I wasnt speaking of your comments as belittling. My statement:
The only belittling I saw here was from the OP. I sense a great deal of anger and it may well be with good reason.


meant that the OP made the only belittling comments that I noticed.


Oh, no, no . . . I didn't mean YOU were saying my comments were belittling!

I knew what you meant!

I meant that the person who brought up the statements about the OP being belittled was most likely referring to me.

kc0003's photo
Sat 02/05/11 08:40 PM
sorry, i tried to read this, i really did, but i couldn't make it past the first sentence without breaking out in a cold sweat and having an incredible urge to vomit!

no photo
Sat 02/05/11 08:48 PM
just so everyone including ME here,,is reading from the same page.
Now That her post here is a bit slaughtered through my small words.

TIS was the OP's stated remarks,,not MINE,,ok??

Color me 'Bitterly Unsurprised' that the only direct, descriptive reply was a woman who felt it necessary to belittle the idea in an effort to feel superior


Thats was my meaning to MY posting....what SHE had said, above..


I am sorry for all this taking from your post,,,OP..flowerforyou

actionlynx's photo
Sat 02/05/11 09:39 PM
To add 2 cents to the OP's opening statement:

I grew up with two parents. My mom was of the type the OP mentioned. My dad rarely intervened, disappearing out on his boat, or working in the yard complaining about nobody helping him and then complaining when someone did offer help, or he sat in the living room watching TV while drinking a 12-pack, or Jim Beam on the rocks, or canned martinis, or complaining about how everyone was mooching off his money. We were a single income household, and he was a good provider but felt his job ended there. My mom tried to force her own education agenda (she had every course planned out for high school) on us. She discouraged sports (unless it was girl's basketball). She pulled me out Talented And Gifted because she felt it would be a distraction. She forbid me to work on school nights which only left me the weekend to pick up hours at work. (My sister was allowed to work any night, and she worked 35 hours per week.) My mother even had a list of colleges prepared for me to apply to (which I rebelled against). She even signed me up for a Photography class just so she could take the class herself without being alone. (It was a done deal....I wasn't given an option.) I couldn't wait to get out of that household because I was suffocating.

After spending a month at summer session of an early college my junior year of high school (it was my own decision finally), I began rebelling against my mother during my senior year. I signed up for Music Theory rather a class she wanted me to take. I made my own list of colleges to apply to, dropping several she had picked out. I worked 20 hours in less than three days (the most I could get scheduled for). Then when I got to college, I did my own thing with no one to interfere with me. But even then, my mother forbid me from living off-campus. I had decided to do so to adapt to living in a house/apartment on my own with bills to pay. Though on work-study, I worked double the hours that the school permitted without being penalized by the school, plus played Rugby (a sport mom never would have allowed if she had a say), was an officer in the Debate Club, had a radio show, and was a regular newscaster for the radio station. I traveled on the weekends for games and tournaments, scheduled myself to not have classes on Fridays to avoid missing classes, and did administrative work for the Debate Club. All because my mother no longer had control - I did.

In the end, I love my mother very much (rest in peace). However, I am the person I am because of my mother and because I eventually did rebel to re-establish a sense of self. I am a combination of the two. I've had my share of fights like any boy. I've played three organized sports despite my mom (one as an adult after college). I have a strong work ethic with high expectations. As an adult, I went out of my way to learn the social skills that I was denied developing because of being overly sheltered by my mother. Now the people I met in daily life generally like me, respect me, enjoy my company, ask advice, are supportive, and regard me as one of the more intelligent people they know. I learned what I could from my mom despite her methods, then I took my life back from her. I shaped myself into who I am, but also integrated what my mom taught me, even if I did not agree with her.

So, I do know that there are mothers out there who are as the OP described. Like one responder said, it is upon the male to prevent his own emasculation....to rise up and rebel against it. However, one must also realize that some of these young men are confused and lost or may have already given up. It takes a spine, a fire in the belly mixed with a tiny bit of resentment, and patience to break free. Most of all, it takes self-confidence to carry you through.

Whew! That was a mouthful.

Gwendolyn2009's photo
Sat 02/05/11 09:46 PM
Edited by Gwendolyn2009 on Sat 02/05/11 10:01 PM
OK . . . I checked out the "bitterly unsurprised" quote and I almost understand now. The OP was referring to me because I was the only woman who made a comment between her first statement and the "bitterly unsurprised" comment

I was not giving a "direct, descriptive reply" in an effort to make myself feel superior: the OP made a sweeping condemnation of feminists. She said that they (which includes me) are raising sons to be weak-willed and ineffective.

She also made a statement about "we" having promiscuous sex. I KNOW that I was not included in that statement, but by the use of the word "we," she included ALL women, including herself.

She then went on to blame all women for "emasculating" men.

I won't offer apologies for refuting those statements!

And I find "smashing little boy's bananas" or whichever phrase she used to be extremely crass and in bad taste.

sorry, i tried to read this, i really did, but i couldn't make it past the first sentence without breaking out in a cold sweat and having an incredible urge to vomit!


Hands kc0003 a barf bag.

no photo
Sat 02/05/11 09:48 PM




I know Baby.

Smooches.

P.S...I still hit the thrift stores that I got all my clothes and toys from....they feel like home.

:)


cool - ya same

me & my 16 yo are hittin the second hand music store this weekend - at one point I knew their inventory better than they didflowerforyou


When he gets into porn..let me know...I can save you a few bucks and send him a box or two of the raunchiest stuff legally available in the states. Glad to help baby.


that's OK Mr K

I can say with all confidence that his knowlwdge there is, and will stay limited - very - for quite some time to come

but luv ur generous spirit all the same - porn? heck it's educational


BTW we dont go to the second hand music store to save money - we usually spend more than we mean to - we go there to search for treasures in the context of the history of rock n roll - and some people sell stuf that they're too stupid to realize how lucky they were to have the originals of - if that makes any sense

kc0003's photo
Sat 02/05/11 09:52 PM

sorry, i tried to read this, i really did, but i couldn't make it past the first sentence without breaking out in a cold sweat and having an incredible urge to vomit!


Hands kc0003 a barf bag.



thanks i needed that!