Topic: Guys... when? how?
Indigo54's photo
Tue 03/22/11 07:53 PM
I need some help here guys (or, maybe gals), because I have absolutely no clue about how to handle this.

I had breast cancer in 2003. I did not have a mastectomy, but one of my 'girls' is a bit different from the other. While I'm clothed, you can't tell, but with clothes off, you can see a couple of differences. I've been told that it is so minor that it doesn't matter. My question is...

When should I mention this; in profile? first couple of dates? when I know that we are heading for intimacy? or not at all until we're intimate and he notices?

Thanks for your input, fellas!

no photo
Tue 03/22/11 07:56 PM
never. you don't have to mention it ever. breasts are not asymmetrical naturally. every pair has differences

no photo
Tue 03/22/11 07:57 PM
if you don't believe me look at this site

http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery_B.php

windyinok's photo
Tue 03/22/11 08:03 PM
I think it would be alright while establishing your relationship to mention that you were ill and underwent some treatment. However, you should never point out your imperfections to any man. If he really is attracted to you; you will only become more attractive to him. If he is that picky you really don't need that kind of guy in your intimate life. Most men don't really mind or notice surgical scars and stretch marks anyway. Life ravishes us all. I am sure he is not physically perfect either. So, embrace life and don't sweat the small stuff. Good luck.

Lili_M's photo
Tue 03/22/11 08:09 PM
If you don't feel comfortable telling him about your concerns then its too soon.
If they truly are only minor differences then you don't have to mention it at all.
Besides showing each other your battle wounds can be a fun game...where does he have a scar?

krupa's photo
Tue 03/22/11 08:12 PM
You are more than your boobs......

PLEASE believe me....

I persued a woman for almost three years who had had a mesectomy....She could netver get over feeling like she was less of a woman cause a boob was gone.I didn'tcare. I just wanted the person within the flesh....

But, some people can't get past those things. I moved on.

If you can find someone to love you...please don't focus on a past you can't change. Focus on the love that is offered...

So your boobs aint perfect....on behalf of all men everywhere, please allow me to say...

"We don't care"

If you can still be happy.....that is where we want to be with you.

taoisme's photo
Tue 03/22/11 08:15 PM
I think you're lovely the way you are! I'm glad you're feeling better.

Simonedemidova's photo
Tue 03/22/11 08:17 PM
I would wait a while. Most beginning relationships dont even last anyways, so why even bring it up...if its leading to the sack that quickly it will most likely be a one night stand anyways in which case, I dont think they will really mind the difference...

Indigo54's photo
Tue 03/22/11 08:26 PM
Thanks everyone.

I'm certainly don't let the situation stop me in the bedroom. And, I'm not overly upset about it... after all, I'm a survivor! But, I really don't want a man getting his knickers in a twist because I DIDN'T tell him.

Thanks again! happy

Indigo54's photo
Tue 03/22/11 08:35 PM
I think what I'm more concerned about is dropping the word 'cancer'. Is that a biggie?

no photo
Tue 03/22/11 08:45 PM

I think what I'm more concerned about is dropping the word 'cancer'. Is that a biggie?


you have an awesome story of courage to share - share it! If & when ur comfortable to do so

that's is a pretty cool thing to do - to be a survivor!

no photo
Tue 03/22/11 09:39 PM
terms of endearment


AdventureBegins's photo
Tue 03/22/11 10:30 PM

I need some help here guys (or, maybe gals), because I have absolutely no clue about how to handle this.

I had breast cancer in 2003. I did not have a mastectomy, but one of my 'girls' is a bit different from the other. While I'm clothed, you can't tell, but with clothes off, you can see a couple of differences. I've been told that it is so minor that it doesn't matter. My question is...

When should I mention this; in profile? first couple of dates? when I know that we are heading for intimacy? or not at all until we're intimate and he notices?

Thanks for your input, fellas!

When you feel comfortable mentioning it.

If you get to the point where you are intimate then it should make no diference to him...

You are you.

hellkitten54's photo
Wed 03/23/11 12:20 AM

I think it would be alright while establishing your relationship to mention that you were ill and underwent some treatment. However, you should never point out your imperfections to any man. If he really is attracted to you; you will only become more attractive to him. If he is that picky you really don't need that kind of guy in your intimate life. Most men don't really mind or notice surgical scars and stretch marks anyway. Life ravishes us all. I am sure he is not physically perfect either. So, embrace life and don't sweat the small stuff. Good luck.
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Excellent advice!!

josie68's photo
Wed 03/23/11 05:22 AM
For me if my man had had cancer or even if he still did, It wouldnt change how I felt, I would worry that something may happen but i would love him and share it with him..