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Topic: WHY MEN LIE
BonnyMiss's photo
Sat 07/07/07 07:24 PM
Lighting the blue touch paper here (not my words )

Men lie. Women lie as well, but it doesn't seem like they do it nearly as often. And while it's easy to dismiss dishonesty of any kind as wrong, sometimes there are extenuating circumstances that, while not necessarily excusing the deception, at least put it into some context. Remember, though, that there are at least as many reasons that men lie as there are men, and like those men, some reasons are good, and some are not so good. Take a look at a few of the more common reasons for deception



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1. He didn't want to hurt you

Lying to protect someone's feelings is probably the closest thing to a "good lie" there is, with the exception of lying to protect national security. Men have been known to modify truths if those truths would hurt someone they care about, and in some cases, the victim of the lie can appreciate it as a kindness. "I will lie to spare her feelings if I can," says Marcus, 29. "In a way, I don't even consider it dishonest... it's a matter of doing something kind versus doing something right. That's a difficult choice."

2. He didn't want to hurt himself

Ah, the classic "the truth would have embarrassed me" argument. Falling into the "nice try" category of excuses, a lie that protects the liar's feelings is a lot worse than one that protects yours. "I can't think of a single reason to lie just to spare my own feelings," says Tony, 38. "I suppose I've done it occasionally, but protecting yourself at the expense of someone else is wrong."

3. He said what he thought you wanted to hear

Men are not the most astute readers of feminine desires, and sometimes they will tell a fib because they believe that you'd rather hear an untruth than something potentially hurtful. "I have occasionally defused a fight by saying something she wants to hear, even if it's untrue," says Bryan, 30. "It's not something I defend, just something that seems right at the time."

4. Some things are best left unsaid

Occasionally, men will lie to protect a secret that is either not your business, would cause trouble if revealed, or both. The old "cover-up" comes in two types: a lie to conceal some wrongdoing, like cheating, and a lie to conceal something else, like the fact that he, too, used to be a woman. "Even close couples occasionally have secrets," says Peter, 29. "The fact is, not everything is everyone's business. Some sleeping dogs should be left alone."

5. He's an idiot

Sometimes there is no excuse. Sometimes men lie, for whatever reason, and there's just no defence. Frustratingly, such men are often adept at concealing themselves, so you must trust your heart and instincts when you sense deception. If a man is habitually dishonest, he's probably not worth your time.

Cicero once said, "So great is the power of honesty that we esteem it even in an enemy." While lies can spare feelings, offset trouble and protect secrets, the fact is that honesty is an unassailable fortress, even if the truth sometimes hurts. You must take deceptions as you take your men: on a case-by-case basis. When you've been lied to, trust is in doubt forever, but can also be regained with a lot of hard work on both sides. Use your judgement, and above all, be honest with yourself.

laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

LittleFireCracker19's photo
Sat 07/07/07 07:30 PM
haha thats great...and so truthful! laugh laugh

joshyfox's photo
Sat 07/07/07 07:38 PM
I agree, those are probably THE most important reasons... I don't think Lying is worth the effort, no matter what the circumstance though so i might hurt people sometimes, but I will not lie to them.

lazyj321's photo
Sat 07/07/07 07:48 PM
..?
Why does bad always come out when looking for something good....?
Not a Liar..
but just pondering the question..?

BonnyMiss's photo
Sat 07/07/07 08:06 PM
I must make a statement of declaration here:
The former statement was taken from an article I read recently, this in no way is a reflection of how I think or assess people.I truly believe that each person is an individual in their own right.I love meeting people and always take the time out to get to know a person ( new) before I make assumptions about that person's character..........that goes for both male and female.I posted it because I was curious of other's peoples' reaction on such a topic.flowerforyou

julylookingaround's photo
Sat 07/07/07 08:07 PM
i have fallen under 3 & 4..., (puts head down in shame...)

TxsGal3333's photo
Sat 07/07/07 08:09 PM
Maybe there are some good reasons for some to see
but to be honesty is the best policy if two are honest
with each other they should be able to work out anything
that comes there way. If it is even the white lies they must tell then sooner or later those white lies will start to grow and then there is even more to cover up. So as far as I can see if the smallest of lies mulitply to the point of destruction in a relantionship.

When one feels it is necessary to lie to there partner then there has been a break down in communcation and trust and the relationship is on the path of destruction.

This is only my opinion , but if you really think about it I do have a good point on this. bigsmile

Anytime one feels they must hide something from the other something is wrong if you can not talk to your partner about anything no matter how small or how big. Myself I want one that I feel comfortable with enough that there is nothing we could not talk about I don't feel that is asking too much for anyone to give to another complete trust is important. Without this type of relationship honestly I will stay single and would be better off that way.!!bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile flowerforyou

julylookingaround's photo
Sat 07/07/07 08:17 PM
i have to agree with texas, i was in a bad relationship for 5 years... she was always right, and had to have the last word... so to diffuse the argument i just agreed (which as a lie) or told a white lie so she would stop yelling (which was bad too), or did not tell the whole truth to stop the cycle of rebuttals... now its over i'm a lot happier that i don't have to do those things anymore...

BonnyMiss's photo
Sat 07/07/07 09:18 PM
You said it Txs flowerforyou

SheNerd's photo
Sun 07/08/07 08:23 AM
I vote for #5 with a plateful of #7...

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Sun 07/08/07 08:26 AM
laugh laugh laugh laugh July....women are "always" right geeeeeeeez!!!:wink: :wink: laugh laugh

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Sun 07/08/07 08:32 AM
laugh laugh laugh

horseracer's photo
Sun 07/08/07 09:28 AM
you saying we (men) are the only ones lyinglaugh maybe a little mor is allsad

unsure's photo
Sun 07/08/07 09:31 AM
I had a boyfriend that said when he thought he couldn't win...he would just say.....yes dear, yes dear!!! laugh

SheNerd's photo
Sun 07/08/07 09:33 AM
Always a good answer... :)

no photo
Sun 07/08/07 09:34 AM
yes it is!!!!:wink: laugh laugh

julylookingaround's photo
Sun 07/08/07 10:08 AM
"yes dear..."

no photo
Sun 07/08/07 10:08 AM
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh "Good boy"!!!!:wink:

julylookingaround's photo
Sun 07/08/07 10:22 AM
<<wagging tail, excitedly...>>

no photo
Sun 07/08/07 10:29 AM
<-------pets the doggie!!!:wink: :wink: laugh laugh

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