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| Topic: Dissecting the phrase hard to get | |
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Edited by
Sandelwood4
on
Fri 09/09/11 01:29 PM
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This is for men and women who are considered “hard to get”.
As a woman I hear frustrated male friends complain to me about some or most women being “hard to get”. Personally, I don’t feel there is such a thing or maybe I am different. I never want a a man to chase me. If I was interested in someone I would show it (provided the feeling is mutual of course) and welcome his attention. If I wasn’t interested I would show that as well. So... when I’m not interested in someone why should I be labeled as “hard to get”, as if I’m playing some sort of game? Any thoughts? Also, are there any men who feel they are being labeled inappropriately as "hard to get" or is this just an issue women deal with? |
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The concept largely eludes me. I don't chase anyone, and I have no particular desire to be chased. It's not laser tag, and I think it's just more efficient for people to stop turning things into non-existent Olympic events just for the sake of avoiding rejection.
I've been called "hard to get" but I don't see it that way. Maybe some people see that as an element of the whole "intimidating and complicated" epithet, but I think it's all in their heads. If the right one came along, I'd be egregiously "easy to get." It would probably be embarrassing, actually. |
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Yes, I think people who don't want to face rejection often use that as an excuse. Now, sending mixed messages is a little different though. If someone is acting wishy-washy, that can be quite confusing but should still not be confused with misplacing responsibility for ones actions.
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Well, let's differentiate "hard to get" in terms of "Attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it" as opposed to "hard to get" as in "I'm going to have to be quite certain this is even worth it." I think the former is more of a game, while the latter is a defensive strategy.
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Well, let's differentiate "hard to get" in terms of "Attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it" as opposed to "hard to get" as in "I'm going to have to be quite certain this is even worth it." I think the former is more of a game, while the latter is a defensive strategy. yes the former (attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it) is manipulative and passive aggressive but I'm not sure about the latter. How is the latter a defensive strategy? Is it not simply not being interested? |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk57K4OGrAg
Bad Finger ~ Come and get it I think that some people are not only hard to get but impossible. Having said that it takes two in my opinion who want it. |
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Maybe this is the time for all the women who are "easy" to reveal themselves!
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Well, let's differentiate "hard to get" in terms of "Attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it" as opposed to "hard to get" as in "I'm going to have to be quite certain this is even worth it." I think the former is more of a game, while the latter is a defensive strategy. yes the former (attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it) is manipulative and passive aggressive but I'm not sure about the latter. How is the latter a defensive strategy? Is it not simply not being interested? In my experience, the latter is used by people who need a lot of convincing. They're not opposed to the idea of being chased, per se, but they need to know that it isn't going to backfire on them once they're "caught." They're not doing it as a game at all; they're just afraid of the ramifications if they allow the wrong one to "catch" them. |
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Edited by
Sandelwood4
on
Fri 09/09/11 03:37 PM
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Well, let's differentiate "hard to get" in terms of "Attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it" as opposed to "hard to get" as in "I'm going to have to be quite certain this is even worth it." I think the former is more of a game, while the latter is a defensive strategy. yes the former (attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it) is manipulative and passive aggressive but I'm not sure about the latter. How is the latter a defensive strategy? Is it not simply not being interested? In my experience, the latter is used by people who need a lot of convincing. They're not opposed to the idea of being chased, per se, but they need to know that it isn't going to backfire on them once they're "caught." They're not doing it as a game at all; they're just afraid of the ramifications if they allow the wrong one to "catch" them. Oh, I see what you mean. Never thought of it that way but that is probably when the chaser gets confused and is more likely to label him/her as the hard to get type. |
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Well, let's differentiate "hard to get" in terms of "Attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it" as opposed to "hard to get" as in "I'm going to have to be quite certain this is even worth it." I think the former is more of a game, while the latter is a defensive strategy. yes the former (attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it) is manipulative and passive aggressive but I'm not sure about the latter. How is the latter a defensive strategy? Is it not simply not being interested? In my experience, the latter is used by people who need a lot of convincing. They're not opposed to the idea of being chased, per se, but they need to know that it isn't going to backfire on them once they're "caught." They're not doing it as a game at all; they're just afraid of the ramifications if they allow the wrong one to "catch" them. Oh, I see what you mean. Never thought of it that way but that is probably when the chaser gets confused and is more likely to label him/her as the hard to get type. Exactly, because the chasee is unlikely to stop and say, "Hey look, I appreciate all the attention and interest, but I really need to step back and thoroughly examine your intentions and motives here, before I allow myself to proceed any further in this direction." Kind of a buzz-kill.... So now, everybody has to guess what's going on, and it's a lot harder to get anything done.... |
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Maybe this is the time for all the women who are "easy" to reveal themselves! |
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Well, let's differentiate "hard to get" in terms of "Attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it" as opposed to "hard to get" as in "I'm going to have to be quite certain this is even worth it." I think the former is more of a game, while the latter is a defensive strategy. yes the former (attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it) is manipulative and passive aggressive but I'm not sure about the latter. How is the latter a defensive strategy? Is it not simply not being interested? In my experience, the latter is used by people who need a lot of convincing. They're not opposed to the idea of being chased, per se, but they need to know that it isn't going to backfire on them once they're "caught." They're not doing it as a game at all; they're just afraid of the ramifications if they allow the wrong one to "catch" them. Oh, I see what you mean. Never thought of it that way but that is probably when the chaser gets confused and is more likely to label him/her as the hard to get type. Exactly, because the chasee is unlikely to stop and say, "Hey look, I appreciate all the attention and interest, but I really need to step back and thoroughly examine your intentions and motives here, before I allow myself to proceed any further in this direction." Kind of a buzz-kill.... So now, everybody has to guess what's going on, and it's a lot harder to get anything done.... Honesty is a courageous thing. I have a neighbor who has been trying to hang out with me and when he asked me if we could get something to eat one day I said "no I don't think I can make time for that." He was blown away by my response because he thought I would say "sure, sometime" and he'd get a chance to chase me. It's easier for people to lie for the sake of being nice instead of being honest and sincere. I haven't quite mastered it yet but I am constantly working on it. |
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This is for men and women who are considered “hard to get”. As a woman I hear frustrated male friends complain to me about some or most women being “hard to get”. Personally, I don’t feel there is such a thing or maybe I am different. I never want a a man to chase me. If I was interested in someone I would show it (provided the feeling is mutual of course) and welcome his attention. If I wasn’t interested I would show that as well. So... when I’m not interested in someone why should I be labeled as “hard to get”, as if I’m playing some sort of game? Any thoughts? Also, are there any men who feel they are being labeled inappropriately as "hard to get" or is this just an issue women deal with? I think the term stems mostly from flipping the concept that some are 'easy' to get. I think people are considered easy when they have low standards about how quickly, how often, and how many they will get involved with. I think people with higher standards, or who are pickier about how often they get involved and what needs to happen PRIOR to getting involved,, are considered more 'hard to get' Id rather be seen as hard to get than as easy But, in truth, Im easy to get as a friend, but EXTREMELY difficult to get on any intimate level(because I Require alot before going there with anyone). |
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Maybe this is the time for all the women who are "easy" to reveal themselves!  wisdom from the pig the pig had spoken 
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what does it mean - hard to get?
busy phone? always in meetings?/?? |
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I was labeled "hard to get" by many women back in the day. I was oblivious to when a chick liked me. Until that one glorious day this one girl showed me her breasts, slapped me, and screamed in my face, "Hey dumbazz! I like ya! Get a clue!". Talk about a wake-up call.
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I was labeled "hard to get" by many women back in the day. I was oblivious to when a chick liked me. Until that one glorious day this one girl showed me her breasts, slapped me, and screamed in my face, "Hey dumbazz! I like ya! Get a clue!". Talk about a wake-up call. Honestly, I really appreciate when they do that sort of thing. Otherwise, I never have a clue if they're interested or not. |
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I was labeled "hard to get" by many women back in the day. I was oblivious to when a chick liked me. Until that one glorious day this one girl showed me her breasts, slapped me, and screamed in my face, "Hey dumbazz! I like ya! Get a clue!". Talk about a wake-up call.  
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I was labeled "hard to get" by many women back in the day. I was oblivious to when a chick liked me. Until that one glorious day this one girl showed me her breasts, slapped me, and screamed in my face, "Hey dumbazz! I like ya! Get a clue!". Talk about a wake-up call. Is this one an ex wife now? (Sorry couldn't resist- I'l go back to my corner now) |
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what does it mean - hard to get? busy phone? always in meetings?/?? That's what I was wondering because I really don't like the label as much as I don't like the opposite term "easy to get" either. |
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