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| Topic: Law of Attraction.. My theory... | |
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So I have been in a fair number of realationships in my lifetime..
I am quite a deep philosophical thinker and i ponder female behaviour..its one of my favourite passtimes lol I was just wondering if any of the guys on here feel the same way i do? You meet a girl.. how things develop between you and that girl are pretty much based on chemistry right? Well how about this.. from the ages of 16 to 32 i have been in over 40 plus realationships.. never really thinking about the psychology of realationships but rather just enjoying the moments and the ego boost.. over the last three years i have changed, i have realised for the first time since i was 32 that i really want to experience love for the first time..in all my past realationships i can honestly say i was never in love.. in passion, lust, desire yes.. but i could always walk away without feeling hurt.. But no and for the past 3 years i have had a yearning to let go.. to feel completely vulnerable and to feel love even if it ends up hurting me.. i have been ready for 3 years.. So.. why is it i can no longer find a woman? I know why that is.. because when i meet a woman i give off this energy through my actions, thoughts, feelings, vibes that i am ready for something serious.. i find this makes women run a mile! So i decided for the first time in three years of being unseccseful to resort back to "player mode" and what do you know.. the first time round and the girl is all over me.. I just dont get it ladies, do you actually want a man who is sincere and genuine about falling in love or do you just want a bad boy to challange you... Personally after 3 years of meeting countless women and failing with being nice, genuine and sincere looking for real love.. I think i gotta go back to my old ways.. Does the same happen for you men out there..? You pull they push away.. You push away they pull...? Theory or delusion? I'd really like to know.. |
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you have to find a balance here. maybe you were over the top with the whole relationship/love/ lifetime thing. women are not used to seeing that with men and you probably scared the **** out of a few of them.
try somewhere between “playa” and “psycho nut-job” |
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So I have been in a fair number of realationships in my lifetime.. I am quite a deep philosophical thinker and i ponder female behaviour..its one of my favourite passtimes lol I was just wondering if any of the guys on here feel the same way i do? You meet a girl.. how things develop between you and that girl are pretty much based on chemistry right? Well how about this.. from the ages of 16 to 32 i have been in over 40 plus realationships.. never really thinking about the psychology of realationships but rather just enjoying the moments and the ego boost.. over the last three years i have changed, i have realised for the first time since i was 32 that i really want to experience love for the first time..in all my past realationships i can honestly say i was never in love.. in passion, lust, desire yes.. but i could always walk away without feeling hurt.. But no and for the past 3 years i have had a yearning to let go.. to feel completely vulnerable and to feel love even if it ends up hurting me.. i have been ready for 3 years.. So.. why is it i can no longer find a woman? I know why that is.. because when i meet a woman i give off this energy through my actions, thoughts, feelings, vibes that i am ready for something serious.. i find this makes women run a mile! So i decided for the first time in three years of being unseccseful to resort back to "player mode" and what do you know.. the first time round and the girl is all over me.. I just dont get it ladies, do you actually want a man who is sincere and genuine about falling in love or do you just want a bad boy to challange you... Personally after 3 years of meeting countless women and failing with being nice, genuine and sincere looking for real love.. I think i gotta go back to my old ways.. Does the same happen for you men out there..? You pull they push away.. You push away they pull...? Theory or delusion? I'd really like to know.. It is timing. When we first meet someone we look for confidence and unneediness. Showing he cares for himself well and is a good catch so to speak meaning he can get women fairly easily. Which shows that I am a catch if he is interested in me. Get it? Then as you get to know us that is the time to let some of the vulnerability show. Slowly start to want to be monogamous and take the relationship past the dating stage. During which time you can let on that you are unsure of yourself in this stage and need to know she is feeling the same as you. Just like a man does not want to hear a woman plan their life together on the third date, neither do women want to feel like he is doing the same. This only applies to fairly sane people now too.  
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Also you have to consider that the "friend" "friend with benes" type relationship is easier to get into and get out of so it happens more easily if the people are of that mind set.
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You meet a girl.. how things develop between you and that girl are pretty much based on chemistry right? Initially, sure. The problem is -- at least in my experience -- "chemistry" can be horribly deceptive. Or even simulated, in some cases. So.. why is it i can no longer find a woman? I know why that is.. because when i meet a woman i give off this energy through my actions, thoughts, feelings, vibes that i am ready for something serious.. i find this makes women run a mile! I haven't run into that. I've run into a never-ending series of women whose only concern is finding someone to support them and their past/present/future kids. As I'm devoutly non-parental, this is never going to be a good match. For me, it isn't about not being able to find them -- they're all over the place. I get lots of messages, on a few different sites. But never from anyone I could actually be interested in. I'm sure there are women out there who WILL run away from a guy who comes across as "too serious." Not everybody is ready for a commitment. But I tend to only hear from the ones who WANT "serious," and they want it NOW, and you better know how to shut your brain off and play sitcom daddy. I just dont get it ladies, do you actually want a man who is sincere and genuine about falling in love or do you just want a bad boy to challange you... I think they just want someone they can change or "fix" -- it's a project, like rearranging the furniture in the living room, or buying new towels for the upstairs bath. They aren't interested in who you are, they're only interested in who they can turn you into. And I think they get more points based on how radically they change you. Does the same happen for you men out there..? You pull they push away.. You push away they pull...? Not for me. They lie to me, tell me they don't want kids, until three months into the relationship, at which point they suddenly decide they have to have a baby. I've had a lot of relationships, and only one didn't follow this pattern. It's not about pulling and pushing. It's about manipulation, lies, and biology. |
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40 relationships? You've been busy!
So, you say you can no longer find a woman. Have you become more picky? The player type doesn't do much for me. Perhaps it's just the kind of women you're meeting? |
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in response to the op
'do you actually want a man who is sincere and genuine about falling in love or do you just want a bad boy to challange you...' everyone is different, some of us want a man who is sincere and genuine in their actions and words ,,sure but being 'open' to falling in love is more a comfortable space(for me) than someone for whom 'falling in love' is the only goal,,,, someone comfortable enough on their own attracts many women more so than someone 'seeking' love from someone else,,,and the thril of developing love with such a person who was fine on their own,, is likewise more attractive a proposition for many women than being the love object of someone who was 'looking' for it,,, |
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40 relationships? You've been busy! So, you say you can no longer find a woman. Have you become more picky? The player type doesn't do much for me. Perhaps it's just the kind of women you're meeting? Yes definatly.. since the last three years i have been holding out a lot waiting for the right lady to come along.. I know what i want in a realationship now, i have had enough to know ;) I dont wanna be a player no more.. as the song goes... I just want to start something special with something special in a special way.. Start as you mean to go on.. make the foundations special and build from there.. I dont want to meet a woman that is only interested in me because she sees me as a challange or because she wants to feel like she is the pick of the bunch.. I want someone to see the qualities i have that i can bring into a realationship and appreciate them because they are plentyful.. But i really dont know anymore.. |
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40 relationships? You've been busy! So, you say you can no longer find a woman. Have you become more picky? The player type doesn't do much for me. Perhaps it's just the kind of women you're meeting? Yes definatly.. since the last three years i have been holding out a lot waiting for the right lady to come along.. I know what i want in a realationship now, i have had enough to know ;) I dont wanna be a player no more.. as the song goes... I just want to start something special with something special in a special way.. Start as you mean to go on.. make the foundations special and build from there.. I dont want to meet a woman that is only interested in me because she sees me as a challange or because she wants to feel like she is the pick of the bunch.. I want someone to see the qualities i have that i can bring into a realationship and appreciate them because they are plentyful.. But i really dont know anymore.. It sounds like you do know. Go for what you want, rather than just any girl. Being more pickier is not a bad thing. |
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Tony you need to stop making it such a chore. Enjoy your life. The right one will come.
 .. now..gime your wallet! 
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To attract a woman who wants to settle down, maybe get married and have a permanent life time relationship or even children etc....
A woman like that will consciously look for a man who is stable, has a job or career and maybe already owns a house. Its not that she marries for money, but she marries a man she knows can support her and her children and provide for them. As much as women are in the work force today, some men do not realize how much work taking care of a home and children are. It is a lifetime commitment. A smart woman does not take this lightly. A bubble head might. You don't want a bubble head. She will look for a man who likes children and animals etc. Don't be too picky about looks... can she cook? Does she keep a nice house or is she a slob?. Does she smoke or drink? Is she on drugs? What kind of work does she do? These are the things you want to consider. Is she ready to settle down too? Do you share the same values? All of this matters in a long term relationship. You have to like each other, the chemistry needs to be right. |
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Tony : This isnt a theory bro its a fact !
"So i decided for the first time in three years of being unseccseful to resort back to "player mode" and what do you know.. the first time round and the girl is all over me.." Gee what do you know huh ? "I just dont get it ladies, do you actually want a man who is sincere and genuine about falling in love or do you just want a bad boy to challange you...' They want a challenge period ! If your married your even more sought after .Try it do the ring experiment LOL.. "Personally after 3 years of meeting countless women and failing with being nice, genuine and sincere looking for real love.." Oh honesty will get you no where huh ? LOL " I think i gotta go back to my old ways.. Does the same happen for you men out there..? " It did until I got tired of playing games with women man .Because I am bi I dont have to anymore .And guess what? Now they bother me ! "You pull they push away.. You push away they pull...? " Yep that's about it .. " Theory or delusion?" Fact ! Women will always want what they cant have . " I'd really like to know.." You already do ..Now take your tools and go to work .. |
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40 relationships? You've been busy! So, you say you can no longer find a woman. Have you become more picky? The player type doesn't do much for me. Perhaps it's just the kind of women you're meeting? Sing sorry nothing does anything for you .How many sites are you on ? Ok he said 40 ? No its not the kind of women hes meeting .Unless hes attracted to the same types of women ? Its either him he could be bi or gay and in denial .But doubt he will admit this . You cant possibly have dated that many women and not of fallen in love with any of them ! My problem is I fall in love with everyone LOL.. |
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40 relationships? You've been busy! So, you say you can no longer find a woman. Have you become more picky? The player type doesn't do much for me. Perhaps it's just the kind of women you're meeting? Sing sorry nothing does anything for you .How many sites are you on ? Ok he said 40 ? No its not the kind of women hes meeting .Unless hes attracted to the same types of women ? Its either him he could be bi or gay and in denial .But doubt he will admit this . You cant possibly have dated that many women and not of fallen in love with any of them ! My problem is I fall in love with everyone LOL.. Where did I say nothing does anything for me? I specifically said the player type doesn't do anything for me. That's quite different than nothing. What relevance are other sites? |
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Wow, I agree, you have been busy. You've been searching for 3 years now and haven't found the right woman. Some of us women have been searching for more than 3 years for guys who fianlly step up to the plate and be real men who are willing and ready to be in committed relationships. You quit to easily.
In all those relationships I wonder if any of those women really were into you and wanted a long term committment with you. How many hearts did you break? I'd hate to be in a relationship with a man, caring about him and loving him, not knowing that all the while he was just playing me. He was just there for the fun. Quitters never win, and winners never quit. Keep searching, she out there. |
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sing God I love revving her up LOL...vroom vroom !
"Where did I say nothing does anything for me? I specifically said the player type doesn't do anything for me. That's quite different than nothing." Yes you did and I didnt mis quote you like you like to do did I ? " What relevance are other sites? " Dunno but dynamiting the pond isnt working for you is it ?
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Look OP ...Some women are attracted to bank robbers rapist and serial killers also .
So who the frack knows ! Personally I am glad I am bi ..No when I go to the gay bars women frack with me as much as men. And I get to tell them all NO !
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klc great points ..I think the Op is worried about what they want to much .And trying to be something he's not to appease women .
I still dont understand how he doesnt fall in love ? Guess you cant fall into something you dont have to begin with right ? LOL |
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sing God I love revving her up LOL...vroom vroom ! "Where did I say nothing does anything for me? I specifically said the player type doesn't do anything for me. That's quite different than nothing." Yes you did and I didnt mis quote you like you like to do did I ? " What relevance are other sites? " Dunno but dynamiting the pond isnt working for you is it ? What? 
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Some people are just guarded. It's no big deal, we all wear masks and all have walls and barriers, its how we protect ourselves from getting hurt. Out of the ladies i have had realationships with, i grew to respect them and care about them, dont get me wrong i had my playing days but i was never a bas**rd. I just never fell in love, like head over heel, lose all form of logic type love.. butterflies and all that stuff.. But now i am ready to, im ready to let go and fall.. and take that leap, with the right woman of course.. and thats why i have been holding out.. Besides guys 40 isnt a lot.. not by today's standards.. most of my friends if being honest can hit beyond that figure..and im sure some of you on here can too lol Anyways, im a patient person, i can wait and have waited for 3 years now.. i can theorize about what women want because i love to.. at the end of the day i stay true to my morals and integrity which i have learnt to do over the years.. since being a player.. ;)
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