Topic: Twice Weekly Sex Contract...Would You Sign One?
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Sat 01/28/12 04:32 PM
Edited by sweetestgirl11 on Sat 01/28/12 04:34 PM



As much as i hate to say it, women are always being degraded. Whether it's the media doing that, or the porn industry. I think women have basically had enough of feeling like they have to be a energiser bunny. Nobody ever talks about it. With some men, they're like "Oh, if a woman doesn't sleep with me on the first night meet her, i dump her". I just wish women WOULD talk about it more. Not saying men never feel degraded. Just that it happens with women moreso. Ignore me, i'm just ranting. lol.


Maybe we meet completely different kinds of men. I don't feel degraded. I don't meet men who tell me that if I don't sleep with them on the first night that things won't go any farther.


I guess you are lucky. I meet guys whose first question is what kind of sex positons do you like; how often do you like sex; etc. I do feel degraded when asked those questions. For once; I would like to meet a guy that doesn't use sex as his main subject. Oh wait; I have met men like this but these are just my good friends.

really I don't usually meet men who are like that right away either- but I do think that among the men I have known - it has been just a few who really were good lovers as far as understanding the importance of repciprocal lovemaking and not totally just all about the penis (yawn)

and who also understood the importance of the relationship OUTSIDE of the the bedroom and how that can affect what happens in the bedroom (or where ever we were doing it that day....:wink: )

also just as quick postscript- both males and females can have a sexual dysfunction but that makes up a very small percentage of men & women

there are plenty who are also just bored with each other

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Sat 01/28/12 04:38 PM

It seems to me that perhaps you might consider that statistics are a huge turn off


Really? Then I feel sorry for statisticians and pollsters. Poor guys must never get laid.


AND any man who is part of a couple who blames his spouse for her "lack of a sex drive" needs to examine his own ability to please her


So the problem is always in his ability to please her in bed? Not according to the statistics (sorry, I know you just got turned off by me mentioning statistics). It seems a bit unreasonable to reject the statistics simply because they are a "huge turn off". You seem to not care if they are accurate, just that you don't like hearing them.


Seakolony's photo
Sat 01/28/12 04:54 PM


Female Sexual Dysfunction: Evaluation and Treatment

Estimates of the number of women who have sexual dysfunction range from 19 to 50 percent in “normal” outpatient populations3–6 and increase to 68 to 75 percent when sexual dissatisfaction or problems (not dysfunctional in nature) are included.5,7 Yet, one review of physicians' chart notes revealed a recorded sexual problem in only 2 percent.5 In another review, physician inquiry of patients in a gynecologic office setting about sexual problems increased reported complaints about sexual dysfunction sixfold.3 This discrepancy demonstrates a need for physician education in this area.


Maybe you ladies were all lucky enough to be born with a healthy sex drive, but 19-50 percent of women weren't. Yes, sexual dissatisfaction ups that number to 68-75%, but 50% is nothing to sneeze at. Unless you ladies have been spending a lot of time dating and having sex with other women, it seems to me that men would have a better perspective on this.

I was married to my husband for sixteen years and our marriage dissolution had nothing to do with our sex life.

Ruth34611's photo
Sat 01/28/12 04:55 PM
Okay, fine. I'll sign the contract. But, it has to be upped to 3 times a week. And, if he doesn't put out then I want monetary compensation!

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Sat 01/28/12 04:56 PM


It seems to me that perhaps you might consider that statistics are a huge turn off


Really? Then I feel sorry for statisticians and pollsters. Poor guys must never get laid.


AND any man who is part of a couple who blames his spouse for her "lack of a sex drive" needs to examine his own ability to please her


So the problem is always in his ability to please her in bed? Not according to the statistics (sorry, I know you just got turned off by me mentioning statistics). It seems a bit unreasonable to reject the statistics simply because they are a "huge turn off". You seem to not care if they are accurate, just that you don't like hearing them.



this isn't about lesbians

and yes it is often his inability to please her

and when a man has difficulty getting a woman to continue a sexual relationship with him that is generally why

and if he is smart he will learn how to please her

if he doesn't she will assume eventually that it is because he does not care enough to learn (only cares for his pleasure)

as she should also learn to please him

this is why taboos and negative thinking about sex can be so damaging

I think it is foolish to bring statistics up because you can prove about anything you want with them if you find someone who will actaully believe them. Personal expereince and the expereinces of friends are more meaningful and that is what I refer to for my opinions here. There are a myriad of reasons why stats in sexual research are extremely flawed

Kat1974's photo
Sat 01/28/12 04:59 PM


Female Sexual Dysfunction: Evaluation and Treatment

Estimates of the number of women who have sexual dysfunction range from 19 to 50 percent in “normal” outpatient populations3–6 and increase to 68 to 75 percent when sexual dissatisfaction or problems (not dysfunctional in nature) are included.5,7 Yet, one review of physicians' chart notes revealed a recorded sexual problem in only 2 percent.5 In another review, physician inquiry of patients in a gynecologic office setting about sexual problems increased reported complaints about sexual dysfunction sixfold.3 This discrepancy demonstrates a need for physician education in this area.


Maybe you ladies were all lucky enough to be born with a healthy sex drive, but 19-50 percent of women weren't. Yes, sexual dissatisfaction ups that number to 68-75%, but 50% is nothing to sneeze at. Unless you ladies have been spending a lot of time dating and having sex with other women, it seems to me that men would have a better perspective on this.


There are many reasons a woman will say no to sex. Most of the time it has nothing to do with a dysfunction. It could be she is tired..or feeling unappreciated...or stressed..or she just doesn't want to (the list goes on). Just because a guy is ready to jump into her pants and she says no it falls under that? No.

no photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:01 PM



Female Sexual Dysfunction: Evaluation and Treatment

Estimates of the number of women who have sexual dysfunction range from 19 to 50 percent in “normal” outpatient populations3–6 and increase to 68 to 75 percent when sexual dissatisfaction or problems (not dysfunctional in nature) are included.5,7 Yet, one review of physicians' chart notes revealed a recorded sexual problem in only 2 percent.5 In another review, physician inquiry of patients in a gynecologic office setting about sexual problems increased reported complaints about sexual dysfunction sixfold.3 This discrepancy demonstrates a need for physician education in this area.


Maybe you ladies were all lucky enough to be born with a healthy sex drive, but 19-50 percent of women weren't. Yes, sexual dissatisfaction ups that number to 68-75%, but 50% is nothing to sneeze at. Unless you ladies have been spending a lot of time dating and having sex with other women, it seems to me that men would have a better perspective on this.

I was married to my husband for sixteen years and our marriage dissolution had nothing to do with our sex life.


...I wasn't commenting of divorce or blaming a lack of sex drive for divorces. Just read my post, don't try to imagine what else I am thinking. Look through the thread at all of the women saying that "if the sex is good, there will be plenty of it". Sorry, but that's not true. There are lots of reasons why women lose their sex drive that has nothing to do with their partner's performance. Medications, low testosterone levels, stress, etc. Sometimes the lack of sex is due to the behavior of the partner, but there isn't a 1:1 relationship between "lack of sex drive" and "lousy lover".

no photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:05 PM



Female Sexual Dysfunction: Evaluation and Treatment

Estimates of the number of women who have sexual dysfunction range from 19 to 50 percent in “normal” outpatient populations3–6 and increase to 68 to 75 percent when sexual dissatisfaction or problems (not dysfunctional in nature) are included.5,7 Yet, one review of physicians' chart notes revealed a recorded sexual problem in only 2 percent.5 In another review, physician inquiry of patients in a gynecologic office setting about sexual problems increased reported complaints about sexual dysfunction sixfold.3 This discrepancy demonstrates a need for physician education in this area.


Maybe you ladies were all lucky enough to be born with a healthy sex drive, but 19-50 percent of women weren't. Yes, sexual dissatisfaction ups that number to 68-75%, but 50% is nothing to sneeze at. Unless you ladies have been spending a lot of time dating and having sex with other women, it seems to me that men would have a better perspective on this.


There are many reasons a woman will say no to sex. Most of the time it has nothing to do with a dysfunction. It could be she is tired..or feeling unappreciated...or stressed..or she just doesn't want to (the list goes on). Just because a guy is ready to jump into her pants and she says no it falls under that? No.


Oh, another woman who disagrees with the facts. Color me surprised.

At least you admit that a lack of sex drive is occasionally not the man's fault.

no photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:07 PM




Female Sexual Dysfunction: Evaluation and Treatment

Estimates of the number of women who have sexual dysfunction range from 19 to 50 percent in “normal” outpatient populations3–6 and increase to 68 to 75 percent when sexual dissatisfaction or problems (not dysfunctional in nature) are included.5,7 Yet, one review of physicians' chart notes revealed a recorded sexual problem in only 2 percent.5 In another review, physician inquiry of patients in a gynecologic office setting about sexual problems increased reported complaints about sexual dysfunction sixfold.3 This discrepancy demonstrates a need for physician education in this area.


Maybe you ladies were all lucky enough to be born with a healthy sex drive, but 19-50 percent of women weren't. Yes, sexual dissatisfaction ups that number to 68-75%, but 50% is nothing to sneeze at. Unless you ladies have been spending a lot of time dating and having sex with other women, it seems to me that men would have a better perspective on this.

I was married to my husband for sixteen years and our marriage dissolution had nothing to do with our sex life.


...I wasn't commenting of divorce or blaming a lack of sex drive for divorces. Just read my post, don't try to imagine what else I am thinking. Look through the thread at all of the women saying that "if the sex is good, there will be plenty of it". Sorry, but that's not true. There are lots of reasons why women lose their sex drive that has nothing to do with their partner's performance. Medications, low testosterone levels, stress, etc. Sometimes the lack of sex is due to the behavior of the partner, but there isn't a 1:1 relationship between "lack of sex drive" and "lousy lover".


I think the learning to read would be good advice as I never mentioned divorce

nor have I imagined what u are thinking - I doubt I could EVER imagine that as usually you make no sense to me

- it has EVERYTHING to do with his (in)ability to please her

and there is no such thing as a "performance" in sex

so my suggestion is perhaps you learn a bit about sex - somewhere

have a good evening - no worries from me - I won't assume anything about how u think:wink: laugh

Seakolony's photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:12 PM




Female Sexual Dysfunction: Evaluation and Treatment

Estimates of the number of women who have sexual dysfunction range from 19 to 50 percent in “normal” outpatient populations3–6 and increase to 68 to 75 percent when sexual dissatisfaction or problems (not dysfunctional in nature) are included.5,7 Yet, one review of physicians' chart notes revealed a recorded sexual problem in only 2 percent.5 In another review, physician inquiry of patients in a gynecologic office setting about sexual problems increased reported complaints about sexual dysfunction sixfold.3 This discrepancy demonstrates a need for physician education in this area.


Maybe you ladies were all lucky enough to be born with a healthy sex drive, but 19-50 percent of women weren't. Yes, sexual dissatisfaction ups that number to 68-75%, but 50% is nothing to sneeze at. Unless you ladies have been spending a lot of time dating and having sex with other women, it seems to me that men would have a better perspective on this.

I was married to my husband for sixteen years and our marriage dissolution had nothing to do with our sex life.


...I wasn't commenting of divorce or blaming a lack of sex drive for divorces. Just read my post, don't try to imagine what else I am thinking. Look through the thread at all of the women saying that "if the sex is good, there will be plenty of it". Sorry, but that's not true. There are lots of reasons why women lose their sex drive that has nothing to do with their partner's performance. Medications, low testosterone levels, stress, etc. Sometimes the lack of sex is due to the behavior of the partner, but there isn't a 1:1 relationship between "lack of sex drive" and "lousy lover".

I didn't say you were......I was just saying we had a great sex life right up until the end.....

no photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:12 PM

I think the learning to read would be good advice as I never mentioned divorce


Oh the irony. Thank you, it's delicious.


nor have I imagined what u are thinking - I doubt I could EVER imagine that as usually you make no sense to me


Once again, color me surprised.


- it has EVERYTHING to do with his (in)ability to please her


Science, medicine and psychology be damned! laugh


and there is no such thing as a "performance" in sex


According to every other single organism on that planet that reproduces through sex, there is.


so my suggestion is perhaps you learn a bit about sex - somewhere


Is this a come on?


have a good evening - no worries from me - I won't assume anything about how u think:wink: laugh


Great to hear. Maybe next time you could read the post and see that I'm replying to another person? Mmmkay? Thanks.

no photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:14 PM

I didn't say you were......I was just saying we had a great sex life right up until the end.....


Sorry, my mistake. Divorce or simply breaking up with a long term significant other is terribly painful. Hopefully you took away some pleasant memories and learned some life lessons.

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Sat 01/28/12 05:19 PM


I didn't say you were......I was just saying we had a great sex life right up until the end.....


Sorry, my mistake. Divorce or simply breaking up with a long term significant other is terribly painful. Hopefully you took away some pleasant memories and learned some life lessons.


I have no idea what u are talking about

but thank you

I think I have had something positive from all my relationships - regardless of who ended it - and wish them well

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Sat 01/28/12 05:22 PM



I didn't say you were......I was just saying we had a great sex life right up until the end.....


Sorry, my mistake. Divorce or simply breaking up with a long term significant other is terribly painful. Hopefully you took away some pleasant memories and learned some life lessons.


I have no idea what u are talking about

but thank you

I think I have had something positive from all my relationships - regardless of who ended it - and wish them well


I now know why you said "usually you make no sense to me ". I was replying to Seakolony. I quoted her post. I wasn't talking to you. That's twice that I've written a reply to her, clearly quoted what she typed and you decided I was replying to you. What was it you said...oh yeah: "I think the learning to read would be good advice".

no photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:26 PM


Female Sexual Dysfunction: Evaluation and Treatment

Estimates of the number of women who have sexual dysfunction range from 19 to 50 percent in “normal” outpatient populations3–6 and increase to 68 to 75 percent when sexual dissatisfaction or problems (not dysfunctional in nature) are included.5,7 Yet, one review of physicians' chart notes revealed a recorded sexual problem in only 2 percent.5 In another review, physician inquiry of patients in a gynecologic office setting about sexual problems increased reported complaints about sexual dysfunction sixfold.3 This discrepancy demonstrates a need for physician education in this area.


Maybe you ladies were all lucky enough to be born with a healthy sex drive, but 19-50 percent of women weren't. Yes, sexual dissatisfaction ups that number to 68-75%, but 50% is nothing to sneeze at. Unless you ladies have been spending a lot of time dating and having sex with other women, it seems to me that men would have a better perspective on this.


If you meet a lot of women like this, that sucks. That doesn't mean you should assume most women fall into this category, though.

I don't think men need to speak for women on why they're losing interest in sex. Try asking those women instead.

Sin_and_Sorrow's photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:30 PM

His marriage and last relationship ended because both women lost interest in sex. He says he wants an undertaking that before he marries any woman, they would have to agree to have sex at least twice a week, unless one of us is ill or away.

Would you sign a contract that states you have to have sex/make love to your partner twice a week?

I have a dilemma with this because I wouldn't sign a contract like this if it was a condition of him marrying me and in principle, I object to a contract that would effectively take away the spontaneity...I also don’t think sex and how often it occurs can be legislated by a contract....IDK...I kinda disagree but agree in a weird way.


..that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.

I'd smack the chit out of her with that paper and leave.

However, may be different on the flip side, but if a woman brings that to me? lmao

I'm down 24/7.

Just let me know when, where, and if I should bring some KY.

I'll bang you so hard when you have a child, that child will already be pregnant. Cause that's how I roll.

no photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:30 PM



It seems to me that perhaps you might consider that statistics are a huge turn off


Really? Then I feel sorry for statisticians and pollsters. Poor guys must never get laid.


AND any man who is part of a couple who blames his spouse for her "lack of a sex drive" needs to examine his own ability to please her


So the problem is always in his ability to please her in bed? Not according to the statistics (sorry, I know you just got turned off by me mentioning statistics). It seems a bit unreasonable to reject the statistics simply because they are a "huge turn off". You seem to not care if they are accurate, just that you don't like hearing them.



this isn't about lesbians

and yes it is often his inability to please her

and when a man has difficulty getting a woman to continue a sexual relationship with him that is generally why

and if he is smart he will learn how to please her

if he doesn't she will assume eventually that it is because he does not care enough to learn (only cares for his pleasure)

as she should also learn to please him

this is why taboos and negative thinking about sex can be so damaging

I think it is foolish to bring statistics up because you can prove about anything you want with them if you find someone who will actaully believe them. Personal expereince and the expereinces of friends are more meaningful and that is what I refer to for my opinions here. There are a myriad of reasons why stats in sexual research are extremely flawed


I also think it's in the woman's best interest to discuss these issues with the guy. Bring up ways that will make sex better. Let him know exactly what she likes. If she doesn't speak up, he may assume that things are ok.

Seakolony's photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:30 PM


I didn't say you were......I was just saying we had a great sex life right up until the end.....


Sorry, my mistake. Divorce or simply breaking up with a long term significant other is terribly painful. Hopefully you took away some pleasant memories and learned some life lessons.

I did three lovely children, a great friendship, and a new wife (my husbands new wife and stepmother to my children)......at first he made it difficult because I decided to end the marriage, but it was best for us both.....and the children have more people to love them then before.....my oldest is having a child in May....a boy...so grandparents we become now

no photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:31 PM


I think the learning to read would be good advice as I never mentioned divorce


Oh the irony. Thank you, it's delicious.


nor have I imagined what u are thinking - I doubt I could EVER imagine that as usually you make no sense to me


Once again, color me surprised.


- it has EVERYTHING to do with his (in)ability to please her


Science, medicine and psychology be damned! laugh


and there is no such thing as a "performance" in sex


According to every other single organism on that planet that reproduces through sex, there is.


so my suggestion is perhaps you learn a bit about sex - somewhere


Is this a come on?


have a good evening - no worries from me - I won't assume anything about how u think:wink: laugh


Great to hear. Maybe next time you could read the post and see that I'm replying to another person? Mmmkay? Thanks.


no it will never be a come onnoway no worries

it was advice

go head and believe what u will

I tend to trust my expereince over that of experts - and I know how men are - I;ve been around them all my life

it's not that some women can't also be selfish, but the OP was about a man

sorry I replied to the wrong post - I am kinda busy - ripping a bunch of music and making beef stew so no I didn't read the whole thread- I seldom do it's seldom worth it

I will just be sure to not respond to you again, my mistake

BUT any man (anyone) who thinks sex involves a "performance" is sorely mistaken and not someone I want to discuss sex with anywaylaugh :tongue:

no photo
Sat 01/28/12 05:31 PM



Female Sexual Dysfunction: Evaluation and Treatment

Estimates of the number of women who have sexual dysfunction range from 19 to 50 percent in “normal” outpatient populations3–6 and increase to 68 to 75 percent when sexual dissatisfaction or problems (not dysfunctional in nature) are included.5,7 Yet, one review of physicians' chart notes revealed a recorded sexual problem in only 2 percent.5 In another review, physician inquiry of patients in a gynecologic office setting about sexual problems increased reported complaints about sexual dysfunction sixfold.3 This discrepancy demonstrates a need for physician education in this area.


Maybe you ladies were all lucky enough to be born with a healthy sex drive, but 19-50 percent of women weren't. Yes, sexual dissatisfaction ups that number to 68-75%, but 50% is nothing to sneeze at. Unless you ladies have been spending a lot of time dating and having sex with other women, it seems to me that men would have a better perspective on this.


If you meet a lot of women like this, that sucks. That doesn't mean you should assume most women fall into this category, though.

I don't think men need to speak for women on why they're losing interest in sex. Try asking those women instead.
:thumbsup: