Topic: Twice Weekly Sex Contract...Would You Sign One?
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Sun 01/29/12 09:10 AM





No way. lol. I would never be in a reationship that involved a contract. I find it quite degrading. We're humans with feelings, not toys. I think making love should come naturally. Instead of being forced to feel it. I would think any relationship involving such a contract, isn't real love. Sounds like an excuse to have a sex slave, to me.


I know that I’ve leaving myself open for a grilling by the ‘sisterhood’ but I don’t think that the contract is degrading women.

IMO, there’s nothing wrong with a guy saying that sex is important in a relationship and that he’s not willing to remain in a sexless relationship. Maybe he could have found a better way of saying it but I personally don’t have a problem with honesty.

In the here and now, I don't think I could be in a sexless relationship!


Honesty is great, as is sex. I wouldn't want to be in a sexless relationship, either. But, a contract would be forcing sex and that's not a good thing.


I agree. I don't think that a contract to regulate the frequency of sex is a good thing either but I do understand where he is coming. from.


and I don't at all - having been in a long term marriage - where sex really wasn not one of the issues, and a 5 tr on & off again relationship where sex was an issue for me (he was clueless), and having had a couple of other shorter term boyfriends....I definitely think it's him - something he is doing...especially if it's been more than one woman. so I have absolutely no sympathy...sorry - doesn't mean I don't wish him the best - but with that attitude (he is "owed" sex) and an apparent lack of skills for keeping her interested LT, he doesn't sound like much of a prospect....


I don't think it's a case of being "owed" sex

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Sun 01/29/12 09:16 AM

Why do I get the feeling drawing up contracts reminds me of arranged marriages? Just get that vibe.


In my mind, in all relationships there is some form of agreement/expectation in place similar to a non written contract. It just depends on how it is 'delivered' for lack of a better word.

A verbal 'contract' that I expect to have with any partner (married or not)is for him/me to remain faithful as an example.

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Sun 01/29/12 09:18 AM
What exactly is the Penalty clause in this contract?????

I don't believe I read that in there.

huh

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Sun 01/29/12 09:21 AM






No way. lol. I would never be in a reationship that involved a contract. I find it quite degrading. We're humans with feelings, not toys. I think making love should come naturally. Instead of being forced to feel it. I would think any relationship involving such a contract, isn't real love. Sounds like an excuse to have a sex slave, to me.


I know that I’ve leaving myself open for a grilling by the ‘sisterhood’ but I don’t think that the contract is degrading women.

IMO, there’s nothing wrong with a guy saying that sex is important in a relationship and that he’s not willing to remain in a sexless relationship. Maybe he could have found a better way of saying it but I personally don’t have a problem with honesty.

In the here and now, I don't think I could be in a sexless relationship!


Honesty is great, as is sex. I wouldn't want to be in a sexless relationship, either. But, a contract would be forcing sex and that's not a good thing.


I agree. I don't think that a contract to regulate the frequency of sex is a good thing either but I do understand where he is coming. from.


and I don't at all - having been in a long term marriage - where sex really wasn not one of the issues, and a 5 tr on & off again relationship where sex was an issue for me (he was clueless), and having had a couple of other shorter term boyfriends....I definitely think it's him - something he is doing...especially if it's been more than one woman. so I have absolutely no sympathy...sorry - doesn't mean I don't wish him the best - but with that attitude (he is "owed" sex) and an apparent lack of skills for keeping her interested LT, he doesn't sound like much of a prospect....


I don't think it's a case of being "owed" sex


That is exactly what the contract sounds like. It seems like he believes he's owed sex because he's in a relationship/married. It's trying to force sex.

If it were just about sex being important, that would be different. But, the contract changes that.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Sun 01/29/12 09:28 AM


Why do I get the feeling drawing up contracts reminds me of arranged marriages? Just get that vibe.


In my mind, in all relationships there is some form of agreement/expectation in place similar to a non written contract. It just depends on how it is 'delivered' for lack of a better word.

A verbal 'contract' that I expect to have with any partner (married or not)is for him/me to remain faithful as an example.


Its not as easy to take their word on it anymore? I feel like this is our answer for the divorce epidemic. I think verbal is more normal than signing a contract to do something you should already be doing. Err, its different for everyone I guess. Some people can't promise they will for health reasons. I think life has exhausted our attempts after a long day of hard work.

navygirl's photo
Sun 01/29/12 09:53 AM
Sexual Dysfunction Stats: Just on a site called Natural News and this article was done in January 2009. That stats were as follows: 31 percent of men and 43 percent of women suffer from Sexual Dysfunction. I also think women are more likely to admit they have a sexual dysfunction where as men would feel embarrassed to talk about it and would feel less like a man. Now that being said; there are lots of reasons for the Dysfunctions with both sexes; including alcohol, drugs, nicotine, diabetes, stress, low estrogen, etc. So, there is no one reason for the dysfunction. Of course with all the studies being done; there is a margin of error, lack of complete diclosure by particpants, this relflects a small selection of the population that were taking these surveys which doesn't speak for the rest of the population in that given area.

no photo
Sun 01/29/12 10:07 AM

What exactly is the Penalty clause in this contract?????

I don't believe I read that in there.

huh


That wasn't mentioned in the article I originally got this from - the article pretty much focussed on the discussion similar to the one that is taking place on this thread.

no photo
Sun 01/29/12 10:08 AM







No way. lol. I would never be in a reationship that involved a contract. I find it quite degrading. We're humans with feelings, not toys. I think making love should come naturally. Instead of being forced to feel it. I would think any relationship involving such a contract, isn't real love. Sounds like an excuse to have a sex slave, to me.


I know that I’ve leaving myself open for a grilling by the ‘sisterhood’ but I don’t think that the contract is degrading women.

IMO, there’s nothing wrong with a guy saying that sex is important in a relationship and that he’s not willing to remain in a sexless relationship. Maybe he could have found a better way of saying it but I personally don’t have a problem with honesty.

In the here and now, I don't think I could be in a sexless relationship!


Honesty is great, as is sex. I wouldn't want to be in a sexless relationship, either. But, a contract would be forcing sex and that's not a good thing.


I agree. I don't think that a contract to regulate the frequency of sex is a good thing either but I do understand where he is coming. from.


and I don't at all - having been in a long term marriage - where sex really wasn not one of the issues, and a 5 tr on & off again relationship where sex was an issue for me (he was clueless), and having had a couple of other shorter term boyfriends....I definitely think it's him - something he is doing...especially if it's been more than one woman. so I have absolutely no sympathy...sorry - doesn't mean I don't wish him the best - but with that attitude (he is "owed" sex) and an apparent lack of skills for keeping her interested LT, he doesn't sound like much of a prospect....


I don't think it's a case of being "owed" sex


That is exactly what the contract sounds like. It seems like he believes he's owed sex because he's in a relationship/married. It's trying to force sex.

If it were just about sex being important, that would be different. But, the contract changes that.


Again, I think I'll just have to agree to disagree :smile:

no photo
Sun 01/29/12 10:10 AM


What exactly is the Penalty clause in this contract?????

I don't believe I read that in there.

huh


That wasn't mentioned in the article I originally got this from - the article pretty much focussed on the discussion similar to the one that is taking place on this thread.


Ty.
I would NEVER sign sush a contract nor ask anyone to sign one.
But knowing the concequences up front.....would make a difference in answering the question!!!

no photo
Sun 01/29/12 10:11 AM








No way. lol. I would never be in a reationship that involved a contract. I find it quite degrading. We're humans with feelings, not toys. I think making love should come naturally. Instead of being forced to feel it. I would think any relationship involving such a contract, isn't real love. Sounds like an excuse to have a sex slave, to me.


I know that I’ve leaving myself open for a grilling by the ‘sisterhood’ but I don’t think that the contract is degrading women.

IMO, there’s nothing wrong with a guy saying that sex is important in a relationship and that he’s not willing to remain in a sexless relationship. Maybe he could have found a better way of saying it but I personally don’t have a problem with honesty.

In the here and now, I don't think I could be in a sexless relationship!


Honesty is great, as is sex. I wouldn't want to be in a sexless relationship, either. But, a contract would be forcing sex and that's not a good thing.


I agree. I don't think that a contract to regulate the frequency of sex is a good thing either but I do understand where he is coming. from.


and I don't at all - having been in a long term marriage - where sex really wasn not one of the issues, and a 5 tr on & off again relationship where sex was an issue for me (he was clueless), and having had a couple of other shorter term boyfriends....I definitely think it's him - something he is doing...especially if it's been more than one woman. so I have absolutely no sympathy...sorry - doesn't mean I don't wish him the best - but with that attitude (he is "owed" sex) and an apparent lack of skills for keeping her interested LT, he doesn't sound like much of a prospect....


I don't think it's a case of being "owed" sex


That is exactly what the contract sounds like. It seems like he believes he's owed sex because he's in a relationship/married. It's trying to force sex.

If it were just about sex being important, that would be different. But, the contract changes that.


Again, I think I'll just have to agree to disagree :smile:


If it wasn't about being owed anything or forcing anything, there would be no contract.

no photo
Sun 01/29/12 10:31 AM
Edited by 42BlackBBW on Sun 01/29/12 10:31 AM









No way. lol. I would never be in a reationship that involved a contract. I find it quite degrading. We're humans with feelings, not toys. I think making love should come naturally. Instead of being forced to feel it. I would think any relationship involving such a contract, isn't real love. Sounds like an excuse to have a sex slave, to me.


I know that I’ve leaving myself open for a grilling by the ‘sisterhood’ but I don’t think that the contract is degrading women.

IMO, there’s nothing wrong with a guy saying that sex is important in a relationship and that he’s not willing to remain in a sexless relationship. Maybe he could have found a better way of saying it but I personally don’t have a problem with honesty.

In the here and now, I don't think I could be in a sexless relationship!


Honesty is great, as is sex. I wouldn't want to be in a sexless relationship, either. But, a contract would be forcing sex and that's not a good thing.


I agree. I don't think that a contract to regulate the frequency of sex is a good thing either but I do understand where he is coming. from.


and I don't at all - having been in a long term marriage - where sex really wasn not one of the issues, and a 5 tr on & off again relationship where sex was an issue for me (he was clueless), and having had a couple of other shorter term boyfriends....I definitely think it's him - something he is doing...especially if it's been more than one woman. so I have absolutely no sympathy...sorry - doesn't mean I don't wish him the best - but with that attitude (he is "owed" sex) and an apparent lack of skills for keeping her interested LT, he doesn't sound like much of a prospect....


I don't think it's a case of being "owed" sex


That is exactly what the contract sounds like. It seems like he believes he's owed sex because he's in a relationship/married. It's trying to force sex.

If it were just about sex being important, that would be different. But, the contract changes that.


Again, I think I'll just have to agree to disagree :smile:


If it wasn't about being owed anything or forcing anything, there would be no contract.


I don't happen to think the contract is about being "forced" or "owed". If anything, I think it's about 'his' inability to communicate what his past problems were and he’s using the contact as a means of ensuring that if there is a reason why she can’t have sex, she won’t be able to simply say that she has a headache 7 nights a week – there would have to be some form of discussion as she would have reneged on the contract. Maybe that me being naive, but that's how I chose to interpret it.

no photo
Sun 01/29/12 10:37 AM
Such a contract does indeed present an.....Obligation!!!

Yet.....there are many obligations that come with love and marriage.

Which ones do we single out and ask for contractual commitment?????

Earnig wages??????

Cleaning?????

Yardwork????

Cooking?????

Sex?????

It all comes with the territory.

Why add foolish pressure to something that becomes hard enough already??????

JMO

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Sun 01/29/12 10:41 AM
I just don't see it as any thing other than trying to force someone to have sex with him twice a week, no matter what. It's a big red flag and shows there's probably more issues going on with him than I'd ever care to deal with.

no photo
Sun 01/29/12 10:52 AM

Such a contract does indeed present an.....Obligation!!!

Yet.....there are many obligations that come with love and marriage.

Which ones do we single out and ask for contractual commitment?????

Earnig wages??????

Cleaning?????

Yardwork????

Cooking?????

Sex?????

It all comes with the territory.

Why add foolish pressure to something that becomes hard enough already??????

JMO


Such contacts exists already in most relationships married or not. They are just either verbal or implied.

no photo
Sun 01/29/12 10:52 AM

I just don't see it as any thing other than trying to force someone to have sex with him twice a week, no matter what. It's a big red flag and shows there's probably more issues going on with him than I'd ever care to deal with.


Again, we'll just have to agree to disagree :smile:

no photo
Sun 01/29/12 10:53 AM
Edited by 42BlackBBW on Sun 01/29/12 10:54 AM
oops knew I was going to double post :smile:

no photo
Sun 01/29/12 10:53 AM


Such a contract does indeed present an.....Obligation!!!

Yet.....there are many obligations that come with love and marriage.

Which ones do we single out and ask for contractual commitment?????

Earnig wages??????

Cleaning?????

Yardwork????

Cooking?????

Sex?????

It all comes with the territory.

Why add foolish pressure to something that becomes hard enough already??????

JMO


Such contacts exists already in most relationships married or not. They are just either verbal or implied.


Exactly why I ask..............Why add foolish pressure to something that Gets hard enough on it's own?????


no photo
Sun 01/29/12 10:58 AM



Such a contract does indeed present an.....Obligation!!!

Yet.....there are many obligations that come with love and marriage.

Which ones do we single out and ask for contractual commitment?????

Earnig wages??????

Cleaning?????

Yardwork????

Cooking?????

Sex?????

It all comes with the territory.

Why add foolish pressure to something that becomes hard enough already??????

JMO


Such contacts exists already in most relationships married or not. They are just either verbal or implied.


Exactly why I ask..............Why add foolish pressure to something that Gets hard enough on it's own?????




I don't disagree with you. I just looked at it from the perspective that some couples when in relationships don't always communicate especially when it comes to sex (or bad sex). I just think maybe he needed a means to communicate and came up with a stupid contract.

irisheyes79's photo
Sun 01/29/12 11:18 AM
lucky its not me it would be lackluster sex 4x a week

no photo
Sun 01/29/12 11:28 AM



I don't disagree with you. I just looked at it from the perspective that some couples when in relationships don't always communicate especially when it comes to sex (or bad sex). I just think maybe he needed a means to communicate and came up with a stupid contract.


A contract isn't going to help him communicate when it comes to sex, though. So rather than having to communicate, he wants to tell her that she must have sex with him twice a week no matter what.