Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: does marriage makes a man responsible?
whobedat Joined Sat 01/07/12 Posts: 141	Mon 01/30/12 05:36 PM
OMG!!! Uhhhhh, NO!!!! NO just like that? Let me explain. Now this is not ALL men and can petain to women also. But I will say a man, because! Some men think marriage is all about being taken care of and all the sex they want and the only thing they need to do is go to work. Then when children come along...whoooo too much responsibility. They go outside the marriage for fun because the wife is very tired...you know stuff like working, taking care of the house, the kids, all the other things. He doesn't want to help or all that responsibility so...goodbye. Sorry to sound so emphatic but I know. sounds one sided,, have u ever botherd to inquire why men would go out for fun outside the marriage? He may not be getting d needed attention he used to get before they were married, and u know, when children sets in, womens love tends to shift to the children. Making the man with no option. Though not justifiable..

MariahsFantasy Joined Mon 11/28/11 Posts: 6593	Mon 01/30/12 05:37 PM
I'll take your first answer Mach...mo realistic

machug Joined Sun 09/04/11 Posts: 6601	Mon 01/30/12 05:43 PM
OMG!!! Uhhhhh, NO!!!! NO just like that? Let me explain. Now this is not ALL men and can petain to women also. But I will say a man, because! Some men think marriage is all about being taken care of and all the sex they want and the only thing they need to do is go to work. Then when children come along...whoooo too much responsibility. They go outside the marriage for fun because the wife is very tired...you know stuff like working, taking care of the house, the kids, all the other things. He doesn't want to help or all that responsibility so...goodbye. Sorry to sound so emphatic but I know. sounds one sided,, have u ever botherd to inquire why men would go out for fun outside the marriage? He may not be getting d needed attention he used to get before they were married, and u know, when children sets in, womens love tends to shift to the children. Making the man with no option. Though not justifiable.. I think, before I blast you BIG TIME, I will leave this thread. Because you obviously did not read the last sentence I wrote!!!!!!!!!

newarkjw Joined Sun 05/25/08 Posts: 17172	Mon 01/30/12 05:47 PM
Well my great aunt Gracie always said to never trust someone with only two chickens in there barn. Not sure what she meant she was about half crazy...

RainbowTrout Joined Fri 04/06/07 Posts: 13869	Mon 01/30/12 05:50 PM
does marriage makes a man responsible and matured? It can cause all sorts of problems like responsibility and maturity. I take it you are looking at marriage from a cause and effect angle. Responsibility and maturation can be looked at differently even though they seem alike. A man that goes to work which can be looked at as being responsible and matured. Some men have done this without being married. A married man comes home after being at work can think that work time is over. A married man with children who comes home from work who is matured knows that he is coming home from work to home at work. To be responsible he can ask the question when does work end.

Teditis Joined Sun 03/07/10 Posts: 3597	Mon 01/30/12 05:52 PM
Well my great aunt Gracie always said to never trust someone with only two chickens in there barn. Not sure what she meant she was about half crazy... Very aprapos... 2 chickens... for cryin out loud!

heavenlyboy34 Joined Fri 07/04/08 Posts: 17348	Mon 01/30/12 06:02 PM
does marriage makes a man responsible and matured? lol, I sure hope not! I'm trying to make my immaturity last a lifetime!

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Mon 01/30/12 06:14 PM
does marriage makes a man responsible and matured? lol, I sure hope not! I'm trying to make my immaturity last a lifetime!

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 01/30/12 06:16 PM Edited by msharmony on Mon 01/30/12 06:18 PM
OMG!!! Uhhhhh, NO!!!! NO just like that? Let me explain. Now this is not ALL men and can petain to women also. But I will say a man, because! Some men think marriage is all about being taken care of and all the sex they want and the only thing they need to do is go to work. Then when children come along...whoooo too much responsibility. They go outside the marriage for fun because the wife is very tired...you know stuff like working, taking care of the house, the kids, all the other things. He doesn't want to help or all that responsibility so...goodbye. Sorry to sound so emphatic but I know. sounds one sided,, have u ever botherd to inquire why men would go out for fun outside the marriage? He may not be getting d needed attention he used to get before they were married, and u know, when children sets in, womens love tends to shift to the children. Making the man with no option. Though not justifiable.. that has little to do with 'growing up' growing up requires that one WORKS on the problems at home, not use them as an excuse to stray,,, not to mention how men often stray because they can and not because of something wrong with their spouse or their home,,,

justme659 Joined Wed 10/03/07 Posts: 6144	Mon 01/30/12 06:21 PM Edited by justme659 on Mon 01/30/12 06:25 PM
sounds one sided,, have u ever botherd to inquire why men would go out for fun outside the marriage? He may not be getting d needed attention he used to get before they were married, and u know, when children sets in, womens love tends to shift to the children. Making the man with no option. Though not justifiable.. Ok here is where I step in and you get to see my head blow off. Where in the world can one person in a marriage relationship with children, blame another person in that marriage for "not getting enough attention?" A woman's love does NOT shift from her husband to her children. HER responsibilities shifts to the children. That is all. And if the male person in this marriage feels neglected he needs to grow the fu@k up. He helped with the conception of those children, his responsiblities do not stop there. His responsiblities do not stop at bringing home the bacon. But on many occasions it does and the woman feels overwhelmed. MEN and WOMEN always have options, the problem they take the EASY way out and look for the FUN option. AND you can quote me, "Life is not always fun when you are raising children in a marriage." Fun comes back AFTER the kids are grown and have left the home. Sheesh. A mature, responsible person will understand this. In my opinion, this should be tatooed on the forheads of every person having children. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU ANYMORE! ITS ABOUT RAISING YOUNG PEOPLE TO RESPONSIBLE ADULTHOOD. ( Long tatoo I know ) After that job is done, then the fun can begin for a couple in a marriage.

RainbowTrout Joined Fri 04/06/07 Posts: 13869	Mon 01/30/12 06:35 PM
sounds one sided,, have u ever botherd to inquire why men would go out for fun outside the marriage? He may not be getting d needed attention he used to get before they were married, and u know, when children sets in, womens love tends to shift to the children. Making the man with no option. Though not justifiable.. Ok here is where I step in and you get to see my head blow off. Where in the world can one person in a marriage relationship with children, blame another person in that marriage for "not getting enough attention?" A woman's love does NOT shift from her husband to her children. HER responsibilities shifts to the children. That is all. And if the male person in this marriage feels neglected he needs to grow the fu@k up. He helped with the conception of those children, his responsiblities do not stop there. His responsiblities do not stop at bringing home the bacon. But on many occasions it does and the woman feels overwhelmed. MEN and WOMEN always have options, the problem they take the EASY way out and look for the FUN option. AND you can quote me, "Life is not always fun when you are raising children in a marriage." Fun comes back AFTER the kids are grown and have left the home. Sheesh. A mature, responsible person will understand this. In my opinion, this should be tatooed on the forheads of every person having children. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU ANYMORE! ITS ABOUT RAISING YOUNG PEOPLE TO RESPONSIBLE ADULTHOOD. ( Long tatoo I know ) After that job is done, then the fun can begin for a couple in a marriage. Kudos. What a wonderful way to look at reincarnation since a lot of kids take their time in growing up and leaving the home. After the reincarnation some may prefer to skip the married route unless they want to go through the same event again.

whobedat Joined Sat 01/07/12 Posts: 141	Mon 01/30/12 06:36 PM
in as much as i was expressing my views, i am also entitled to it, sorry if i aggravated you msharmony.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 01/30/12 06:38 PM
nothing to apologize for, I am not aggravated at all

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 01/30/12 06:38 PM Edited by msharmony on Mon 01/30/12 06:39 PM
nothing to apologize for, I am not aggravated at all you are definitely entitled to your views, I only specified an opinion concerning GENDER, because that is how the question was posed I in no way am expressing an opinion that these issues only apply to men

paul1217 Joined Fri 01/29/10 Posts: 904	Mon 01/30/12 06:39 PM
sounds one sided,, have u ever botherd to inquire why men would go out for fun outside the marriage? He may not be getting d needed attention he used to get before they were married, and u know, when children sets in, womens love tends to shift to the children. Making the man with no option. Though not justifiable.. Ok here is where I step in and you get to see my head blow off. Where in the world can one person in a marriage relationship with children, blame another person in that marriage for "not getting enough attention?" A woman's love does NOT shift from her husband to her children. HER responsibilities shifts to the children. That is all. And if the male person in this marriage feels neglected he needs to grow the fu@k up. He helped with the conception of those children, his responsiblities do not stop there. His responsiblities do not stop at bringing home the bacon. But on many occasions it does and the woman feels overwhelmed. MEN and WOMEN always have options, the problem they take the EASY way out and look for the FUN option. AND you can quote me, "Life is not always fun when you are raising children in a marriage." Fun comes back AFTER the kids are grown and have left the home. Sheesh. A mature, responsible person will understand this. I realize that this may be the case in many situations and I am aware that in the majority of cases it is probably the male to blame. The problem is that this is one of the reasons that the men who do not fall into this category have such a difficult time in the dating world. When my ex was pregnant she had complications that required her to be on absolute bed rest. During this time, I worked, took care of the house, made dinner, did the laundry and then drove 45 minutes to see my ex who had to stay with her parents so there was someone to take care of her while I was working. After our daughter was born, my ex would take care of her while I was working, and the minute I came home she would hand me my daughter and take a needed break. An hour later she would ask me what was for dinner, so I would cook the meal, clean up, do laundry and go put my daughter to sleep. Then I would pass out, so I could start again the next day. This went on for about 4 months while my ex recovered from an emergency c section. After she regained a little of her strength she came down with Epstein Barr and was exhausted for another month. When she finally recovered from that she walked out because she was " Tired of being stuck home all the time with no money" Not saying that some men are not swine, but this is a dating site, how about giving the rest of us a fighting chance?

Dragoness Joined Wed 10/17/07 Posts: 23320	Mon 01/30/12 06:39 PM
does marriage makes a man responsible and matured? Only if he is already a responsible mature man.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 01/30/12 06:40 PM
sounds one sided,, have u ever botherd to inquire why men would go out for fun outside the marriage? He may not be getting d needed attention he used to get before they were married, and u know, when children sets in, womens love tends to shift to the children. Making the man with no option. Though not justifiable.. Ok here is where I step in and you get to see my head blow off. Where in the world can one person in a marriage relationship with children, blame another person in that marriage for "not getting enough attention?" A woman's love does NOT shift from her husband to her children. HER responsibilities shifts to the children. That is all. And if the male person in this marriage feels neglected he needs to grow the fu@k up. He helped with the conception of those children, his responsiblities do not stop there. His responsiblities do not stop at bringing home the bacon. But on many occasions it does and the woman feels overwhelmed. MEN and WOMEN always have options, the problem they take the EASY way out and look for the FUN option. AND you can quote me, "Life is not always fun when you are raising children in a marriage." Fun comes back AFTER the kids are grown and have left the home. Sheesh. A mature, responsible person will understand this. I realize that this may be the case in many situations and I am aware that in the majority of cases it is probably the male to blame. The problem is that this is one of the reasons that the men who do not fall into this category have such a difficult time in the dating world. When my ex was pregnant she had complications that required her to be on absolute bed rest. During this time, I worked, took care of the house, made dinner, did the laundry and then drove 45 minutes to see my ex who had to stay with her parents so there was someone to take care of her while I was working. After our daughter was born, my ex would take care of her while I was working, and the minute I came home she would hand me my daughter and take a needed break. An hour later she would ask me what was for dinner, so I would cook the meal, clean up, do laundry and go put my daughter to sleep. Then I would pass out, so I could start again the next day. This went on for about 4 months while my ex recovered from an emergency c section. After she regained a little of her strength she came down with Epstein Barr and was exhausted for another month. When she finally recovered from that she walked out because she was " Tired of being stuck home all the time with no money" Not saying that some men are not swine, but this is a dating site, how about giving the rest of us a fighting chance? absolutely, some men mature after marriage and some dont,,

paul1217 Joined Fri 01/29/10 Posts: 904	Mon 01/30/12 06:49 PM
sounds one sided,, have u ever botherd to inquire why men would go out for fun outside the marriage? He may not be getting d needed attention he used to get before they were married, and u know, when children sets in, womens love tends to shift to the children. Making the man with no option. Though not justifiable.. Ok here is where I step in and you get to see my head blow off. Where in the world can one person in a marriage relationship with children, blame another person in that marriage for "not getting enough attention?" A woman's love does NOT shift from her husband to her children. HER responsibilities shifts to the children. That is all. And if the male person in this marriage feels neglected he needs to grow the fu@k up. He helped with the conception of those children, his responsiblities do not stop there. His responsiblities do not stop at bringing home the bacon. But on many occasions it does and the woman feels overwhelmed. MEN and WOMEN always have options, the problem they take the EASY way out and look for the FUN option. AND you can quote me, "Life is not always fun when you are raising children in a marriage." Fun comes back AFTER the kids are grown and have left the home. Sheesh. A mature, responsible person will understand this. I realize that this may be the case in many situations and I am aware that in the majority of cases it is probably the male to blame. The problem is that this is one of the reasons that the men who do not fall into this category have such a difficult time in the dating world. When my ex was pregnant she had complications that required her to be on absolute bed rest. During this time, I worked, took care of the house, made dinner, did the laundry and then drove 45 minutes to see my ex who had to stay with her parents so there was someone to take care of her while I was working. After our daughter was born, my ex would take care of her while I was working, and the minute I came home she would hand me my daughter and take a needed break. An hour later she would ask me what was for dinner, so I would cook the meal, clean up, do laundry and go put my daughter to sleep. Then I would pass out, so I could start again the next day. This went on for about 4 months while my ex recovered from an emergency c section. After she regained a little of her strength she came down with Epstein Barr and was exhausted for another month. When she finally recovered from that she walked out because she was " Tired of being stuck home all the time with no money" Not saying that some men are not swine, but this is a dating site, how about giving the rest of us a fighting chance? absolutely, some men mature after marriage and some dont,, Marriage had nothing to do with my maturing. Every man and every woman either mature and take responsibility for their actions or they don't. Why is it that if a man who was married is mature, it was the marriage (or the woman) that caused the maturity. If the man matures is it necessarily the woman's achievement for making him mature? And if he doesn't mature it has to be his fault. Some men mature before they get married, some men take responsibility for and provide for their children, because it is the right thing to do and that is the way they were raised. Maturity is probably more of a result of the man, or woman's, upbringing than the contribution of their spouse.

justme659 Joined Wed 10/03/07 Posts: 6144	Mon 01/30/12 06:59 PM Edited by justme659 on Mon 01/30/12 07:00 PM
I realize that this may be the case in many situations and I am aware that in the majority of cases it is probably the male to blame. The problem is that this is one of the reasons that the men who do not fall into this category have such a difficult time in the dating world. When my ex was pregnant she had complications that required her to be on absolute bed rest. During this time, I worked, took care of the house, made dinner, did the laundry and then drove 45 minutes to see my ex who had to stay with her parents so there was someone to take care of her while I was working. After our daughter was born, my ex would take care of her while I was working, and the minute I came home she would hand me my daughter and take a needed break. An hour later she would ask me what was for dinner, so I would cook the meal, clean up, do laundry and go put my daughter to sleep. Then I would pass out, so I could start again the next day. This went on for about 4 months while my ex recovered from an emergency c section. After she regained a little of her strength she came down with Epstein Barr and was exhausted for another month. When she finally recovered from that she walked out because she was " Tired of being stuck home all the time with no money" Not saying that some men are not swine, but this is a dating site, how about giving the rest of us a fighting chance? I know that there are a great many men out there that are fathers and husbands that do step up and are responsable. But they made that choice to do the responsible thing. Marriage, children, your parents, your boss, your spiritual guide and your cat/dog can not make anyone be responsible, male or female. It a choice a person makes when they are mature. They made that choice when they realised that fun would be back later after the kids are grown and raised.

TBRich Joined Fri 11/07/08 Posts: 8232	Mon 01/30/12 07:12 PM
No, but buying the %$#@ a house and minivan and heating oil, electric, trash, sewer, water, groceries, cable, clothes, oh excuse me...err, eh, marriage :p