Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: does marriage makes a man responsible?
TBRich Joined Fri 11/07/08 Posts: 8232	Mon 01/30/12 07:12 PM Edited by TBRich on Mon 01/30/12 07:16 PM
Hmmmm, I seem to be double posting tonight, prolly should go to bed. But, what is your opinion on this- saw a new client today, his wife said, oooh he always had a real bad temper. So out of 5 elderly couples, that is 5 for 5 still married in their 70s/80s, where the husband had a "real bad temper"

RainbowTrout Joined Fri 04/06/07 Posts: 13869	Mon 01/30/12 07:14 PM
Hmmm. Fun before marriage; Children growing up then fun, again. One just has to suffer 18 or so years. Hmmm. Why would anyone want to get married and have children?

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Mon 01/30/12 07:15 PM
OMG!!! Uhhhhh, NO!!!! NO just like that? Let me explain. Now this is not ALL men and can petain to women also. But I will say a man, because! Some men think marriage is all about being taken care of and all the sex they want and the only thing they need to do is go to work. Then when children come along...whoooo too much responsibility. They go outside the marriage for fun because the wife is very tired...you know stuff like working, taking care of the house, the kids, all the other things. He doesn't want to help or all that responsibility so...goodbye. Sorry to sound so emphatic but I know. sounds one sided,, have u ever botherd to inquire why men would go out for fun outside the marriage? He may not be getting d needed attention he used to get before they were married, and u know, when children sets in, womens love tends to shift to the children. Making the man with no option. Though not justifiable.. if a man gets married and has children he is equally responsible to help take care of them. that way his wife will not be so tired. both partners deserve the love and affection of each other. Men are wonderful and beautiful parents...and so fun! when they let themselves be the nurturing fathers that God and nature intended it is such a wondereful thing to see. men &(women as moms) who bypass or shirk this responsibility miss one of the true gifts life has to offer: The enjoyment of ones children. If a man marries, he has taken a vow to remain with his woman and not go outside the marriage. He must take care to set a good example for his sons and the more he shares household burdens with the wife - the more energy they will have for each other. A wife needs a partner not a man who is little more than another child in the home - helpless and needy And a woman also needs to do what she can to save some time for her husband. It's best to remember that the marital bond is the primary family bond and must be preserved as the priority for the family to be healthy and happy! So both partners are responsible to each other and to the health of their bond. I hope this helps.

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Mon 01/30/12 07:26 PM
does marriage makes a man responsible and matured? It might make him more mature and responsible ,but he has to start off that way.

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Mon 01/30/12 07:32 PM
does marriage makes a man responsible and matured? Depends on his existing age and maturity. Some turn into terrible two's and get worse.

iam4u Joined Fri 10/13/06 Posts: 30096	Mon 01/30/12 07:40 PM
does marriage makes a man responsible and matured? About as MUCH as drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette does..? Marriage USE to mean a GREAT DEAL,,,Then many people started using THAT,,as a ploy to hang on to,,yet STILL do their cheatings and abuses and using that against their other.. NOW,,marriage is more NOT MUCH at all to many young people? in my reads on HERE anyway?

machug Joined Sun 09/04/11 Posts: 6601	Mon 01/30/12 11:25 PM
sounds one sided,, have u ever botherd to inquire why men would go out for fun outside the marriage? He may not be getting d needed attention he used to get before they were married, and u know, when children sets in, womens love tends to shift to the children. Making the man with no option. Though not justifiable.. Ok here is where I step in and you get to see my head blow off. Where in the world can one person in a marriage relationship with children, blame another person in that marriage for "not getting enough attention?" A woman's love does NOT shift from her husband to her children. HER responsibilities shifts to the children. That is all. And if the male person in this marriage feels neglected he needs to grow the fu@k up. He helped with the conception of those children, his responsiblities do not stop there. His responsiblities do not stop at bringing home the bacon. But on many occasions it does and the woman feels overwhelmed. MEN and WOMEN always have options, the problem they take the EASY way out and look for the FUN option. AND you can quote me, "Life is not always fun when you are raising children in a marriage." Fun comes back AFTER the kids are grown and have left the home. Sheesh. A mature, responsible person will understand this. In my opinion, this should be tatooed on the forheads of every person having children. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU ANYMORE! ITS ABOUT RAISING YOUNG PEOPLE TO RESPONSIBLE ADULTHOOD. ( Long tatoo I know ) After that job is done, then the fun can begin for a couple in a marriage. THANK YOU! If the male feels neglected, he needs to help with the responsibilities and extra work so that his wife WILL have time to give him affection. If the wife works full time, comes homes and puts in another 6-8 hours with no help...oh sure she should give up the 3-4 hrs sleep she will get to please him??? The other thing that made me very angry is...is 25 freaking years long enough to have explored all options, tried everything to make things work, LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU!!!!!

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 01/30/12 11:29 PM
I realize that this may be the case in many situations and I am aware that in the majority of cases it is probably the male to blame. The problem is that this is one of the reasons that the men who do not fall into this category have such a difficult time in the dating world. When my ex was pregnant she had complications that required her to be on absolute bed rest. During this time, I worked, took care of the house, made dinner, did the laundry and then drove 45 minutes to see my ex who had to stay with her parents so there was someone to take care of her while I was working. After our daughter was born, my ex would take care of her while I was working, and the minute I came home she would hand me my daughter and take a needed break. An hour later she would ask me what was for dinner, so I would cook the meal, clean up, do laundry and go put my daughter to sleep. Then I would pass out, so I could start again the next day. This went on for about 4 months while my ex recovered from an emergency c section. After she regained a little of her strength she came down with Epstein Barr and was exhausted for another month. When she finally recovered from that she walked out because she was " Tired of being stuck home all the time with no money" Not saying that some men are not swine, but this is a dating site, how about giving the rest of us a fighting chance? I know that there are a great many men out there that are fathers and husbands that do step up and are responsable. But they made that choice to do the responsible thing. Marriage, children, your parents, your boss, your spiritual guide and your cat/dog can not make anyone be responsible, male or female. It a choice a person makes when they are mature. They made that choice when they realised that fun would be back later after the kids are grown and raised. I think people are always changing and always have POTENTIAL to become better and more mature,, I think for many, marriage or parenthood are a great MOTIVATOR for them to tap into that potential...for others it doesnt motivate them to make such progress at all but causes them to hold on tighter to their PREVIOUS state of maturity/immaturity

eileena9 Joined Fri 04/13/07 Posts: 28211	Mon 01/30/12 11:57 PM Edited by eileena9 on Mon 01/30/12 11:58 PM
does marriage makes a man responsible and matured? This may just be my thoughts and opinions, but I won't even THINK of marrying him if he is NOT mature and responsible!!!! Maybe more marriages would last if BOTH parties started out that way before vows were spoken.

Shy_Emo_chick Joined Fri 04/01/11 Posts: 4393	Tue 01/31/12 09:18 AM
Why should only the MAN be responsible? Heck no. Treat other equally, goddamnit. I see too much of everything being done in the divorced wife's favour, yet a divorced man hardly gets anything from the divorce. I don't think that's how it should work. Why should the ex wife always get more than their ex husband? I've seen a lot of men complain about this. Never mind women's rights. Whatever happened to MEN'S rights? It should be equal. Not more for one gender.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Tue 01/31/12 09:25 AM
does marriage makes a man responsible and matured? If a guy isn't responsible and mature before marriage, I can't see that automatically changing afterward.

TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76374	Tue 01/31/12 09:43 AM
Not just no but hell no........if they are not prior to marriage afterwards will not make much difference....this is for either sex..... It is all in the way one is raised and how they take control of their life....

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Tue 01/31/12 09:49 AM
does marriage makes a man responsible and matured? Ask all the ones that are divorced and running around with a younger woman.

InvictusV Joined Sun 11/23/08 Posts: 5282	Tue 01/31/12 09:49 AM
It would make me more irresponsible if that was actually possible.. The jury is still out on that one..

irisheyes79 Joined Sat 11/10/07 Posts: 16745	Wed 02/01/12 06:48 AM
lemme answer that in short no but we sometimes think we do responsible things well atleast i didnt

josie68 Joined Mon 11/22/10 Posts: 6270	Wed 02/01/12 01:24 PM
You grow up when you are ready , nothing changes that.

pyxxie13 Joined Wed 09/28/11 Posts: 3835	Wed 02/01/12 03:05 PM
Marriage doesn't make anyone grow up. However, I do hope that most people try to mature when they do.