I consider myself fairly intelligent because of some abilities that I possess.

What the hell is this? I think myself dumb sometimes!!

Whenever someone enforces me to do some work that I don't want to do,It is so hard for me to say no.

Knowing this of my week point (inability to say NO) I studied & practiced some techniques to SAY NO.It helped me somewhat but still in intense situations I find myself unable to say no.Even if I manage to to do so,my response is so mild that the person attacks & tries his tricks to catch me there....hell no,I must change myself...I don't want myself to be like this.....OUT OF MIND...

There are thousands of questions in mind...

What exactly shall I change
why shall I change myself for others?

Normally,I love myself as & how I am.I don't wish to change any bit of myself.

Where do my intelligence go,when it comes to tackle with tricky people?

Do my nature overcomes my abilities & intelligence?

I think,I usually remain mentally unprepared for such situations & my normal operating system isn't built like that to respond quickly to tricky attacks.

Do you have any tips for me to improve on this?

the only constant in life is change...

Learning to say NO can move you light years ahead in managing your time. ...
Unable to personally say no is not a sign of lack of intelligence or incapability.....its more like Immaturity is the inability to use one's understanding to say no and keep to it or maybe you could feel guilt on not helping the person or feel threating that you may lose the friend if you don't help but if i were you i would be strong and have more self esteem and make your NO NO and yes yes and they can't trick you then lollllll only thing is don't let people put you on a guilt trip or try and trick you cause they not true friends IF THEY ALWAYS DO THAT maybe you need new friends then that accept your NO for NO and yes for yes good luck my friend cheers

No.
Easy :-)

I was terribly torturing myself when I wasn't saying NO to anything & anybody.

One day I realized that it is not an offense to say NO.

I experienced that people don't always take NO negatively.

I wondered when they appreciated my NO.

Despite of learning & experimenting 'SAYING NO' still I hesitate to say NO on time. I'm hard working & honest guy.I never avoid work,in fact always remains too busy with work to know what other unwanted,unexpected things are coming to me...

If you're talking about saying no to your boss when he/she asks you to do more work, then I think you have to be very careful. You have to understand how your boss will take it if you refuse. Maybe you would be fired or have a poor review. If you don't want those things to happen, then you're probably going to have to say yes. But you could ask for an assistant, or ask whether this new work should be your highest priority, or whether there is a deadline. Or say that you can't get it done within your regular work day, and would you be paid for overtime? Always being polite, of course.

If you're talking about your ordinary daily life, then it's easier. One thing I discovered was that you do not have to have rage in your heart to say no. You don't have to believe that you are a good no-sayer to say no. You just have to say the word. "No." You don't have to explain why. You can say, "No, I'm sorry but no." Sometimes people will keep asking over and over, but if you know in your heart that "no" is the right answer for you, just say it. They'll give up after a few tries. Or if not, you can just walk away.

Just say the word. People will take you at your word if you don't dither.

It doesn't really have anything to do with intelligence, although I understand what you mean about that. You do feel dumb for giving in when you don't want to. But that's not about intelligence, it's about being a doormat.

Which part of...NO

are you struggling with???

Is it the N or the O????

It is about balance Prash.

Sillyness with seriousnes...

Good and bad.

Right and wrong.


It is about Karma.

Just be the best man you can be Prashant.....you are my friend.

Tommorrow, be a better man.

Whatshisname, Krupa, is saying something here, Prash.

Of course saying by someone else does nothing for you, and we should all know that.

BUT!!

It just came to me that I had an increase in my ability to say the word I hadn't been able to, after a series of sessions with a good hypnotist.

He did not analyze me. It was not hypnoanalysis. He just suggested to me, in half hour sessions at a time, that next day, and from then onwards, I will be better, my ability to see situations more objectively will be better, my ability to come up with the right things to say will be better and faster, etc. etc.

It worked for me. This was the only therapy in hypnotism that worked for me.

Hypnotherapy by the same guy did nothing for me to lose weight or to quit smoking.

I wish there were also hypnotherapy how to seem sexy and attractive to women.

But back to serious, prashant, this exact same problem that I had had, which you struggle with now, was solved in five hypnotherapy sessions.

I guess hypnotherapy does not work for those things that are impulse-related, but they work for those things that are essentially involved in only one's own mind. These things are those things that have their origins in your own mind, live their lives out in your own mind, and die in your own mind.

You can't govern your mind, and much less can you govern when to feel hungry, and you can't at all control when to raise your arm in front of you in defence when someone raises a hand at you all of a sudden, but you can get help in rearranging those things in your head that concern only you, and nobody else. Those things which are caused by nothing but your mind, and are not going to influence anything else but your own mind.

I guess your never saying no to a request affects others and you as well beyind just your mind. BUT it is not "no" you want to overcome, but the INABILITY to say no. Even that won't get helped by hypnotherapy. What hypnotherapy will help is the thing that commands you to be unable to say "no".

There are three things here:
- saying no (which you can't right now) -- can't be helped directly by hypnotherapy
- inability to say no (the thing that stops you from successfully saying no) -- can't be helped directly by hypnotherapy
- and a thing that disables a part of you that makes you unable to say no. -- maybe can be helped by hypnotherapy

In this case the relationship between you and that part of your mind which is malfunctioning due to some stoppage or forbidding, which are ONLY parts of your mind. These the hypnotherapy can help. The other stuff is residual, sort of collateral effect.

BUT you must not take my words for holy scriptures. If you go into hypnotherapy, and this things works, fine, I'll be happy. But if you go into hypnotherapy and come out still unable to say no, then please don't sue me.

In other words, I claim no predicted success ratio for you; whether you want to act on my suggestion, is your business, not mine, and I rescind any responsibility for the success of your therapy. In contrast, I also shall never claim any part of a success; I shall never say "Prash got to be able to say no because I helped him" and will never say things similar to this, and things that insinuate the same meaning.

So.........

You are saying I ain't wrong.

Cool Brother Wux!

Get a grip on yourself, guy. You are going all mushy. You can't do this in front of all these people.

Think of what your good old great-grandmother will think. Back, down home, in the churchyard, in the rich hummus of the old country. In Poland mushy guys are roasted for good luck on Midsommer nights and to guarantee a good harvest that year.

Granted we live in a new and improved culture now, but still, you must remember your roots, and never diss them.

Communist politics killed the religious content from treatments of mushy guys in Poland, but to this day still their bowels get to be made daisy-chain neclaces for little girls, and their scrotums are made to be castanettes for the National Folk Dancer's association Ball.

our heart/compassion often overrules our intelligence/logic

But I like mushy guys. They make terrific pillows.

A strong shoulder to cry on
To soak up my tears
A gentle stroke of his hand
To brush away my fears

Those moments I spent
Gathering courage, strength
On his lavender muscles
Gave me the meaning that meant
Something.

Man searches and searches
For the meaning of life
But life hides in molecular structures
And in satisfied, gorgeous little sighs.

For you, Bravalady.

This is real.

I feel bad & very improper to refuse doing some work.

Heading a technical service department,I always keep flexibility in work scope & put in my best effort to get all work done,but it irritates when the work which is well within some others predetermined scope is being told to me without any valid problem with that fellow to work.

It irritates may because of their mentality to push work,to feel inferior to work.

Currently the work which is being told to me is unethical & dangerous too & I'm being pressurized by some tricks to do that.I denied,but I know even if they get it done by some one else,I remain answerable for the work done.Knowing this,I'm being unable to say NO strongly,I wish to prevent them from doing so,but they aren't discussing the problem openly with me,they just want me to get the work done.