If you want to see what Texas looks like, just watch the movie "Giant". It's gotta be one of the uggliest states in the entire USA. I'd take Cal any day.

Growing up, I was extremely thin. It's not that I was starving myself; in fact I loved to eat. But no matter how much food I consumed, I never was able to budge from a size zero.

For much of my adolescence, my peers ridiculed me because of my size. As a teen, when everyone my age was starting to fill out and develop curves, I remained considerably thin. It took a toll on my confidence.

The issue of my weight reached a boiling point one summer day when I decided to wear shorts, which I'd never dared before; I was too self-conscious. Two men yelled at me from across the street, "Take those shorts off; you’re too skinny for that!" I was humiliated. Sure, I tried to laugh it off, but nothing was remotely funny about how I had been made to feel. After that day, I made it a point to never don a pair of shorts or a short skirt again.

Being "too thin" may sound like a problem most women would give anything to have, but my reality was different. As a woman of mixed heritage, my culture places a greater emphasis on being curvy. I've never held myself to the mainstream standard of beauty: being skinny. But I am. Back then, even more so — and it was a liability. . .




. . . It slowly dawned on me what a strong influence a person's culture can have on her perception of beauty — and how, if I had been born into a different culture, I would never have experienced all of those body insecurities growing up.

As you might have guessed, those guys who ridiculed me for looking too skinny in my shorts were men of color, like me. If it were a group of caucasian men on the corner that day, odds are I would be telling a whole different story. That's not to say every single person is a prisoner to the culture he or she grew up in, but it’s hard to argue the idea that heritage heavily influences what we what we find attractive. It's funny how I could feel so out of place all those years just because I was someone else's idea of beautiful instead of my own.

Self-confidence can only START with an attitude change. You need to have something to base the attitude on, in order to really feel confident. So if you can write well, but have trouble speaking in public, practice reading what you've written. In front of a mirror, alone in your bedroom, whatever. Keep it really short at first. Maybe you could ask your best friend to help you role play a little.

One important part of the attitude change is to keep reminding yourself how much better you'll feel after you've been successful. Praise yourself for what you've done right, and be easy on yourself about the things that didn't go so well. We're always harder on ourselves than anyone else is.