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Topic: No Sex No Date But Still Friends?
THERedKiba Joined Mon 05/07/12 Posts: 25	Wed 07/04/12 05:59 AM
So there is this girl that just recently admitted that she liked me and pretty much put it on the table that she wanted me to ask her out.I think this girl is really cute,but she is still heavily apprehensive about sex.I can't even crack a dirty joke here or there without it getting awkwardly silent.I really like her and she is a great friend,but a big preference I have is that for me to date a girl she should know what sex is like and like to do it. My dilemma in a nutshell: I want to remain good friends with her cause I like hanging out with her,HOWEVER,(this makes me sound piggish) I won't date her because she is too shy about sex.Should I tell her this and be honest why I won't date her right now and tell her I still want our friendship or should I blandly ignore her advances?Please don't judge me too hard by what I just said cause my rivers do run alil deeper than people understand.Its just a personal preference for me.So..What do I do?

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Wed 07/04/12 06:01 AM
You should date her. She just wants to make sure it's you before she "does it." Sex isn't everything.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Wed 07/04/12 06:07 AM
honestly , if she is a 'good friend', it should be no issue to explain your preference if she isnt already aware my very BEST friend was a male, we were both attracted to each other, but I knew how much he LOVED sex and how seductive he could be (Because he shared those stories with me as his friend) and he knew I was old fashioned so we never did 'date',,,,and we had the best friendship ever true friends should be able to put those things on the table to spare each other wasted time or hurt feelings,,,

THERedKiba Joined Mon 05/07/12 Posts: 25	Wed 07/04/12 06:08 AM
you both have really good points and thats how im torn right now lol.thank you both though :)

Jtevans Joined Fri 08/10/07 Posts: 30654	Wed 07/04/12 06:08 AM
just sit her down and tell her.if she's wanting to date you,there's no sense in having her wonder to herself what's wrong with her and why you won't date her

THERedKiba Joined Mon 05/07/12 Posts: 25	Wed 07/04/12 06:13 AM
just sit her down and tell her.if she's wanting to date you,there's no sense in having her wonder to herself what's wrong with her and why you won't date her see thats what i really want to avoid,so im alil worried that if i tell her why thats exactly what will happen.

Jtevans Joined Fri 08/10/07 Posts: 30654	Wed 07/04/12 06:14 AM
just sit her down and tell her.if she's wanting to date you,there's no sense in having her wonder to herself what's wrong with her and why you won't date her see thats what i really want to avoid,so im alil worried that if i tell her why thats exactly what will happen. there's no harm in being honest and open with her though

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Wed 07/04/12 06:15 AM
You have to use a lot of tact if you tell her.

THERedKiba Joined Mon 05/07/12 Posts: 25	Wed 07/04/12 06:18 AM
You have to use a lot of tact if you tell her. will the George Costanza "its not you,its me" routine suffice?

blueeyes2000 Joined Thu 11/08/07 Posts: 1517	Wed 07/04/12 06:18 AM
just sit her down and tell her.if she's wanting to date you,there's no sense in having her wonder to herself what's wrong with her and why you won't date her see thats what i really want to avoid,so im alil worried that if i tell her why thats exactly what will happen. there's no harm in being honest and open with her though that's probably the best way to go, letting things go as they can are just going to get harder and more awkward. Could lead to a strained friendship maybe.

michiganman3 Joined Mon 10/29/07 Posts: 14521	Wed 07/04/12 06:26 AM
You have to use a lot of tact if you tell her. will the George Costanza "its not you,its me" routine suffice? Hopefully there will be no "shrinkage" Ask her out, go very slow about the sex stuff, go out a couple of times, and don't push it. See what happens, if there is no connection on that level you can still be good friends. Once you start the sex, there is no 'just friends' anymore. At least I never could do that. Good Luck.

THERedKiba Joined Mon 05/07/12 Posts: 25	Wed 07/04/12 06:28 AM
You have to use a lot of tact if you tell her. will the George Costanza "its not you,its me" routine suffice? Hopefully there will be no "shrinkage" Ask her out, go very slow about the sex stuff, go out a couple of times, and don't push it. See what happens, if there is no connection on that level you can still be good friends. Once you start the sex, there is no 'just friends' anymore. At least I never could do that. Good Luck. haha It was the pool!I was in the pool! And thank you all for the good advice

s1owhand Joined Fri 05/18/07 Posts: 29437	Wed 07/04/12 06:34 AM
Go out with her and have the best times ever. Cut all dirty jokes and sex talk. Avoid touching her most of the time but smile and look deep into her eyes. Drives them CrAzY.

Totage Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 24210	Wed 07/04/12 06:41 AM
So there is this girl that just recently admitted that she liked me and pretty much put it on the table that she wanted me to ask her out.I think this girl is really cute,but she is still heavily apprehensive about sex.I can't even crack a dirty joke here or there without it getting awkwardly silent.I really like her and she is a great friend,but a big preference I have is that for me to date a girl she should know what sex is like and like to do it. My dilemma in a nutshell: I want to remain good friends with her cause I like hanging out with her,HOWEVER,(this makes me sound piggish) I won't date her because she is too shy about sex.Should I tell her this and be honest why I won't date her right now and tell her I still want our friendship or should I blandly ignore her advances?Please don't judge me too hard by what I just said cause my rivers do run alil deeper than people understand.Its just a personal preference for me.So..What do I do? You don't have to tell her you won't date her because she's too shy about sex, but be honest that you are interested in her as a friend only. There is a gentle way of telling the truth.

TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76360	Wed 07/04/12 06:48 AM
Hummm so the truth is you just want a roll in the hay and she wants more then that. Which your not willing to do...I say be honest with her your not into her as much as she is into you. And that you have no desire to be in a sexless relationship...

lilcountrygrl Joined Tue 05/15/12 Posts: 25	Wed 07/04/12 06:53 AM
I agree with totage. It may avoid any hurt feelings. If you both don't want the same thing it will never develop into anything. Just stay friends, no need to ruin a good thing.

s1owhand Joined Fri 05/18/07 Posts: 29437	Wed 07/04/12 07:00 AM
So there is this girl that just recently admitted that she liked me and pretty much put it on the table that she wanted me to ask her out.I think this girl is really cute,but she is still heavily apprehensive about sex.I can't even crack a dirty joke here or there without it getting awkwardly silent.I really like her and she is a great friend,but a big preference I have is that for me to date a girl she should know what sex is like and like to do it. My dilemma in a nutshell: I want to remain good friends with her cause I like hanging out with her,HOWEVER,(this makes me sound piggish) I won't date her because she is too shy about sex.Should I tell her this and be honest why I won't date her right now and tell her I still want our friendship or should I blandly ignore her advances?Please don't judge me too hard by what I just said cause my rivers do run alil deeper than people understand.Its just a personal preference for me.So..What do I do? You don't have to tell her you won't date her because she's too shy about sex, but be honest that you are interested in her as a friend only. There is a gentle way of telling the truth. But if I understand it correctly, this is not the truth. He wants to date her but does not want to have a sexless relationship. She on the other hand wants to date him but is not ready for sex yet. My guess is that if they date for a while with no pressure then she may decide that she is actually ready to see how the sex goes or he may decide that he is willing to wait a little longer. Or maybe not. Then they could still be friends.

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Wed 07/04/12 07:02 AM
So there is this girl that just recently admitted that she liked me and pretty much put it on the table that she wanted me to ask her out.I think this girl is really cute,but she is still heavily apprehensive about sex.I can't even crack a dirty joke here or there without it getting awkwardly silent.I really like her and she is a great friend,but a big preference I have is that for me to date a girl she should know what sex is like and like to do it. My dilemma in a nutshell: I want to remain good friends with her cause I like hanging out with her,HOWEVER,(this makes me sound piggish) I won't date her because she is too shy about sex.Should I tell her this and be honest why I won't date her right now and tell her I still want our friendship or should I blandly ignore her advances?Please don't judge me too hard by what I just said cause my rivers do run alil deeper than people understand.Its just a personal preference for me.So..What do I do? You don't have to tell her you won't date her because she's too shy about sex, but be honest that you are interested in her as a friend only. There is a gentle way of telling the truth. But if I understand it correctly, this is not the truth. He wants to date her but does not want to have a sexless relationship. She on the other hand wants to date him but is not ready for sex yet. My guess is that if they date for a while with no pressure then she may decide that she is actually ready to see how the sex goes or he may decide that he is willing to wait a little longer. Or maybe not. Then they could still be friends. I concur,like I said, use tact.

Totage Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 24210	Wed 07/04/12 07:06 AM Edited by Totage on Wed 07/04/12 07:08 AM
.

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Wed 07/04/12 07:37 AM
If she won't have sex with you what other way will she be beneficial to you? How will she enhance your life? We all form relationships with people because they bring value to us and we to them and we to them.