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Topic: What is love?
no photo
Wed 07/04/12 08:42 PM
There has been a lot of discussion about love lately. I feel that my position hasn't been clear, so I'm going to explain where I'm coming from.

Feeling - A temporary experience, which may or may not have an obvious origin.

Emotion - An experience that is deeply rooted in the psyche and exists independent of external stimuli.

Love is not a feeling or an emotion. You don't have to learn how to hate someone or how to be angry or hungry or tired or how to be afraid of spiders. But you have to learn how to love someone and we all do it differently.

Love does have an emotional aspect, but to say that love is an emotion is like saying that Godzilla is a lizard. It's like saying that the Earth is a rock floating in space. It's like saying that a human is a pile of various minerals. While those statements have a grain of truth, they are also so inaccurate as to be shockingly wrong.

Love is so important to human beings, that it's listed only after physiological and safety needs on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. This means that any normal healthy human who has the things he/she needs to live and has shelter from the various dangers of the world, immediately starts to seek out love. Is there any emotion that people seek out? Don't say "happiness", because that's a feeling.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't add "Oh baby, don't hurt me, Don't hurt me no more."

oldhippie1952's photo
Wed 07/04/12 08:46 PM
Seems you are coming from an understanding place.

TexasScoundrel's photo
Wed 07/04/12 10:26 PM
I completely agree. You sir have a way with words that I envy.

no photo
Thu 07/05/12 08:09 AM


Love is not a feeling or an emotion. You don't have to learn how to hate someone or how to be angry or hungry or tired or how to be afraid of spiders. But you have to learn how to love someone and we all do it differently.

Love is so important to human beings, that it's listed only after physiological and safety needs on Maslow's hierarchy of needs.


First of all, I'm impressed you referenced Maslow.

That said, I do think that you have to learn how to hate or be angry. They are learned responses to stimuli and/or experience. You aren't born hating.

You aren't born loving either. When you think of newborns their instinct is what attatches them to their mothers. All of the senses are engaged to create that bond. From there, the love is taught, grown. So in a way, love is a sixth sense.

Yes we all show love differently; and we love various people in our lives differently. But love in itself is a concept that is static.

I can honestly say I never really appreciated true love until I had my own child. It was after that experience that I learned what love truly meant and was able to apply it to others in my life.


no photo
Thu 07/05/12 08:19 AM

First of all, I'm impressed you referenced Maslow.


Why?


That said, I do think that you have to learn how to hate or be angry. They are learned responses to stimuli and/or experience. You aren't born hating.


We aren't born hating, but we are born with the capacity and inclination to hate. Hate is just as natural to the human experience as any other emotion. It's an evolutionary survival tactic and is one of the reasons why we exist today as a species.


You aren't born loving either. When you think of newborns their instinct is what attatches them to their mothers. All of the senses are engaged to create that bond. From there, the love is taught, grown. So in a way, love is a sixth sense.


Our senses (of which we have far more than 5) allow us to sense the world around us. I don't understand how love could be considered a sense.


Yes we all show love differently; and we love various people in our lives differently. But love in itself is a concept that is static.


How so?

Ladywind7's photo
Thu 07/05/12 08:20 AM
You are so poetical Spidercmb. blushing lol.

no photo
Thu 07/05/12 08:25 AM
Edited by Spidercmb on Thu 07/05/12 08:25 AM

You are so poetical Spidercmb. blushing lol.


I was simply attempting to elucidate my reasoning, any romantic or poetical overtones were unintentional.

But thank you all the same. flowerforyou

galendgirl's photo
Thu 07/05/12 08:25 AM
Edited by galendgirl on Thu 07/05/12 08:26 AM
Clint Black has a great song called "Something That We Do."

...Love is certain, love is kind
Love is yours and love is mine
But it isn't something that we find
It's something that we do
It's holding tight, lettin' go
It's flying high and laying low
Let your strongest feelings show
And your weakness, too
It's a little and a lot to ask
An endless and a welcome task
...We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that you can't tell where I end and where you start
...Love is wide, love is long
Love is deep and love is strong
...There's no request too big or small
We give ourselves, we give our all
Love isn't someplace that we fall
It's something that we do.
(edited)

BettyB's photo
Thu 07/05/12 08:40 AM
In my humble opinion love is not that complicated. It is whatever you perceive it to be. Even if my perception is totally different from yours its still either Love or not love too me.

no photo
Thu 07/05/12 08:47 AM
I'd have to disagree, as I do think that love is a feeling and an emotion. I cannot choose who I fall in love with, but I can choose to act on those feelings.

Ladywind7's photo
Thu 07/05/12 08:48 AM
Love can be learned. Love can be controlled. Love is powerful. Omni Vincent Amor. flowerforyou Love is to die and live for.

galendgirl's photo
Thu 07/05/12 08:49 AM
Good point, BettyB...everyone's perception is different but VALID. I once had someone try to explain to me that what I felt wasn't love - how presumptuous (and wrong!)

no photo
Thu 07/05/12 08:58 AM
Edited by Spidercmb on Thu 07/05/12 09:01 AM
So love is anything you want it to be? Respectfully, words have meanings. If you want to create a thread about how any word can mean anything, feel free. This thread is predicated on the idea that words have meanings and words should be used in the proper context.

Love is a feeling? Honestly? So you have experienced a temporary love? There is a word for that, it's infatuation. We've all experienced that.

BettyB's photo
Thu 07/05/12 09:00 AM

Good point, BettyB...everyone's perception is different but VALID. I once had someone try to explain to me that what I felt wasn't love - how presumptuous (and wrong!)

That was very presumptuous and wrong.
I also think people feel Love differently at different stages of their lives.

no photo
Thu 07/05/12 09:04 AM

So love is anything you want it to be? Respectfully, words have meanings. If you want to create a thread about how any word can mean anything, feel free. This thread is predicated on the idea that words have meanings and words should be used in the proper context.

Love is a feeling? Honestly? So you have experienced a temporary love? There is a word for that, it's infatuation. We've all experienced that.


I don't see the word temporary in the definition of feeling.

feel·ing
   [fee-ling] Show IPA
noun
1.
the function or the power of perceiving by touch.
2.
physical sensation not connected with sight, hearing, taste, or smell.
3.
a particular sensation of this kind: a feeling of warmth; a feeling of pain.
4.
the general state of consciousness considered independently of particular sensations, thoughts, etc.
5.
a consciousness or vague awareness: a feeling of inferiority.
EXPAND
adjective
12.
sensitive; sentient.
13.
readily affected by emotion; sympathetic: a feeling heart.
14.
indicating or characterized by emotion: a feeling reply to the charge.

no photo
Thu 07/05/12 09:11 AM


So love is anything you want it to be? Respectfully, words have meanings. If you want to create a thread about how any word can mean anything, feel free. This thread is predicated on the idea that words have meanings and words should be used in the proper context.

Love is a feeling? Honestly? So you have experienced a temporary love? There is a word for that, it's infatuation. We've all experienced that.


I don't see the word temporary in the definition of feeling.

feel·ing
   [fee-ling] Show IPA
noun
1.
the function or the power of perceiving by touch.
2.
physical sensation not connected with sight, hearing, taste, or smell.
3.
a particular sensation of this kind: a feeling of warmth; a feeling of pain.
4.
the general state of consciousness considered independently of particular sensations, thoughts, etc.
5.
a consciousness or vague awareness: a feeling of inferiority.
EXPAND
adjective
12.
sensitive; sentient.
13.
readily affected by emotion; sympathetic: a feeling heart.
14.
indicating or characterized by emotion: a feeling reply to the charge.


So...if you experience a taste or smell, it's permanent? When you touch a hot stove, your hand is burning for the rest of your life? You are going to have to think a bit more deeply if you want to keep up.

BettyB's photo
Thu 07/05/12 09:17 AM
If you touch a hot stove your hand might not be burning the rest of your life ,but the memory of that burn will stay with you.

no photo
Thu 07/05/12 09:21 AM

If you touch a hot stove your hand might not be burning the rest of your life ,but the memory of that burn will stay with you.


If you are infatuated with someone, that feeling will fade, but the memory will stay with you.

Thanks for the help, but I think I've made my point fairly clear.

Ladywind7's photo
Thu 07/05/12 09:22 AM
May we discuss the love we have for our children in this thread?

no photo
Thu 07/05/12 09:24 AM



So...if you experience a taste or smell, it's permanent? When you touch a hot stove, your hand is burning for the rest of your life? You are going to have to think a bit more deeply if you want to keep up.


You said earlier words have meanings. I gave you the definition of feeling. Can you show me where it says temporary, meaning any feeling must be temporary?


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