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| Topic: Culture encouraging fatness? | |
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I did a little research after I started this thread. Apparently, there is a segment of the U.S. male population in which the men want women to have fat rumps. I just think that it is wrong to insist that women gain more weight than they need. Am I the only one who thinks this way? There is a segment of the male population that prefer big boobs. There is a segment of the male population that prefers very young women. There is a segment of the male population that prefers.... Very old women Skinny women Blondes Redheads Small boobs Asian women Black women Big butts Little butts I could go on and on.... Women have always been under pressure to look a certain way in order to attract men. Women are "harassed" about their appearance every time they pick up a magazine or watch television. This is nothing new and I doubt it will ever change. Additionally, women harrass each other by comparing their bodies and looks to each other and putting pressure on each other to look a certain way. I am concerned about things that may be harmful to a woman's physical health. Isn't it harmful to a woman for her to gain more weight than she needs in order to satisfy a man's desire for a woman with a big rump? |
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I did a little research after I started this thread. Apparently, there is a segment of the U.S. male population in which the men want women to have fat rumps. I just think that it is wrong to insist that women gain more weight than they need. Am I the only one who thinks this way? There is a segment of the male population that prefer big boobs. There is a segment of the male population that prefers very young women. There is a segment of the male population that prefers.... Very old women Skinny women Blondes Redheads Small boobs Asian women Black women Big butts Little butts I could go on and on.... Women have always been under pressure to look a certain way in order to attract men. Women are "harassed" about their appearance every time they pick up a magazine or watch television. This is nothing new and I doubt it will ever change. Additionally, women harrass each other by comparing their bodies and looks to each other and putting pressure on each other to look a certain way. I am concerned about things that may be harmful to a woman's physical health. Isn't it harmful to a woman for her to gain more weight than she needs in order to satisfy a man's desire for a woman with a big rump? Yep. Just as its harmful to be too skinny or have plastic surgery to alter your appearance. No one is arguing with you in regards to the harassment. As women we are already fully aware of the pressure to look a certain way for men. I'm surprised that this is news to you. |
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And being thicker of body isn't necessarily unhealthy anyway... it depends on a lot of factors outside of the extra.
If men prefer women who are bigger they prefer bigger women, that is what they prefer and they are going to get what they prefer. |
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There are always going to be critics who try and make a woman (and probably men too) feel bad about themselves and their body type. You'll never change that.
What you can do is simply encourage the women in your life to be healthy and happy with themselves. Instill self esteem and the criticisms won't be an issue anymore. |
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I'll repeat a portion of Latoya Bidding's commentary "I Had The 'Perfect' Body ... And I Hated It".
. . . It slowly dawned on me what a strong influence a person's culture can have on her perception of beauty — and how, if I had been born into a different culture, I would never have experienced all of those body insecurities growing up. So, Bidding was living in a culture that belittled her because she was slender. Now, isn't there something wrong with a culture that does that? Likewise, isn't there something wrong with a culture that belittles women if they are not pencil thin? |
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Ridicule comes from a combination of insecurity and peer pressure in this case. This is just your basic bullies at work. To correct the problems of bullies takes a lot of tough love with some politically incorrect methodology. Some of the answers here do not address this as the central issue. There is nothing wrong with the human form that a judgmental attitude did not create. Love first, then comment. It's a humble thing to ask. Dogs can do it, it's easy.
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So, Bidding was living in a culture that belittled her because she was slender. Now, isn't there something wrong with a culture that does that? For the last time....yes. Why do you keep asking this question over and over when no one is disagreeing???? Who has said that it is okay for anyone to belittle another person for any reason? I'm beginning to suspect that there is a hidden motive for you posting this topic so I'll be moving on. |
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In her commentary, Bidding doesn't say that she was underweight. She simply says that she was slender. She gives no evidence that her slenderness was a health problem. So, wasn't it wrong for people to criticize her for her slenderness? I agree it was wrong for people to criticize her because she is slender. Its wrong to criticize people for their body weight either way. Men had always made me feel bad about my body; however this is our culture as men always preferred the "model type body". Its not realistic for the average woman to look like that anymore for men to look like male models but yet our culture expects it. People are pathetic. 
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For the last time....yes. Why do you keep asking this question over and over when no one is disagreeing???? Actually, someone has disagreed. I was surprised when someone made excuses for the element of Latoya Bidding's culture that was harmful to her. |
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Sun 02/03/13 10:18 PM
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there is healthy and there is unhealthy
weight can be a factor in ones health and people make visual assessments based upon what they have learned or experienced about haalthy weight by itself, I see nothing wrong with such assessments, unless or until they are delivered through bullying or harassment none of us are perfect, it isnt harmful to be given honest assessments from others, even if their assessment ends up being wrong, as long as it isnt done to be harmful,,, it comes down to intent and delivery and some people are oversensitive to any words that arent complimentary, which others may not know sounds like the op had a self image problem, which made the negative stand out enough to affect her negatively and that is unfortunate but 'culture' is complex and few of us are exposed to only one,, so again, the BALANCE and what comes of it comes from ourself, and the esteem we learn to accept (either from home, or from media) Id say the MAJORITY of the western culture that I am INUNDATED With daily suggests that beauty is blonde, blue eyed, and thin but in my home, I saw beauty that came in all sizes and colors so I learned to have esteem beyond what I was mostly bombed with daily outside my home,,,, its nothing most women dont face,, yeah, there are creeps who will be rude, and then there are people who just encourage us to be healthy based upon what they have learned healthy looks like |
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The website "Your Tango" has published a commentary titled "I Had The 'Perfect' Body ... And I Hated It", written by a woman named Latoya Bidding. Here is an excerpt from the commentary: Growing up, I was extremely thin. It's not that I was starving myself; in fact I loved to eat. But no matter how much food I consumed, I never was able to budge from a size zero. For much of my adolescence, my peers ridiculed me because of my size. As a teen, when everyone my age was starting to fill out and develop curves, I remained considerably thin. It took a toll on my confidence. The issue of my weight reached a boiling point one summer day when I decided to wear shorts, which I'd never dared before; I was too self-conscious. Two men yelled at me from across the street, "Take those shorts off; you’re too skinny for that!" I was humiliated. Sure, I tried to laugh it off, but nothing was remotely funny about how I had been made to feel. After that day, I made it a point to never don a pair of shorts or a short skirt again. Being "too thin" may sound like a problem most women would give anything to have, but my reality was different. As a woman of mixed heritage, my culture places a greater emphasis on being curvy. I've never held myself to the mainstream standard of beauty: being skinny. But I am. Back then, even more so — and it was a liability. . . . . . It slowly dawned on me what a strong influence a person's culture can have on her perception of beauty — and how, if I had been born into a different culture, I would never have experienced all of those body insecurities growing up. As you might have guessed, those guys who ridiculed me for looking too skinny in my shorts were men of color, like me. If it were a group of caucasian men on the corner that day, odds are I would be telling a whole different story. That's not to say every single person is a prisoner to the culture he or she grew up in, but it’s hard to argue the idea that heritage heavily influences what we what we find attractive. It's funny how I could feel so out of place all those years just because I was someone else's idea of beautiful instead of my own. I'll leave it to you to read the rest of the commentary if you want. What I want to know is this: Why would anyone encourage a woman to gain more weight/body fat than she needs in order to be healthy? My culture promotes being big... It is a sign of happiness and well-being. When a married man gains weight, it is because his wife is treating him right and visa-versa... As I told you earlier about my gran parading me infront of her friends in just my underwear so they could admire my thick legs and big butt, but having to go to a mixed school where I was considered fat and so would try to diet and starve myself. On one hand, I had old grannies stopping me in the street telling me what a nice body I have; one even flipped my school skirt up once to get a look at my thighs. The shape and proportion of your body is very important too. It is not merely enough to be thick, one must be thick in the right places, meaning, hip, thighs, butt and legs. And on the other hand, I had school friends wearing bikinis and shorts, which I could never do because of my uhm, african heritage. I think as people start being more aware of their health though, cultural perceptions are beginning to change too. Whilst being thick is still welcome, being unhealthily fat is frowned upon. Learning to find the balnce is up to you. So I guess I can understand this woman's problem, albeit from the other end of the scale. No pun intended. |
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Whenever I see something like this, the first things I think of is education.
Is there a possibility that the kind of health and fitness we are accustomed to receiving in school is either absent or lacking in this culture? If so, maybe the key to the problem is as simple or as difficult as making the effort to inform the next generations of the health dangers of obesity. Also, something to consider... in regions where smoking was never a part of the culture, imagine what they would have been saying about all the societies that continued doing it well after it was proven so deadly? It took heavily educating the next three generations just to make a decent dent in the smoking population. |
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I agree with your comments regarding education. We definitely need
better "Health and Fitness" education in our society. In the US, we have a wide variety of unhealthy lifestyle trends. Bad nutrition abounds. Not enough physical exercise is the rule. Our Physcal Education classes are not keeping pace. My personal opinion is that unhealthy diet is the single worst offender. I am very much encouraged by the recent efforts to promote healthier diet at school cafeterias for example but I think we have to do much better in educating everyone about how to have healthier diets and lifestyles and our government should support as much as possible individual efforts to improve diet and physical activity. Obesity is clearly the number one health problem in the US. It is a national tragedy and diet is the single most important contributing factor. We all need to eat lower calorie and more nutritious diets while getting regular exercise to maintain and improve our health and longevity. 
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It doesnt mean that when your skinny youre malnourished. I used to be chubby around 16-19 y/o that even my mother advised me to exercise and have a diet. Now that im skinny she ordered me to eat a lot. Duh! I didnt even had i diet, i dont even know why i dont like tto eat(only if i crave for food thats where i'll eat.). All i can say is i do not know the mind of the people.
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The website "Your Tango" has published a commentary titled "I Had The 'Perfect' Body ... And I Hated It", written by a woman named Latoya Bidding. Here is an excerpt from the commentary: Growing up, I was extremely thin. It's not that I was starving myself; in fact I loved to eat. But no matter how much food I consumed, I never was able to budge from a size zero. For much of my adolescence, my peers ridiculed me because of my size. As a teen, when everyone my age was starting to fill out and develop curves, I remained considerably thin. It took a toll on my confidence. The issue of my weight reached a boiling point one summer day when I decided to wear shorts, which I'd never dared before; I was too self-conscious. Two men yelled at me from across the street, "Take those shorts off; you’re too skinny for that!" I was humiliated. Sure, I tried to laugh it off, but nothing was remotely funny about how I had been made to feel. After that day, I made it a point to never don a pair of shorts or a short skirt again. Being "too thin" may sound like a problem most women would give anything to have, but my reality was different. As a woman of mixed heritage, my culture places a greater emphasis on being curvy. I've never held myself to the mainstream standard of beauty: being skinny. But I am. Back then, even more so — and it was a liability. . . . . . It slowly dawned on me what a strong influence a person's culture can have on her perception of beauty — and how, if I had been born into a different culture, I would never have experienced all of those body insecurities growing up. As you might have guessed, those guys who ridiculed me for looking too skinny in my shorts were men of color, like me. If it were a group of caucasian men on the corner that day, odds are I would be telling a whole different story. That's not to say every single person is a prisoner to the culture he or she grew up in, but it’s hard to argue the idea that heritage heavily influences what we what we find attractive. It's funny how I could feel so out of place all those years just because I was someone else's idea of beautiful instead of my own. I'll leave it to you to read the rest of the commentary if you want. What I want to know is this: Why would anyone encourage a woman to gain more weight/body fat than she needs in order to be healthy? Are you sure this didn't come from the Onion? |
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The website "Your Tango" has published a commentary titled "I Had The 'Perfect' Body ... And I Hated It", written by a woman named Latoya Bidding. Here is an excerpt from the commentary: Growing up, I was extremely thin. It's not that I was starving myself; in fact I loved to eat. But no matter how much food I consumed, I never was able to budge from a size zero. For much of my adolescence, my peers ridiculed me because of my size. As a teen, when everyone my age was starting to fill out and develop curves, I remained considerably thin. It took a toll on my confidence. The issue of my weight reached a boiling point one summer day when I decided to wear shorts, which I'd never dared before; I was too self-conscious. Two men yelled at me from across the street, "Take those shorts off; you’re too skinny for that!" I was humiliated. Sure, I tried to laugh it off, but nothing was remotely funny about how I had been made to feel. After that day, I made it a point to never don a pair of shorts or a short skirt again. Being "too thin" may sound like a problem most women would give anything to have, but my reality was different. As a woman of mixed heritage, my culture places a greater emphasis on being curvy. I've never held myself to the mainstream standard of beauty: being skinny. But I am. Back then, even more so — and it was a liability. . . . . . It slowly dawned on me what a strong influence a person's culture can have on her perception of beauty — and how, if I had been born into a different culture, I would never have experienced all of those body insecurities growing up. As you might have guessed, those guys who ridiculed me for looking too skinny in my shorts were men of color, like me. If it were a group of caucasian men on the corner that day, odds are I would be telling a whole different story. That's not to say every single person is a prisoner to the culture he or she grew up in, but it’s hard to argue the idea that heritage heavily influences what we what we find attractive. It's funny how I could feel so out of place all those years just because I was someone else's idea of beautiful instead of my own. I'll leave it to you to read the rest of the commentary if you want. What I want to know is this: Why would anyone encourage a woman to gain more weight/body fat than she needs in order to be healthy? Are you sure this didn't come from the Onion? No, it is not from the Onion. As I see it, it is up to a physician to determine whether or not a woman has a healthy weight. |
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The website "Your Tango" has published a commentary titled "I Had The 'Perfect' Body ... And I Hated It", written by a woman named Latoya Bidding. Here is an excerpt from the commentary: Growing up, I was extremely thin. It's not that I was starving myself; in fact I loved to eat. But no matter how much food I consumed, I never was able to budge from a size zero. For much of my adolescence, my peers ridiculed me because of my size. As a teen, when everyone my age was starting to fill out and develop curves, I remained considerably thin. It took a toll on my confidence. The issue of my weight reached a boiling point one summer day when I decided to wear shorts, which I'd never dared before; I was too self-conscious. Two men yelled at me from across the street, "Take those shorts off; you’re too skinny for that!" I was humiliated. Sure, I tried to laugh it off, but nothing was remotely funny about how I had been made to feel. After that day, I made it a point to never don a pair of shorts or a short skirt again. Being "too thin" may sound like a problem most women would give anything to have, but my reality was different. As a woman of mixed heritage, my culture places a greater emphasis on being curvy. I've never held myself to the mainstream standard of beauty: being skinny. But I am. Back then, even more so — and it was a liability. . . . . . It slowly dawned on me what a strong influence a person's culture can have on her perception of beauty — and how, if I had been born into a different culture, I would never have experienced all of those body insecurities growing up. As you might have guessed, those guys who ridiculed me for looking too skinny in my shorts were men of color, like me. If it were a group of caucasian men on the corner that day, odds are I would be telling a whole different story. That's not to say every single person is a prisoner to the culture he or she grew up in, but it’s hard to argue the idea that heritage heavily influences what we what we find attractive. It's funny how I could feel so out of place all those years just because I was someone else's idea of beautiful instead of my own. I'll leave it to you to read the rest of the commentary if you want. What I want to know is this: Why would anyone encourage a woman to gain more weight/body fat than she needs in order to be healthy? Are you sure this didn't come from the Onion? No, it is not from the Onion. As I see it, it is up to a physician to determine whether or not a woman has a healthy weight. good rule of thumb although, those with eyes who have been taught the term and its definition will still be visually asssessing whether people 'appear' healthy or not,, |
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Sat 03/09/13 08:32 AM
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In her commentary, Bidding doesn't say that she was underweight. She simply says that she was slender. She gives no evidence that her slenderness was a health problem. So, wasn't it wrong for people to criticize her for her slenderness? yes it is wrong (rude) to make critical personal comments to another about something they cannot change, especially a stranger, and wrong to harrass anyone for any reason |
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