I have recently found out that I'm pregant. The problem is it is by a
friend of mine and we are no longer talking. We have been friends for
6yrs and were just friends with benefits. I don't know what to do as far
as telling him or not. He is 34yrs old and still lives with his family.
He is totally unreliable and not sure if he is ready to have a family.
What do u all think? I know he does have a right to know but just don't
know for sure.

THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS TELL HIM AND SEE IF THAT IS THE WAKE UP
CALL HE NEEDS TO GROW UP HE MIGHT SURPRISE YOU IN HIS REACTION SORRY IF
THIS WAS NOT THE KIND OF RESPONSE YOU WANT BUT I WISH YOU THE BEST OF
LUCK AND CONGRADS ON BEING PREGNANT

i think you should tell him. whether either of you wants him to be a
part of the kids life is a seperate issue but i know that i would want
to know even if she didn't want me around.

hi angel, well it takes two to have a child, and both of you are
consenting adults so i'm sure the possibility of getting pregnant was
considered, of course if protection was used, well that would be a
different story.. i think it would be best if you did talk to him about
it because it should be a choice for him to make for himself whether he
wants to be a father to his child, also if you were thinking about
abortion, because you're not ready to be a mother and reality is going
to slap you in the face really hard,you may need some extra support..
after all he was your friend for a very long time, i'm sure he would be
there for you during a time like this, who knows, it may all work out

Ya i agree with everyone else u definately need to tell him. Put
yourself in his shoes if that was u wouldn't u want to know?

Abortion was never on my mind. I'm against that totally unless for
medical reasons. I would instead give it for adoption. I have 3 other
children. Getting pregant was never a issue due to the fact that I was
on the depo shot. Guess I was that 1 in 5 that got knocked up. I would
like to have him part of the kids life if he wanted to.

I would tell you be prepared to possibly have to raise the child by your
self I'm raising my daughter by my self and enjoy every minite of it It
all boils down to are you ready to have kids they are alot of
responsibility but there is no greater joy in the world if you do have
your child and he dont want a child I hope you have made the decission
to be self supportive because child support my destroy your friend. Good
luck.

Look... you spent time roasting this guy, and now there,s a bean in the
pot.
You got to tell him that he,s got a kid kickin, after that it does,nt
matter.

I have to agree..he has a right to know..what he chooses to do after
that is up to him..

I was in a similiar situation 10 yrs ago..I had a friend that I had
known for yrs..I was at the bar..a lil tipsy..he was at the bar..we
decided to hook up..now I have a daughter that I've raised from
birth..he completely walked away and has had absolutely nothing to do
with her..but that was his choice..

Good luck!! I wish only happiness for ya!

I fully agree with all here you must tell him. Regardless if you expect
any more than that or not at least you have been honest with him from
there its up to him if he is in the childs life or not. But... in the
end you will feel much better knowing that you have done your part and
that guilt will not be on your shoulders when the child grows up. And
wants to know were daddy is? Best wishes & good luck.

I have never understood why woman think they an option on if they should
tell the guy.

I think you should tell hi, you made that baby together and together
should be worked out, he has a right to know and have his opinion, but
is your body you have the last word in any case
maybe by telling him, he may turn and surprise you.


morena

lol. the funny part is some women don't want to tell you until they need
support then it's baby daddy baby daddy baby daddy

Ontario, tha's one I can't answer for I have never been in that
situation I was marred for 3 yrs before my son was born and 2 yrs later
my daughter and both of mine were very much planned . But sometimes I'm
sure it could be very hard specialy when the two are not even talking it
would be hard to decide for alot of guys would get mad thinking you are
trapping them and expect you to marry them I have seen that happen.

How in this day of time did u create an un-planned pregnancy?
It's his right to know, and your responsibility to tell him...
No matter your decision, make the one that is right for YOU!
The focus now is you, no-one else...

Tell him. I found out I was pregnant after not speaking to the father.
He was very immature, and irresponsible. He straightened up though.
There is always hope. Also, he needs to know that he is going to have a
child anyway. Let him make the descion to have anything to do with the
child or not.

Tell him.

You thought enough of him to sleep with him, so let him know our of
courtesy. Whether or not you two decide to continue to relate on any
level is up to you all...but he should be aware so that he can be
involved if you both choose. And remember, your child may want to have
a relationship with it's father.

You have to tell him about it. you both we're responsible to lay down
together. now it's time that he knows the news and take it in from
there.

But I do understand his point of view that he is with his family still.
that's his right and family is important in today's society in my
opinion.

I do agree that it is time for him to step up to the plate and to live
his life in the world and STILL have his family. but he should take full
responsibility to move out and be on his own or whatever. it is time to
grow up in his case and take responsibility to raise his child he made
with you is now his decision.

You have to tell him hun.. he does have the right to know about this and
then see where it goes after the news break. you both need to have a
long talk!!

sucks 2 b u!!

Thank you all for ur advice. I broke it to him tonight couldn't do it
face to face but told him over the phone. He started to cry and said he
was happy. He also told me that he wanted to help in any way he could.
He did surprise me due to the fact that his drinking was more important
than anything. He wants to be a father to this child and I feel that he
will grow up. I don't want a relationship with him and told him that. I
also reassured him that this wasn't a trap to make him marry me. I want
to say thank you again to all of u for helping me in this difficult
situation.