"Your not a man just a really good friend"

I went out with her for 2 years, lots of good romance and good friendship. Then she says I'm her best friend and she never had a guy friend before, usually they just want to own her or have sex so she puts me in this box 'just a friend' So eventually I hook up with someone else and we lose touch.

3 years later I'm single so I look her up and she is single too. We are still good friends. She is beating her head against the wall over these guys that treat her like garbage, says she only wants one good man who will 'treat her right' and be her partner and best friend and the whole time I'm standing there WTF?

She seems to have this mental block and sees me as a friend. She goes on about how all these men treat her like crap and then says to me 'your not a man you're a really good friend' I'm like 'no.. I'm a man'

Now I'm getting ready to let her know how I really feel about her - I am that man she keeps talking about that wants to be with her and treat her right and I do love her very deeply. At the risk of our friendship how do I do this?

I say go for it! You said you went out with her for 2 years so I'm assuming you had sex. Sorry to be blunt but I think a frienship is a great basis to start a relationship if you already crossed the "just friends" line. The only thing that seems weird to me is that you didn't speak to her or "lost touch" for a few years. I still say go for it!

It because I was with somebody else, she had began seeing someone else and want to continue being friends with me, so I was doing that then I met someone and my new gf didn't like me being 'friends' with my old gf so I stopped seeing the old one.

I dunno dude, sounds like she has already made the call.

You think so Soufie? Obvs you know womens intentions better, but what if he says "look I'd really like to be with you lets try & see what happens" At the very least they could hang out as friends & see if it will work...

If he does not mind the humiliation of hearing
the wrong words, it could be a go :-)

I agree. The possibility of finding love is worth the risk of momentary humiliation. It's no fun being rejected, but you have to risk it if you want the relationship.

Woo Hoo! then he should go for it! I give good advice? Whoda thunk that? Oh but if the chick finds out ur on a dating site she's probly gonna be pizzed!

Okay so those of you who have seen me evolve on Mingle know that I used to have TONS of "just friends" who were guys. Well, I changed that. ONE: It's unfair to everyone you date because they have these other guys waiting for an opening. TWO: It's not fair to the "friends" because THEY ALWAYS ARE IN TRUTH WAITING FOR AN OPENING. I have seen the error in my ways and fixed that.

AND I will tell you that if she has firmly slotted you into "friendship" and out of "boyfriend" that play has been made and is not easily reversed. It's like you are a chess piece and were knocked off the dating board early on.

My advice to you is to move on. Even if she does pick you up and dust you off and put you into play, it is very likely you will get knocked off the playing field as soon as she finds someone else she considers more than a friend in sexual appeal again.

Good point.

This thread reminds me of this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVa5uaULJQY

Lyrics: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/capercaillie-lyrics/why-won_t-you-touch-me-lyrics.html

(And oh boy, can I ever relate to what she's singing... been there, done that, have the T-shirt in every color there is...)

I'm single and she's on dating sites too.

I dunno she made the call is true. I guess even a true friend doesn't withhold stuff that important, I could go find someone else but she is a perfect match already for me, we are good friends after all for that reason. I guess it doesn't hurt to put it out there. rejection is no big deal the thing I don't want though is for her to be uncomfortable with me after the rejection.

LOL.

Seriously I learned within three seconds of joining two years ago.

Men who want advice on how women think: Go to Soufie

Women NOT AFRAID to know how men think: Go to Krupa

That's a nice song.. it's actually more like this to me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ul-cZyuYq4


Lyrics
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/fleetwoodmac/goyourownway.html

Soufie & Krupa always have wise words

I agree. It sounds like the friend zone. MAYBE it could change later on, but you are in the zone right now

I would take it slow

Honestly, I got so used to it than I decided to just start preemptively friend-zoning myself ages ago. Saves everyone the time and effort, y'know?

At least if a guy makes the effort to convince me the friend zone isn't where he wants me, that tells me something. Maybe.