Topic: So what if she's hot?
TawtStrat's photo
Mon 08/19/13 01:29 PM

I love it when people start threads asking for advice, then when they get answers they don't agree with they get pissy.


Yeah, so do I. It's fun, isn't it?

PacificStar48's photo
Mon 08/19/13 01:42 PM
If OP were younger and probably were just nervous about attracting a pretty girl I would say give it a little time and get to know what you might like about this person.

But given you are more mature and find this person annoying I think you would probably be wise to move on to investing your time in someone you feel comfortable around.

While I agree relationships often take effort it is rare that people start out good personal relationships without a basic attraction or at least a positive feeling being around them.

Perhaps you are just trying to be over empathetic because you are tired of people being "judgmental" towards others or rejecting your best intended advances. Social interactions and dating can be brutal in todays world where "lists" and criteria for people to even be considered can be pretty rigid.

I do believe the kindest thing a person can do is to be honest with someone else if their advances how ever subtle are not well received because if you give someone mixed signals the resulting confusion can be humiliating and cause unnecessary hurt feelings.

isaac_dede's photo
Mon 08/19/13 03:03 PM
Edited by isaac_dede on Mon 08/19/13 03:10 PM







Doesn't sound like you're really into her, so I'd suggest looking for someone you don't find annoying.


I agree. How can you fancy someone and yet find them annoying at the same time?


Quite easily. I'm prepared to put up with quite a lot from women and I only said that I find this one a bit annoying. If her friends tell me that they agree with me about her but that they still like her why wouldn't I if I'm going to get more than friendship out of it?

This is hypothetical anyway because she's only someone that I know and was considering asking out. If she was my girlfriend I would just tell her how she was being annoying and hopefully she would stop doing it.


Last sentence - That means that you would try to change her. That doesn't work. That would hurt her too. Either accept the way she is or move on.


Ha, I was just waiting for someone to say that. If she's just being ignorant and isn't aware that she's doing something annoying why shouldn't I be honest with her and say what it is?

This is the problem with people. They put up with all sorts of crap from their friends because they don't want to fall out with them or upset them. Nobody works at relationships anymore and as soon as there's a problem they just dump them and move on to the next one, or stay and put up with it instead of trying to sort the problem out.

It's called communication. You should try it.


You say no one works at relationships, however, you're also assuming that you're right in the fact that she is annoying, and assuming she is the one who needs to change....why don't you 'work' first and 'get over' whatever it is that annoys you hypothetically if she was your girlfriend



No, I was definetely a bit annoyed. I remember it quite clearly.

But hey, I'm working on it. Might even keep putting up with it if I get off with her. I've taken worse crap from other women that weren't as attractive.


Just because you were annoyed, doesn't mean she is annoying, it means YOU interpreted her behavior as annoying, someone else may interpret it differently, meaning maybe your perception isn't exactly accurate. I may find someone who is overly animated annoying, while someone else interprets it as they have passion about the subject on which they are speaking. How someone interprets behavior starts with self, so instead of trying to change other people around you, change you.

And why you put up with crap from anyone? but maybe I have a different definition of crap than you. I understand that not every relationship is perfect, but just because someone is attractive doesn't give them the right, or ability to treat me in a way I find distasteful, there are plenty of fish in the sea, if someone chooses to give me 'crap' on a constant basis...it's easy to walk away and find someone else.

KinBarrie's photo
Mon 08/19/13 04:07 PM


I love it when people start threads asking for advice, then when they get answers they don't agree with they get pissy.


Yeah, so do I. It's fun, isn't it?


It happens all the time, no matter what
forum your visiting.

You should see the sports forums!surprised

TawtStrat's photo
Mon 08/19/13 04:20 PM
Well, like I said, she seems to fancy me and although it's true that I have doubts about her because I don't know if we would have much in common and she can be a bit annoying, I did also say that I get on alright with her and she's quite attractive. I thought that there was "chemistry" anyway; if you want to call it that.

I mean, I've met this girl a few times and she flirts with me. I didn't ask her out the last time I met her because it was at a party and I was there with somebody else, so I didn't think that that would have been appropriate, even though it was the first time that I've had a chance to talk to her on her own. You are right and I'm not some awkward kid that's shy with pretty girls but the real problem that I'm having with this is that I was introduced to her by someone else that's a close friend of hers and that could make it a bit awkward. If I do make a move on this girl I would be doing it pretty much because of sexual attraction alone and then if it doesn't work out those relationships could be strained. If I had just met this girl at a bar or something and not through a social circle I would just go for it and bollocks to how much that we've got in common or if she's a bit annoying.

TawtStrat's photo
Mon 08/19/13 04:42 PM








Doesn't sound like you're really into her, so I'd suggest looking for someone you don't find annoying.


I agree. How can you fancy someone and yet find them annoying at the same time?


Quite easily. I'm prepared to put up with quite a lot from women and I only said that I find this one a bit annoying. If her friends tell me that they agree with me about her but that they still like her why wouldn't I if I'm going to get more than friendship out of it?

This is hypothetical anyway because she's only someone that I know and was considering asking out. If she was my girlfriend I would just tell her how she was being annoying and hopefully she would stop doing it.


Last sentence - That means that you would try to change her. That doesn't work. That would hurt her too. Either accept the way she is or move on.


Ha, I was just waiting for someone to say that. If she's just being ignorant and isn't aware that she's doing something annoying why shouldn't I be honest with her and say what it is?

This is the problem with people. They put up with all sorts of crap from their friends because they don't want to fall out with them or upset them. Nobody works at relationships anymore and as soon as there's a problem they just dump them and move on to the next one, or stay and put up with it instead of trying to sort the problem out.

It's called communication. You should try it.


You say no one works at relationships, however, you're also assuming that you're right in the fact that she is annoying, and assuming she is the one who needs to change....why don't you 'work' first and 'get over' whatever it is that annoys you hypothetically if she was your girlfriend



No, I was definetely a bit annoyed. I remember it quite clearly.

But hey, I'm working on it. Might even keep putting up with it if I get off with her. I've taken worse crap from other women that weren't as attractive.


Just because you were annoyed, doesn't mean she is annoying, it means YOU interpreted her behavior as annoying, someone else may interpret it differently, meaning maybe your perception isn't exactly accurate. I may find someone who is overly animated annoying, while someone else interprets it as they have passion about the subject on which they are speaking. How someone interprets behavior starts with self, so instead of trying to change other people around you, change you.

And why you put up with crap from anyone? but maybe I have a different definition of crap than you. I understand that not every relationship is perfect, but just because someone is attractive doesn't give them the right, or ability to treat me in a way I find distasteful, there are plenty of fish in the sea, if someone chooses to give me 'crap' on a constant basis...it's easy to walk away and find someone else.


This post seems a bit contradictory to me. On the one hand you are saying that it's me that's the problem and that I need to change but on the other you are saying that it isn't and that I shouldn't put up with it.

Why is it fine for you to tell me to change when you are just some dude on the internet that doesn't even know me but it's wrong for me to say that to somebody that I have a close relationship with?

krupa's photo
Mon 08/19/13 04:56 PM
Worry naught tawtstrawt...

O hey...that rhymed...

It's the Internet.

Ya got a plenty valid perspective...our opinions don't actually matter.

You go ahead and say your piece my good fellow.

My opinion...if she is annoying ....avoid her.

Move on to the next hot biscuit ...she may be less annoying.

:)

motowndowntown's photo
Mon 08/19/13 05:13 PM
So you're seriously thinking of exchanging, what, a couple of two three hours of annoying dinner and a show conversation, for like, what,
two three minutes of halfway decent sex with some hottie you barely know? Seriously?

misswright's photo
Mon 08/19/13 05:15 PM
Attractive and annoying might be enough to give the girl a ride on your horse partner, but I wouldn't sell her the farm, if ya get my drift. :wink:

Annoying behavior increases exponentially over time. Save yourself the trouble. shades

unsure's photo
Mon 08/19/13 05:20 PM
All I can say is that you said something that kind of caught my attention....you said she is a bit annoying but she can get me off? That is like saying, she is ugly but I put a bag over her head so I didn't have to look at her and yep I got off. Sorry but you make men sound like pigs here!
The one thing that we notice about someone in the beginning, like she is annoying, is the one thing in the end that we end up breaking up with them for. BUT you know it from the beginning that she is annoying so why would you even want to pursue her? Oh yes because of the sexual tension. noway

TawtStrat's photo
Mon 08/19/13 05:30 PM

So you're seriously thinking of exchanging, what, a couple of two three hours of annoying dinner and a show conversation, for like, what,
two three minutes of halfway decent sex with some hottie you barely know? Seriously?


Not at all. I don't do quickies and I'm not just looking for a one night stand.


krupa's photo
Mon 08/19/13 05:55 PM

So you're seriously thinking of exchanging, what, a couple of two three hours of annoying dinner and a show conversation, for like, what,
two three minutes of halfway decent sex with some hottie you barely know? Seriously?


I am confused ...are you saying 2-3 hours of a date ain't what is supposed to lead to 2-3 minutes of halfway decent Sex?

If so...what is a person supposed to do for 2-3 minutes of halfway decent Sex?

TawtStrat's photo
Mon 08/19/13 06:09 PM

All I can say is that you said something that kind of caught my attention....you said she is a bit annoying but she can get me off? That is like saying, she is ugly but I put a bag over her head so I didn't have to look at her and yep I got off. Sorry but you make men sound like pigs here!
The one thing that we notice about someone in the beginning, like she is annoying, is the one thing in the end that we end up breaking up with them for. BUT you know it from the beginning that she is annoying so why would you even want to pursue her? Oh yes because of the sexual tension. noway


I had a three year relationship with a woman that was way more annoying than this one and still consider what I had with her to have been special. You take the rough with the smooth. That's how I look at it.

Besides, as someone touched on above, I don't want to be too judgmental here about first impressions. I don't know this girl very well and it could all boil down to a simple misunderstanding and lack of communication. If I don't get to know her properly I'll never know.

I'm not perfect myself and I'm not expecting to find someone that's perfect. Everyone here is focusing in on how I said that I find her a bit annoying but I didn't say that she's completely unbearable and she isn't.

unsure's photo
Mon 08/19/13 07:01 PM
Now do you understand why women get so confused by men???

motowndowntown's photo
Tue 08/20/13 03:43 PM


So you're seriously thinking of exchanging, what, a couple of two three hours of annoying dinner and a show conversation, for like, what,
two three minutes of halfway decent sex with some hottie you barely know? Seriously?


I am confused ...are you saying 2-3 hours of a date ain't what is supposed to lead to 2-3 minutes of halfway decent Sex?

If so...what is a person supposed to do for 2-3 minutes of halfway decent Sex?


Dig a hole in the mattress?

Take walk down upper third street?

How the ell am I suppose to know?

I'm old.

I can't even remember what halfway decent sex tastes like.

I wouldn't know halfway decent sex if it walked up and bit me on
the peter.

msharmony's photo
Tue 08/20/13 03:48 PM


I literally don't bother with those who don't seem to have common interests,, no matter how 'attractive' someone is

and it would be unfair to them to feign interest,,,

jmo


Sometimes there are those whom I fancy for a long time.....which is probably not quite reciprocated even "in feign".


of course, lol

those you 'fancy' are probably not those who annoy you ,,,,

its fine if you fancy THEM,,,and if you just want to jump their bones and are upfront about it and they are cool with it,,,

so be it

I just mean its not fair to someone who is showing interest in us to pretend we are interested in them if all we are is attracted

isaac_dede's photo
Tue 08/20/13 04:39 PM









Doesn't sound like you're really into her, so I'd suggest looking for someone you don't find annoying.


I agree. How can you fancy someone and yet find them annoying at the same time?


Quite easily. I'm prepared to put up with quite a lot from women and I only said that I find this one a bit annoying. If her friends tell me that they agree with me about her but that they still like her why wouldn't I if I'm going to get more than friendship out of it?

This is hypothetical anyway because she's only someone that I know and was considering asking out. If she was my girlfriend I would just tell her how she was being annoying and hopefully she would stop doing it.


Last sentence - That means that you would try to change her. That doesn't work. That would hurt her too. Either accept the way she is or move on.


Ha, I was just waiting for someone to say that. If she's just being ignorant and isn't aware that she's doing something annoying why shouldn't I be honest with her and say what it is?

This is the problem with people. They put up with all sorts of crap from their friends because they don't want to fall out with them or upset them. Nobody works at relationships anymore and as soon as there's a problem they just dump them and move on to the next one, or stay and put up with it instead of trying to sort the problem out.

It's called communication. You should try it.


You say no one works at relationships, however, you're also assuming that you're right in the fact that she is annoying, and assuming she is the one who needs to change....why don't you 'work' first and 'get over' whatever it is that annoys you hypothetically if she was your girlfriend



No, I was definetely a bit annoyed. I remember it quite clearly.

But hey, I'm working on it. Might even keep putting up with it if I get off with her. I've taken worse crap from other women that weren't as attractive.


Just because you were annoyed, doesn't mean she is annoying, it means YOU interpreted her behavior as annoying, someone else may interpret it differently, meaning maybe your perception isn't exactly accurate. I may find someone who is overly animated annoying, while someone else interprets it as they have passion about the subject on which they are speaking. How someone interprets behavior starts with self, so instead of trying to change other people around you, change you.

And why you put up with crap from anyone? but maybe I have a different definition of crap than you. I understand that not every relationship is perfect, but just because someone is attractive doesn't give them the right, or ability to treat me in a way I find distasteful, there are plenty of fish in the sea, if someone chooses to give me 'crap' on a constant basis...it's easy to walk away and find someone else.


This post seems a bit contradictory to me. On the one hand you are saying that it's me that's the problem and that I need to change but on the other you are saying that it isn't and that I shouldn't put up with it.

Why is it fine for you to tell me to change when you are just some dude on the internet that doesn't even know me but it's wrong for me to say that to somebody that I have a close relationship with?

I'm not telling you to change, i'm saying the only person someone can change is themselves, you can't change another person no matter how hard you try, and yes you shouldn't put up with crap from someone(you can always walk away),

Think of it this way,

You're in a one man box, all that is in there is you, instead of trying to force people into your box, it is easier to get out of your box and join them, if that is what you want to do. However, in my personal opinion if she is annoying i don't have time, someone else will like her just the way she is, so why should I bother trying to change her to something I like? Isn't it better for me to just go and try to find someone else who I don't find annoying?

TawtStrat's photo
Tue 08/20/13 04:41 PM
I'm not pretending. I said that she's flirted with me. I meant that we talked to each other. She was friendly and being sexy isn't just about how someone looks. What annoyed me about her was that although she seemed to fancy me, I'm not sure if she's really interested in getting to know me as a person.

TawtStrat's photo
Tue 08/20/13 04:58 PM










Doesn't sound like you're really into her, so I'd suggest looking for someone you don't find annoying.


I agree. How can you fancy someone and yet find them annoying at the same time?


Quite easily. I'm prepared to put up with quite a lot from women and I only said that I find this one a bit annoying. If her friends tell me that they agree with me about her but that they still like her why wouldn't I if I'm going to get more than friendship out of it?

This is hypothetical anyway because she's only someone that I know and was considering asking out. If she was my girlfriend I would just tell her how she was being annoying and hopefully she would stop doing it.


Last sentence - That means that you would try to change her. That doesn't work. That would hurt her too. Either accept the way she is or move on.


Ha, I was just waiting for someone to say that. If she's just being ignorant and isn't aware that she's doing something annoying why shouldn't I be honest with her and say what it is?

This is the problem with people. They put up with all sorts of crap from their friends because they don't want to fall out with them or upset them. Nobody works at relationships anymore and as soon as there's a problem they just dump them and move on to the next one, or stay and put up with it instead of trying to sort the problem out.

It's called communication. You should try it.


You say no one works at relationships, however, you're also assuming that you're right in the fact that she is annoying, and assuming she is the one who needs to change....why don't you 'work' first and 'get over' whatever it is that annoys you hypothetically if she was your girlfriend



No, I was definetely a bit annoyed. I remember it quite clearly.

But hey, I'm working on it. Might even keep putting up with it if I get off with her. I've taken worse crap from other women that weren't as attractive.


Just because you were annoyed, doesn't mean she is annoying, it means YOU interpreted her behavior as annoying, someone else may interpret it differently, meaning maybe your perception isn't exactly accurate. I may find someone who is overly animated annoying, while someone else interprets it as they have passion about the subject on which they are speaking. How someone interprets behavior starts with self, so instead of trying to change other people around you, change you.

And why you put up with crap from anyone? but maybe I have a different definition of crap than you. I understand that not every relationship is perfect, but just because someone is attractive doesn't give them the right, or ability to treat me in a way I find distasteful, there are plenty of fish in the sea, if someone chooses to give me 'crap' on a constant basis...it's easy to walk away and find someone else.


This post seems a bit contradictory to me. On the one hand you are saying that it's me that's the problem and that I need to change but on the other you are saying that it isn't and that I shouldn't put up with it.

Why is it fine for you to tell me to change when you are just some dude on the internet that doesn't even know me but it's wrong for me to say that to somebody that I have a close relationship with?

I'm not telling you to change, i'm saying the only person someone can change is themselves, you can't change another person no matter how hard you try, and yes you shouldn't put up with crap from someone(you can always walk away),

Think of it this way,

You're in a one man box, all that is in there is you, instead of trying to force people into your box, it is easier to get out of your box and join them, if that is what you want to do. However, in my personal opinion if she is annoying i don't have time, someone else will like her just the way she is, so why should I bother trying to change her to something I like? Isn't it better for me to just go and try to find someone else who I don't find annoying?


Wow, you seem like a really intolerant person to say something like that. You don't have time for people and just walk away from them if you find them a bit annoying instead of trying to sort things out with them, even when they seem to like you?

TawtStrat's photo
Tue 08/20/13 05:25 PM
Also, your argument is total garbage. If a woman tells me to leave the toilet seat down is she trying to change me? Not really. I remain the same person and all that she has done is to ask me not to do something that I was doing which annoyed her.