Well she's kind of calloused to be honest ...

Maybe you two should spend less time beating on each other and more time sleeping

Blushing!!!...Really Warren??

I hope not

When you cheat on your relationship weather it is with yourself, porn, or another person ultimately you are robbing yourself. If you make your boundries clear and easy to find you know when you are being tempted across them and can make a choice. Texting, porn, even too explicit romance novels are like standing downwind from a bond fire and not having a little soot rub off on you.

Not if your watching it with your man/woman.

Unless there's touching, there is no cheating. I might find it odd or creepy that my bf wanted to watch porn when I was around, but I don't think it's the same as actually screwing another woman. Same with sexting, again, it's creepy, but not cheating. Just stupid.

Nice one! The fact that I see things differently, doesn't mean it's horseshit.
And yes, there will always some sort of value system, I guess. But we're moving from a mostly external system (that was forced upon us) to a mostly internal one.
And don't tell me you don't see that morals, norms & values, even honesty etc has changed throughout time?
I think we can be more honest than let's say 100 years ago. Even to ourselves.

The fact that we now all have different, individual views on the subject "is this cheating or not?" is an example of changed norms, values, morals etc.

if there isn't sexual contact, its not cheating

that's my opinion


I can forgive lusting, it stays in the mind, it doesn't risk our health or our family dynamic

I cant forgive actually being engaged physically with a flesh and blood person,,,

None ever engaged physically in cheating without the foundation of fantasy and lust.lust is deadlier than the physical contact hence"if any looks at a woman and LUST after a her IN HIS HEART,he has COMMITTED adultery ALREADY..."

yes, by Christian standards lust for anyone but a spouse is adultery

that is not a standard that any modern American , in this modern culture, has been reared to possibly uphold

we cant 'help' whats in the mind and heart

no robber ever robbed without a foundation of greed in his heart

but obviously, we don't lock people up for feeling GREED< unless there is action that follows up on the feeling,,

lol guilty hands

well then try your foot big boy

could there be a difference though between what you are willing to forgive, and what actually constitutes cheating?

I mean I think you raise a good point here. Defining cheating is one thing. What we are willing to forgive another, possibly.

Personally I think infdelity can be things other than just physical contact. Porn, since it hadbeen mention so often in here, can become a harmful psychological/sexual addiction that can have far more serious consequences and "rob" you of your partner in a more insidious way than a quick fling that's over and don with in one night...

tho I would not settle for either from my partner

Ah...key words right there..."IN HIS HEART"! Which is where interpretation comes into play my man!

Most men that spot a hot woman aren't lusting after her with their hearts. It's a little lower region called the loins that are usually involved with lust.

This is the way I see it. I don't care where my man gets his appetite as long as he comes home to eat!

If he's jerking off to porn and not fulfilling my sexual needs, then we got big problems as I'd consider that emotional and physical abandonment, or 'cheating'. Unacceptable. If he's sexting, camming, or slamming other chicks, that's cheating and unacceptable.

Watching indecency? Look around. Indecency is everywhere, not just porn on TV. We have lustful thoughts. We don't necessarily act on them. It might be true that physical cheating doesn't ever occur without first lust but it's also just as true that lustful thoughts alone don't always result in physical cheating.

Couple of things in response ...I was not calling the "act" of you disagreeing with me horsechit, I was calling your reason(s) horechit and I stand by that....If this offends, please accept my sincere apology, the next time you make what I consider a ridiculous argument, I'll just refer to it as crappy.....

For me, morality is not "some sort of value system", it is specific ....It refers to principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior and is applied by choice and based on rationale, not force...

Did you know that the term morality can be used or recognized in two different ways?...Perhaps that is why you and I disagree...Some think of morality descriptively, while others think of it normatively...Those who view morality descriptively believe it is a code of conduct put forward by a society or group (religion for instance)...Those, like me, who view morality normatively believe it is a code of conduct that is a "given" to specific conditions and is acted upon by choice (not force) made by rational persons...If I read your last post correctly, it actually appears to me that your are confusing the two because external, as you put it, is actually descriptive morality and internal, or what I believe, is normative morality....And you are right, one can change based on time, society, and groups and one cannot change because it is innate....