Topic: Is Watching Indecency Considered Cheating?
izzyphoto1977's photo
Sun 11/10/13 09:26 AM

To me its pretty simple. In the majority of instances its kept hidden and used as a means of self gratification while excluding their partner. A relationship is about coming together, considering each others feelings and views and making mutual descisions based on that. So yes! Its cheating. It doesnt even have to be morphed into a "moral" issue.


That's why at one point I said that if you are hiding what you are doing then you are cheating on your partner in some respect.

no photo
Sun 11/10/13 01:54 PM




personally I do not buy into personal/cultural relativism, I think pedophilia, cannabalism, and rape are wrong and those cultures are flaws. Rape is illegal in arab countries FYI it is drastcally under reported, however, because of the stigma atached to the WOMAN (believe it or not) in the religious and rural communities in particular. (not much different than the west really)


That is how you feel. Just because you think that those aeration's in societal norms are evil doesn't mean it wasn't and or isn't morally acceptable in the past or in certain places in the present. Thanks for the correction on the Arab thing by the way. I was mostly thinking of a movie called Not without my daughter. I recall a scene where the character played by Sally Field was pushed up against the wall and was going to be raped till the guy, who to protect her as I recall, said he was her husband and the guy with some force left soon after. As I recall the reason that was given was that because she wasn't married the guy could pretty much do what he wanted to her. It has been a long time since I saw that movie so I could be wrong about it. But I know it was based on a true story.

The thing that changes what is morally right in ones society it education. I am sure there were other cultures that pedophilia was morally acceptable and I expect it is widely unacceptable now days because people see the damage it does just like they see the damage done from adultery in committed relationships and other things that are morally wrong in today's societies.

I am going to close this statement by saying that it is often ones rigid adherence to their morals beliefs that ends in mass-murders and wars which I would say is just as morally wrong as the thing that the people start fighting over. That doesn't mean that people should accept all differences. But there are plenty of things throughout history that were started over retarded things. Like the feud of the McCoys and Hatfields. hahaha


are you implying that I am rigid? I don;t know that anyone on here knows me well enough to judge that.

I tend not to be at all rigid in a personal sense I am definitely a rule bender. I will admit however that I have heightened sense of the value of trying to make the best choices.

certain acts of degradation disrespect and violence are wrong. I stand by that. they may be practiced by someone somewhere, but that does not make them acceptable. I totally agree with what you said about education. the corollary to that is to learn about respect for oneself and others. to honor ourselves and others does not include non consensual acts of violence. people used to burn witches and warlocks too. just because something was one way, or is one way does not mean that it is acceptable. it wasn't acceptable to many with in those medieval societies - just a bunch of perverts in power.


I can't recall what I was thinking when I mention rigidly sticking to ones moral or religious beliefs. But I know when I was talking about people being executed for differences in belief I was thinking of things like Indians, primitive tribes who practiced cannibalism or ritual sacrifice, I bet if it was checked on the tribe in that documentary I mentioned would have been hit hard by christian societies because they didn't understand nor care to try to understand the tribe. Holy wars were another thing I was thinking.

Thinking about how this post was started and how it's progressed though. It seems to me that it wasn't started to get answers to a question. But to find people who think different and convert them to a more rigid moral/religious view. At least that's the way it seems with what I observed. Seems like a trap since one person was saying they don't think watching porn was cheating and then another person was giving replies that seem like things from a bible. Maybe that's just my observation though.


right I getcha, and agree there's a big difference between expressing ones beliefs and expecting everyone to agree. I think most things are on a continuum of relative intensity. as we evolve as a species however, I have hope that violence will become less a part of who we are collectively. the question in the OP I had already answered when we got off track.

I think any time we seek support outside of the relationship for something that we usually share with our partner (hiding or going elsewhere for gratification) it is some form or degree of infidelity. but between the pair to determine what is acceptable there jmhoflowerforyou

izzyphoto1977's photo
Sun 11/10/13 03:33 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynimet1uY_Q This sonversation makes me think of this. hahaha

Mehall's photo
Mon 11/11/13 02:13 PM
If your married and lusting to b with others you should get a divorce!! Or b in an open marriage because love the one your with our move on it's not fair to the other person and there feelings. be open and honest

izzyphoto1977's photo
Mon 11/11/13 10:29 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edqcAiMOYa4 Would watching this music video count as watching indecency? Look at some of the comments and you'll see plenty of people compare it to porn. hahaha

no photo
Tue 11/12/13 12:05 AM
Watching porn or looking at other people is not cheating.

izzyphoto1977's photo
Tue 11/12/13 12:29 AM

Watching porn or looking at other people is not cheating.


I agree. But if you happen to be watching other people through a window. It is probably illegal. lol

uche9aa's photo
Wed 11/13/13 12:17 AM

Watching porn or looking at other people is not cheating.
"Watching or looking at other people"what a clever defence for absurdity and filth of the mind!

Rednaked's photo
Wed 11/13/13 12:44 AM
Ok just my opinion but if your only watching it and it satisfies the part of you that isn't satisfied in your relationship then to me it's a safety net so you don't go and act on the fantasies or urges that you may have therefore it's a supplemental crutch like a nicotine patch

no photo
Wed 11/13/13 12:53 AM
Is it considered cheating? By many, yes. And by many, no. Since you're not asking whether or not it *is* cheating I guess you must already have an answer and are satisfied with it. Are you collecting data for a survey so you can support a thesis or something? laugh

larsson71's photo
Wed 11/13/13 05:27 AM
There's no way it can be considered cheating! If that were the case then every time you watched a film that had a Bank job in it, you'd be guilty of Armed Robbery, or a horror film and you'd be guilty of Murder? Come on and get real here? You'd only be guilty if you actually carried out the act? If someone tried to stop me from watching something and came out with that excuse why. I wouldn't be with them for long, as that tells me what their insecurities are like and where does it end?

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 11/13/13 09:32 AM

There's no way it can be considered cheating! If that were the case then every time you watched a film that had a Bank job in it, you'd be guilty of Armed Robbery, or a horror film and you'd be guilty of Murder? Come on and get real here? You'd only be guilty if you actually carried out the act? If someone tried to stop me from watching something and came out with that excuse why. I wouldn't be with them for long, as that tells me what their insecurities are like and where does it end?

Nice argument. Difference is though that they're not really robbing a bank or killing someone but in porn they are having sex for real.
Apart from that, the reasons for watching porn are different and touches upon a side that is part of the relationship: sex and intimacy.
Watching a bank heist has no connection to that whatsoever, unless someone gets off on that.

Easy to brush it aside, but there's many factors at play that haven't been defined in the OP.
- reasons for watching
- frequency of watching
- being open or not about watching
- a couple's sex-life
and so on.

If a guy never wants to have sex with his missus, or only after he's watched porn, or if he sneaks of to a room to watch porn the entire evening and so on and so forth, there is a reason for concern.

Not saying I feel it's cheating, just saying; there's a little more to it.

izzyphoto1977's photo
Wed 11/13/13 09:44 AM

There's no way it can be considered cheating! If that were the case then every time you watched a film that had a Bank job in it, you'd be guilty of Armed Robbery, or a horror film and you'd be guilty of Murder? Come on and get real here? You'd only be guilty if you actually carried out the act? If someone tried to stop me from watching something and came out with that excuse why. I wouldn't be with them for long, as that tells me what their insecurities are like and where does it end?


I guess I would be a serial killer, ghost hunter, pro-wreslter, hooker and numerous other things too. Not sure where I would belong with all the shows and movies I've watched. Probably death-row. lol

With what you said it's like one of my favorite things to do when watching talk shows. Every commercial break they say something like if your child in a gang member call this number. If you got a sex change call. If you married a person who turned out to be a man instead of woman call. So with each suggestion I'll just add that to what I am. So by the end of one show I can end up claiming to be a cross dressing mother/father of a gangmember who married a turtle. hahaha

izzyphoto1977's photo
Wed 11/13/13 10:15 AM


Watching porn or looking at other people is not cheating.
"Watching or looking at other people"what a clever defence for absurdity and filth of the mind!


Why does it seem you're only arguing with women on this thread? Are you hoping to convert them to your way of thinking or religion so you can marry them?

Toks88's photo
Wed 11/13/13 10:22 PM

If you are married, and if you are lusting after someone other than your spouse, then you are cheating.


Classic truth!

no photo
Wed 11/13/13 10:50 PM
That means that if the one you're with texts someone else, and especially if they ask to meet them, that it's not cheating because they didn't ACTUALLY do it?

Seriously?!

No. Cheating, trying to cheat, thinking about cheating...IS cheating. If you are expending energy on something or someone else that should be toward/with your partner, then it's cheating. If you feel it's not...then "play the field", or find someone that doesn't mind you cheating on them. I just hope ya don't mind when they do it to you, just sayin'.

uche9aa's photo
Wed 11/13/13 11:34 PM
Edited by uche9aa on Wed 11/13/13 11:42 PM



Watching porn or looking at other people is not cheating.
"Watching or looking at other people"what a clever defence for absurdity and filth of the mind!


Why does it seem you're only arguing with women on this thread? Are you hoping to convert them to your way of thinking or religion so you can marry them?
Hahahahahahaha,not at all.I seem to be argueing with them because most of them have complicated cognitive domain that needs alignment often

izzyphoto1977's photo
Wed 11/13/13 11:54 PM




Watching porn or looking at other people is not cheating.
"Watching or looking at other people"what a clever defence for absurdity and filth of the mind!


Why does it seem you're only arguing with women on this thread? Are you hoping to convert them to your way of thinking or religion so you can marry them?
Hahahahahahaha,not at all.I seem to be argueing with them because most of them have complicated cognitive domain that needs alignment often


How do you know it's them and not you. It seems sexist to say that about women when there are men saying the same things as the women you are arguing with.

uche9aa's photo
Thu 11/14/13 12:07 AM
Edited by uche9aa on Thu 11/14/13 12:12 AM





Watching porn or looking at other people is not cheating.
"Watching or looking at other people"what a clever defence for absurdity and filth of the mind!


Why does it seem you're only arguing with women on this thread? Are you hoping to convert them to your way of thinking or religion so you can marry them?
Hahahahahahaha,not at all.I seem to be argueing with them because most of them have complicated cognitive domain that needs alignment often


How do you know it's them and not you. It seems sexist to say that about women when there are men saying the same things as the women you are arguing with.
Izzyphoto,dont instigate women against me oh,haha.Seriously men think more straight unlike women,with the exception of some perverts though

izzyphoto1977's photo
Thu 11/14/13 12:35 AM






Watching porn or looking at other people is not cheating.
"Watching or looking at other people"what a clever defence for absurdity and filth of the mind!


Why does it seem you're only arguing with women on this thread? Are you hoping to convert them to your way of thinking or religion so you can marry them?
Hahahahahahaha,not at all.I seem to be argueing with them because most of them have complicated cognitive domain that needs alignment often


How do you know it's them and not you. It seems sexist to say that about women when there are men saying the same things as the women you are arguing with.
Izzyphoto,dont instigate women against me oh,haha.Seriously men think more straight unlike women,with the exception of some perverts though


I don't have to instigate anything when you say things like that. And I represent those perverts. One mans perversion is another mans life. A persons sex has nothing to do with how clearly a person thinks. Sleep deprivation, brain damage, drug abuse and various other things do. Like getting old. hahaha