Topic: crash on your friend
kevin555187's photo
Fri 11/08/13 09:08 AM
how do you tell you long time friend you got a crush on her?????

dcastelmissy's photo
Fri 11/08/13 09:16 AM
Look her straight in the eye and tell her, "Do you realize I have a crush on you?" What's so complicated about that? laugh

no photo
Fri 11/08/13 09:20 AM
Hard to move forward when you have already been "Friend Zoned"
Good luck pard !

drinker

no photo
Fri 11/08/13 09:21 AM
Edited by 2KidsMom on Fri 11/08/13 10:08 AM
I would say, YO Dude....<33333 :-*:-*:-*Your Special...love :heart: smitten drool


snickers*

Kaleijoscope's photo
Fri 11/08/13 09:27 AM
If you're too shy to speak, write it down, or let the flowers do the talking...

kevin555187's photo
Fri 11/08/13 09:29 AM
:smile: the fact that it might not go the way you want it to n just that the relationship might never be the same? Smash

dcastelmissy's photo
Fri 11/08/13 09:51 AM
If you remain afraid, you never go forward. But it's your decision. Take a chance and maybe the feelings are returned, or take a chance and maybe they're not returned. If you never take a chance you will never know one way or the other. Personally, I would want to know. Good Luck! :smile:

PacificStar48's photo
Fri 11/08/13 09:55 AM
Depends what you are willing to risk.

As a woman who has found myself in that situation a few times over the years I prefer a nice direct conversation in a private place where we can talk without being interrupted. Also where one or both of us can leave at will with time to recover from the answer without and audience. Take a handkerchief because there may be tears.

If the feeling is not mutual and the friendship is genuine it is embarrassing at best and painfully emotional at worst. I can be a pretty tough cookie but telling someone you consider a friend that you do not want more, can not "love" them, or don't find them attractive in a personal way is a miserable experience. You feel selfish, guilty, and overwhelmed. Sometimes it can even feel threatening because we expect friends to respect boundries. That is why it is very important to make such a reveal private. And be gracious about excepting a no answer.

You also want to be truly prepared for a yes answer. Relationships based around friendship can take giant steps forward in rapid succession and over whelm you if you are not ready. And not ready for the pressure that may appear if mutual friends and family now become aware it is more than friendship. While hopefully such a revelation would not lead to immediate sex you want to have protection and them know if there are any circumstances that they need to know to make an informed choice. If you have a private health issue it can become a very public issue if not handled well.

Don't overlook that race/religion/money may not be an issue in friendship it can become a HUGE issue in a relationship. Have your thoughts in a row and if a crush is not worth the consequences leave things alone and crush until it wears itself out. My thought is if you are calling it a crush you probably want to handle this by doing nothing until you know it is more.

If it is in the work place it is probably going to affect your job and hers so I can not stress how important it is to keep that information out of the work setting. If you can not make some distance between you if you get a negative response I would suggest waiting until you have a separate job.

Do NOT make this revelation in front of family or friends. Nobody likes being ganged up on. Yes it might influence the result initially but do you want someone to want you for you or because they were cornered.

If you are concerned that you can not get your words out then take a letter and read it in person. I would NOT recommend giving them the letter because if things do not work out you may regret it.

If you are not sure if it is anything more than a crush I would NOT present a gift, especially jewelry or flowers because that will change the tone of the relationship and when the crush wears off you may not want the person to say it was more.

Will add if it is more don't be stupid and let this chance to be happy slip away. You and your friend will regret it for years. I have for a very nice guy friend that I only found out years later did not tell me and now we live thousands of miles apart.





no photo
Fri 11/08/13 10:05 AM

:smile: the fact that it might not go the way you want it to n just that the relationship might never be the same? Smash


Awww, I hear you Kevin.....I was in that situation once and when he told me how he felt I was very flattered and told him so... Because he was my friend and I loved him, I also told him I did not have romantic feelings for him...For a time, things were awkward, but we got past it and our friendship became even stronger...It lasted for 22 years until he lost his battle with cancer...I think you should tell her and when you do, be sure to let her know you will understand and accept it if she does not feel the same...Good luck!!flowerforyou

Suntita2's photo
Fri 11/08/13 11:52 AM
You men go keeping quiet on stuff that needed saying yesterday.It makes you lose out to losers.We girls love our friends(male)like 4 real.Agape.It pains me to see a man give a woman/friend EVERY kind of attention,support and advice as she wobbles thru' a bad relationship.It would be easier to just say hey,I love you,let him go and lets try and work this my way as your man.I....would love that.

kevin555187's photo
Sat 11/09/13 08:07 AM
thanx to all of you! Think i know exactly what to do! Whatever way i need to find out, got to take that chance!

no photo
Sat 11/09/13 08:21 AM

thanx to all of you! Think i know exactly what to do! Whatever way i need to find out, got to take that chance!


:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: GOOD LUCK, let us know how it turns out!bigsmile

ridewytepony's photo
Sat 11/09/13 10:21 AM
Don't know but if its another guy..don't do it on national tv...like the Jenny Jones show.
Its been proven to be fatal. ohwell

no photo
Sat 11/09/13 01:02 PM
Edited by paintecards01 on Sat 11/09/13 01:03 PM

Don't know but if its another guy..don't do it on national tv...like the Jenny Jones show.
Its been proven to be fatal. ohwell


laugh