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| Topic: Sometimes, being a Mentor Sucks | |
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Many y'all are aware I have an Anchor Brat been living with me for the last couple years.
Making sure his homework gets done, going to school conferences, standing down a bully for him, calling the cops when he was 2 hours late getting home from school. All that was easy. Even, helping him and holding him when his first love broke his heart was a breeze. Now, I have to help him grieve. His Daddy died this morning about 10. He was full of cancer. They found out about three weeks ago. One of the things the kid told me was, when he turned 18 his Dad was gonna take him to the cantina for a beer. I had a feeling, his Dad wouldn't make it to see the kids 18th Bday so, I took the kid over last Wednesday after school. I brought a couple beers each for him and his Dad to share and do some man talk. I took his Mom down to a sidewalk cafe to have a coke and give the kid and Dad time and space. Half hour and the kid calls. His dad is asleep. They didn't talk much. I explained to the Dad, the kid needs to know who his Dad is. His roots, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe, just maybe, before Dad died, him and the kid had this fundo de corazon talk. His Dad loved and took care of the kid. He didn't suffer a divorce. Hate seeing my kid hurt like this. Yeah, he may not be blood but, he is my boy and he's a great kid. |
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Wow Willing2 how very fortunate this young man is to had a "Dad" like you there for him in the good times and in the bad. I hope one day he will look up at you with the love and respect you deserve for being a model he can look up to. Blessings to you for the good you have done in this boy's life so far...and in the future. Thanks for sharing this story with us, your Mingle2 family!
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Many y'all are aware I have an Anchor Brat been living with me for the last couple years. Making sure his homework gets done, going to school conferences, standing down a bully for him, calling the cops when he was 2 hours late getting home from school. All that was easy. Even, helping him and holding him when his first love broke his heart was a breeze. Now, I have to help him grieve. His Daddy died this morning about 10. He was full of cancer. They found out about three weeks ago. One of the things the kid told me was, when he turned 18 his Dad was gonna take him to the cantina for a beer. I had a feeling, his Dad wouldn't make it to see the kids 18th Bday so, I took the kid over last Wednesday after school. I brought a couple beers each for him and his Dad to share and do some man talk. I took his Mom down to a sidewalk cafe to have a coke and give the kid and Dad time and space. Half hour and the kid calls. His dad is asleep. They didn't talk much. I explained to the Dad, the kid needs to know who his Dad is. His roots, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe, just maybe, before Dad died, him and the kid had this fundo de corazon talk. His Dad loved and took care of the kid. He didn't suffer a divorce. Hate seeing my kid hurt like this. Yeah, he may not be blood but, he is my boy and he's a great kid. Totally agree with Missy. Sending my love and prayers to you and your boy willing2
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Bless you for your empathy and caring.
There is a saying that any man can be a father but it takes a great man to be a Daddy. Daddy's often have to shoulder very acute pains but don't ever kid yourself that just because a biological child grieves the loss of a birth parent that the comfort they receive and the depth of love it will return is any less because I guarantee you that it is not. My sympathy and prayers are there for you as you get through this difficult time. It is true that we feel no pain as much as the pain we feel for our children. ((((((((((Willing2)))))))))) |
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Your action is very impressive. I'm sure that he already has consciousness of the parental love and guidance you're fiving him, and especially all the care you've put in allowing him and his dad to have this last talk and a beer, while caring about the mom. Very impressive. I'm sorry for you too, as you're probably somehow grieving too, seeing your boy grieving. Take care of yourself, your pain is mixed with the love you give and certainly receive back...
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Heart-warming
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Many y'all are aware I have an Anchor Brat been living with me for the last couple years. Making sure his homework gets done, going to school conferences, standing down a bully for him, calling the cops when he was 2 hours late getting home from school. All that was easy. Even, helping him and holding him when his first love broke his heart was a breeze. Now, I have to help him grieve. His Daddy died this morning about 10. He was full of cancer. They found out about three weeks ago. One of the things the kid told me was, when he turned 18 his Dad was gonna take him to the cantina for a beer. I had a feeling, his Dad wouldn't make it to see the kids 18th Bday so, I took the kid over last Wednesday after school. I brought a couple beers each for him and his Dad to share and do some man talk. I took his Mom down to a sidewalk cafe to have a coke and give the kid and Dad time and space. Half hour and the kid calls. His dad is asleep. They didn't talk much. I explained to the Dad, the kid needs to know who his Dad is. His roots, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, etc. Maybe, just maybe, before Dad died, him and the kid had this fundo de corazon talk. His Dad loved and took care of the kid. He didn't suffer a divorce. Hate seeing my kid hurt like this. Yeah, he may not be blood but, he is my boy and he's a great kid. Those few minutes will always be something "your boy" will hold on to and draw from...Thanks to you, he had closure in the form of one on one time with his daddy...Now he has another good man to look to for support, love, and guidance through his time of loss.. 
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Thanks, y'all.
Monday, I will go over to Mexico and bring them a good, home-cooked meal. They will eat if I tell 'em to. Only thing I could think to tell his Mom was, I was so sorry he died and if she needs anything from over here to just let me know. I can't take away her pain. It is hers. She has to carry it. She has to experience the loss and live the mourning process and the shock of loss. I can be an ear and confidant. She alone, has to shoulder the burden. I'm not very well versed at grieving the loss of parents. Mine have died a few years back. I felt nada. Then again, that was our relationship. This kid has/had a pair of parents who love him. And, loved him while being a family. How very strange and alien that all feels to me. |
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Hi I would not say mentoring sucks / u r a good man for being involved, and I would say thank u for the blessing.
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I am truly sorry to hear this.
 Thankfully he has the love and support you provide to aid him in his time of need. My heart goes out and I wish all the best to you, him and his family. |
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