hi my son has been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome which is making him extremely intelligent my son is really polite and goes to school to learn, this does not go down to well with the other kids who bully him constantly and I mean real bullying e.g. books thrown at him, being spat at, being beaten up, etc. he has no friends at school and he was really unhappy. he has been to 5 different schools and this has been the story since he was 4 years old. when he started high school year 7 last year he did well up until the second week and then I had to pull him out because the bullying got so bad. the people that have the power to get him statemented have denied the action which would of given him protection and a helping hand to cope with the school environment. so now I have a choice do I send him to yet another school or do I become broke for a year to 18 months paying for a tutor to get him to the gcse's early so he can bypass high school and attend college. your advice would be great and very appreciated. :)

hi. I just saw your post and took a look at your profile to see the region where you are.
im not sure how rhe school system works over there. but here in California, it takes goinh through the school district levels of command to get anything done. you start with your local school and principal. have them do an evaluation for special needs or special education. this would lead to an educational plan foryyour child and puts the responsibility on the school personnel to make sure it's followed for your child's success. it gives you a binding agreement where the school has to provide the best learning environment for your child.
if you see this being denied, get this in writing about why they aren't helping you.
follow up to the next level which is the district level. it could be a superintendent or assistant superintendent.
keep going if you have to with the school board or board of directors.
I would try this before spending your money on private school or tutoring.

also find out what the education laws are in your area. it helps if you know what to talk about when you go in.

thank you I will have to wait till the end of the holidays but I will definitely do that as I know he cant just go in without any procedures put in thank you for the reply.

Their might be other programs that your state might have to help children with Aspergers. Do you have a Dept of DDS in your state.

In CT we have to go through DDS (Department of Developmental Services) to get help for these children. I would check into this at the state level.

I have tried so many times to get his case heard from the dds here in Birmingham uk and they keep saying without the statement he is not entitled to any help. he will be treated as any other child and will not get a look in when it comes to getting a school with the actual facilities to help him.

i was bullied from the time i was in 7th grade til 10th grade (when i finally dropped out),due to my size (i was about 5'3 and weighed about 80 pounds)and in that time,i learned your typical bully are lower class and what most would consider "slow learners".if you can out smart them,the bullying will usually stop or atleast slow down.

each school year i had a new and different group of bullies i had to deal with.at one time i had to deal with 3 different groups in one year but i never backed down.i,like your son,was hit in the head with books,shoved into lockers,and had paint poured into my hair.when i had paint poured into my hair,that was the last straw for that group and i did fight back physically and that stopped that group.the rest of them i just out smarted and i guess they finally saw they had nothing to fight back with

i also suggest that your son find a teacher that he can trust and can go to when he needs to.i had a teacher like that (all the students feared him)and he helped me a lot.

What statement do they want?

here when a child gets diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome or autism they sometimes get a letter saying this is what help he needs and you as a school by law have to do it. without it the help the child gets is very limited

Does this come from his physician? Who writes the letter?

thank you for that I too know what its like to get bullied I didn't get hit so much as they would follow me around doing the trumpet sound and call me beef burger. I don't know where that came from the whole time at school I ate like 1 burger :( your lucky you had that 1 teacher I wish I had, had that. my son does not have that either and he will just stand there till they finished and then lock himself in the toilet at school and cry. he then came home to tell me, he just doesn't think to fight back when its happening even though I've tried to get him to be a bit tougher its just not him.

the education authority they gather up all the evidence from schools and doctors that have seen him and a form from me and then they make the decision

They won't write the letter? That is terrible. No one in this day and age should be bullied.

I had a friend in school.. Junior High..
used to get bullied all the time..
until one day... his dad came to school and confronted the bullies..
.. he waited till recess... bullies being bullies.. we're at the end of the schoolyard.. out of sight so to speak..
.. his dad showed up in his work truck..
pulling a commercial wood chipper..
.. he said to the boys.. if I ever hear of you being nasty to anymore kids..
. I'm going to feed you to my wood chipper.... and I'm not going to come to your school to get you...
I will wait for the weekend..
. find you around the neighborhood..
. when nobody's around.. to see me..
and I'll disappear you then...
. nobody will know what happened to you.. you will just show up on the cover of a milk carton.. another little child gone missing..... well needless to say the bullying stopped...
....hmmm.. but now that I think of it..
. I don't remember seeing that bully.
after the following weekend..ohhh. Snapple......... this was just a schoolyard story of course...
but o/p have you talked to the bully's parents... confronted them.. sometimes parents don't know what their children are up to...

Saying prayers for you and your son, Op. He's a very strong boy with a very loving mother.

there is always homeschooling, if you are able and have the time, otherwise i would recomend a catholic school, or seventh day adventist. both expect kids to behave and both have a big lever to make it happen... parents dont want to pay tuition pnly to get thier kid banned from the place. Catholics use a sliding scale for tuition based on your income. I went to catholic schoiol, and my class reads like a whos who in the area now. ( except for me of course)

It makes me sick how school administrators still to this day don't take bullying seriously. I feel for kids who have a rough time because of other peoples' personal vile actions against a child who suffer from lack of compassion and love in their lives.

If the authorities aren't going to do anything to help (been there and done that, went to a school who was the same way) it's time to take him out. Public schooling isn't an environment for everyone. I remember students at my middle and high school acted the same way to newer students who never fit into the clique hierarchy of the school. They were always shamed and ridiculed while the teachers would just watch the brutal fighting unfold and do nothing. So that's what I would suggest, remove him from the hostility, for his sake, emotionally and in the long term.

thank you for all the reply's it really does help to know that people actually care thank you :)

It happens where I live too. My sister drives her kids to school because she said there are bullies on the bus. I don't think they are handling the problem very well.

that is so true they never actually punish the bully they just well do nothing and it makes me so angry. I think I've found him a good school which runs a Saturday school so he can catch up, but this time I'm going to warn the school because now he has actually been diagnosed with Asperger's they have to take the bullying seriously. if not I think I shall sit in the class with him lord knows I could do with some extra maths lessons lol I think I must of got short changed at least three times today lol.