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Topic: I love you... But you've lied...
eiren81's photo
Thu 08/14/14 06:57 AM
Is Thier any men who love and accept a single mother woman???

msharmony's photo
Thu 08/14/14 06:58 AM
how is single motherhood tied into lying?

flobadob's photo
Thu 08/14/14 07:07 AM
many men would accept a woman with children, some even seek them as it shows a level of commitment

but how is that linked to lying?

no photo
Thu 08/14/14 07:21 AM
Been there, done that. Took her and her 2 daughters.

eiren81's photo
Thu 08/14/14 07:21 AM
So,what happen after?

eiren81's photo
Thu 08/14/14 07:22 AM
I dont think so...bcause after they know they talk with a single mom...they turn to talk lies...

msharmony's photo
Thu 08/14/14 07:40 AM
haters gonna hate, liars gonna lie, I don't think it has anything to do with parental status

no photo
Thu 08/14/14 07:44 AM
So,what happen after?


After they left for college we had 3 more. 14 years after that she filled for divorce. So, 31 years with her. Nice story, huh?

sparkyae5's photo
Thu 08/14/14 07:47 AM

I dont think so...bcause after they know they talk with a single mom...they turn to talk lies...


your mind is made up---its amazing how when we ''stop'' focusing on a issue it goes away----''attraction

is not a choice'' its a emotional choice not a logical choice so we have a part weather the choices are good

or not so good---ie we are the other half of the game we find ourselves in--- the issue about

lying means you must feel like a victim---for the drama triangle to work you need at least two of the

three people with a starting gate position of victim, persecutor, or rescuer, oh by the way they all three

feel justified in there position and all eventually end up as the victim---we all have at some time felt the

sting---:thumbsup: good luck--the fix is to see our part---

eiren81's photo
Thu 08/14/14 08:09 AM
Ohh what a story you have btween her...

eiren81's photo
Thu 08/14/14 08:16 AM
I turn off the conversation btween so that it cannot hurt so deeply before i realized and prove that his story is all lie..

no photo
Thu 08/14/14 09:21 AM
Edited by NoMindGamesPlease on Thu 08/14/14 09:23 AM

I turn off the conversation btween so that it cannot hurt so deeply before i realized and prove that his story is all lie..


After 25 years of marriage I believed I knew my husband well. I trusted him completely and respected his privacy. He had some kind of a "diary" that was always in his desk, never locked or out of reach, but I was never even tempted to sneak a peek. Sometimes he read some of his taught to me and then we would exchange opinions.
Cats sometimes want to be alone for hours. Of, course I would get worried if my cat didn't show up after being called, but if he was in one of his hiding spots I would leave him alone. He just needed some peace and quiet.
Everyone deserves their privacy and some peace and quiet moments. Yes, even pets.
Few days after husband's death I wanted to contact some of his friends to let them know about it.
I already let everyone else know, but I couldn't find few phone numbers and I knew my husband had them on the note he put in his diary. I have seen the note. He showed it to me. He was about to write those numbers down in his address book, but meanwhile they were in his diary in order not to be misplaced.
That was my idea. His desk was full of papers and notes, so it would be easy to lose the note with phone numbers. He took my advice to either to write them down immediately or to put them somewhere where he will easily find them. He told me the note was in his diary.
So, for the first time in 25 years I opened a drawer looking for those phone numbers. The last few pages of his diary were also his last taught, so I did read them, which I would never do if he was alive. I missed him. I missed our discussions about everything and anything under the sun. I wondered what he would say about some recent events, but I regret reading those pages.
You think you know someone and trust this person to find out that you didn't really know him. Some taught were never shared. I think he assumed where it would lead and decided to keep his mouth shut. After cancer surgery and health problems he needed someone who loved him and took care of him. That's why he never told me some things.
So it was a fear and a lack of trust? The same trust he was unconditionally given! He was in position to financially ruin me if he wanted to, which he almost done, but not intentionally. That's a whole different story about giving a trust to those who shouldn't be trusted. Before you invest - INVESTIGATE and cover your assETS. Fortunately my plan B helped, so I survived.
On the other hand he always insisted and pressured me to speak up and tell him when something was on my mind. He wouldn't give up until he found out, although it wasn't anything to worry about. I just didn't want to speak about some things until I could understand them, take them as they are and react accordingly. It takes time for taught to settle down and crystalize. Meanwhile, I'd rather not discuss it or take any action.
So, I felt cheated. I lived with someone who didn't want to share some of his taught and feelings because of a fear of losing me. He misjudged me. Completely!
Well...that's life!

sparkyae5's photo
Thu 08/14/14 11:24 AM
Edited by sparkyae5 on Thu 08/14/14 11:40 AM
WHEN WE ARE BLAMING WE ARE ASSUMING THE VICTOM ROLE---WHEN ITS REPEATED IT MEANS WE ARE

RECYCLING FAVORITE FEELINGS AND TRYING TO VALIDATE A LIMITING BELIEF--WHEN WE EXPERIENCE


EVENT AND FEELINGS FROM IT THE FEELINGS ARE BURN'T INTO OUR MEMORY--AND IN A LOT OF CASES

THE EVENT IS EVEN FORGOTTEN AND THE FEELINGS REMAIN --- GRIEVING AND LETTING GO SO TO GET

ON WITH YOUR LIFE MAY BE THE

HARDEST THING A PERSON CAN DO FOR THEMSELVES--FRITZ PERLS CALLED IT THE FIRTAL VOID--- IN

ORDER TO REALY SEE AND EXPERIENCE ANOTHER WE MUST CLEAR OUR HEADS OF ALL THE BAD

EXPERIENCES AND JUNK IN OUR HEADS AND THE STUFF WE PLAN TO DO IN FUTURE---AND KEEP BACK

ALL JUNK THATS TRYING TO GET BACK IN (REACH BACKS) AND THEN WE MAY FIND WE HAVE NOTHING

TO SAY TO THEM
---:heart: P.S.---I HAVE YET TO MEET A PERSON WHO WAS POO FREE AND OR NOT CARRYING A CROSS---

BECAUSE EACH OF US IS A WORK IN PROGRESS---ONLY WE KNOW WHAT IS TRUELY IN OUR HEARTS---

no photo
Thu 08/14/14 11:46 AM
It takes time for wounds to heal in order to be equally objective (as much as possible) when judging yourself and others in some situations.
We all make mistakes and it is not easy to admit that, but once we face inconvenient truth, although it hurts, it brings a relief.
Regarding the roles...hmmm, Shakespeare has seen a whole life as a stage, but it still doesn't mean that everyone wears a mask and plays a role in a relationship.
If someone's trust was abused it is a fact, not some theatre play with a role of a victim on a stage of life.
It happens. But life goes on and the smart ones among us do not repeat the same mistake. LOL
Most of us do repeat it, but are not even aware of it. Recently I talked to a friend who told me that most people repeat the same mistake through their lives. We do not realise it because of the variation on a theme. It's not Sally, but Sue this time and it's not Toronto, but Thornhill, so it is not the same?
Well.. I realized he was right. But it is my conclusion, not the scientifically proven theory, so do not shoot, please. LOL
Again, it has nothing to do with roles, but everything to do with patterns of a learned behaviour.
The hardest thing is finding a key of our own minds and feelings, the key that opens the doors of our souls and helps us find answers why we do things we do.

sparkyae5's photo
Thu 08/14/14 11:54 AM

It takes time for wounds to heal in order to be equally objective (as much as possible) when judging yourself and others in some situations.
We all make mistakes and it is not easy to admit that, but once we face inconvenient truth, although it hurts, it brings a relief.
Regarding the roles...hmmm, Shakespeare has seen a whole life as a stage, but it still doesn't mean that everyone wears a mask and plays a role in a relationship.
If someone's trust was abused it is a fact, not some theatre play with a role of a victim on a stage of life.
It happens. But life goes on and the smart ones among us do not repeat the same mistake. LOL
Most of us do repeat it, but are not even aware of it. Recently I talked to a friend who told me that most people repeat the same mistake through their lives. We do not realise it because of the variation on a theme. It's not Sally, but Sue this time and it's not Toronto, but Thornhill, so it is not the same?
Well.. I realized he was right. But it is my conclusion, not the scientifically proven theory, so do not shoot, please. LOL
Again, it has nothing to do with roles, but everything to do with patterns of a learned behaviour.
The hardest thing is finding a key of our own minds and feelings, the key that opens the doors of our souls and helps us find answers why we do things we do.



WELL SAID---YOU ARE WISE BEYOND YOUR YEARS---

no photo
Thu 08/14/14 12:07 PM
I love you... But you've lied...



So I really must go now... Ciao Bella! waving

eiren81's photo
Thu 08/14/14 12:11 PM
I agree both of you...

Thanks for your thoughts...:smile:

dillest's photo
Thu 08/14/14 12:22 PM
Every one lies, I think anyone believing there going to get a partner that wont lie to them is seriously fooling themselves. how many of you ever told a lie to your partner?....even a small lie to save face, or prevent an argument? or perhaps it wasnt a lie you just didnt tell them something, or it was only half of the truth. I think its hipocritical to not want a partner to lie to you. because then if they told the truth 100% of the time there would be problems, numerous of problems based on the thoughts of the other half not agreeing with you. fact is we all lie, I think the question is who wants a partner to be honest about the important stuff.

no photo
Thu 08/14/14 12:25 PM


WELL SAID---YOU ARE WISE BEYOND YOUR YEARS---


If I were that wise I wouldn't make some mistakes to begin with. LOL
I am not sure if you mean it or you are cynical, so I'll just leave it there.
flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 08/14/14 12:35 PM

Every one lies, I think anyone believing there going to get a partner that wont lie to them is seriously fooling themselves. how many of you ever told a lie to your partner?....even a small lie to save face, or prevent an argument? or perhaps it wasnt a lie you just didnt tell them something, or it was only half of the truth. I think its hipocritical to not want a partner to lie to you. because then if they told the truth 100% of the time there would be problems, numerous of problems based on the thoughts of the other half not agreeing with you. fact is we all lie, I think the question is who wants a partner to be honest about the important stuff.

It is not the end of the world if s/he really didn't like those new car seats, but important things should be cleared out.
It's just my opinion. Not everyone thinks or feels the same.


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