Topic: Having children..any regrets?
no photo
Thu 03/05/15 03:45 PM
Stupid question.



None.

messi_is_a_tim_1888's photo
Thu 03/05/15 04:19 PM

So I currently stand at a crossroads. I am actually going to see a marriage counselor today(just me). Basically my wife wants kids and I don't. I am the rational not very emotional kind of person. My wife even accuses me of being cold sometimes which is probably true. She knows I don't realize I am coming across that way. Anyway, the main point is I was wondering if people have ever regretted their choice on children. Whether you decided to have them or not, did you later regret your choice and why.


One of these days you'll look back and regret not having kids! My boys are my life and the best thing that I've ever had happen to me in my life!

Kaustuv1's photo
Fri 03/06/15 04:30 AM
If children never make their mother 'cry out of psychological distress', then having such children, might be considered to be a blessing, anywhere in this world. :-)

no photo
Fri 03/06/15 01:22 PM
I don't have any kids and that was a choice I made. I have never once in my life regretted that decision.

no1phD's photo
Fri 03/06/15 01:23 PM
everytime I go into the pantry..
our see a new hole in the wall..
..grrr.

phoenix62's photo
Sat 03/07/15 12:31 PM
there is really nothing in the world i would give my life for except for my child in spite of the ups and downs - "Having a child is like wearing your heart on the outside of your body for the rest of your life.":smile: (and that's okay with you)

no photo
Sat 03/07/15 12:47 PM
I can't imagine my life without my kids.
They cooled me down and gave me a sense of responsibility.

I did try to sell them on eBay but that's besides the point

Kindlightheart's photo
Sat 03/07/15 12:58 PM
When I turned 18 I went to see my doctor...told him I wanted my tubes tied...he said no..said I was too young to do that and I might want kids someday...I never "wanted" to have kids...the three I have...all "oops" babies..after each was born I tried to get the doctor to tie the tubes...after the third he finally did...I didn't want to bring kids into a world that had so much wrong and going wrong...and I am very passive and easily walked on by others...figured I would be a lousy mom...now...after raising them and seeing them as adults starting their families...wouldn't trade it for nothing...through all the hardships , heartbreak and endless fear...then and now...the endless love we have for eachother is the most amazing feeling on earth...:smitten biggrin flowerforyou

no photo
Sat 03/07/15 01:04 PM

When I turned 18 I went to see my doctor...told him I wanted my tubes tied...he said no..said I was too young to do that and I might want kids someday...I never "wanted" to have kids...the three I have...all "oops" babies..after each was born I tried to get the doctor to tie the tubes...after the third he finally did...I didn't want to bring kids into a world that had so much wrong and going wrong...and I am very passive and easily walked on by others...figured I would be a lousy mom...now...after raising them and seeing them as adults starting their families...wouldn't trade it for nothing...through all the hardships , heartbreak and endless fear...then and now...the endless love we have for eachother is the most amazing feeling on earth...:smitten biggrin flowerforyou


Nice, this touched me

msharmony's photo
Sat 03/07/15 01:09 PM
Edited by msharmony on Sat 03/07/15 01:11 PM


no regret having them, I do sometimes regret who I had my daughter WITH though,,,, poor choice for a father,,,,

and all children, to me, deserve their mother and fathers love and foundation,,,,


I would never change anything about how my life has been affected by having a child. The mother has serious problems which keeps her from enjoying a full relationship with our child. I cannot regret her. This statement still sounds like regret.

I am challenged by this belief. I believe that your attitude towards the other parent affects how you view them.




I would want my daughter to have a father around,, I regret that she doesn't,,,,its not really my attitude towards him as I would feel the same way whoever was involved

I would regret if they chose not to be the father every child deserves,,,for my childs sake

for me, children aren't here for what they give 'us', they are here for us to give to them

she has been a beautiful blessing to me

but that's not the purpose of having them(in my opinion)

no photo
Sat 03/07/15 01:12 PM

When I turned 18 I went to see my doctor...told him I wanted my tubes tied...he said no..said I was too young to do that and I might want kids someday...I never "wanted" to have kids...the three I have...all "oops" babies..after each was born I tried to get the doctor to tie the tubes...after the third he finally did...I didn't want to bring kids into a world that had so much wrong and going wrong...and I am very passive and easily walked on by others...figured I would be a lousy mom...now...after raising them and seeing them as adults starting their families...wouldn't trade it for nothing...through all the hardships , heartbreak and endless fear...then and now...the endless love we have for eachother is the most amazing feeling on earth...:smitten biggrin flowerforyou


"the endless love we have for eachother is indeed the most amazing feeling on earth"... hi, (((kind))). flowerforyou flowerforyou

Have a beautiful day, awesome lady.

no photo
Sat 03/07/15 01:17 PM


So I currently stand at a crossroads. I am actually going to see a marriage counselor today(just me). Basically my wife wants kids and I don't. I am the rational not very emotional kind of person. My wife even accuses me of being cold sometimes which is probably true. She knows I don't realize I am coming across that way. Anyway, the main point is I was wondering if people have ever regretted their choice on children. Whether you decided to have them or not, did you later regret your choice and why.




YOU ARE LIKE MOST OF US GUYS---NOT IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS--WOMEN WHEN THEY FEEL

SOMETHING THEY FEEL IT ALL 0VER---US MEN PUT OUR FEELINGS IN DIFFERENT COMPARTMENTS---

LOOK THIS IS A DEAL BREAKER SHE HAS A TICKING BIOLOGICAL CLOCK---AS A PARENT MY SELF I LOVE

MY KIDS THERE WILL ALWAYS BE GOOD AND NOT SO GOOD TIMES WITH KIDS---THE MOST IMPORTANT

PART OF HAVING ISSUES IN A RELATIONSHIP IS ARE THE TWO OF YOU SENSITIVE TO EACH OTHERS

FEELINGS AND WILLING TO FIND A SOLUTION YOU BOTH CAN BE HAPPY ABOUT ???? THERE COMES A

TIME IN MOST RELATIONSHIPS WHEN EACH WANTS THE OTHER TO THINK AND BE LIKE THE OTHER---

YOUR NOT AND NEVER WILL BE THE SAME---THE POINT OF A RELATIONSHIP IS TO BRING TOGETHER

THE MISSING PARTS SO BOTH CAN GROW AND HEAL THERE LIFES WOUNDS AND STILL KEEP OUR

OTHERNESS---THERE IS ANOTHER CHOICE YOU COULD BE A LONELY OLD MAN---

Fact

CarolineR1966's photo
Sun 03/08/15 01:52 PM
I have three children, 25, 22 and 11. The first two were with my ex husband and then 11 years later I had my youngest, his father left when he was a month old. I don't regret any of my three children I love them all to pieces, I feel guilty that my youngest's father wants nothing to do with him. It is hard being both mum and dad to him. I can only d my best, we have an open and honest relationship and have and never would bad mouth his father.
I am now a grandmother and seeing my daughter being such a wonderful mother fills me with such pride and can't wait til her second arrives next month.
Children don't ask to be born, we can only do our best as we are not given an instruction manual when we are given our children.
If I hadn't had my children life would have been very different, emptier and quieter but i love my children unconditionally and would go through it all again.
But parenthood is not for everyone as my ex has proved, he wasn't ready to be a father and I accept that but he is missing out on a wonderful young man who didn't ask to be born and by rights deserves both parents in his life, but he knows it is nothing he has done.
People have to live with whatever decisions they make.

KAMBASSA's photo
Sun 03/08/15 04:11 PM
I am a single mom.and I love my 9 months old son 22 much

dreamerana's photo
Sun 03/08/15 04:37 PM
Edited by dreamerana on Sun 03/08/15 04:39 PM
my only regret in life is not having kids. I had hoped to be married and a mom by a certain age.
that didn't happen. I can still be a wife but won't be a mom.
I just spend time with my niece and nephews and share with them the love I have to give.

DadCat's photo
Sun 03/08/15 06:35 PM

I would regret if they chose not to be the father every child deserves,,,for my childs sake


I absolutely agree with you. I have to deal with the emotions my child displays and expresses about the absent mother.


for me, children aren't here for what they give 'us', they are here for us to give to them

she has been a beautiful blessing to me

but that's not the purpose of having them(in my opinion)


We have agreement here as well. I believe having children is an extension of the love we have for the other parent. When we find they are not capable of sustaining a relationship the child, we have to reassure our children is not about them. They are loved by both parents no matter what.

p.s. It's a pleasure we can have a discussion such as this without recrimination of opposing views.

msharmony's photo
Sun 03/08/15 06:43 PM
Yes. It is VERY nice. :smile:

no photo
Sun 03/08/15 07:04 PM
Edited by RebelArcher on Sun 03/08/15 07:05 PM
Regrets? Only one....and there really wasnt much I clda done to change it......
Im a retired fire/medic. In '05, I was working a 5p-5a shift on an ALS unit. Got a call to stage in another post.....the unit there had a run and we filled in.
Fifteen min after being staged at the new post, the unit at our last one made an MVA(Motor Vehicle Accident)......ended up with that unit running a Code 1 to the hospital with a 3 y/o pt. I twinged a little...like I always do with any pediatric call.....I had a 3 y/o daughter.
Anyway, abt an hour later, we got a call to meet our Supervisor at HQ......That earlier MVA innvolved my ex, her bf, and my daughter. She didnt make it.
Ive always wondered...."If"....if we wlda stayed at that post, maybe I clda done something to change the outcome. I cldnt have....I talked to the unit that made the call.....they did what they were supposed to do.... but still....
Dont get me wrong, Im not after any sympathy.....my story just fit the "regrets" part of this thread.
Hell......I have a real angel in Heaven now......and I damn sure didnt regret any moment with my daughter leading up to that point.

dreamerana's photo
Sun 03/08/15 07:10 PM

Regrets? Only one....and there really wasnt much I clda done to change it......
Im a retired fire/medic. In '05, I was working a 5p-5a shift on an ALS unit. Got a call to stage in another post.....the unit there had a run and we filled in.
Fifteen min after being staged at the new post, the unit at our last one made an MVA(Motor Vehicle Accident)......ended up with that unit running a Code 1 to the hospital with a 3 y/o pt. I twinged a little...like I always do with any pediatric call.....I had a 3 y/o daughter.
Anyway, abt an hour later, we got a call to meet our Supervisor at HQ......That earlier MVA innvolved my ex, her bf, and my daughter. She didnt make it.
Ive always wondered...."If"....if we wlda stayed at that post, maybe I clda done something to change the outcome. I cldnt have....I talked to the unit that made the call.....they did what they were supposed to do.... but still....
Dont get me wrong, Im not after any sympathy.....my story just fit the "regrets" part of this thread.
Hell......I have a real angel in Heaven now......and I damn sure didnt regret any moment with my daughter leading up to that point.


((((Rebel)))) flowerforyou

DadCat's photo
Sun 03/08/15 07:26 PM
Edited by DadCat on Sun 03/08/15 07:27 PM
You have my deepest understanding and empathy (((RebelArcher))) flowerforyou