Check out this hilarious email I got today.

Self Exam For Men... Am I Gay?

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat... 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handin out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or deni m, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitley on the verge of being a fudge packer.

Eh. I don't find that funny.

I hope I'm not the only one.

HAHA

hilarious

this coming from smilin bobs wife,,, lol

i know im not gay just ask goldenstar. lol

Ha, from the title of the article I thought it had to be gay. Then since a girl posted it I thought it might be ok to have a look. The whole thing made me laugh so you are definitely off the hook.

funny as hell

ROFLMAO

i know it's SUPPOSED to be funny...

but i didn't find it to BE so.

Hmmmm then there are a lot of men who are probably having and identity crisis. Sounds like someone is over compensating for something. If that is your definition of a real man I sure hope you don't find him because he will probably beat your butt on a regular basis. With such a bigoted mouth, I don't think a brain was in play, I hope you have a lot softer heart or I feel sorry for your kids.

i am very liberal in my humor and this was just very bigoted.

IT'S A JOKE PEOPLE, TRY NOT TO READ TO MUCH INTO IT. LIFE IS TO SHORT TO BE PSYCHOANALYZING EVERY LITTLE THING. JEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS

just in wrong forum

should have been in jokes

no one can please everyone

Naaaaaaaaa, it's funnier in Relationship Advise.