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Topic: What does it take to 'let go'
no photo
Fri 03/13/15 12:27 AM


OK - the relationship/marriage is over - all done, nothing more.

You are perfectly fine with the idea of never seeing them again.

But have you 'let go' - and how do you really know if you have ??

Can you let go of the person and still be ticked off severely that they lied or cheated or whatever it was that led to the end???

If you still have some kind of feeling at all, even just a little disappointment, are you officially NOT in the 'Let Go' or 'Moved On' ranks ????

HoneyFly's photo
Fri 03/13/15 01:01 AM
What does it take to 'let go'?


Forgive thyself

no photo
Fri 03/13/15 01:57 AM

What does it take to 'let go'?


Forgive thyself


I think you have wisdom Mr. Fly

happy

good idea

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 03/13/15 04:03 AM



OK - the relationship/marriage is over - all done, nothing more.

You are perfectly fine with the idea of never seeing them again.

But have you 'let go' - and how do you really know if you have ??

Can you let go of the person and still be ticked off severely that they lied or cheated or whatever it was that led to the end???

If you still have some kind of feeling at all, even just a little disappointment, are you officially NOT in the 'Let Go' or 'Moved On' ranks ????

I've wondered about that myself as well.
I can feel there are no more ties between me and my ex, all energetic cords have gone. But I also now some things are still tender. That's stuff I have to work out myself, in a way has nothing to do with him anymore.
Kind of like having a wound that healed and left a scar. You've healed, the trauma of injury has gone, you're whole again, but you're not really used to having the scar yet.

no photo
Fri 03/13/15 05:39 AM



OK - the relationship/marriage is over - all done, nothing more.

You are perfectly fine with the idea of never seeing them again.

But have you 'let go' - and how do you really know if you have ??

Can you let go of the person and still be ticked off severely that they lied or cheated or whatever it was that led to the end???

If you still have some kind of feeling at all, even just a little disappointment, are you officially NOT in the 'Let Go' or 'Moved On' ranks ????


bwahahaha, to be able to forgive...does not mean that I forget.

I just don't wish him dead everyday anymore. Only once every 6 months. laugh slaphead

Kaustuv1's photo
Fri 03/13/15 05:40 AM
'Less Of Wisdom' And 'More Of Courage'flowerforyou

MelMaxx's photo
Fri 03/13/15 08:11 AM
I just now experienced something with this and came to the forums to spout/rant/read about it and came across this topic first.
I think I'm "over" him, but then I see a pic and profile of him on the site. I don't "think" about him or us a lot anymore...I AM moving forward, but when you see a current pic of him AND he looks very nice and in new clothes, it made me cry and hurt. frustrated
I HATE that this makes me feel this way...hurt, angry, crying rant rant frustrated mad frustrated frustrated

I guess I'm NOT "over" him yet.sad

no1phD's photo
Fri 03/13/15 08:54 AM
sure just as soon..
.... as she remarries... and no longer has her hand in my pocket...lol.. and not in a good way..lol..no.. my ex and I.. will always have a relationship..
.... she is the mother of my children you can't let go that.... it is just life.
... you spend a lot of time with somebody you eventually grew apart..
.... it's nothing to get upset about..
.. I wish her all the happiness..
... now if I could just keep her out of my pocket...lol

no photo
Fri 03/13/15 08:58 AM
Time...when you get to that point where you see him or his name comes up and you just go...meh...

MelMaxx's photo
Fri 03/13/15 09:10 AM
Yes, Happiness2U...I thought I was there. I WAS, at least with seeing his name come up in conversations, texts. But to see him (looking very nice and well) on a dating site "looking" for someone else, it just hit and HURT. This feeling is NOT FUN of course!

no1phD's photo
Fri 03/13/15 09:12 AM
you are both on the same dating site talk about ((awkward))..flowerforyou

no photo
Fri 03/13/15 09:13 AM

Yes, Happiness2U...I thought I was there. I WAS, at least with seeing his name come up in conversations, texts. But to see him (looking very nice and well) on a dating site "looking" for someone else, it just hit and HURT. This feeling is NOT FUN of course!


(((MelMaxx)))

More time sweetie...more time... flowerforyou

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 03/13/15 09:14 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Fri 03/13/15 09:16 AM

sure just as soon..
.... as she remarries... and no longer has her hand in my pocket...lol.. and not in a good way..lol..no.. my ex and I.. will always have a relationship..
.... she is the mother of my children you can't let go that.... it is just life.
... you spend a lot of time with somebody you eventually grew apart..
.... it's nothing to get upset about..
.. I wish her all the happiness..
... now if I could just keep her out of my pocket...lol

Don't get how she still has her hand in your pocket, apart from alimony for the kids. But yeah.. the relationship with the other parent will diminish as your kids get older. That's what's happened with me and my ex anyways. Our kids being 24 and 21, there's hardly ever need for us to get in touch anymore. Been that way for some years now. Fine with me. We've been apart for some 15 years now, so whatever connection we used to have, even in the first few years after our divorce, has faded. Simply gone.
Think that's how it goes for most.
.
.

no1phD's photo
Fri 03/13/15 09:20 AM
you mean a part for the mortgage payment and the upkeep on vehicles..
... and the landscaper I paid to cut the grass and shovel the sidewalks in the winter..... I've always paid the bills and I will always pay the bills....
.. at least until somebody else wants to start paying the bills..lol

no photo
Fri 03/13/15 09:21 AM

you mean a part for the mortgage payment and the upkeep on vehicles..
... and the landscaper I paid to cut the grass and shovel the sidewalks in the winter..... I've always paid the bills and I will always pay the bills....
.. at least until somebody else wants to start paying the bills..lol


That is NOT divorced. You still pay the bills because YOU ARE STILL MARRIED.....derp. Get it over with.

no photo
Fri 03/13/15 09:24 AM

you mean a part for the mortgage payment and the upkeep on vehicles..
... and the landscaper I paid to cut the grass and shovel the sidewalks in the winter..... I've always paid the bills and I will always pay the bills....
.. at least until somebody else wants to start paying the bills..lol


Geez...I wish I divorced you...:tongue: laugh


SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 03/13/15 09:26 AM


you mean a part for the mortgage payment and the upkeep on vehicles..
... and the landscaper I paid to cut the grass and shovel the sidewalks in the winter..... I've always paid the bills and I will always pay the bills....
.. at least until somebody else wants to start paying the bills..lol


Geez...I wish I divorced you...:tongue: laugh



Me too! Although... not sure if I would've.. if he'd keep me happy in bed that is, lol
And he's tall!!! drool Who in their right mind would dump a tall man? Dang, my hormones are off again!

Rock's photo
Fri 03/13/15 09:27 AM
Laughter.



no1phD's photo
Fri 03/13/15 09:28 AM
not going into detail..
... it has nothing to do with being divorced or not... when we first married we had very little of anything... She sacrificed a lot..
. to help me get my business up and running.... now business is good..
.... I'm just keeping a promise I made.
.. a promise to take care of her.. for richer or poorer...ok... that is it that is all..


no photo
Fri 03/13/15 09:30 AM
Edited by tealbreeze on Fri 03/13/15 09:34 AM

not going into detail..
... it has nothing to do with being divorced or not... when we first married we had very little of anything... She sacrificed a lot..
. to help me get my business up and running.... now business is good..
.... I'm just keeping a promise I made.
.. a promise to take care of her.. for richer or poorer...ok... that is it that is all..




Yes, having her hand in your pocket that does not include alimony HAS EVERYTHING to do with YOU STILL PAYING HER BILLS and being STILL MARRIED.

Works that way DURING a lot of divorces. Once divorced, that ends.

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