100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
| Topic: I Will Survive | |
|---|---|
|
Edited by
uk1971
on
Fri 04/24/15 10:53 AM
|
|
At first I was afraid,
I was petrified, When you said you had 10 inches Lord, I almost died. But I'd spent oh�� so many nights just waiting for a man that was so long, That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . . But there you are, Another lie! I was ready for a Big Mac and you'��ve just brought me a French fry. I should have known it was so small, Just a sad pathetic dream, Cause there was no Anaconda lurking in those faded jeans. Go on now go, Walk out the door, Don'��t you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4. Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn'��t notice it pop out. Don't you know we'��re only joking when we say size doesn'��t count? I will survive, I will survive, Cuz as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive, I will always have good sex with a handful of latex. I will survive, I will survive. . hey, hey! It took all my self control not to really laugh out loud, When I saw your little wiener standing small and red and proud. But too bad about your ego and to Hell with all your needs! Now I'��m saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed Go on now go, Don't ever call. Last time I saw a d!ck that tiny It was on a baby doll. I should have asked for confirmation, Should have asked for pictures, please! Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winkie thing at me. Go on now go, Just hit the track, Don'��t you bring me home no little worm, I'll always throw the crap things back. The only thing that I could do with a d!ck as small as that, Is to stick it with a tooth pick And then feed it to the cat! I will survive, I will survive, Coz as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive, I will always have good sex with a handful of latex. I will survive, I will survive. .hey, hey! Go on now go, Just leave my sight,. I'��m going back to my appliance, Cuz I know its length is right, And if I ever see your tiny pecker peckin' at my door, You'll be counting your 4 inches as you pick them off the floor. Go on now Go!......... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Did you write that? Way to throw your fellow men under the bus.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
By the ugly wanker that was lying by my side. I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head, If I'd known for just one second I'd be in your crusty bed. I tried to go, walk out the door. But I laughed so hard at your small knob that I've fallen on the floor. Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace, But I'd rather look at that, than at your f*cking ugly face! I want to go, I've got to leave. Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to heave. I only know I've got to stop drinking spirits and to stop the beer, Coz when I looked at you last night, you looked just like that Richard Gere! I can't believe, that we both shagged. You should be wearing concrete shoes or simply bound and gagged. I'm taking off right now, I'm jumping on the flippin' train and I'm not stopping till I'm home and washed your greeblies down the drain. Please let me go, I feel quite sick, We had the worst sex in the world and you're an ugly prick, I should have shagged your gorgeous mate, at least he's got a lovely flat. But no, I go and trust the booze and now I'm stuck with you, you twat. It's time to go, run out the door. You look so ugly it should really be against the law. I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going to have no stupid fun, Coz waking up beside your mug, Just makes me want to be a nun. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Im so happy i opened this thread 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have to give +1 to each of you for the wit and amusement factor of making these spoofs.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
SassyEuro
on
Fri 04/24/15 05:02 PM
|
|
At first I was afraid, I was petrified, When you said you had 10 inches Lord, I almost died. But I'd spent oh�� so many nights just waiting for a man that was so long, That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . . But there you are, Another lie! I was ready for a Big Mac and you'��ve just brought me a French fry. I should have known it was so small, Just a sad pathetic dream, Cause there was no Anaconda lurking in those faded jeans. Go on now go, Walk out the door, Don'��t you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4. Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn'��t notice it pop out. Don't you know we'��re only joking when we say size doesn'��t count? I will survive, I will survive, Cuz as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive, I will always have good sex with a handful of latex. I will survive, I will survive. . hey, hey! It took all my self control not to really laugh out loud, When I saw your little wiener standing small and red and proud. But too bad about your ego and to Hell with all your needs! Now I'��m saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed Go on now go, Don't ever call. Last time I saw a d!ck that tiny It was on a baby doll. I should have asked for confirmation, Should have asked for pictures, please! Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winkie thing at me. Go on now go, Just hit the track, Don'��t you bring me home no little worm, I'll always throw the crap things back. The only thing that I could do with a d!ck as small as that, Is to stick it with a tooth pick And then feed it to the cat! I will survive, I will survive, Coz as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive, I will always have good sex with a handful of latex. I will survive, I will survive. .hey, hey! Go on now go, Just leave my sight,. I'��m going back to my appliance, Cuz I know its length is right, And if I ever see your tiny pecker peckin' at my door, You'll be counting your 4 inches as you pick them off the floor. Go on now Go!......... American artist, Gloria Gaynor. Song was first performed in October, 1978- Live Love it, it was " A woman's anthem' back then.  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
At first I was afraid, I was petrified. By the ugly wanker that was lying by my side. I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head, If I'd known for just one second I'd be in your crusty bed. I tried to go, walk out the door. But I laughed so hard at your small knob that I've fallen on the floor. Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace, But I'd rather look at that, than at your f*cking ugly face! I want to go, I've got to leave. Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to heave. I only know I've got to stop drinking spirits and to stop the beer, Coz when I looked at you last night, you looked just like that Richard Gere! I can't believe, that we both shagged. You should be wearing concrete shoes or simply bound and gagged. I'm taking off right now, I'm jumping on the flippin' train and I'm not stopping till I'm home and washed your greeblies down the drain. Please let me go, I feel quite sick, We had the worst sex in the world and you're an ugly prick, I should have shagged your gorgeous mate, at least he's got a lovely flat. But no, I go and trust the booze and now I'm stuck with you, you twat. It's time to go, run out the door. You look so ugly it should really be against the law. I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going to have no stupid fun, Coz waking up beside your mug, Just makes me want to be a nun. Oh My God...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bravo to both of you creative critters. Those were superb. My tummy hurts from laughing and I still can't stop. Too cool.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
WonderWoman48
on
Sat 04/25/15 08:15 AM
|
|
Male Version:
At first I was afraid, I was petrified, When you said you had 42 double D's, Lord I almost died! But I'd spent oh so many years just waiting for a woman that wide, That I grew strong inside, and knew that I could take you on .... But there you are, another lie, I was ready for your meat balloons and you've brought me a pair of lies! I should have known that it was bull****, just a sad pathetic dream, Should have known that you wore padding to improve your pancakes with peas! Go on, now go! Walk out the door, Don't you promise me huge breasts, and then turn up as flat as the floor! Weren't you a fool to think I wouldn't find you out? Don't you know we're only joking when we say that size don't count? I will survive! I will survive! 'Coz as long at I have electricity, my sex life's gonna thrive, I will always have great sex, with a doll made of latex! I will survive! I will survive! Hey, hey..... It took all my self control not to laugh out loud, When I saw the tissues falling to the ground, But to hell with all your egos, and to hell with all your needs, Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a doll with multi-speeds! I will survive! I will survive! 'Coz as long at I have electricity, my sex life's gonna thrive, I will always have great sex, with a doll made of latex! I will survive! I will survive! Hey, hey 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This message is coming in quite handy. Been posting this everywhere.
This is a special public service announcement to all Minglers:  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Really it was only 2. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thank you both I needed this laugh tonight...
OMG... the sad thing is I think there are people out there like this... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Female Version:
Three more verses. Go on now go... you'd better flee Last time I saw a prick that small was on my brother... he was 3 I should have asked for confirmation, should have asked for referees Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me Go on now go... just hit the track Don't you bring me home no tiddlers 'cos I'll alway's throw them back The only thing that i could do with a prick as small as yours Is to stick it with a tooth-pick, dip it in tomato sauce Go now go... get out of my sight I'm going back to my appliance 'cos I know its length is right And if I ever see your tiny truncheon standing at my door You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
WonderWoman48
on
Thu 05/07/15 10:14 AM
|
|
At first I was afraid, I was petrified. By the ugly wanker that was lying by my side. I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head, If I'd known for just one second I'd be in your crusty bed. I tried to go, walk out the door. But I laughed so hard at your small knob that I've fallen on the floor. Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace, But I'd rather look at that, than at your f*cking ugly face! I want to go, I've got to leave. Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to heave. I only know I've got to stop drinking spirits and to stop the beer, Coz when I looked at you last night, you looked just like that Richard Gere! I can't believe, that we both shagged. You should be wearing concrete shoes or simply bound and gagged. I'm taking off right now, I'm jumping on the flippin' train and I'm not stopping till I'm home and washed your greeblies down the drain. Please let me go, I feel quite sick, We had the worst sex in the world and you're an ugly prick, I should have shagged your gorgeous mate, at least he's got a lovely flat. But no, I go and trust the booze and now I'm stuck with you, you twat. It's time to go, run out the door. You look so ugly it should really be against the law. I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going to have no stupid fun, Coz waking up beside your mug, Just makes me want to be a nun. 
|
|
|
|
|
