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Topic: is it good for A lady to v sleep in the house of his fiance
jumoga's photo
Thu 06/11/15 06:27 AM
Dont know the answer.someone help me out

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 06:38 AM
NO , unless they are already have 'safe & protected sex ', against disease & pregnancy.
NO , if it against the spiritually or morality or culture.
NO , unless she is of legal age , & he (they) can afford to marry her (each other) , and have their own home & (possible) children & provide. And marry SOON.


Hope this helps.

TxsGal3333's photo
Thu 06/11/15 06:49 AM
As long as it does not infer with your beliefs or his then there is no problem with it.. If it is your fiance then I would assume you have already had sex.. If not and you don't believe in sex before marriage then no it would not right....

Always do what feels right for you...

makenwallo's photo
Thu 06/11/15 07:00 AM
no problem if u like to have sex before marriage

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 07:07 AM
Edited by Leigh2154 on Thu 06/11/15 07:09 AM

As long as it does not infer with your beliefs or his then there is no problem with it.. If it is your fiance then I would assume you have already had sex.. If not and you don't believe in sex before marriage then no it would not right....

Always do what feels right for you...


Her sleeping in his house does not necessarily mean they will be having or have had sex...Self control is a real thing :-)...Maybe extenuating circumstances demand she stay with him or someone for the time being...The OP really didn't give enough, MAKE THAT ANY, details... So I say maybe, maybe not....

@ Jumoga...Always doing what feels right is not always what IS right...Don't do something that ultimately may not be in your or his best interest...:wink:

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 06/11/15 07:35 AM
Edited by PacificStar48 on Thu 06/11/15 07:40 AM
No it is not ok to live with your fianc� before a marriage.

Virtue and values are meaningless when in the short term you compromise them for convenience or passion or poverty. You have sold out with only a "promise" that no one has to respect.

You can't ALMOST be honest or chaste or faithful to someone. Anymore than you can only be a little bit pregnant. Either you are or you are not. Depending on the culture that can have VERY serious consequences. If you are not married the child has no protection; no name, no rights. Even if you petition the courts you may or may not get the answer you want. They are nortorious for punishing women of compromised virtue way more than men.

Just because you "feel" committed to someone does not mean you are. Or they are to you. True the heart does sometimes commit but the heart is not the body or the mind or the wallet. It takes and action and a confirmation. A promise not only to the spouse but to God, and the family; and community.

People think marriage ceremony is just about them it is about the world stepping back and recognizing them as one. With all the privileges AND responsibilities that go with that. It IS about the family saying ok we accept that you and your spouse are the core now; not us. Many families mess this up and still try to have their cake and eat it too but when you marry you leave one family AND CREATE ANOTHER.

Playing at it before marriage is just that. It is a false intimacy. You wake up with someone , eat with them, clean yourself, share space, see each other in the home even if you do not have sex you are "trying on " the mantel of marriage and you are not married then you are making yourself a "guest", servant, or a concubine for however it lasts. Even if it is not true it looks that way and sometimes how things look does matter.

You might think that means little to the person you want to partner but it still remains in their mind that you were willing to compromise yourself on the short term and you loose that degree of respect.

It also tells their family the same thing. It also tells your future children the same thing. And believe me someone will tell them. AND THEY WILL BE HURT/SHAMED BY THE KNOWLEDGE. You shame more than your self. It tells your parents especially that even though they taught you one value, protected you, and provided for you under one standard, you for whatever reason throw that out like yesterdays garbage and do as you please. It tells your family that you would rather live with someone who disrespects you than them.

There is a reason that marriages have a time they start and are recorded.

Mostly it is to protect the participants; especially women. And to some degree men. What if a woman decides she is pregnant and wants to leave; his parental rights will always be in question. When you play before marriage those protections do not exist.

What if you find out your spouse is cheating just a little bit on other promises he made you? Maybe he has a disease, debt, or prior commitment? Do you know what he is going to do once he gets you behind closed doors? Then you are in the middle of a mess with no protection.

And for what a few days, weeks or months? A few pennies that you could do with out? That will not matter in the course of a life time. Certainly a whole lot less than the broken promises of shacking up. And you can put all kinds of fancy ribbons of love and romance around it that is still what it is.

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/11/15 07:41 AM
These kind threads make me shake my head..what are you gonna take.a running tally and base your decision on it? Validation for choice you have already made your mind up to do? In this day and age just look around you
Cohabitation is happening to left and right and quite few or not married or engaged

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/11/15 07:44 AM
You can do it
many do
but ...what happens if ya just end up living together and don't get married? You ok with that?
What happens if you get pregnant?
What happens if ya get in huge fight and break up two years from now?

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/11/15 08:01 AM
I will tell.ya about some young couples I know:
Couple 1 moved in together,two years later he gave her promise ring and said someday honey,two years later an engagement ring and a someday but not yet dear..after the eighth year she began to.suspect she would never walk.down aisle

couple2 met at a high school.backwoods bonfire party and hooked up and had good time together til she got pregnant.He dropped out senior year and got factory job and they moved into trailor with understanding that someday when times were not so.tight after baby comes they would wed. Three years and two kids later he goes.out.drinking with buddies and goes home with waitress,she finds out and he says he never loved her anyways and they break up

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 08:23 AM

Dont know the answer.someone help me out


Yes, go ahead.. no problem. If needed I can send you a authorization card.

Just show it in case anyone asks.

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 08:26 AM
For the times they are a changing.

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 08:28 AM

For the times they are a changing.



Indeed....And some we like and some we don't like...


waving Howdy Mr. Bricky... :-))

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 08:37 AM


For the times they are a changing.



Indeed....And some we like and some we don't like...


waving Howdy Mr. Bricky... :-))

Howdy Leigh, hope all is well across the lake.

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 08:42 AM
Maybe I'm missing the point. But isn't this really about having sex before marriage. fianc� or not.

Is there really anyone on this thread who didn't??

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 08:46 AM

Maybe I'm missing the point. But isn't this really about having sex before marriage. fianc� or not.

Is there really anyone on this thread who didn't??


You're probably not missing the point, but who can be sure?...She said sleep in his house, not in his bed...Where the heck is SHE anyway?whoa

NorthernKind's photo
Thu 06/11/15 08:59 AM
You only truly know someone after you have lived with them. Why marry someone you don't know? Sure. you might know 80-90% of the person, but living together sheds light on what you don't know, and what you don't know could make or break the deal.

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/11/15 09:18 AM
Young couple3 oldest son's best friend since fourth grade starts dating /sleeping with a chick when he was 19 and knocks her up so they move in together and try do mommy daddy and baby thing.After 6months he bails out and takes off downstate. He is down there for about a year working then comes home stays with his dad for awhile meets new girl and moves in with her and tadah! baby number two.This time he lasts a year before taking off again

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 09:25 AM

Young couple3 oldest son's best friend since fourth grade starts dating /sleeping with a chick when he was 19 and knocks her up so they move in together and try do mommy daddy and baby thing.After 6months he bails out and takes off downstate. He is down there for about a year working then comes home stays with his dad for awhile meets new girl and moves in with her and tadah! baby number two.This time he lasts a year before taking off again


Hey Tex, I bet for every unsuccessful example you cite someone, somewhere can match it with a successful one..Of course I can't be 100% sure, but it's a bet I would not hesitate to take...:tongue:

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/11/15 09:29 AM
Edited by TMommy on Thu 06/11/15 09:32 AM
Successful meaning what?they lived together for awhile and got married or lived together for awhile and went seperate ways?

tex odd thing to address me by considering fact that I am neither male nor from state of Texaswhoa

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 09:33 AM
is it good for A lady to v sleep in the house of his fiance

Not if she's worried about it and whether or not it makes her "good."





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