Topic: is it good for A lady to v sleep in the house of his fiance
no photo
Thu 06/11/15 09:41 AM

Successful meaning what?they lived together for awhile and got married or lived together for awhile and went seperate ways?

tex odd thing to address me by considering fact that I am neither male nor from state of Texaswhoa


Almost,,,,But more like lived together, got married, established themselves, started a family, remained together happily ever after...It does happen...

Sorry about that!flowerforyou ..Haven't been to your profile yet and don't follow you in the forums...Maybe it was the hat?blushing

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/11/15 09:42 AM
Take morality question off table
living together in state cohabitation can place young woman in a precarious position if things go badly

now there are also great number of older adults who are past point of having kids or already have them and are divorced that chose this route so as not to end up standing in front of judge again

regularfeller's photo
Thu 06/11/15 09:44 AM
bigsmile

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 09:51 AM
Edited by Leigh2154 on Thu 06/11/15 09:51 AM

Take morality question off table
living together in state cohabitation can place young woman in a precarious position if things go badly

now there are also great number of older adults who are past point of having kids or already have them and are divorced that chose this route so as not to end up standing in front of judge again


Don't forget about social security...Some of us get punished financially if we marry, so we choose to live together instead...And the morality issue was never on the table for me when I answered OP's question...I don't think shacking up is necessarily a determination of ones morality...

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/11/15 09:53 AM
Oh and darling?I.don't make habit of.perving women's profiles so have not bothered to read yours and have occasionally seen a post of yours in forums but am capable of looking at your present AV showing and read your profile name
:thumbsup: bigsmile

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 09:57 AM
Why not? Some couples do it, without the pressure of marriage. Religion may play a part. I can understand why some people like to test the waters before they get married. After all, if you both marry, but then find out you're both sexually incompatible, it's not going to bode well, in the long-term. I would be kicking myself, if I married my lover, only to find we weren't such a good match.

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 09:58 AM

Oh and darling?I.don't make habit of.perving women's profiles so have not bothered to read yours and have occasionally seen a post of yours in forums but am capable of looking at your present AV showing and read your profile name
:thumbsup: bigsmile


I'm confused, but if you have a problem with me darlin use my in box....I told you it was probably the hat..Would calling it a senior moment work better for you?...laugh

regularfeller's photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:10 AM

Why not? Some couples do it, without the pressure of marriage. Religion may play a part. I can understand why some people like to test the waters before they get married. After all, if you both marry, but then find out you're both sexually incompatible, it's not going to bode well, in the long-term. I would be kicking myself, if I married my lover, only to find we weren't such a good match.



shades Psssst....from what I gather from religious tales, god never did marry the mother of his son, so I reckon it is alright if we humans shack up a while....


I was never here....scared


regularfeller's photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:12 AM


Oh and darling?I.don't make habit of.perving women's profiles so have not bothered to read yours and have occasionally seen a post of yours in forums but am capable of looking at your present AV showing and read your profile name
:thumbsup: bigsmile


I'm confused, but if you have a problem with me darlin use my in box....I told you it was probably the hat..Would calling it a senior moment work better for you?...laugh


Ladies, ladies! This lil cat spat is getting me a bit excited. bigsmile

KEEP GOING!!!!

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:14 AM


Why not? Some couples do it, without the pressure of marriage. Religion may play a part. I can understand why some people like to test the waters before they get married. After all, if you both marry, but then find out you're both sexually incompatible, it's not going to bode well, in the long-term. I would be kicking myself, if I married my lover, only to find we weren't such a good match.



shades Psssst....from what I gather from religious tales, god never did marry the mother of his son, so I reckon it is alright if we humans shack up a while....


I was never here....scared




Agree!:thumbsup:

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:18 AM
Disagree
Joseph married Mary with whom he was already betrothed to
Without shacking up first but to each his/her own happy :thumbsup:

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:31 AM
Who cares?! To each their own. Personally, I feel it's better to cohabitate before marriage. Knowing is beneficial before marriage in a lot of cases.

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:34 AM

You only truly know someone after you have lived with them. Why marry someone you don't know? Sure. you might know 80-90% of the person, but living together sheds light on what you don't know, and what you don't know could make or break the deal.


That is very true but what if it does break the deal? Then both have no protection how things fall out. One or the other can end up in the street or unduly burdened with debts they can't support alone.

At least with a divorce filing; usually assets are frozen and divided equitably by a neutral family court.

And it is not always the man who gets screwed. I have seen guys come home to the bare walls and holes kicked in them by a girlfriend an her current Love-a-Ho. A few months later if the are kids the police are dragging him to jail to pay child support. Not long after that the bill collectors are towing his only collectible asset or putting a lean on his license, business, or home.

Generally speaking people who do not play by societal rules don't play nice. Sure there are a few exceptions and occasionally everyone walks away from and oops with only bruised egos but that is very rare.

regularfeller's photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:36 AM
hmmmm...adultery then? Coveting another's wife? (joseph wasn't god...was he?)

I am not using this as a ploy to dispute your view on the subject. I believe you raise some very valid points. Such as where it leaves a woman when a man boots her out. Similar to my advising people to not lend money to people who aren't their spouses. You are taking a chance without all those little protections offered by family law. Of course it is a long and drawn out process.

Neither view changes my view that marriage is a human construct.

I never married a cow but if I owned a herd I would be involved in husbandry. With cows. All of them. At the same time. ohwell


flowerforyou

Annierooroo's photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:51 AM
There is a saying on facebook that says if you don't want to marry her, don't make her a mama.
Tmommy had shown good examples. I was one of those examples. The guy left and I was left with the baby. I do want to add he played a very important role in her life and was always there.
Then I refuse to sleep with anyone until marriage for religious beliefs as well as I didn't want to have another kid on my own.
I married 2kids,divorce 17yrs later. Back to square 1 again with 3 kids.
Its not easy being a single parent doing both jobs being both mum and dad.
Ask yourself this do you want to raise your child on your own?
Why not wait for your wedding night?
What is the most precious gift can you give to your husband /wife on your wedding night?

My advice don't hand yourself over to quickly. There's only a first time once make that moment that count.
I must admit there are alot of single dads too and they are also doing a great job.
I hope this along with other threads have given you something to think about.


SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:52 AM
Maybe I got it wrong, but isn't she asking about sleeping in the house of her fiance? Not about living together?

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:54 AM

Maybe I got it wrong, but isn't she asking about sleeping in the house of her fiance? Not about living together?


You got it the same way I did....SHe said sleeping in the house, not in his bed...So IDK...Maybe she will come back and elaborate...

regularfeller's photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:56 AM

Maybe I got it wrong, but isn't she asking about sleeping in the house of her fiance? Not about living together?


No, but premarital sex and shacking up must be discussed! You know how these things go!

:laughing:

no photo
Thu 06/11/15 10:57 AM


Maybe I got it wrong, but isn't she asking about sleeping in the house of her fiance? Not about living together?


No, but premarital sex and shacking up must be discussed! You know how these things go!

:laughing:


rofl rofl

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 06/11/15 11:02 AM

Maybe I got it wrong, but isn't she asking about sleeping in the house of her fiance? Not about living together?


But in some societies, especially a very conservative society like where she is from, it has the same implication.

And if someone wants to make and issue of it then the consequences can be VERY severe.

What people sometimes look the other way on in other countries does NOT mean that is universal. And given her countries very difficult economy, travel restrictions, and highly limited education that is not offered with out religious approval she could be doing herself LASTING harm or even endangering her safety. If she alienates her and or his family she could find herself in a gutter somewhere with no skills but ones she would not want to use to survive.