can anyone tell me how to forgive, not steal time/identity/resources, and not demand "interest" on love given? plus not lie, not envy ?

It sounds like the first thing you need to do is get in check with yourself. I think you have to really like yourself before you can expect to feel comfortable in any type of a relationship.
Why would you envy anyone else? You should be happy with who and what you are. Be happy that you wake up every single day. I think it takes a real crisis for people to realize that life is short. Trust me, if you had something really horrible to face, you wouldn't envy anyone...you would be really happy with you!
Why lie...it catches up to you. You just have to keep lying to make up for the last lie. Be honest and if they don't like the person you are, then they are not the one for you. You will find the right one sooner or later. Just be patient, sometimes when we stop looking...thats when it finds us!!
Good luck and just be you..I am sure you are an amazing person

the first thing I had to 'get' about learning to forgive is this:

hurt people hurt people.

you have been hurt by someone who has also been hurt by another who has also been hurt...and that beat goes on and on.

people behave based on what they know, what they have seen, been taught. the one who hurt you only knows how to act based on the
hurt they received.

like the girl who grew up watching her dad beat up her mom. after years of watching, in the minds eye that becomes normal. so her boyfriend is going to be a guy who beats her up, because that is her emotional frame of reference.

so you have to ask yourself if this is just an evil person who gets a kick out of hurting other-or is this coming from someone who has been hurt and never learned a healthy example of how to treat people.

but it goes both ways...be honest about your role in the whole situation-it takes 2. People can only abuse you if you allow it.

in Matthew 18:21 &22 says to forgive 70 times 7.

One of the last things Christ did as he hung dying on the cross, was to forgive the ones who put him there.

if you have to remind yourself each morning you wake up, that you
have forgiven soandso, then that's what you have to do. eventually
if you are sincere, it becomes more and more real, and you won't have to do that every morning when you wake up.

When I was doing my moral inventory which is based on assets and liabilities the first time I could remember many liabilities but could not think of any assets. My councelor told me to remember that I was sober that day. When I had trouble forgiving myself he asked me if I forgive someone like me. I said sure I could forgive someone like me because I could know where they have been because I had been there myself. He said that was why he was there because he could relate with what I had been through. He told me that it easy to judge and find fault with others but the hard thing to do was to forgive others unless we can forgive ourselves. I found that the way to stop envying him was to become just like him. I found many who had the same problem as me and it caused me to be less unique. The less unique I became the more I could relate. He told me the less I lied to myself the less I would lie to others. He helped me to love myself so I could love others by showing that he too had made mistakes and that he had went through the same process. It was the beginning of learning how to give something away so that I could keep it. It was a spiritual growth which was different than seeking a spiritual perfection. Spiritual growth is an ongoing thing.

Unsure is right. In a sense, you need to learn to tell the truth, most of the time, and only exaggerate when necessary.
It's both encesary and important to be honest, truthful and reliable- not only in relationships and with family and friends, but at work, too. Actually, in most everything. Read some self help books, and study them. Also really concentrate mentally, on follwing the advice in the book. Learning takes time and patience. You can do it, you just have to allow yourself to think so.

thanks for taking the time to reply peopel thanks.