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| Topic: ending disagreements | |
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OK guys you get into a disagreement with your lady, you feel its getting a little bit out of hand. how do u cool it down? diffuse it?? and not get walked all over.
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OK guys you get into a disagreement with your lady, you feel its getting a little bit out of hand. how do u cool it down? diffuse it?? and not get walked all over. Tell her she looks cute when she's angry :) Sometimes it works for me. Apologizing works pretty good or clarifying :) |
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OK guys you get into a disagreement with your lady, you feel its getting a little bit out of hand. how do u cool it down? diffuse it?? and not get walked all over. I don't think this is gender bias.. I know for Pancho and I both..We are pretty much the same way. One of us will ask for a time out to think it over and calm down... Neither one of us wants to walk on the other one and we respect each other. So we take the time to calm down and put ourselves in each others shoes which enables us to discuss it. Yes there are times we flat out are not going to agree so in that case we agree to disagree. |
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Give her a few kisses in various places. It must work since we've never had a disagreement get "out of hand."
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how do u cool it down? diffuse it?? and not get walked all over. I don't without identifying the problem first. It depends on the situation, the argument, who she is, and why she's mad. If you want a universal answer then I'll say I close and lock the basement door and say "good night Ms. Fritzl." |
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I have learnt to close my mouth and wait for them to finish then gently have my say and walk away to think of what was said without getting angry.
A big improvement from years ago. |
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I was married to someone for twenty years, who was eventually officially diagnosed to be bipolar.
Arguments got "out of hand" extremely often. Nothing worked to calm them down when they were due to entirely irrational bouts of mania. I tried calm reason, patient silence, shouting back. Even postponing things until later, though when she was in mania mode, she never agreed to anything. Being walked on doesn't happen from the argument, even from "losing" it. It happens AFTER the argument, when you decide to try to "buy" the other person's silence by becoming a carpet. The thing to do, is to realize that each "discussion" is just that. Unless you sign legal documents at the end, you can renew the discussion later, and make adjustments to what each person has said. This realization should help YOU to calm down, and do whatever is necessary to allow HER to calm down. |
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That's why I steer clear of mentally ill people. It takes a lot of understanding and patience to deal with them, understanding and patience which I would rather put into dealing with mentally healthy people. Sick people drain the healthy ones. Not for me.
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I usually just burn the house down lol
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I was married to someone for twenty years, who was eventually officially diagnosed to be bipolar. Arguments got "out of hand" extremely often. Nothing worked to calm them down when they were due to entirely irrational bouts of mania. I tried calm reason, patient silence, shouting back. Even postponing things until later, though when she was in mania mode, she never agreed to anything. Being walked on doesn't happen from the argument, even from "losing" it. It happens AFTER the argument, when you decide to try to "buy" the other person's silence by becoming a carpet. The thing to do, is to realize that each "discussion" is just that. Unless you sign legal documents at the end, you can renew the discussion later, and make adjustments to what each person has said. This realization should help YOU to calm down, and do whatever is necessary to allow HER to calm down. Yes I was married to someone like that too. |
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Gets them focusing on some other issue.. they pretty much forget all about the argument..
   
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I did one step better JK moved on and left him there.
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That's why I steer clear of mentally ill people. It takes a lot of understanding and patience to deal with them, understanding and patience which I would rather put into dealing with mentally healthy people. Sick people drain the healthy ones. Not for me. I truly believe you are starting to fall in love with me. :) |
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That's why I steer clear of mentally ill people. It takes a lot of understanding and patience to deal with them, understanding and patience which I would rather put into dealing with mentally healthy people. Sick people drain the healthy ones. Not for me. I truly believe you are starting to fall in love with me. :) Or is that the other way around? *raises my eyebrow at you* |
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I usually just burn the house down lol UMMM I think there has to be better ways my friend ON a very serious note.. I have been a relationship where there was no agreeing it was his way or no way.. I removed myself after a while... Hmmm mental illness can be masked by people thinking that their needs are more important than any others. I frankly find people needing the spotlight always on them to be mentally ill IMHO |
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I usually just burn the house down lol UMMM I think there has to be better ways my friend ON a very serious note.. I have been a relationship where there was no agreeing it was his way or no way.. I removed myself after a while... Hmmm mental illness can be masked by people thinking that their needs are more important than any others. I frankly find people needing the spotlight always on them to be mentally ill IMHO there seems to be an epedimic of sociopathic behavior. |
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I frankly find people needing the spotlight always on them to be mentally ill IMHO That would describe a few people you seem friendly with... |
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I usually just burn the house down lol UMMM I think there has to be better ways my friend ON a very serious note.. I have been a relationship where there was no agreeing it was his way or no way.. I removed myself after a while... Hmmm mental illness can be masked by people thinking that their needs are more important than any others. I frankly find people needing the spotlight always on them to be mentally ill IMHO there seems to be an epedimic of sociopathic behavior. Is this a clinical opinion or a personal ? |
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I usually just burn the house down lol UMMM I think there has to be better ways my friend ON a very serious note.. I have been a relationship where there was no agreeing it was his way or no way.. I removed myself after a while... Hmmm mental illness can be masked by people thinking that their needs are more important than any others. I frankly find people needing the spotlight always on them to be mentally ill IMHO there seems to be an epedimic of sociopathic behavior. Is this a clinical opinion or a personal ? when a disorder effects 5% of the population its an epedimic. Google sociopathic epedimic theres tons of reading |
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Gets up from the group circle... walks up to the podium. taps on the microphone tap tap this is on.. hello group my name is PhD no1.. and I have a mental illness. it's called being popular yes I do crave the spotlight.. I need help lol.. I'm a spotlight junkie.. it all started when I was 3 years old.. oh wait a minute are those fresh donuts on that back table over there I'll be right back lol
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