My feeling is if things feel like they are getting out of hand that is a good time to take a time out and create a little distance for a time limited time.

I don't think walking out with out saying I will see you in a set period of time because all that does is make the other person feel manipulated, punished, or abandoned, but it is a time to see some of the roots of the problem in self reflection which is often a good place to start. AND; Often, it is painfully obvious with a little breathing room and sometimes rest; which I think is a common detail when things get "out of hand".

A good "cool down" tool is journaling to your self. Outlining what happened from both sides, and then trying to think through how you feel about it.

AND this is huge; how you may have made them feel. If you don't own both sides of and argument then it is not about the relationship it is only about yourself. And you will always be the looser sooner or later if it is ONLY about you. Have yet to see anyone who thinks they are the center of the universe keep any relationships going very long.

Setting boundaries; so you don't feel like you are getting walked all over is important to figure out what they are before you get in a relationship, but if that hasn't happened and you haven't made them clear then you need to do some homework, and re-negotiate the relationship. That can come with costs ; but, if you sell yourself then it is really not a relationship but someone the master and the other the slave.

Sometimes I see people ignoring being a sex slave is only fun as an occasional play fantasy and not a day to day relationship. People who try to play that way usually end up bored, feeling abused , or hating their victim, and abandoning them once it gets old.

Well Hate to do this but when it is 5% of said population that isn't really an epidemic proportions and before I ever believe anything off of google I would have to research it. I was speaking Metaphorical terms of personal or professional...






NO1 come back here sweetie let's talk about your craving for the spotlight

goes back to age 3 .... hmmm let's lie you down on the sofa and talk about how and what you remember at age 3..


So that we can find out if this little issue is part of the problem of "disagreements"solving

okay back to the topic

..shhhhhh. . she wants me to lay down on the couch.. stop cock blocking me

Okay I promise I'll behave

What is it called when the person hijacks every topic with perversion?

Hmm.. I'm going with.. spotlight junkie..
what part of I need help !! did you not understand

Hells bells I was totally on subject... Til this last post..

Blondey

Rolled his eyes to the back of his head and squeezes his Kleenex box really really hard .. I love the way you think

The best way to end a disagreement is to walk away. There are too many people who are mentally ill and just will never get it.

I believe in verbal warfare myself

come out with both guns a blazing and don't give in
til ya win


but..that's just me

Or a right cross. Or The right Cross.

I thought the proper way to end all arguments involving couples was for the man to just hand over his wallet and politely ask her to not max out the credit cards?

sounds dangerous yet exciting

Hmmmm I wonder if that would work with Pancho...
Somehow I don't think so...

Isn't shopping good therapy?

Not that I would encourage such a thing.
Oh no not I?

My Take:

(How do you cool it down?)
Calm myself down first.
Then check the guy's perspective.
There has to be a why? The motive and what really makes him angry.

(Diffuse it? - Listen to what he is telling u)
Finding out the why he is in disagreement with me is really important
and the gravity of the disagreement.
Is it a petty disagreement? or an important, life-changing disagreement?


( Not get walked all over)
Depends on how I see myself and how important is the 'guy I am in
disagreement' is to me.How important is this guy to my life?
Giving him time is my prudent way of not getting walked over.


There is always the possibility that we just completely misunderstood
each other's perspective.

The need to be fair and be objective is very important to me on this.
So I feel the need to reach out. If that does not work,
it's wiser to end the relationship with the guy,
than to hurt each other more, over an unresolved disagreement.

I've found the most mature and adult way to end a disagreement is to choke them unconscious... In a good christian way.

Oh I don't think so I hate shopping as much as most men..
Unless it is
Boats
Hardware or home improvement
quilting materials
And drool shoe shopping...

Oh I would not encourage you to shop for home improvement
Oh my gosh can we get that boat?
I'm sure Pancho want mind digging a hole for the lake. I will bring the spade?
Of cause the lake will benefit the animals.

Shoes to girly for me