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Topic: Distance relationship
kajew's photo
Sat 10/10/15 05:47 AM
Do you believe in distance relationships?

bashikhan's photo
Sat 10/10/15 06:10 AM
yes..but distance should end at a moment...

missionary57's photo
Sat 10/10/15 06:43 AM
I don't believe distance should be a problem. Although it must be temporary and both would have to agree. I have seen success stories where the persons were 8000 miles apart. Let God do the joining and distance will not be a problem :)

no photo
Sat 10/10/15 07:04 AM
No.

Rock's photo
Sat 10/10/15 08:23 AM

Do you believe in distance relationships?


Nope!

RustyKitty's photo
Sat 10/10/15 08:30 AM
no

no photo
Sat 10/10/15 09:28 AM
Do you believe in distance relationships?

Too vague of a question.

Do I believe loving relationships that have to endure distance at some point can survive distance for a period of time but it strains and weakens the relationship?
Yes.

Do I believe people can start a relationship over long distances, then move closer, and basically forget the distance part and build a new loving potentially successful romantic relationship for a while?
Yes. It's called settling. You delude yourself you're in love or bonding at a distance where it's all safe, then you simply transfer your delusion to in person, and it lasts for a few months or years until the delusion starts to crumble.

No different than a camel storing water. Eventually the water runs out. And if they were capable of actually being in a successful relationship, they wouldn't have had to use online to do it, and they would have absolutely no desire to build it online.

The length it lasts depends on how good they are at preservation of self image. It's not a relationship built on love, it's a relationship built on wanting it to be seen as a relationship built on love and a desire to not look like a relationship failure.

Do I believe people can build a relationship over long distances and have it be successful at long distances for the rest of their lives?
No.

Do I believe people from disparate cultures can connect online and build meaningful relationships that are primarily built around love?
No.

Do I believe people from disparate cultures or similar cultures from far away can connect online and develop meaningful relationships that are primarily built around being mutually beneficial or focused on fulfilling similar personal goals, with love a secondary or tertiary concern and not all that relevant but will occur simply due to the nature of human physiology?
Yes.

Do I believe people should go after whatever relationship they can get that works for them?
Sure.

Does it matter, do I (or should anyone) judge or care, if the relationships are based on delusion, or shallowness, or true magic unicorn and fairy fart love?
Only if it makes me pay more in taxes.

TMommy's photo
Sat 10/10/15 09:31 AM
I lived two hours away from grandma and grandpa growing up

saw em on major holidays and summer vacations
yep loved them both bigsmile

no photo
Sat 10/10/15 09:34 AM
but is two states away far enough that you don't hear his snoring?

no photo
Sat 10/10/15 09:43 AM
yes

misstina2's photo
Sat 10/10/15 12:46 PM
flowerforyou sureflowerforyou If the two of you are upfront about what you want and have patience to achieve your goalsflowerforyou

Frankk1950's photo
Sat 10/10/15 12:55 PM
Yes I do but I believe in keeping them at arms length or maybe a little closer.

chyndal's photo
Sat 10/10/15 01:47 PM
Yes I do

mysticalview21's photo
Sat 10/10/15 02:54 PM
maybe with the right person ... not sure ...

SitkaRains's photo
Sat 10/10/15 05:55 PM
Yes I do if and this is a huge IF...
It is known who is going to be doing the relocating.
IF you can keep the fantasy out of it and keep it in reality.

Then yes they can work.

Frankk1950's photo
Sat 10/10/15 06:50 PM

Yes I do if and this is a huge IF...
It is known who is going to be doing the relocating.
IF you can keep the fantasy out of it and keep it in reality.

Then yes they can work.


Are we allowing a little bit of the fantasy to creep in here ? Until it happens then you can only say,you believe it can work.When it does happen then you will be in a position to say they can work.I hope it works for you.flowerforyou

SitkaRains's photo
Sat 10/10/15 06:53 PM
Edited by SitkaRains on Sat 10/10/15 06:55 PM


Yes I do if and this is a huge IF...
It is known who is going to be doing the relocating.
IF you can keep the fantasy out of it and keep it in reality.

Then yes they can work.


Are we allowing a little bit of the fantasy to creep in here ? Until it happens then you can only say,you believe it can work.When it does happen then you will be in a position to say they can work.I hope it works for you.flowerforyou

Thank you and I have done a couple LDR's..distance wasn't what broke us up. WE did as we grew apart when we were together. .
Fantasy is not a good thing to enter into with a LDR. when that happens and reality slaps you in the face what are you left with.

I am in a LDR he has seen my good, bad, and the down right ugly sides of me. As I have his. We have met and we keep it real. We also knew who would be relocating.. ME we both knew that upfront.

Frankk1950's photo
Sat 10/10/15 07:14 PM


I am in a LDR he has seen my good, bad, and the down right ugly sides of me. As I have his. We have met and we keep it real. We also knew who would be relocating.. ME we both knew that upfront.

I knew about your LDR.It reads like a dream coming true.Didn't realise you had met,my bad.Can't wait to hear the end.And they lived happily ever after,

PacificStar48's photo
Sat 10/10/15 07:41 PM
I think if you fall in love with someone you meet in person it is possible to endure separations if both parties try to make it as bearable as possible, Until you meet in person it is just and idea , a hope, but it is really just a fantasy until you make it real. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it. YES. Life is too LONG to spend it living alone without someone to give and receive love from. It doesn't mean you have to be in your partners immediate presence if you are in their heart. And they are in yours.

no photo
Sat 10/10/15 08:41 PM
It's not for me. It may work for some. But not all. I'm going to say some things here. I'm not pointing this at anyone here. I'm talking about another place.

No way would I take off and go meet someone that I had only talked to on a dating site. There are just too many crazy people that know how to hide there crazy. They wait till you are sucked in by them, then out comes the crazy. After you are in too deep.

I've gone through it twice. I told myself I would never do it again. I can do crazy a whole lot closer by. The first one was in Tenn. Not that far away. But Nashville is still a good ride from me. I had talked to this woman for 6 months. I went to visit her every other weekend. I would stay the weekend. Everything always went smooth. After about 6 months of doing that, we decided I should move in. Within 6 weeks, the crazy came out.

She wouldn't stay at home at night. She wanted to hit every bar she could and come home drunk. During the time, we dated she never drank a drop. Didn't want any she said. To top it all off, she was Bipolar. And on medication. For a whole year before I moved in, I knew none of that. Not that I didn't ask. She lied.


I'm not going to go into the other one as deep. She was just as big of a nut. Maybe even more so. And she lived even farther away. This one lived in California. After winding up on the street and not knowing how I was going to get home, That ended that. Never again for me.

So don't think that because you have talked to someone several months texting, phone calls or the internet that you know them. You don't know anyone until you live with them for a while. And even then they may surprise you.

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