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| Topic: The cost of dating | |
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I am Dutch so I usually only have Dutch dates... and guess what: Dutch men always pay ... The only time I had to pay for myself -or both- was when I was dating an Englishman ... So in my book "English Dates" is what you're talking about, not Dutch dates. Dutch men are always gallant. The English one kept whinging and whining about money throughout the 10-yr relationship. He was a cheapskate. Even tried to talk me out of doing Christmas pressies, just cos he couldn't be @r$ed to spend money on me. Never had that happen with a Dutch man!  To the best of my knowledge, in Western Canada, a 'dutch date', or 'going dutch', meant that you either split the bill, or you each pay your own way. I have never heard the term 'english date'.. but that makes so much sense! I can totally see the whiner about the bill and about who pays. I know a couple 'dutchmen' just as friends through business,and they indeed are a very giving group of persons. If I am asked out for dinner, I will not be expecting to pay... If I happen to ask someone out, then I would offer to pay, although a gentleman wouldn't let me.. next time after that I would insist on paying... |
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I am Dutch so I usually only have Dutch dates... and guess what: Dutch men always pay ... The only time I had to pay for myself -or both- was when I was dating an Englishman ... So in my book "English Dates" is what you're talking about, not Dutch dates. Dutch men are always gallant. The English one kept whinging and whining about money throughout the 10-yr relationship. He was a cheapskate. Even tried to talk me out of doing Christmas pressies, just cos he couldn't be @r$ed to spend money on me. Never had that happen with a Dutch man! To the best of my knowledge, in Western Canada, a 'dutch date', or 'going dutch', meant that you either split the bill, or you each pay your own way. I have never heard the term 'english date'.. but that makes so much sense! I can totally see the whiner about the bill and about who pays. I know a couple 'dutchmen' just as friends through business,and they indeed are a very giving group of persons. If I am asked out for dinner, I will not be expecting to pay... If I happen to ask someone out, then I would offer to pay, although a gentleman wouldn't let me.. next time after that I would insist on paying... I'm working on salvaging the reputation of the Dutch lol, thank you for helping my campaign! Just kidding, but still happy with your reply!  
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Edited by
no1phD
on
Wed 10/14/15 12:40 PM
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Firstly I don't mind paying.. it's just I don't want to have to pay for everything.... if I take you out for two dinners in a month.. and then we go to see a movie.. it would be nice if she said you know what you paid for the dinners.. at least let me pay for the movie and popcorn.....ok.... and men paying all the time.. I believe comes from a time when men made the majority of the money.. so naturally they paid for everything... it is a tradition that has not gone away even know women make their own money today.... I imagine it says I can and am willing to support you.. I am the hunter gatherer warrior... but instead of hunting and gathering today..I just have to make sure my Visa Card.. does not max out..lol
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Edited by
no1phD
on
Wed 10/14/15 12:45 PM
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And I don't think I've ever asked a woman out for dinner formerly.. as in..
Betty Sue.. would you do me the pleasure of dining with me this evening. As my guest....ok. but if I said that then it would apply I am paying.... I usually say do you want to go get something to eat.... nowhere in there does it say or apply I want to pay for your food....no no.. it just says I would like some company well I have dinner.. |
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..yes.. but you are a rare bird..wink..  .. I have gone on a lot of dinner dates and meet and greets.. and I mean a lot..  .. And out of all those women! there are only two I think !that insisted on paying for their . Half of the dinner bill.. one of these ladies.. made a gesture to pay for her own drinks.. which I politely declined letting her do... And the other one became very insistent on paying for her share.. I believe this had to do with a little faux pas I made earlier.... well we were waiting for drinks before dinner.. in a attempt to make small talk... I brought up this site..m2.. and mentioned a topic.. I believe it was called.. paying your share.. I also believe I ,started the topic..lol.. it was about who should pay the bill when a man and woman go to dinner ... well of course me being me !..lol ..I did not really realize how my dinner guest was receiving this.. well ! How she was really.interpreting this little amusing story I was telling her. . but I clued in on it,when the bill came and she insisted on paying for her half of the meal..  . I felt really embarrassed... .. and tried explaining that the story I was telling her before we had dinner was not in some way.. to twist her arm to pay for her share of the meal.. needless to say I did not see her again after that..  . I can see where she would have gotten that idea from what I am reading here. And I personally think she was wrong to have been offended. You were a bit rude bringing it up during pre dinner drink..And Yes there was a time I did a lot of meet and greets and it can be expensive. Even if I am paying my way. I took care of that one real quick... When I was living in Sitka it was like I will meet you at the local coffee shop bring your walking shoes. And off through totem park we would go. There was a two fold reason for that. One to see if he could actually walk 1.5 miles on level ground and not run out of wind the other was he comfortable doing something low key. In all honestly I have had way more fun on dates that are lower keyed having a nice meal can mean going to a deli getting take out and watching the boats come in after playing a round of miniature golf. To me something about dating has gotten really skewed and out of wack when anyone has to impress someone else with the amount of money they drop on a date. I have had more fun on what is called a cheap date where not a lot of money is being spent from either side. I guess I am a weird duck I don't want the man to spend all the money on me nor do I want to spend all that money on him I want to spend all that time on each other |
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And I don't think I've ever asked a woman out for dinner formerly.. as in.. Betty Sue.. would you do me the pleasure of dining with me this evening. As my guest....ok. but if I said that then it would apply I am paying.... I usually say do you want to go get something to eat.... nowhere in there does it say or apply I want to pay for your food....no no.. it just says I would like some company well I have dinner.. That would have been the difference of formally inviting them out for a meal yes that would mean that you would be expected to pay for it. And how I would have handled that would have been.. Ok then please allow me to buy the drinks. No1 as much as I hate to say this in the way you are asking it does sound like you are inviting them and you would pay.. I know I am going to have fired breathed down my neck when I say this from some women.. The proper thing would have been to say back to the gentlemen.. I would love to if you will allow me to pay for something.. It could be as little as the desert. There are ways to pay your own way and still keep every ones pride in balance. |
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Ok typically women don't have desserts.... well I don't I have to watch my girlish figure..lol.... but that would just be weird.. ok dinner was $120 not including $20 for the desert.. so what do you do slip him a 20 $..... that would make me feel like a gigolo..lol..
And how is me saying hey would you like to go get something to eat... In any way apply that I'm paying.. I'm just asking if you're hungry..lol.. When I say to one of my guy friends hey let's go get something to eat and.. drink.. I don't normally pay for them.. Ok sometimes I do..lol.. but not normally.. so why is it any different when ..I say hey let's go get something to eat to a woman.? |
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..yes.. but you are a rare bird..wink.. .. I have gone on a lot of dinner dates and meet and greets.. and I mean a lot.. .. And out of all those women! there are only two I think !that insisted on paying for their . Half of the dinner bill.. one of these ladies.. made a gesture to pay for her own drinks.. which I politely declined letting her do... And the other one became very insistent on paying for her share.. I believe this had to do with a little faux pas I made earlier.... well we were waiting for drinks before dinner.. in a attempt to make small talk... I brought up this site..m2.. and mentioned a topic.. I believe it was called.. paying your share.. I also believe I ,started the topic..lol.. it was about who should pay the bill when a man and woman go to dinner ... well of course me being me !..lol ..I did not really realize how my dinner guest was receiving this.. well ! How she was really.interpreting this little amusing story I was telling her. . but I clued in on it,when the bill came and she insisted on paying for her half of the meal.. . I felt really embarrassed... .. and tried explaining that the story I was telling her before we had dinner was not in some way.. to twist her arm to pay for her share of the meal.. needless to say I did not see her again after that.. . I can see where she would have gotten that idea from what I am reading here. And I personally think she was wrong to have been offended. You were a bit rude bringing it up during pre dinner drink..And Yes there was a time I did a lot of meet and greets and it can be expensive. Even if I am paying my way. I took care of that one real quick... When I was living in Sitka it was like I will meet you at the local coffee shop bring your walking shoes. And off through totem park we would go. There was a two fold reason for that. One to see if he could actually walk 1.5 miles on level ground and not run out of wind the other was he comfortable doing something low key. In all honestly I have had way more fun on dates that are lower keyed having a nice meal can mean going to a deli getting take out and watching the boats come in after playing a round of miniature golf. To me something about dating has gotten really skewed and out of wack when anyone has to impress someone else with the amount of money they drop on a date. I have had more fun on what is called a cheap date where not a lot of money is being spent from either side. I guess I am a weird duck I don't want the man to spend all the money on me nor do I want to spend all that money on him I want to spend all that time on each other  
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^^^^^^ If you two broke her bed frame it must have been a cheap one and instead of paying outright for the entire bed insist on paying half since hopefully she was involved with breaking the first one.
I read on here one of your posts where you built a deck for a friend and she paid for the supplies and you provided the labour. I thought that was precious and I am sure you got some perks from it. Nothing like seeing a man with out his shirt on if he has the abs for it sweating to get a woman thinking about getting her man clean so she can get him to sweating in a whole other way
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Edited by
no1phD
on
Wed 10/14/15 01:56 PM
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^^^^^^ If you two broke her bed frame it must have been a cheap one and instead of paying outright for the entire bed insist on paying half since hopefully she was involved with breaking the first one. I read on here one of your posts where you built a deck for a friend and she paid for the supplies and you provided the labour. I thought that was precious and I am sure you got some perks from it. Nothing like seeing a man with out his shirt on if he has the abs for it sweating to get a woman thinking about getting her man clean so she can get him to sweating in a whole other way .. when I heard them breaking I said... oh my god I'm so sorry.. all she said was oh my god don't stop..lol.... and yes I know some guys out there that are going to be upset with what I'm about to say.. Some guys bring their dates flowers.. I get and build my dates very nice Decks...lol.. and I was at one point almost going to pay for the material.. but then I came to my senses.. figured building it would be good enough..lol.... and I kept my shirt on.. well I was actually wearing a wife beater.... I did not want to excite her elderly neighbor.. .. who actually asked me when I was finished building.. my lady friends deck.... if I would be nice enough to build her a deck.. seeing how I did such a professional and nice job.. on my girlfriends deck.. okay lady friend .. but the elderly lady... who wanted me to do her deck.. ... well let's just say the job was a little too big and I don't think she could really afford it..... the material that is.. Because I will work for just a mars bar..lol.
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Because I will work for just a mars bar. See you just made my point.. You are a cheap date.. And I do know the bed and the construction unless made out of hickory or oak are poor quality beds... I believe they are called mission style beds... My kids broke theirs in about 2 weeks... Only go with solid oak, hickory, rosewood 4 poster beds... Will cost a few thou but so worthy it in the long run.. Head boards solid ornate enough for silk scarves if needed and won't bend if you need the extra stability  |
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Yes that is so funny.. because when I first saw her bed.. I said ooh we can take turns tying each other up to those... we both smiled at each other...
.. but now we both realize that probably wouldn't have worked... because those slats really break easily.. .. next time I come across one.. I'm just going to push the mattress down onto the floor... and tell my lady friend.. trust me you will thank me later... while secretly saying it in my own head buying one bed is enough... I'm such a cheap bastard..lol |
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you don't do things in half bro. lol
NTS. no bedroom saga. |
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you don't do things in half bro. lol
NTS. no bedroom saga. |
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I am 56 years old. My generation was taught to be a gentleman and pay for a ladies night out whatever it cost. Times have changed and I have already been married, had kids, and paid for everything. Now it is time to be more conservative and try to be with someone who wants to spend time with me for who I am and not what I can give them. Although I struggle with it -- dating is a shared experience. 1/2 & 1/2 =1
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Edited by
no1phD
on
Thu 10/15/15 09:44 AM
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you don't do things in half bro. lol NTS. no bedroom saga. And that too can be a cost of dating.. Not putting yourself 100 and 10% into.. Your dating experience.... rather it be giving them all the attention they deserve... listening intently to everything they say.. to every delicious word that rolls off their lips... . Letting them know you hear them understand them.. that what they are saying no matter how trivial.... has merit..... same thing applies to the bedroom.. if you're not going to pour all of yourself into her.. give her every bit of.. yourself.... if you're not going to pay attention.. or take your time.. To hit every spot..mmm. to blow lightly..aaahhaa To fan that glowing ember..mmmhhmm.. deep deep within her.. to let her know.... that in the bedroom she is for you ,and you are for her... that your only purpose at that moment.. is to fulfil her fantasies.. to let her know how desirable she is how sexual.. she is.. what a beautiful woman.. she is.. And how much you crave lust and desire her.. how much you need her.. and how willing you are to please her....well then really if you're not giving 110% then what's the point.... I say bring your A game or don't show up at all..lol.wink |
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Wow No1
I need to copy and paste. What you says makes perfect sense. Now I understand why you get the chicks. I know a few could do with this information. I have some work to do. Thanks Bro |
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Expensive women are normally a big turn off for me. I normally spend an average of $50 on a date . I like women that are willing to pay part of the bill. If she eats and drinks a lot i normally dumped her because such actions will drive the dating cost up
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I usually say do you want to go get something to eat.... nowhere in there does it say or apply I want to pay for your food....no no.. it just says I would like some company well I have dinner.. If I was asked ' do you want to get something to eat'.. i probably would say 'sure, are you buying?'.. of course, depending upon the circumstances. so depends on the context. |
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Expensive women are normally a big turn off for me. I normally spend an average of $50 on a date . I like women that are willing to pay part of the bill. If she eats and drinks a lot i normally dumped her because such actions will drive the dating cost up hmm.. $50.00 on a date? where are taking her? even sharing, that is only $25.00 each on a meal and drinks? What about a movie and dinner? that has got to cost over $50.00.. girls (me) not a fan of cheapness.., but maybe your income is low and cannot afford someone more 'high maintenance'.. I can certainly understand being turned off by someone who would never consider offering to pay a share, or pay for a meal at a different time. |
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