Topic: SilverFox Club Humor
Duttoneer's photo
Thu 12/03/15 02:59 AM

OMG!!! Poor pig!!!


Grunted.laugh

Duttoneer's photo
Thu 12/03/15 03:03 AM

An old guy was going out for the day and arrived at the railway station in good time to catch the train, so he was having a look round the platform as he waited.

He soon saw a machine with a sign saying, I speak your weight and tell your fortune, and he thought he would give it a try. He stood on the machine and put a £1.00 coin in the slot and moments later he hears, Your weight is 185 pounds and you are going to fart.

He gets off the machine a little indignant about this, but suddenly, thhhhrrrrp!!!

This cannot be right he thought, so decides to have another go, and steps back on to the machine and puts in another £1.00.and hears, Your weight is 185 pounds and you are going to fart.

As soon as he steps off the machine, thhhhrrrrp!!!

In disbelief he steps on the machine yet again and puts in another £1.00 coin, only to hear. Your weight is 185 pounds and you are going to fart.

This time he steps carefully off the machine, determined this is not going to happen, but suddenly as he gently walks away, thhhhrrrrp!!!

He decides to have one more try, and again steps on to the machine puts in the £1.00 coin, and hears. Your weight is 185 pounds and you have been farting about that long you have missed your train.

mzrosie's photo
Thu 12/03/15 02:25 PM


An old guy was going out for the day and arrived at the railway station in good time to catch the train, so he was having a look round the platform as he waited.

He soon saw a machine with a sign saying, I speak your weight and tell your fortune, and he thought he would give it a try. He stood on the machine and put a £1.00 coin in the slot and moments later he hears, Your weight is 185 pounds and you are going to fart.

He gets off the machine a little indignant about this, but suddenly, thhhhrrrrp!!!

This cannot be right he thought, so decides to have another go, and steps back on to the machine and puts in another £1.00.and hears, Your weight is 185 pounds and you are going to fart.

As soon as he steps off the machine, thhhhrrrrp!!!

In disbelief he steps on the machine yet again and puts in another £1.00 coin, only to hear. Your weight is 185 pounds and you are going to fart.

This time he steps carefully off the machine, determined this is not going to happen, but suddenly as he gently walks away, thhhhrrrrp!!!

He decides to have one more try, and again steps on to the machine puts in the £1.00 coin, and hears. Your weight is 185 pounds and you have been farting about that long you have missed your train.




Good one, Dutt! laugh laugh

mzrosie's photo
Thu 12/03/15 02:29 PM
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?" The man answered, "Just a few, but cut each one into four pieces." The doctor said, "That won't do you any good." The elderly gentleman said, "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore, as I'm over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."


Duttoneer's photo
Fri 12/04/15 01:25 AM

An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?" The man answered, "Just a few, but cut each one into four pieces." The doctor said, "That won't do you any good." The elderly gentleman said, "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore, as I'm over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."




laugh laugh Yet another good one mzrosie.

mzrosie's photo
Fri 12/04/15 02:49 PM
An older lady was lonely and decided that she needed a pet to keep her company. So off to the pet shop she went. Forlornly, she searched. Nothing seemed to catch her interest, except this one ugly frog. As she walked by the barrel he was in, he looked up and winked at her! He whispered, "I'm lonely, too. Buy me, and you won't be sorry." The old lady figured what the heck, as she hadn't found anything else. So, she bought the frog and went to her car. Driving down the road the frog whispered to her, "Kiss me, and you won't be sorry." So, the old lady figured what the heck, and kissed the frog. Immediately the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy young prince. Then the prince kissed her back, and you know what the old lady turned into? The first motel she could find. (She's old, not dead!)


Hip Hip Hooray for the old lady!!!!:banana: :banana: :banana:

Valeris's photo
Sun 12/06/15 03:27 AM



no photo
Sun 12/06/15 03:39 AM







laugh Hhaa...so funny


But I forgot why. rofl

Valeris's photo
Mon 12/07/15 01:54 PM




A Bit Naughty B:laughing: ut Funny

mzrosie's photo
Tue 12/08/15 08:20 AM





A Bit Naughty B:laughing: ut Funny


laugh laugh

Duttoneer's photo
Tue 12/08/15 10:29 AM

An old guy in a Retirement home was called in to the manager's office, and told that a rumour was circulating that a woman had spent the night in his room.

He said it was untrue, but the manager had his doubts, and asked him, are you sure you are not protecting her? Was it Gertrude? No he said. Was it Maude? No he said. Was it Tilly then? No he said. So, the manager said OK that is all.

The old guy left the office and returned to the main lounge where his friend asked him what was going on. After he had explained, his friend asked if it was true, had he had a woman in all night?

No. He replied, but I have got the names of three dead certs!


no photo
Tue 12/15/15 07:16 AM
GRANDMA IN COURT..

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer!

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me..
You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, - "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. ..Yes I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said:

"If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to jail for contempt of court !

no photo
Fri 12/25/15 03:27 AM
Some have asked what I've been doing in retirement. Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100 feet tall and 400 feet wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights, and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot green with pink trim. Then I was gonna hire some idiot to stand on top of it and SCREAM as loud as he could three or four times a day. The City Council told me; Forget it ... AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! So, I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque. Work starts on Monday. And here is the best part, it's going to be tax exempt! I love this country. It's the government that scares me.

no photo
Wed 12/30/15 01:36 AM
Prayers answered!

On a balmy day in the South Pacific, a Navy ship spied smoke coming from one of three huts on an island they thought was deserted. Upon arriving at the shoreline, they were met by a survivor. He told the captain, "I'm so glad you're here! I've been alone on this island for more than FIVE YEARS!"
The captain of the ship replied, "But we saw THREE huts."
The survivor said, "Oh. I live in one, and go to church in another."
"What about the THIRD hut?" asked the captain.
"That's where I USED to go to church. Didn't get results to my prayers at the one church, so I built another. And here you are!"

no photo
Thu 12/31/15 06:03 PM
One day an 75 year old man arrived for his monthly check up and smiled when the doctor asked about his health."I have never felt better," said the old man, "I have taken an 20 year old bride, and she is pregnant. What do you think of that?"

After a moment the doctor said, "I once knew a guy who was an avid hunter. One day he slept in late, and in the rush to go out he took his umbrella instead of his rifle. When he got deep into the woods he suddenly came face to face with a huge bear. He raised his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. Do you know what happened then?" "No, what happened?" replied the old man."The bear fell dead in front of him!" said the doctor.

"That's impossible," replied the old man,
"Somebody else must have been doing the shooting!"
"Now you've got my message!" said the doctor -

no photo
Fri 01/01/16 05:51 AM





A Bit Naughty B:laughing: ut Funny




:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: rofl rofl

no photo
Thu 01/07/16 11:02 AM
Blonde Correspondence

The blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." "Don't you have a phone in your car?" the shrink asks. "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car." Intrigued, the doc asks: "Uh...how's that working?" "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet." The psychiatrist follows up, "And why do you think that is?" The blonde answers, "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

no photo
Sun 01/10/16 12:47 PM
"Hello?", "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."

Brief Pause. "Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."

"Okay Daddy, just a minute."

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it Daddy." "And what happened honey?" he asked.

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."

***Long Pause***

Then Daddy says,

"Swimming pool? ...Is this 486-5*32?"


Valeris's photo
Sun 01/10/16 01:21 PM

no photo
Sun 01/17/16 02:13 PM
One day, while strolling down the boardwalk, John bumped into an old friend of his, Rob, from high school. “You look great John, how do you stay looking so young? Why you must be 60 already but you don’t look a day over 40!” Rob exclaimed.

“I feel like I’m 40 too!” replied John.

“That’s incredible” exclaimed Rob, “Does it run in the family? How old was your dad when he passed?”

“Did I say he was dead?” asked John. “He’s 81 and is more active then ever. He just joined the neighborhood basketball team!” responded John.

“Whoa! Well how old was your Grandfather when he died?”

“Did I say he died” asked John. Rob was amazed. “He just had his 105th birthday and plays golf and goes swimming each day! He’s actually getting married this week!”

“Getting married?!” Rob asked. If he’s 105, why on earth does he want to get married?!

John looked at Rob and replied, “Did I say he wanted to?”