Topic: The Holidays and fake relationships
no photo
Sun 11/15/15 03:25 PM
This seems to be a time of the year when a lot of people try to get into a relationship, but only for the holidays. There are some people that don't want to be alone and maybe want a partner to go to family events. Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years eve. After that, they want to be single. I didn't know that this is a thing for many people in the single world. It happened to me a few years back. I met a guy at the gym around Thanksgiving time and started dating. He really seemed to be into me and had no family living in the area and wanted to spend Christmas and new years eve with me. Really soon after January 1st, he disappeared. Finally, I went to his house and simply said, "am I your girlfriend?" He said, "Uh, I guess not". There was no scene. I just ok, and left. Since then, I have found that it happens a lot that people just want someone for the holidays. Has anyone on here thought about that or had an experience like that?

misstina2's photo
Sun 11/15/15 03:30 PM
flowerforyou I have heard about people breaking up before holidays in order to avoid giftingflowerforyou I'd be happy to know quickly if it was short term either caseflowerforyou

soufiehere's photo
Sun 11/15/15 03:31 PM
Yikes...no.
How creepy is that.
Took some nerve for you to confront him...way to go :-)

no photo
Sun 11/15/15 03:37 PM

flowerforyou I have heard about people breaking up before holidays in order to avoid giftingflowerforyou I'd be happy to know quickly if it was short term either caseflowerforyou
That makes more sense to me....why on earth would I want a holiday girlfriend Id have to spend money on? laugh

TMommy's photo
Sun 11/15/15 03:42 PM
actually this happened to me once..kinda

met a guy from another site
from another state
happened to be up here visiting friends on thanksgiving
so instead of meeting in restaurant ..

I thought what the heck and invited him over for thanksgiving dinner
with my kids ( I okayed this with them first)
well...


he was older than he had admitted to in the pics..
well into his fifties
and he oohed and ahhed over the home cooked meal
wanted us all to watch charlie brown thanksgiving after it
then fell asleep on my couch..

it was an odd first date to say the least..
but we had a good conversation
and I think he was just nostalgic for childhood or back in his married days

Rock's photo
Sun 11/15/15 03:43 PM
I adamantly try to avoid the whole relationship thang, during the holidays.


Wait!
Who am I trying to kid here.




I adamantly try to avoid the whole relationship thang, 365.

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 11/15/15 03:44 PM
Holiday "iteis" is a big reason I tend to avoid taking anyone who suddenly expresses a flush of romance right before the holidays to serious. It is common in work-o-holic types that can't be bothered when the office is open but get panicky what they are going to do with themselves when work exodus begins.

I often get a big push for phone numbers and private emails right before the holidays and way to often it ends up in drunk dialing and boo hoo sob stories how unfair it is to be single at the holidays. Save the drama for your Momma. lol

Granted I have a few friends that do tend to pick up the phone for dates to accommodate the holiday calendar but I have no illusions that it's anything more than friendship and if they are not there when I need them sorry I am booked.

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Sun 11/15/15 04:14 PM
It's among a whole bunch of behaviors I've heard about or experienced. Basically, I think the "relationship for the Holidays" thing is just one of a number of sub categories under the general heading "Doesn't actually like other people."

Some people only get involved with others for the sake of personal entertainment. They don't actually give a damn about them as fellow human beings. The category includes:

* dates hot lookers in order to show off to friends;
* dates for personal gain, such as money or free meals;
* marries for free maid or butler services;
* claims to be dating seriously but only in order to get laid;

And so on.

Basically, I've come to realize that a person doesn't have to be a murderer to be a sociopath. There are plenty of "gentle" sociopaths out there.

no photo
Sun 11/15/15 04:32 PM
Quite. Somehow experienced that. I felt embarrased...

no photo
Sun 11/15/15 06:47 PM
This seems to be a time of the year when a lot of people try to get into a relationship, but only for the holidays.

Personally, I think the holidays make people realize they are starving for human companionship and emotional intimacy, belongingness and connectedness.

Starving people generally don't want to deal with cooking a 3 course nutritious meal.
So they just drop by the fast food open 24/7 place, eat it and say "omg I was so hungry, I looooove this greasy fat salt yummy stuff!" and then when their appetite is sated they start realizing "oh god, I shouldn't have eaten that," so throw up or get diarrhea, and then the next day just move on to better habits.

Has anyone on here thought about that or had an experience like that?

I think internet dating is the McDonald's of dating.
You just can't see the gluttons, because people that subsist on the diet don't get fat, just better at hiding their real personality and motives.

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 11/15/15 07:08 PM

It's among a whole bunch of behaviors I've heard about or experienced. Basically, I think the "relationship for the Holidays" thing is just one of a number of sub categories under the general heading "Doesn't actually like other people."

Some people only get involved with others for the sake of personal entertainment. They don't actually give a damn about them as fellow human beings. The category includes:

* dates hot lookers in order to show off to friends;
* dates for personal gain, such as money or free meals;
* marries for free maid or butler services;
* claims to be dating seriously but only in order to get laid;

And so on.

Basically, I've come to realize that a person doesn't have to be a murderer to be a sociopath. There are plenty of "gentle" sociopaths out there.


Soooooh true.

graygentleman's photo
Sun 11/15/15 07:38 PM
I am kind of glad that I usually work Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years so I don't have to worry about being alone or if I will celebrate those days.

I think even if I didn't work that I would not start anything serious or actually go out with someone new until after the new year started.

Although I just noticed I am actually off Thanksgiving, so it will either be turkey sandwiches or trade with someone that has family celebrations that day??