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Topic: Bitter Wisdom
peggy122's photo
Thu 06/02/16 02:10 PM
How do you walk away with the wisdom of painful life lessons without the bitterness that sometimes accompanies it?

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/02/16 02:13 PM
Edited by TMommy on Thu 06/02/16 02:18 PM
you have a choice daily on how you allow things to affect you

what memories ya hold onto

which ones you drive yourself nuts with..


you have the power to look at your life as lessons learned

as gaining in character, wisdom

or you have the choice to allow that pain like a cancer..

to fester and rot your insides


think there is a certain ..oh I don't know

comfort maybe in knowing ya did the best you could
in the circumstances you were in at the time


allows ya to walk away with your head held high

what makes one person survive tragedy..hardship..pain

only to thrive and prosper and grow

and another to shrivel up inside, shut down..
unable or unwilling to move on

barely living

TxsGal3333's photo
Thu 06/02/16 02:17 PM
As TMommy said you have to learn to make choices each day what you allow to eat at you or let it go..

Myself I take each day at a time do what I can if it is something I can not change then I do what I can and walk away from the situation..


peggy122's photo
Thu 06/02/16 02:35 PM
Edited by peggy122 on Thu 06/02/16 02:37 PM

you have a choice daily on how you allow things to affect you

what memories ya hold onto

which ones you drive yourself nuts with..


you have the power to look at your life as lessons learned

as gaining in character, wisdom

or you have the choice to allow that pain like a cancer..

to fester and rot your insides


think there is a certain ..oh I don't know

comfort maybe in knowing ya did the best you could
in the circumstances you were in at the time


allows ya to walk away with your head held high

what makes one person survive tragedy..hardship..pain

only to thrive and prosper and grow

and another to shrivel up inside, shut down..
unable or unwilling to move on

barely living


I agree with the power of choice Tmom, and some of us will pass the test when it comes to choosing to ACT appropriately, but when it comes to something as intangible as feelings or attitudes, it's a lot more challenging to harness, isn't it? Not to mention the reality that some people are not even aware that they are bitter because their actions remain what is deemed "appropriate", but the tempest of feelings sometimes remain contained until it implodes and takes them or others by surprise.

peggy122's photo
Thu 06/02/16 02:39 PM
Edited by peggy122 on Thu 06/02/16 02:51 PM

As TMommy said you have to learn to make choices each day what you allow to eat at you or let it go..

Myself I take each day at a time do what I can if it is something I can not change then I do what I can and walk away from the situation..




As feelings are hard to harness physically, are there any practical things you can do to release the bitterness or the negative feelings that may accompany life lessons?

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/02/16 03:15 PM
there is a little sign next to my cork board where I tack up everything I need to remember

it says " Is what you are doing now getting you closer to your goals?"


I think we live in a quick fix society

take a pill, take a shot of whiskey and move on


and deny, deny, deny deny..

problem with a bandaid kind of solution

is that the problem..the pain that caused it
still exists

peggy122's photo
Thu 06/02/16 03:25 PM

there is a little sign next to my cork board where I tack up everything I need to remember

it says " Is what you are doing now getting you closer to your goals?"


I think we live in a quick fix society

take a pill, take a shot of whiskey and move on


and deny, deny, deny deny..

problem with a bandaid kind of solution

is that the problem..the pain that caused it
still exists



Yeah . Medicating doesnt cure anything. thats for sure :thumbsup:

Annierooroo's photo
Thu 06/02/16 03:43 PM
Totally agree with Tmommy
Can't add anything else to it

peggy122's photo
Thu 06/02/16 03:51 PM

Totally agree with Tmommy
Can't add anything else to it


Thanks Annie :smile:

no photo
Thu 06/02/16 03:54 PM
How do you walk away with the wisdom of painful life lessons without the bitterness that sometimes accompanies it?

Sometimes you don't or can't.
People respond to "life lessons" differently.
Your personality helps define how you will react to a particular "life lesson."

Other than that, how do you walk away from anything without bitterness, or how do you stave off or cure bitterness?
You have a social support system that you feel an integral part of and gives you purpose.

In practical terms bitterness is just anger, disappointment, and fear (i.e. stress) being released towards people to get them to understand and accept you.
"Life lessons" change who you are as you realize something new, changing your place in your perceptions of reality.

If you have a lot of friends and family (or pets), if you have meaningful relationships you value, feel a part of a group, and notice things didn't really change, it helps dissipate any bitterness.

If your only social interaction is shallow (e.g. internet forums), you don't really have a strong family or social support network, then there is pretty much no way you will avoid feeling bitter. What you feel bitter about, though, it's depth, and what else it affects, will be dependent upon your personality.

no photo
Thu 06/02/16 03:56 PM
Im developing the habit of holding my beliefs lightly rather than clinging to them tightly as absolutes.
This allows me the flexibility of dealing with things more as they are rather than how i believe they should be

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/02/16 04:01 PM

How do you walk away with the wisdom of painful life lessons without the bitterness that sometimes accompanies it?

Sometimes you don't or can't.
People respond to "life lessons" differently.
Your personality helps define how you will react to a particular "life lesson."

Other than that, how do you walk away from anything without bitterness, or how do you stave off or cure bitterness?
You have a social support system that you feel an integral part of and gives you purpose.

In practical terms bitterness is just anger, disappointment, and fear (i.e. stress) being released towards people to get them to understand and accept you.
"Life lessons" change who you are as you realize something new, changing your place in your perceptions of reality.

If you have a lot of friends and family (or pets), if you have meaningful relationships you value, feel a part of a group, and notice things didn't really change, it helps dissipate any bitterness.

If your only social interaction is shallow (e.g. internet forums), you don't really have a strong family or social support network, then there is pretty much no way you will avoid feeling bitter. What you feel bitter about, though, it's depth, and what else it affects, will be dependent upon your personality.
I would agree with this, also I think if you consider yourself spiritual or religious this may help in coping with things

friends, involvement in your community, family bonds, satisfaction in work or volunteer activities, pets, have all been shown to improve someone's quality of life

TMommy's photo
Thu 06/02/16 04:01 PM
Edited by TMommy on Thu 06/02/16 04:03 PM
change in routine, a change in behavior

one of the first things often recommended..

get out of your own head and get out and do something

RustyKitty's photo
Thu 06/02/16 04:19 PM
Serendipity Prayer..

peggy122's photo
Thu 06/02/16 05:40 PM

How do you walk away with the wisdom of painful life lessons without the bitterness that sometimes accompanies it?

Sometimes you don't or can't.
People respond to "life lessons" differently.
Your personality helps define how you will react to a particular "life lesson."

Other than that, how do you walk away from anything without bitterness, or how do you stave off or cure bitterness?
You have a social support system that you feel an integral part of and gives you purpose.

In practical terms bitterness is just anger, disappointment, and fear (i.e. stress) being released towards people to get them to understand and accept you.
"Life lessons" change who you are as you realize something new, changing your place in your perceptions of reality.

If you have a lot of friends and family (or pets), if you have meaningful relationships you value, feel a part of a group, and notice things didn't really change, it helps dissipate any bitterness.

If your only social interaction is shallow (e.g. internet forums), you don't really have a strong family or social support network, then there is pretty much no way you will avoid feeling bitter. What you feel bitter about, though, it's depth, and what else it affects, will be dependent upon your personality.


Well said Ciretom :thumbsup:

peggy122's photo
Thu 06/02/16 05:43 PM

Im developing the habit of holding my beliefs lightly rather than clinging to them tightly as absolutes.
This allows me the flexibility of dealing with things more as they are rather than how i believe they should be


That's a great point too SimplyComplicated drinker

peggy122's photo
Thu 06/02/16 05:46 PM


How do you walk away with the wisdom of painful life lessons without the bitterness that sometimes accompanies it?

Sometimes you don't or can't.
People respond to "life lessons" differently.
Your personality helps define how you will react to a particular "life lesson."

Other than that, how do you walk away from anything without bitterness, or how do you stave off or cure bitterness?
You have a social support system that you feel an integral part of and gives you purpose.

In practical terms bitterness is just anger, disappointment, and fear (i.e. stress) being released towards people to get them to understand and accept you.
"Life lessons" change who you are as you realize something new, changing your place in your perceptions of reality.

If you have a lot of friends and family (or pets), if you have meaningful relationships you value, feel a part of a group, and notice things didn't really change, it helps dissipate any bitterness.

If your only social interaction is shallow (e.g. internet forums), you don't really have a strong family or social support network, then there is pretty much no way you will avoid feeling bitter. What you feel bitter about, though, it's depth, and what else it affects, will be dependent upon your personality.
I would agree with this, also I think if you consider yourself spiritual or religious this may help in coping with things

friends, involvement in your community, family bonds, satisfaction in work or volunteer activities, pets, have all been shown to improve someone's quality of life


Channelling your energies into affirming and uplifting activities and people. Sounds good :thumbsup:

TxsGal3333's photo
Thu 06/02/16 05:48 PM


As TMommy said you have to learn to make choices each day what you allow to eat at you or let it go..

Myself I take each day at a time do what I can if it is something I can not change then I do what I can and walk away from the situation..




As feelings are hard to harness physically, are there any practical things you can do to release the bitterness or the negative feelings that may accompany life lessons?


Mine is yard work or repairs that need to be done to get my mind off of it then come back to it later.. Seems by then I see things I did not prior..

As far as relationships at times you will see that shortly after it is over and sometimes it takes time to see things that we did not see before..

But as far as relationships I have no regrets, I learn from them and moved on.. I merely tell myself they were only a stepping stone to the one that is meant to be..

As much as I would love to believe love is for a lifetime that does not always happen.. So now I figure you should just love them for the time they are with you...

peggy122's photo
Thu 06/02/16 05:49 PM

change in routine, a change in behavior

one of the first things often recommended..

get out of your own head and get out and do something


Replacing thinking with doing. Got ya flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 06/02/16 05:52 PM

How do you walk away with the wisdom of painful life lessons without the bitterness that sometimes accompanies it?

It is difficult. Some days are better than others.

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