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| Topic: in the name of love❤️ | |
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have you ever experienced conquering any of those fears in life in the name of love? |
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Yes. Going through such a process now.
I've been in a relationship with a narcissist for 10-11 yrs, got hurt real bad. I've gotten over it, healed most of it. But there are still some strong fears to overcome. Not easy, but I won't shy away from it. I'm not the type of person to let those fears run and ruin my life. I flatly refuse to let that happen. So I work through them. No matter how scary it is. It is really difficult and confusing, because sometimes I don't know if certain feelings I stumble upon are instigated by old fears or are actual 'red flags' that I shouldn't ignore. Extremely difficult to tell those apart, I have to totally rely on my intuition and ratio. Lots of sifting and sorting. Very tiring, nerve-racking, but I have -and want- to work through it so I heal. A difficult and yet beautiful process, and somewhat lonely. The other party understands, a requirement to be able to enter this process, but I cannot and do not want to bother him with it all the time. It's my 'old chit', not his. |
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Edited by
calista29
on
Wed 08/03/16 06:59 AM
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currently am not in a relationship.
am once a product of a broken marriage.married to a very abusive (all aspect)and partly narcissistic man.the experience leaves deep scar in my system. together with extreme trauma that seems never part my way. at one point I was completely withdrawn.completely rough journey for years.and took more years even to redeemed and regained my self esteem back once again. but thankfully,it's all behind me now.been nearly 10 yrs. it was very recent that I allow myself to be get 'involved' to someone else but it was unfortunate once again that it falls into a virtual romance,huh! I didn't given up,I just simply gave way because we are not heading and sharing the same horizon at that given moment...again,I was hurt the realization came in once again that perhaps am better off as a mother than a lover?!lol and am dead serious about that  anyway,if I'll be blessed and fortunate enough still to be with someone . certainly,am willing to go through the process of conquering those fears brought by the dark shadow from the past.  |
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Yes. Going through such a process now. I've been in a relationship with a narcissist for 10-11 yrs, got hurt real bad. I've gotten over it, healed most of it. But there are still some strong fears to overcome. Not easy, but I won't shy away from it. I'm not the type of person to let those fears run and ruin my life. I flatly refuse to let that happen. So I work through them. No matter how scary it is. It is really difficult and confusing, because sometimes I don't know if certain feelings I stumble upon are instigated by old fears or are actual 'red flags' that I shouldn't ignore. Extremely difficult to tell those apart, I have to totally rely on my intuition and ratio. Lots of sifting and sorting. Very tiring, nerve-racking, but I have -and want- to work through it so I heal. A difficult and yet beautiful process, and somewhat lonely. The other party understands, a requirement to be able to enter this process, but I cannot and do not want to bother him with it all the time. It's my 'old chit', not his. I am not in a relationship and go thru this daily all those old battle scars all those ghosts that run around in your brain that like to pop up and screw with how you are feeling or how a 'normal' person is supposed to feel.. so you have to stop all the time and take stock of how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way...name the source |
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As someone who has flown a couple thousand miles and tried to make it in a place with no safety/support but the woman I did it for. I would have to say yes. Love would not fix my problem with clowns.
 
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Edited by
sparkyae5
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Wed 08/03/16 11:12 AM
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YES ITS REALLY HARD TO ESCAPE THE PAST. SO MUCH OF OURSELVES WERE INVESTED IN
THOSE RELATIONSHIPS. WORKING THROUGH OUR FEELINGS AND FULLY GRIEVING AND LETTING GO IS A MUST. AND THEN REALIZE WE WILL NOT GROW AND TRULY BE HAPPY UNTIL WE STEP OUT OF OUR CURRENT AWARENESS OF OURSELVES AND OTHERS. IT CAN BE SCARY AND PAINFULL GIVING UP OLD BELIEFS, ISSUES AND FAVORITE FELLINGS AND EMOTIONS ....CRYSTAL I BELIEVE YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND YOUR LIFE WILL REALLY IMPROVE FOR YOU.... |
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have you ever experienced conquering any of those fears in life in the name of love? I don't know exactly what fears you mean but i've done a lot for love...things i didn't know i could but when the moment came up & life surprised me with how strange & unpredictable it can be, i found myself doing things only for happiness of the woman i once loved |
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have you ever experienced conquering any of those fears in life in the name of love? I don't know exactly what fears you mean but i've done a lot for love...things i didn't know i could but when the moment came up & life surprised me with how strange & unpredictable it can be, i found myself doing things only for happiness of the woman i once loved SOMETIMES THE LOVE WE WISH FOR OTHERS IS NOT THE SAME KIND OF LOVE THEY SEEK... |
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Yes. Going through such a process now. I've been in a relationship with a narcissist for 10-11 yrs, got hurt real bad. I've gotten over it, healed most of it. But there are still some strong fears to overcome. Not easy, but I won't shy away from it. I'm not the type of person to let those fears run and ruin my life. I flatly refuse to let that happen. So I work through them. No matter how scary it is. It is really difficult and confusing, because sometimes I don't know if certain feelings I stumble upon are instigated by old fears or are actual 'red flags' that I shouldn't ignore. Extremely difficult to tell those apart, I have to totally rely on my intuition and ratio. Lots of sifting and sorting. Very tiring, nerve-racking, but I have -and want- to work through it so I heal. A difficult and yet beautiful process, and somewhat lonely. The other party understands, a requirement to be able to enter this process, but I cannot and do not want to bother him with it all the time. It's my 'old chit', not his. I am not in a relationship and go thru this daily all those old battle scars all those ghosts that run around in your brain that like to pop up and screw with how you are feeling or how a 'normal' person is supposed to feel.. so you have to stop all the time and take stock of how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way...name the source Yeah, it can be difficult indeed. I've basically healed most / everything there was to heal and that you can heal on your own. But there's things that don't get triggered when you're alone. All I did know that stuff would still come up as soon as I'd meet someone. Because then more relationship/partner related old wounds would get triggered. And I was right. Some 'nice' ole stuff was indeed triggered. I was quite shocked by the depth and intensity of some of them too. Really overwhelming. But I'm not shying away from it, instead I'm grateful for the opportunity to now heal those issues, even though it's no walk in the park. I have needed his support a few times, which he gladly gave. And then I noticed it didn't take me all that long to recover either. And with the way he treats me, the things he says, the compliments I get, I don't think it's going to take a long time at all. I also notice that all the work I've done since I left my ex is really paying off. Big time! I'm so much stronger, can handle so much more than ever before, can communicate with him in ways I never could before. So all the hours, days, weeks I spent on personal growth, doing workshops (online) etc. etc. have helped me a lot! I think the biggest difference is good/clear communication. I can talk about what's bothering me, he listens and understands. Makes a helluva difference! I'm nowhere near there yet. But I can tell I've come a long way already. Also way too early days to say where it is going, but I am learning and healing so much already ... |
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Seems to me you ( the women who post here ) keep making the same mistakes over and over again without realizing it, getting romantically involved with 'bad' men then having to live with the pain and trauma.
What happened to your "red flags"? What happened to your "woman intuition"? There is another instance where someone keeps doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, it's called insanity. |
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IYS LIKE PEELING ONIONS ONE LAYER AT A TIME. GOOD LUCK CRYSTAL AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. |
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Seems to me you ( the women who post here ) keep making the same mistakes over and over again without realizing it, getting romantically involved with 'bad' men then having to live with the pain and trauma. What happened to your "red flags"? What happened to your "woman intuition"? There is another instance where someone keeps doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, it's called insanity. ITS ALL THEY HAVE. ITS THERE AWARENESS AT THE TIME. ITS NOT LIKE YOU TAKE A ASPIRIN. IT TOOK TIME TO DEVELOPE LIMITING BELIEFS AND TAKES TIME TO WORK THROUGH THEM. |
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have you ever experienced conquering any of those fears in life in the name of love? hehe |
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all I know and as always.am passionate about love still.
deep down in me I know I have so much more to offer. capable enough of building a home. qualified enough of creating beautiful family. yes indeed,it requires a brave soul to have me in his lifetime. knowing that the vulnerability of my soul will consistently appears. |
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Yes. Going through such a process now. I've been in a relationship with a narcissist for 10-11 yrs, got hurt real bad. I've gotten over it, healed most of it. But there are still some strong fears to overcome. Not easy, but I won't shy away from it. I'm not the type of person to let those fears run and ruin my life. I flatly refuse to let that happen. So I work through them. No matter how scary it is. It is really difficult and confusing, because sometimes I don't know if certain feelings I stumble upon are instigated by old fears or are actual 'red flags' that I shouldn't ignore. Extremely difficult to tell those apart, I have to totally rely on my intuition and ratio. Lots of sifting and sorting. Very tiring, nerve-racking, but I have -and want- to work through it so I heal. A difficult and yet beautiful process, and somewhat lonely. The other party understands, a requirement to be able to enter this process, but I cannot and do not want to bother him with it all the time. It's my 'old chit', not his. I am not in a relationship and go thru this daily all those old battle scars all those ghosts that run around in your brain that like to pop up and screw with how you are feeling or how a 'normal' person is supposed to feel.. so you have to stop all the time and take stock of how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way...name the source Yeah, it can be difficult indeed. I've basically healed most / everything there was to heal and that you can heal on your own. But there's things that don't get triggered when you're alone. All I did know that stuff would still come up as soon as I'd meet someone. Because then more relationship/partner related old wounds would get triggered. And I was right. Some 'nice' ole stuff was indeed triggered. I was quite shocked by the depth and intensity of some of them too. Really overwhelming. But I'm not shying away from it, instead I'm grateful for the opportunity to now heal those issues, even though it's no walk in the park. I have needed his support a few times, which he gladly gave. And then I noticed it didn't take me all that long to recover either. And with the way he treats me, the things he says, the compliments I get, I don't think it's going to take a long time at all. I also notice that all the work I've done since I left my ex is really paying off. Big time! I'm so much stronger, can handle so much more than ever before, can communicate with him in ways I never could before. So all the hours, days, weeks I spent on personal growth, doing workshops (online) etc. etc. have helped me a lot! I think the biggest difference is good/clear communication. I can talk about what's bothering me, he listens and understands. Makes a helluva difference! I'm nowhere near there yet. But I can tell I've come a long way already. Also way too early days to say where it is going, but I am learning and healing so much already ... 
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No ma'am I conquer my fear for me. Because even if the worst thing for me would be my own fears. If no one can hold a fear over you then that renders them powerless because they have no hold. For me it's heights. So one day I will have to conquer that fear.
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and seriously,if I wouldn't end up with someone to grow old with...
brooding a child or perhaps children would be perfectly fine 
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have you ever experienced conquering any of those fears in life in the name of love? I don't know exactly what fears you mean but i've done a lot for love...things i didn't know i could but when the moment came up & life surprised me with how strange & unpredictable it can be, i found myself doing things only for happiness of the woman i once loved SOMETIMES THE LOVE WE WISH FOR OTHERS IS NOT THE SAME KIND OF LOVE THEY SEEK... i love you .... goodbye ( life goes on) 
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Hy
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Be sure you figure out why you got so involved with that first nasty fellow first. I know it's been a decade since, but it does take a long time to really get to the bottom of things.
I'm sure your counselor has good advice about things to look for in yourself, including the obvious things such as confusing possessiveness with care, and violence with dedication or confidence. |
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