Topic: never accuse
deadeyebb's photo
Wed 08/31/16 09:38 PM
never accuse someone of doing something because if their not doing it and u keep accusing them of doing it then one day u might accuse them a little to much and they will be like well im getting accused of it might as well do it

soufiehere's photo
Wed 08/31/16 11:12 PM
Okay!

Rooster35's photo
Wed 08/31/16 11:26 PM
Accusations don't mean ****. The mouth is design to say many things but not all those things are true.
We get accused about something every day, even if you're not aware that you are. People are quick to judge and slow to reflect, plus it's easier to look at another's faults rather than one's own. It's self validation that the weak - minded need in order to feel clean and important.

You complain about accusations... try false charges.

jacktrades's photo
Thu 09/01/16 01:53 AM
I agree with you Sir, but the gate swings both ways.

no photo
Thu 09/01/16 06:02 AM
Bullsh*t smokin

33kirbyhoy33's photo
Thu 09/01/16 06:07 AM
yeah but usually I'm right 95% of the time. so the 5% I'm wrong oh well they probably did something wrong. LOL

no photo
Thu 09/01/16 06:24 AM
sounds like a handy excuse

TxsGal3333's photo
Thu 09/01/16 06:36 AM
Humm so ya saying that you got accused of something one too many times so now you are going to make it true instead???

Seems kind of backwards to me... just cause someone accuses me of something sure don't mean I'm gonna run out and make it true~~~slaphead

Myself if I get accused of something I speak my mind and if they don't believe me then I walk away and leave them with their mindset~~For you can not change someones mind what they believe, let it hit them later when they realize you was telling the truth it will be too late for them..

Insecure/jealous people I stay away from that normally pops up pretty early in a relationship..whoa

no photo
Thu 09/01/16 07:07 AM
Hmmmmm oky I see your logic .
Married men all over the world accuse your wifes of always wanting sex with you they might just come hm and ya know lol Busy parents accuse your kids everyday of cleaning the house I like your thinking .Iam off to the bar to accuse the bar man of giving doubles for the price of singles let ya know how I get on .

no photo
Thu 09/01/16 07:18 AM
Edited by SassyEuro2 on Thu 09/01/16 07:20 AM
With the OP's rationale

It is,... don't notice, or say or name or talk about,anything bad, illegal or imoral, or a crime...
Because the person will run out & do it.

Hhhaaa.... No. noway

People say & don't say & do & don't do,
what they want. And there are always reactions or consequences for it.



SitkaRains's photo
Thu 09/01/16 07:33 AM

never accuse someone of doing something because if their not doing it and u keep accusing them of doing it then one day u might accuse them a little to much and they will be like well im getting accused of it might as well do it

Well Personally I don't accuse...
If and when I confront the person I have their azz in a hand basket.
I have taken the time to find out if I am right. And then usually I am will have my say then I am gone...


If I am accused of something...I will NOT use it as a license to go and do it. I will want to know where they got their info or what led them the think it.


And if I am accused one time two many then I also wish them well and depart

Twintidbits24's photo
Thu 09/01/16 07:44 AM

sounds like a handy excuse


Right you are on that Note!!!....lolzzzzz...Stupidity is common nowadays....bigsmile

no photo
Thu 09/01/16 09:53 AM
never accuse someone of doing something because if their not doing it and u keep accusing them of doing it then one day u might accuse them a little to much and they will be like well im getting accused of it might as well do it

Are you referring to people living down to expectations?

Groups create norms.

They are communicated to the individual through expectations.

In dating, you are forming a group of 2.

People look to the other to help define and explain the norms to make it successful.

Most communication is indirect.

If you replace "accuse" with "expect" you get "never expect someone will do something bad, because if they're not doing it and you keep expecting them to do it, then one day they are going to do it."

Which can be true. When you indirectly communicate expectations, and the less healthy communication in the relationship there is, then what you are actually communicating by expecting is "if you behave how I expect you will, then I will provide you with quality feedback."

People want feedback. They want to know their role, their place, their purpose, whether they're doing something good or bad, and what you're going to do, how secure they are in the relationship, how important the relationship is, where they stand.

So, if they are craving to know WTF is going on, they may be manipulated into behaving towards the other persons expectations to trip the trap and get the feedback.


Or are you referring to the behavior of the accuser?
Then it can be true for a few reasons.
Like:
- If you keep accusing someone of doing something and they don't do it, but you are convinced they are going to, then you (many people) are going to keep expanding the definition of what would prove yourself to be true, and see what you want, seek out confirmation bias, to validate the belief and justify the behavior.

- If you keep accusing someone of something they aren't doing and believe yourself to be correct, you are going to change your behavior towards them.
e.g. cheating. You accuse them of cheating, think they're cheating, you pull away from them, distance yourself emotionally, try to protect yourself, end the relationship in your own head but not out loud.
IOW withdraw everything that is the relationship except your presence. If the accused wants a relationship and not getting the communication and feedback they are in a relationship, they are going to try and find it somewhere else, thereby "cheat."



If everything is the same, if behavior is consistently normal, and no one values the accusation, then simply accusing someone of something doesn't magically influence behavior.

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Fri 09/02/16 09:06 PM
Hmm. Well, let's see. A very long time ago, is the last time I heard anyone claim that the reason why they cheated on their mate, was because their mate kept accusing them of cheating.

As it happens, being the Historian type, I investigated, and discovered that EVERY TIME someone made that claim (that they only cheated because they were accused of it), they were flat out lying. They cheated because they wanted to cheat.

And after they were caught and dumped, they pretended that it was because they'd been accused of it, simply as an act of petulant revenge against the now ex-mate who they were angry at, for having dumped them.