Hello everyone.,how wil u know if a man really loves you and not just sex??

Hi Marie Try building a friendship with him first without the sex , and see how long he sticks around :)

When he surrenders his soul to you.
(He hands over the remote.)

I can think of a couple ways.
- spend a lot of time learning the biological processes involved and how they influence behavior. Learn the behavior effects and relationship stage triggers of testosterone, dopamine, oxytocin, estrogen, and vasopressin.
- trust your instincts, and even when they're wrong look for things that prove them right.
- learn to communicate.


If you're insecure about it you never will.
Thankfully there's birth control and penicillin.


Doing that will only ever prove some guys only want sex immediately and/or don't want to be used for social gratification.

Lots of guys are the "white knights" or, "nice guys, I'm not like those players." Perfectly willing to build a friendship...only to have the relationship seemingly crumble for different reasons right after you start having sex with them.
Lots of guys are perfectly willing to build your desire for friendship first, and once you start having sex they change the relationship into a FWB. Sometimes, since they already did the "F" for a while, they deserve overcompensation of the "B" without any "F" stuff.

Unless you're "really" saying "who cares what a man feels. You're a woman. All women want is a relationship and emotional gratification. Men are just wanting sex and only care about sex and women don't. So, go after what you want. Don't be used for sex. Use them for validation, emotional gratification, attention, and social support. Use them for a relationship first rather than be used for sex first."

There are lots of women who do that.

Lots of women are the "I'm not a slut, men suck" or, "nice girl," perfectly willing to build a friendship...only to have the relationship seem to crumble for different reasons (all his fault, or I'm insecure it's all my fault) right after she starts having sex with the guy.
Lots of women are perfectly willing to build a friendship first, and once they start having sex will try to change the relationship or the guy into what they really want.

Friendship is done for its own sake.
If you want to be friends, be friends. Be consistent with relationship boundaries, rules, and communication, otherwise you're playing games.

Once you try to use it as a gateway to manipulate interaction into a different type of relationship, you are not doing something positive.
A guy exhibiting or promoting long term relationship behavior to get sex is no different than a woman exhibiting or promoting friendship to get to a romantic relationship.

Both are just playing games to achieve a selfish goal, manipulating rules and boundaries for their own benefit and comfort to avoid having to actually learn to communicate.
"If I just manipulate their behavior into rules and boundaries I understand and accept their meaning, then they must be communicating the feelings and thoughts I really want. I made a human being (or for players got them to believe I am going to) act like a duck, quack like a duck, therefore they are now a duck, and that's what I was looking for, I don't have to learn English."


And, unless you want to go be a doctor, psychologist, and sociologist, ultimately that is going to be how you know if a man really loves you and not (just? just want?) sex.

Learning to communicate is still going to require a lot from you.
You not only have to figure out if he is trying to learn to communicate with you, or shortcut communication in order to get what he wants, but you have to learn to communicate with him, learn how he communicates and adapt, rather than simply expect him to learn and conform to your way.

It's in his kiss (choir) that's where it is!

I HAVE NO SHORT ANSWER FOR THIS QUESTION......WE NEVER REALLY KNOW IN SHORT TERM

BECAUSE WE ALL BRING HIDDEN AGENDAS TO THE TABLE....AND COUPLE'S ARE

ALWAYS TRYING TO KEEP A COMFORTABLE DISTANCE BETWEEN EACH OTHER

EMOTIONALLY.......ALWAYS MAKE HIM EARN YOUR LOVE, HE WILL NOT APPRECIATE FREE

LOVE, WHY BECAUSE BOYS WILL BE BOYS....

HahahahahahahhahahAha truth!

...and his porn collection.

wow you are the man!! :flowerforyou

This sounds really sweet Greeneyes , but I have seen guys do things like that or whatever it takes for the month or two it takes to get the woman into bed.

Women : BEWARE!!!

I beg to differ. Listen to experts on this... they tell you a different story.
Basically it's up to every woman to decide when and whether she'll have sex with a guy or not.
If you make him wait just to see how long he's going to stick around, he may leave. Not cause he wasn't interested in you, but because he'll come to think you aren't sexual. No man wants a woman who isn't sexual. And if a woman is healthy, she wouldn't want a guy who isn't either.
So the least thing you have to do is flirt, be playful, cheeky, show him that you are sexual and sexually interested in him.
The right time to have sex may vary. Depends on your own norms & value system and physical needs. Best would be to wait till you've had enough emotionally shared moments together. As in deep moments to create bonding. A woman bonds through sex, a man doesn't, hence that advice.

How to know if he truly loves you, well ... you cannot expect someone to really love you if you're only just started dating. Love and deeper feelings take time to develop.
But in general ... in his kiss, he's not pushing you to have sex on the first or second date and/or respects you telling him you don't move that fast. If he's there for you, wants to spend time with you, wants to be with you etc etc. All quite logical things really...

Nah . Thank God it didnt happen to me , but I have friends who have been victims. Remember there are some great "players " out there who know what buttons to push to get a girl into bed . And remember the OP asks about being able to discern love vs sexual exploitation. . A good player could execute all the lovely moves you spoke about in less than a month to get what he wants, and disapoear soon after. Such men do exist unfortunately and women should be aware of that

Hi there.

Ya never do really. It's all about trust.

Two genuine people in love sharing every aspect of their lives with each other. honesty,integrity,trust is true love.

A long time ago, we didn't have sex before marriage.
... but as I said, that was a long time ago.

If he asks you to marry him and gives you a diamond ring, then IMO he most
probably loves you and not just sex.

Hi Blondey! Thank you :)

Hmmmmm. It takes a month or two to crack your nut.

When he respects you, has eyes for you, and only you!

But personality and attitude are most important to me...... I PROMISE MY KIDS THE BEST MUM IN THE WORLD