A woman goes to a bank to get a loan. She tells the loan manager she's going to Europe in another week and would like a $5,000 loan. The manager says "Okay, but I'm going to need some kind of collateral" upon which the lady hands him the keys to her Rolls Royce. He goes outside, drives and parks the car in the banks parking garage. A few weeks goes by and the lady comes back to pay the loan plus the $15.41 interest. The loan manager says "Thank you but one thing puzzles me. According to our records you're a multimillionaire so why did you need the loan?" The lady replies "Well where else in New York City can I park my car for $15."

good one. Thanks for sharing.

LOL don't tell me only the millionarire in new york having the car.....unless those cop will having more time to pay attention with the social crims nut the trafic jam......

More jokes:
(1) I heard Jim Bakker and Jim Swaggart are getting together to publish a magazine, they're going to call it "RepentHouse."
(2) Why did Beetohven get rid of his chickens? All they ever kept saying was "Bach, Bach, Bach."
(3) Did you hear about the poker game between Christopher Columbus, Vasco Degama and Leif Erickson? They could never seem to beat the Straights of Magellen.
(4) A priest and a pastor were standing along a roadside holding up a sign that said "The end is near, turn around while there's still time!" A guy pulls up to them and yells "You guys are nuts!" then speeds off. Suddenly they hear screeching tires and a big splash so the priest turns to the pastor and says "Shouldn't we just hold up a sign that says 'Bridge out'?"
(5) An air conditioner man is accidentally sent to Hell. It wasn't until a week later that God realizes the mistake so he asks Saint Peter to call Satan to get him up to Heaven. Peter calls and Satan answers the phone "What do you want?" Peter "Is there an air conditioner man down there?" Satan "Yeah, and he's going to stay down here because everything's great now!" Peter "Oh no you don't. He was sent down there by accident and if you don't send him up here right now we're going to sue you!" Satan "Oh yeah! Where are you going to find a lawyer!" and hangs up the phone.
(6) Saint Peter was showing a cat around Heaven and when the tour was done he leads the cat to his room. Before he left he told the cat "If there's anything you need you let me know because here in Heaven we want you to be happy." upon which the cat says "I've always wanted one of those big fluffy white pillows to sleep on." and Peter replies "Sure, no problem." A week later Peter was showing a group of mice around Heaven and when the tour was done he leads them to their room. Before he left he told the mice "If there's anything you need you let me know because here in Heaven we want you to be happy." upon which the mice say "That commissary is far away. May we have some of those small roller skates to get there quicker?" and Peter replies "Sure, no problem." Next week Peter goes and checks on the cat and asks "Well, how are you liking it here?" The cat replies "I love it! Now I know what it means to be in Heaven. I like my pillow and I'm really enjoiying those meals on wheels."
(7) Three men are in front of Saint Peter and he says to them "I'm going to ask you one question and however you answer it that's how' I'll decided what car you get to drive. He asks the first guy "Did you ever cheat on your wife?" Guy 1 "Yeah, I did a lot." So Peter gives him a small car and the guy gets inside and takes off. He asks the second guy the same question "Did you ever cheat on your wife?" Guy 2 "Only once." So Peter gives him the mid-sized car and the guy gets in and takes off." He asks the third guy the same question "Did you ever cheat on your wife?" Guy 3 "No, I never did." So Peter gives him the SUV and the guy gets in and takes off. A week later the guys with the small and mid-sized car see the man with the SUV on the street corner crying. They come up to him and say "What's wrong? You've got it made." Upon which the man replies "I just saw my wife and she was riding a skateboard."
(8) Three men are in front of Saint Peter who tells them "Basiclly you can do whatever you want here but we have one rule and that is you can't step on a duck because if you do it takes us a long time to calm them down. Well it wasn't before long when the first guy steps on a duck and Peter confronts him saying "I told you not to step on a duck." Upon which Peter takes and handcuffs to the man a mean ugly woman saying "sorry, but this is your punishment." It wasn't before long and the second guy steps on a duck and Peter confronts him saying "I told you not to step on a duck." Upon which Peter takes and handcuffs to the man an even meaner uglier woman saying "sorry, but this is your punishment." The third guy never steps on a duck so Peter takes and handcuffs to the man the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his life. Looking around in confusion he asks "What did I do to deserve this?" The woman turns to him and says "I don't know about you but I steped on a duck."
(9) A Baptist and Methodist ministers are friends. Every Sunday they road their bikes where they would meet at a crossroad and would stop to talk and exchange notes. One day the Baptist minister happened to be walking on foot so the Methodist minister asked "What happened to your bike brother?" The Baptist minister replies "Brother, I do believe someone in my congregation stoled my bike." The Methodist says "Okay, I'll tell you what you should do. Today preach on the Ten Commandments and come down on 'though shall not steal', you make them smell the brimstone." The Baptist says "Okay, I'll do that. Next week the Baptist happens to be riding his bike so the Methodist says "Hallelujah brother! I see you got your bike back so my suggestion worked." The Baptist mumbles under his breath "Something like that." The Methodist asks "What do you mean?" The Baptist says "Well when we got to the Commandment 'though shall not commit adultery' I remembered where my bike was.

I know it's just a joke, but I don't think the deal with the Rolls would work in real life. Banks and other loan people are famous for making sure they make money on everything. If a rich person wanted the bank to store and protect the rolls, for the duration of the loan, they would be required to pay the interest, AND the storage fees.

But I do like the thinking-outside-the-box-ness of it.

Again more jokes:
(10) A teacher asks her class "Where does God live?" Johnny raises his hand and replies "He lives in my bathroom." The teacher asks "Why do you say that?" Johnny replies "Because every time my dad knocks on the door he says 'God are you still in there'?"
(11) There was this owner of a General Store who was best known for quoting bible verses after every customer left the store. One day a rich man walks in and says he wants to buy a blanket for his horse upon which the owner takes one off the shelf, slaps it on the counter and says "That'll be $25." The rich man says "Oh no sir, that's not good enough for my horse, do you got anymore in the back?" So the owner goes to the back, pulls the same kind of blanket off the shelf but just a different color, goes to the front counter, slaps it on the counter and says "That'll be $50." Again the rich man says "Oh no sir, that's still not good enough for my horse, do you got anymore in the back?" Again the owner goes to the back, pulls the same kind of blanket off the shelf but again just a different color, goes to the front counter, slaps it on the counter and says "That'll be $75." This time the rich man says "That's more like it" and buys the blanket. As he walks out the store the owner says this quote "For he was a stranger and I took him in."
(12) There was this man who was walking on the ice and with him he had an awe gore. When he finds the right spot he starts drilling when suddenly he hears a voice says "There are no fish down there." He looks around but sees no one so continues to drill but again he hears the voice saying "There are no fish down there." Again he looks around but again sees no one so he continues to drill but again he hears the voice saying "There are no fish down there." This time he looks up to Heaven and asks "Is that you God?" The voice replies "No, this is the ice rink manager and again I'm telling you there are no fish down there!"

(13) A lawyer goes duck hunting in Tennessee. He shoots down a duck and watches as the duck falls down into a farmers field. He goes looking for the duck when the farmer of the field pulls up in his tractor and asks the guy "what are you doing?" The lawyer replies "I shot down a duck and it landed in this field somewhere." The farmer says "well this is my field and if it landed somewhere here then it belongs to me." The lawyer replies "oh yeah, well I'm a lawyer and trust me when I tell you I can sue for everything you have." The farmer replies "well now Mr. Lawyer lets not be hasty about this. We can settle this with the Tennessee 3 kick rule." The lawyer says "okay, but I've haven't heard of that. How does it work?" The farmer replies "I kick you 3 times and then you kick me 3 times and then we keep kicking each other until one of us says I give up. Does that sound fair?" The lawyer replies "it sure does." So the farmer gets down from the his tractor and says "sense this is my field I get to go first." He kicks the lawyer in his guts and he bends over in pain. Next he kicks the guy in his groin and he falls to the ground. Last he kicks the guy in the kidney and he passes out. Somehow the lawyer summons all his strength and gets up. He says to the farmer "okay old man now it's my turn." Upon which the farmer throws up his hands and says "no, I give up. Go ahead and find your duck."

(14) A man from the city quits his job to become a farmer. The next day he goes shopping for some farm animals. The first farmer he sees is selling donkeys so he asks him "How much do you want for that donkey?" The farmer replies "You must be from the city" "Yes" replies the guy. "Well around here we call them *****. They can be stubborn at times so you got to scratch to get them to move." The guy buys the donkey and moves onto the next farmer who's selling roosters. He asks the farmer "How much do you want for that rooster?" The farmer replies "You must be from the city" "Yes" replies the guy. "Well around here we call them cocks." The guy buys the rooster and says "Well I'm done shopping for today." As he starts to make his way home the donkey sits down so the guy looks around to find someone to hold his rooster and sees a woman walking near him and asks her "excuse me, could you hold my cock while I scratch my ***?"

And the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Guess us poorer souls just have to watch am learn.

good1

That'z a good one!!!