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| Topic: So you find love... then what? | |
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Almost every single person is so focused on finding love that I wonder if they have any idea what they want once they find that.
As with everything in life: once you find fulfillment, another desire will come up. I doubt most like the prospect of that being it: having a partner, slouching on the settee, becoming a bonbon eating and beer drinking couch potato with no more goals in life. Not literally, but you catch my drift I hope! What do you think you'd want once you find that love? What would be your next, new desire? Have you ever thought about that? Can you look beyond the 'I want love' part? |
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Well, you have hit on why I skip past all the profiles whose owners say they want to climb mountains or go on other grand adventures. And the "life should be one long night on the town" kind of people.
As hard as love is to find, life compatibility is harder. |
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Almost every single person is so focused on finding love that I wonder if they have any idea what they want once they find that. As with everything in life: once you find fulfillment, another desire will come up. I doubt most like the prospect of that being it: having a partner, slouching on the settee, becoming a bonbon eating and beer drinking couch potato with no more goals in life. Not literally, but you catch my drift I hope! What do you think you'd want once you find that love? What would be your next, new desire? Have you ever thought about that? Can you look beyond the 'I want love' part? when i find it i hope to keep it for as long as it can last and as long as it can possibly grow.  
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Good question...WHO FIND WHAT ??...
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I would have thought marriage, or a living together partnership, would be something soon to be on the agenda if both parties have fallen in love with each other, and whereabouts they are going to live. |
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Interesting question crystal :)
I wouldnt be in a relationship with a man who didnt have his own goals and dreams that he was pursuing prior to our union, and I certainly had a life and purpose before he stepped on the scene. So the "what next" would be the business of us supporting each other's respective pursuits , forging joint goals , and making the adjustments necessary to make "him"," me ", and "us" work. |
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I think you have to set them free, and see if they return...
or stalk them till they file a restraining order. 
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Interesting question crystal :) I wouldnt be in a relationship with a man who didnt have his own goals and dreams that he was pursuing prior to our union, and I certainly had a life and purpose before he stepped on the scene. So the "what next" would be the business of us supporting each other's respective pursuits , forging joint goals , and making the adjustments necessary to make "him"," me ", and "us" work. Exactly how I feel about it :) I also need a man to have his own things going for him in life. And indeed you have to have joint goals. What you say totally resonates with me.  |
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I would have thought marriage, or a living together partnership, would be something soon to be on the agenda if both parties have fallen in love with each other, and whereabouts they are going to live. That is indeed possible, but some have reached a point in life where they don't want to get married anymore, some even prefer a LAT relationship over living together. Others would maybe like to raise a family. I guess a lot depends on age. I mean, I'm 51, kids are not on my agenda anymore. I would like to travel together. But I have to sell a helluva lot of copies of my book before that can happen, hihi. |
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I like what you've done here Crystal...pointing out how it "seems" that "some" almost commodify the acquisition of love. Is there a coupon, and where do they make these widgets?
I think most (that would answer here anyway) ARE about the union, shared journey, partnership, team goal quest, warmth/support, healthy perspective challenge, idea exchange, etc....that can only be had by giving and accepting...(completely) with another human being. |
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Interesting question crystal :) I wouldnt be in a relationship with a man who didnt have his own goals and dreams that he was pursuing prior to our union, and I certainly had a life and purpose before he stepped on the scene. So the "what next" would be the business of us supporting each other's respective pursuits , forging joint goals , and making the adjustments necessary to make "him"," me ", and "us" work. Exactly how I feel about it :) I also need a man to have his own things going for him in life. And indeed you have to have joint goals. What you say totally resonates with me. Great topic for discussion Crystal, I too have desires similar to Peggy. Sure there will be times, sometimes long periods of time where we would get lost in each other, wish for nothing more than being together in the moment with that person. But to me, my relationship would be based on who I am and who she is. I like to word it as "If You Being You Sets my World On Fire, That is all I Need" All relationships change everyone all the time. If You are interested in Me as I am and I am intersested in You as you Are we will need to retain those qualities during the relationship. We gained those qualities on our own so we will need to have alone time and experiences to keep them alive. We also gained new qualities during our relationship that made us unique as a couple so we need to continue that behavior as well. Entering into a loving relationship is the end of our search but not the end of us as individuals, it is the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. |
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Interesting question crystal :) I wouldnt be in a relationship with a man who didnt have his own goals and dreams that he was pursuing prior to our union, and I certainly had a life and purpose before he stepped on the scene. So the "what next" would be the business of us supporting each other's respective pursuits , forging joint goals , and making the adjustments necessary to make "him"," me ", and "us" work. Exactly how I feel about it :) I also need a man to have his own things going for him in life. And indeed you have to have joint goals. What you say totally resonates with me. Great topic for discussion Crystal, I too have desires similar to Peggy. Sure there will be times, sometimes long periods of time where we would get lost in each other, wish for nothing more than being together in the moment with that person. But to me, my relationship would be based on who I am and who she is. I like to word it as "If You Being You Sets my World On Fire, That is all I Need" All relationships change everyone all the time. If You are interested in Me as I am and I am intersested in You as you Are we will need to retain those qualities during the relationship. We gained those qualities on our own so we will need to have alone time and experiences to keep them alive. We also gained new qualities during our relationship that made us unique as a couple so we need to continue that behavior as well. Entering into a loving relationship is the end of our search but not the end of us as individuals, it is the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. Exactly! Wonderfully written :)
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Then move on and try to be happy with your loved ones.
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Then move on and try to be happy with your loved ones.
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Interesting question crystal :) I wouldnt be in a relationship with a man who didnt have his own goals and dreams that he was pursuing prior to our union, and I certainly had a life and purpose before he stepped on the scene. So the "what next" would be the business of us supporting each other's respective pursuits , forging joint goals , and making the adjustments necessary to make "him"," me ", and "us" work. Exactly how I feel about it :) I also need a man to have his own things going for him in life. And indeed you have to have joint goals. What you say totally resonates with me.
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Great topic for discussion Crystal, I too have desires similar to Peggy. Sure there will be times, sometimes long periods of time where we would get lost in each other, wish for nothing more than being together in the moment with that person. But to me, my relationship would be based on who I am and who she is. I like to word it as "If You Being You Sets my World On Fire, That is all I Need" All relationships change everyone all the time. If You are interested in Me as I am and I am intersested in You as you Are we will need to retain those qualities during the relationship. We gained those qualities on our own so we will need to have alone time and experiences to keep them alive. We also gained new qualities during our relationship that made us unique as a couple so we need to continue that behavior as well. Entering into a loving relationship is the end of our search but not the end of us as individuals, it is the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. This is excellent Tom, I couldnt agree with you more! |
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I like what you've done here Crystal...pointing out how it "seems" that "some" almost commodify the acquisition of love. Is there a coupon, and where do they make these widgets? I think most (that would answer here anyway) ARE about the union, shared journey, partnership, team goal quest, warmth/support, healthy perspective challenge, idea exchange, etc....that can only be had by giving and accepting...(completely) with another human being. It was you who taught me the phrase that romantic love is a "friendship on fire" Beach, and I never forgot it. With all the building, sharing, compromising etc, that friendship and fire has to be nurtured with every passing day . Thats a fundamental part of the "what next' too :) |
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I think most (that would answer here anyway) ARE about the union, shared journey, partnership, team goal quest, warmth/support, healthy perspective challenge, idea exchange, etc....that can only be had by giving and accepting...(completely) with another human being. I see that in a lot of relationships. We get so wrapped up in being us that we forget to be ourselves first. As time moves on the 'we' replaces the 'I' and our own identities get lost. It scares us and we end a relationship to try to find ourselves again. If we can maintain our own individual identity along with our united identity we don't feel that need to go alone to find ourselves because we are not lost. What we need is trust towards the other so they too can maintain their own identity. That trust is built with honest communication and demonstration of intentional acts of love towards one another. |
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Edited by
Beachfarmer
on
Mon 06/19/17 03:26 PM
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I like what you've done here Crystal...pointing out how it "seems" that "some" almost commodify the acquisition of love. Is there a coupon, and where do they make these widgets? I think most (that would answer here anyway) ARE about the union, shared journey, partnership, team goal quest, warmth/support, healthy perspective challenge, idea exchange, etc....that can only be had by giving and accepting...(completely) with another human being. It was you who taught me the phrase that romantic love is a "friendship on fire" Beach, and I never forgot it. With all the building, sharing, compromising etc, that friendship and fire has to be nurtured with every passing day . Thats a fundamental part of the "what next' too :) Gosh! Thank you! I wish that one was mine Pegs! (Not sure where Leigh a historical mingler got it) I guess at this point in history we are doing well in knowing whom to learn from, quote, and emulate. I think/hope most realize that finding like minds is the "beginning". Crystal seems to be on her way.. and sweet connections to you and I! 
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Mon 06/19/17 03:03 PM
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Yes... I could not have found a man who complements me more than he does!
I knew that existed, just had to be possible and I never lost faith in that, but sometimes I can still be flabbergabbered to think that we actually found each other  Leigh... yes, she was brill, wasn't she! Hope she's doing well! And of course I'll drink to you, and everybody else, finding that connection too!
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